Nothing Left to Lose Chapter 1: And so it begins, an inuyasha fanfic

"Here's to you, Inuyasha! Bottoms up." Kagome tipped half of the bottle's contents into her mouth savoring, yet despising the God awful taste. 'Whoa. Freaky. This stuff is like whiskey's evil twin. Whiskey, when you drink it, fills you with warmth, but, man, this stuff like brings chills everywhere. Or I guess I should say, it numbs you, which is what I hope it does. Pain is NOT my friend. Let's hope its fast acting. I can't stand being here any longer.' She set the bottle down on the cushiony grass next to her and picked up the sword she got for her 16th birthday from her okaa-san.

Breathe in right away.
Nothing seems to fill this place.
I need this every time
So take your lies, get off my case.
Someday I will find
A love that flows through me like this
This will fall away, this will fall away.

You're getting closer
To pushing me off of life's little edge
'Cause I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
'Cause I'm a loser, I'm a loser, yeah.

A single drop of sweat ran down form her raven hairline, right past the corner of her eye and ran down her cheek making it look like a solitary tear, but she brushed it away, impatiently. 'No time to even look like I'm having second thoughts.' Kagome unsheathed the finely crafted, razor edged weapon, watching as the blade reflected her face. She closed her eyes and positioned the sword right in front of her heart, the one Inuyasha had so cruelly and carelessly had torn in half over and over. 'But no more.'

This is getting old.
I can't break these chains that I hold
My body's growing cold
There's nothing left of this mind or my soul.
Addiction needs a pacifier, the buzz of this poison is taking me higher.
This will fall away, this will fall away.

You're getting closer
To pushing me off of life's little edge.
'Cause I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead.
You're getting closer
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
'Cause I'm a loser
I'm a loser!

With a final image of Inuyasha and his happy new life with Kikyo in her mind, she plunged the deadly blade into her chest. Her last thoughts were 'Thanks, Kaede for the numbing potion. Sorry I had to trick you and say I wanted it just in case someone got hurt. Heh, guess I'm the only hurting one here, so I guess it wasn't all a lie unlike Inuyasha's feelings for me….'

Sometime later

"So this is what death is like. Hmm, interesting. Not at all what I thought it was going to be like." Kagome mumbled, searching all around her. She found herself floating in the dark, not really sure of where she was. Kagome just floated around for awhile, rather liking the relaxing sensation, when she became aware a slight sting on her cheek. 'How odd. It feels like someone slapped me.' She thought as she rubbed the spot. The miko ignored it, but she discovered it hard to do when a faint voice, a kind of bored sounding one at that, was whispering your name. Kagome closed her eyes tightly, wishing she just be left alone for once, alone to thoroughly enjoy her death, never having to deal with snotty Kikyo or Bipolar Inuyasha.

But, of course, all good things must come to end sooner or later. In this case, it was the number potion. Or so Kagome thought. Eyes still firmly shut, she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen area as if she'd been stabbed. 'No! Crud. I thought the mixture would last a little longer than this.' She wrenched her eyes open to find the living world again, no longer in any pain whatsoever (except her heart, but that was something not even an enchanted fang could heal). "Who…wha…?" She glanced all around her, noticing her sword was lying on the ground to her left, finally coming to a stop on a pair of beautiful golden eyes. The calm gold eyes locked onto her own troubled brown ones.

The young woman immediately closed her eyes once more, not wanting to look at Inuyasha. 'Dang! I kill myself to get away from him in particular and he freaking brings me back! Wait…only Sesshomaru can bring people back to life…' Said Lord of the Western Lands tucked away Tenseiga, rolled his eyes, and let out a sigh, loud and haughtily. 'Stupid humans. Slap them or shout their name to awaken them and they ignore you. Bring them back to the living realm again to interrogate them as to why they are in the middle of a forest, dead and alone, and they shut their eyes, trying to pretend you don't exist.'

Having reached the conclusion that it was in fact Sesshomaru standing over her and probably wasn't going to hurt her, she squinted up at him and murmured, "Umm…is there something you want, Sesshomaru-sama?" Kagome had decided to add the 'sama' for respect, hoping this would please him enough to answer her and be on his way so she could return to the only place she had ever been truly happy (Death). Other than that simple question, she was really unsure of what else to say to her ex-sweetheart's mortal enemy/ half-brother.

"Nothing other than enlightenment as to why you were in the woods, miles away from my worthless hanyou-for-a-brother, lying in a puddle of your own blood, dead and maybe as to why I should have even bothered to revive you." Sesshomaru drawled out slowly, watching her expression change from wariness to a determined calm with a cold indifference. After all, what did it matter to him if Inuyasha's wench was unhappy enough with her life to end it abruptly? 'Then why did you feel the urge to rush to her side as soon as you could when you caught scent of her blood in the wind?' The nagging voice in his head had a point. 'Oh do bugger off., you annoying, little conscience voice.' He snapped back.

Squaring her shoulders, determined not to break down on Sesshomaru, the King of Cool, Kagome looked at him straight in the eyes and replied, "Not that it's really any of your concern of what I do and what I don't do, I decided to end my life so I'd never have to bother with this world, Inuyasha, Kikyo, Naraku, or the freaking Shikon Jewel ever again. But thanks to you, my peace was disturbed." Sesshomaru fairly chuckled at the woman in front of him. "Oh, I get it. The journey to collect the jewel fragments has become too burdensome so you're just going to quit? Is that correct?" He mocked her.

Calm surface slipping to give way to indignation, Kagome felt the anger boiling up inside. "No, that's not it, you pompous jerk. You just don't get it, having the perfect and calm life you do. Inuyasha has put me through Hell and back, but I've faithfully stuck by him and cared for him even when times were hard." She felt a tear run down the side of her face. "Kikyo has tried to kill me, steal my soul, and take the one man I've ever loved." More tears started following the first. "Naraku has had us following him all over Japan, fighting his God forsaken offspring or incarnations, whatever you want to call them, just to get his piece of the Jewel." A steady stream was running down her face. "And if all that wasn't bad enough, our group has only, like, 4 shards after all this time I've been here, selflessly sacrificing my education to help people from another time! I'M SICK OF IT! So don't give me the crap, Sesshomaru! I REALLY DON'T NEED IT RIGHT NOW!" There, she said it.

Sesshomaru took an involuntary step back from the distressed girl. The scent of despair she was radiating was overwhelming his delicate senses and breaking his seemingly cold heart. He didn't think he could stay around her much longer if she didn't calm down. Trying to keep his voice steady and soothing, he responded, "Well, wench, why don't you tell me all about this life of yours I don't understand, as you put it." He sat down on the grass next to her, careful not to sit in the blood that littered the ground or the sword and gently wiped the tears off her face.

'I don't know. Should I really tell him? Well, I guess after the performance I just gave him, I owe him the truth. After all, what have I got left to lose?' She took a deep breath and began her story, "Well, you see Sesshomaru, it all started 500 years in the future, my time, when I went into the shrine before school, a place where we learn stuff, and I was standing in front of the Bone Eater's Well….."

(A/N:)Hey everyone! I'm sure you won't but I hope you like my story! R&R!