This is a crack-fic that I don't think I plan on continuing. But it was too good to not be shared with.

Collab with badlydrawnmadarao. Go check out the tumblr.

Based on the Skype chat.

Enjoy.

Angst… Shitposting… Sin… Salt. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when Sin Nation attacked. Only the Jexorcist, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him the most, he vanished. A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Jexorcist, a Saltbender named Kanda. And although his Saltbending skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to save anyone. But I believe Kanda can somehow save the world.

Freezing waters, smoky fog, and the angst pool. Those are the only things Lenalee can see as her eyes surveyed the area. Her brother, Komui, stands beside her, spear in hand. They are currently making their way around the area, in hopes to find the Hearthurt fish. Komui noticed one of the fishes swimming around an angst pool.

"It's not getting away from me this time. Watch and learn, Lenalee," Komui said to his sister. "This is how you catch a fish."

While Komui was focusing on that fish, Lenalee leaned over the edge of the angst pool, for she also saw a Hearthurt fish swimming in there. She took a deep breath and placed one of her hands into the angst. Suddenly, a globe of the angst substance containing the fish bursts out of the water.

"Komui, look!" Lenalee said.

"Shhh, Lenalee, you're gonna scare it away," Komui hushed his sister. "Mmmm… I can already smell it cookin'! We must take it back to Jerry soon."

Lenalee struggled to control the sphere of angst. "But Komui! I caught one!"

The sphere of angst slowly made its way closer to Komui. Just as Komui was about to activate his spear that he had personally modified, he accidentally burst the sphere, dumping a whole lot of angst on himself. The Hearthurt fish escaped back into the angst pool.

"Hey!" Komui exclaimed. Suddenly, Komui began crying. "Lenaleeeeee! Why must you do this to meeeee?"

"Stop it, Komui! It's your fault for now paying attention to what I said. I did warn you."

"But the angst!" Komui wailed. "It's hurting my heart so much."

Lenalee sighed. "Bear with it, brother."

"But Lenaleeeeee," Komui sobbed.

Lenalee slapped her hand over her forehead. 'This is going take a while.'

As Lenalee waited for Komui to calm down, she suddenly heard a noise.

"Komui…"

Komui, who had already quieted down, also nodded at Lenalee. "I heard it too, Lenalee."

Then another splash noise was made.

Lenalee and Komui slowly turned their heads toward the direction of the angst pool.

Ripples of angst lapped the edge of the pool. Lenalee and Komui stared as more splashing noises was made.

Suddenly, a hand popped out, grasping onto the edge of the pool.

Lenalee and Komui watched as the hand pushed itself up to reveal a very drenched in angst person. The person in question dragged themselves out of the pool and flopped onto the surface. Lenalee can see the body heaving as the person began hacking up the angst. Lenalee took a step closer.

"No, Lenalee! Stay away from that octopus!" Komui screeched.

"Be quiet, brother!" Lenalee told her brother.

Upon closer look, Lenalee can see that person is a male. Long hair covered the head of the man. There wasn't any article of clothing that's seen worn on the person's torso, revealing a strange black tattoo on the chest over where the heart is.

Unexpectedly, the unknown male looked up. Lenalee can see the pain that flashed through the man's eyes, the angst still in effect deep within his body. One of his hand slowly lifted up towards Lenalee's direction.

Before Lenalee can take the hand and help the man, she inevitable stopped by a particular sister-complex brother.

"Stay away from my sweet, darling Lenalee!" Komui then pressed a button Lenalee hadn't noticed before on the spear. "GO, KOMURIN IV!"

The spear suddenly transformed, somehow shifting into a huge robot.

"KILL THAT OCTOPUS, KOMURIN!"

"BROTHER, NO!"

But before she could do anything else, the male made a movement with the hand that he had a lifted. Lenalee watched with astonishment as some white substance began surrounding the hand.

'Is that...salt?'

Unfortunately, the man was too slow and with a loud bonk, Komurin IV slapped the man hard on the head, causing him to immediately lose conciousness.

"Kuh!"

The last thing the man heard before the darkness overwhelmed was this:

"GODDAMNIT, KOMUI!"