This idea has been knocking around in my head for a while. I posted it on an instagram chat and people seemed to like it. I want this story to be interactive so please include your ideas in reviews and I'll base chapters on them! I'll expand on that at the end of this introductory chapter.
Shipping wars are too rampant in this fandom so, aside from specific ship stories, I'm going to keep everyone platonic. Yes, I know this means retconning Alphyne but I don't want to bog it down with romance when this is meant as a comedy. I wanted to make this all inclusive and I know of too many opposing ships for it to work unless I just eliminate them entirely. There will be no ship bashing here, even of ones I personally dislike.
Frisk is a girl for this fic mainly because I don't like the "they" pronoun in the context of a fanfic (worked well in the game but it makes it a little confusing in written stories) and I always kind of imagined her as a girl.
Now that's out of the way, I hope you enjoy this silly little fic and please don't hesitate to make suggestions!
Chapter One: The Last Straw
The Great Papyrus had a reputation to uphold. True, surface life was a slightly bigger adjustment than he had expected. Sure the driving test had been a heck of a lot harder than he'd anticipated (why did humans insist on learning "parallel parking" anyway?). But he liked to think that he was adjusting just as well as everyone else.
Except Sans of course.
Sans knew the ropes of this new world. He slipped up a bit here and there but for all intents and purposes, it was like he'd lived with humans all his life. Papyrus rather thought it was like Sans was just a really smart guy who didn't live up to his potential. Why waste all that brainpower snoozing at illegal hot dog stands when he could have... could have...
Well, Papyrus didn't know what Sans could have done. Something smart and meaningful, he supposed.
But it was nice to know that some things never changed. He still met with Undyne for training sessions. He still lived in a flat with Sans (more out of habit than anything). He still created overly complicated puzzles whenever he could (though the crossing guard had been quite unpleasant when Papyrus had so cleverly laid out Alphys's tile puzzle on top of the crosswalk to give her an extra challenge).
Unfortunately, Sans was one of the things that never changed. And while this was a small comfort to Papyrus, it was also a source of irritation.
Not too long after they got to the surface, the weather had turned cool and Frisk started chatting about dressing up for a strange sort of holiday involving candy and pumpkins. Sans had taken great interest, helping the child make a costume of the strange, blonde singing lady in that weird snow movie they'd watched recently (Papyrus had taken a liking to the talking snowman but the rest of the film was... strange). On this day, Papyrus had been cooking in the kitchen and was about to serve them his new and Toriel approved spaghetti making technique when he opened the door to the living room. Instantly, a horribly loud sound filled the room and Papyrus nearly dropped the platter of spaghetti all over himself. Raucous laughter filled the room from Sans, Frisk, and Undyne.
"SANS!" he bellowed, whipping around to find an air horn duct taped to the wall the door had hit.
"Ahh come on, Papyrus." Sans shrugged, giving his brother a toothy grin. "There's no need to be hornery!"
"UGH!" Papyrus slammed the platter of spaghetti on the table, jumping out of the way of the sauce splatters before they harmed his precious uniform. "I give up!"
"Don't be like that, Papyrus." Undyne wheezed. "It was a harmless-"
"Harmless? HARMLESS?" Papyrus stamped his foot. "I nearly got sauce on my shirt! Do you know how long it would have taken to wash it out! What do I have to do to get some respect around here?"
"It's like you don't even have a funny bone." Sans shook his head almost sadly. "I guess only some of us can take a joke."
"A joke?" Papyrus swelled indignantly, which was quite a feat for him considering the fact that his body comprised of bones. "Freezing my spaghetti and serving it during my meeting with Asgore? Hiding 37 alarm clocks all over my room and set within minutes of each other? And I have to open every can in this house while pointing it away from me just in case a plastic snake comes jumping out! Well I've had enough!"
Papyrus ignored Sans, Frisk, and Undyne's calls for him to stay as he stomped out of the house, slamming the door behind him. He had barely progressed two feet before bumping into Toriel.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Toriel smiled warmly and took a step back to let Papyrus pass. "Are you all right, Papyrus?"
"I'm fine." Papyrus snapped in a voice so obviously upset that he didn't even convince himself.
"No you're not. Come on, calm down, let's talk about it." Toriel led him to a bench and placed her paw on his shoulder. Papyrus reluctantly sat down. "Now what's wrong?"
"It's nothing." Papyrus grumbled. But before Toriel could open her mouth to respond, he continued talking. "My brother is driving me insane!"
"Oh dear." Toriel smiled understandingly. "What did he do this time?"
"What hasn't he done? Every day it's something different. If he's not unscrewing ketchup and mustard bottles enough for the top to come off, he's sneaking into my room and writing stupid additions to my to-do lists!"
"He's getting out of control?"
"He passed out of control years ago! Now he's unbearable! And I've had enough! There's no getting back at him! He's too good!" Papyrus groaned. "I'm tired of living this way."
Toriel was silent for a moment. "You know..." she said slowly. "You could ask for help."
"From whom? Undyne is always collaborating with Sans in these obnoxious endeavors!"
"No, silly." Toriel laughed. "From me!"
"From... from you?" Papyrus was caught off guard by this unexpected response. "You would help me get my revenge against Sans and Undyne?"
"It sounds like fun." Toriel said cheerfully. "Been a long time since I've had a partner in crime."
"Yes but you're so... so..."
"Yes?"
"Umm... mature!" Papyrus said hurriedly.
"I did have a life before everything happened, you know." Toriel reminded him. "And this way I can make sure your plans aren't too dangerous. We don't want anyone to get hurt."
"Perhaps..." Papyrus thought about this for a moment. "I think it could work. Sans would never expect you to be the mastermind behind it all! It's brilliant!"
"Well sometimes you do have to fight fire with fire."
"Wait..." Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets. "Are you saying I should start cooking the way Undyne taught me again?"
"No!" Toriel shook her head vehemently. "All right, I've already got an idea." Toriel donned a mischievous expression and explained her plan to Papyrus in a low voice. When she was finished talking, Papyrus looked giddy.
"Yes! That will teach him to stop these ridiculous pranks!" he exclaimed (though not too loudly or Sans and Undyne would hear).
"And if not, you can come back to me for ideas." Toriel assured him. "But I do have to go. Frisk has a dentist appointment in about a half hour and I don't want to be late."
"Of course." Papyrus stood up. "I will be taking your advice tomorrow morning."
"Let me know how it goes." Toriel said before pushing open the door to the flat, Papyrus at her heels.
"I've opted to forgive your nefarious pranking. This time." he said rather loudly before going into his room.
"Well that's a bit... suspicious." said Sans, staring at Papyrus's bedroom door. "What got into him?"
"I haven't the slightest idea." Toriel said calmly. "Come on, Frisk. Best not to be late."
As Toriel helped Frisk put on her coat, Undyne turned to Sans.
"This isn't over, is it?" she asked him.
"Oh no. I have a feeling this is just beginning." Sans rubbed his hands together. "And I can't wait."
I hope you liked this! Future updates will likely be a bit longer. Please give me some prank ideas because this has only just started and it's going to get crazy!
Don't forget to review!
~KateMarie999