"Oh goshies!" Castiel declared sadly and glumly staring at his empty hand.
"What?" Dean sauntered up all super sexy like, wrapping his sexy arm sexily around Cass's less sexy shoulders.
"Look!" Cassie shouted, tears streaming down out of his deep blue oceany eyes. They were so much like the ocean you could almost hear the cries of the kids who's sand castles were being stepped on by other kids who were like bigger and therefore meaner cause duh big kids are mean.
"What babe that is just your empty hand. Unless you wanna fill it with something." He smiled sexily and reached for the zipper on his super sexy jeans.
"Gosh flippity flabbity no Dean!" Cas cried. He said gosh and not God cause that would be totally offensive to his daddy and he like loves his daddy but not as much as he loves Dean. But sometimes Cas calls Dean daddy but we won't go into that cause this is not a story for kinks and stuffs this is serious so listen up btiches.
Anyway, Cas is still crying and stuff and Dean gently paps Cas's shoulder with a sexy look of concern.
"Babe, you gotta tell me what's up."
"Heavan Dean."
"What?"
"Heavan is up. Hell is down. And Denny's is to the east. Any other questions or can I tell you the problem."
Dean face palmed his sexy hand into his sexy forehead but then told Cas to tell him.
"I don't have a hogwarts letter."
"BABE NO!" Dean shouted, distraught and alarmed.
"I know!" Cas sobbed, grotesquely filling his hands with his angel tears that smelled like gumdrops and a unicorns chlamidiya riddled semen.
"I'm sorry babe, I gotta leave you.." Dean shook his head sadly and sexily and climbed in the impala.
"NO DEAN PLEASE! I NEED YOU!"
"Sorry sweetie, I don't date muggles." Dean pulled on some sexy sunglasses and badass music played as he drove off like totally fast and cool like leaving Cas sobbing in the Denny's parking lot.
"He didn't even buy me pancakes." He whispered sadly, looking down at his hands lacking both pancakes and his hogwarts letter.
The end.