(AN: Hey, welcome to Pikcrack! This is going to be a little dumb series where I write stuff about whatever Pikmin stuff comes to mind. Basically, filler in between chapters of my main fic Pikmin Colors. But you can read this for its own merit, if you want. This first chapter is a rewrite of A Trekkie's Tale to fit in with Pikmin fanfictions, and also to be kinda gender-neutral because there are bad writers of all sexes.)
'Gee, golly, gosh, gloriosky,' thought Selphenn Sert as they stepped into the cockpit of the Drake. 'Here I am, the youngest lieutenant and technician of the fleet, only fifteen and a half years old.'
Captain Charlie came up to them. "Oh, Lieutenant, I love you like my rubber ducky. Will you come to bath with me?"
"Captain! I am not that kind of person!"
"You're right, and I respect you for it. Here, take over the ship for a minute while I go get some coffee for us."
Alph came up to them. "What are you doing in the command seat, Lieutenant?"
"The Captain told me to."
"OK, awesome Lieutenant."
Captain Charlie, Alph, and Brittany beamed down with Lt. Selphenn Sert to a newly discovered planet, FNP-515. They were attacked by Green Pikmin and thrown into a cave. In a moment of weakness Lt. Selphenn Sert revealed to Alph that they, too, were a technician. Recovering quickly, they sprung the lock with their bag of holding's contents and all of them got away back to the Drake.
But back on board, Dr. Ori Ginalchar and Lt. Selphenn Sert found out that the men who had beamed down were seriously stricken by Pikminification disease, Selphenn Sert less so. While the crew languished in the ｓｉｃｃ bay, Lt. Selphenn Sert ran the Drake, and ran it so well they recieved the Nobel Peace Prize, a place in the Hall of Fame and also over a hundred reviews!
However the disease finally got to Selphenn Sert and they fell fatally ill. In the ｓｉｃｃ bay, as they breathed their last, they were surrounded by Captain Charlie, Alph, and Brittany, all weeping unashamedly at the loss of their beautiful youth and youthful beauty, intelligence, capability and all around niceness. Even to this day their birthday is an international holiday in Koppai and Hocotate.