A/N This is my first fanfic I'm posting here I have to get used to this website :D Sry if it's a bit ooc. And huge sorry for my grammar. English isn't my native language. I only write fanfics which are Donnie centric maybe sometimes Raph too. I hope that's okay I'm only creative with my favorite turtles :D I hope you like it^^
After a few days, since they defeated the mutated car and got a normal Donnie back, they were still worrying about him. Each day he seems more exhausted but he wouldn't admit that of course. "Donnie do you remember what happened when you were mutated into this Speed Demon", Mikey asked curious to start the topic once more. Casey, Leo and Raph were outside to train and April cooked dinner in the kitchen. Mikey and Donnie sat in the living room and watched Mikey's new favorite show.
Donnie rolled his eyes: "Mikey how often do you want to start this? This is the fourth time since it happened. I told you I weren't aware of anything. When I turned back it was like I awoke from sleep. I can only remember my fear when this car got me. And it felt painful. But no worries the pain stopped fast and I was surrounded by darkness." "And you feel fine now…?" , Mikey asked cautious. "How often do I have to repeat myself? I feel fine okay? And that isn't changing each day you ask me. Could you please stop worrying already?", Donnie huffed annoyed. "Geez sorry that I wanted to know how you are doing", Mikey said and turned back to the TV. Immediately Donnie felt guilty for being so impolite. "I'm sorry Mikey…You really don't have to worry", Donnie sighed. Mikey took a side glance at his older brother and saw the defeated look in his eyes. "It's alright. But I can't help but worrying about you D. You look so exhausted and pale too", Mikey whispered. Donnie shrugged: "You shouldn't focus on me right now. We have to leave here soon. You all better focus on getting home." "But getting home isn't more important than your health. Besides we all agreed on this…Home is where we are together right?", Mikey smiled. But he frowned when Donnie didn't respond.
Mikey looked closely at Donnie. His brother stared concentrated at the ground and didn't seem aware of his surroundings anymore. "Donnie?", Mikey asked quietly. No response. "Donnie?", Mikey asked louder. His brother remained quiet. "Donnie answer me!", Mikey raised his voice a little. Donnie stand slowly up but said nothing. Mikey grabbed his wrist and didn't let go. He was a bit surprised at how fragile Donnie's wrist felt. "Did you eat properly in the last week?", Mikey asked concerned. He didn't really expect an answer. "Let me go", Donnie said tiredly. "No Donnie you have to answer me first", Mikey insisted." Mikey please…let me g-go. I don't feel well okay?", Donnie stuttered a little. Taken aback from his sudden confession Mikey let Donnie's wrist go.
Donnie wanted to leave the living room but he stumbled because his legs gave in and he fell to the ground. He hadn't the strength to stand up again and he felt how his surroundings began to spin. He gave Mikey an apologetic look before he drifted into unconsciousness. " DONNIE?", Mikey shouted appalled. He run to his brothers side and tried to shake him awake. "What's the matter Mikey?", April asked. She had heard Mikey's loud shout and went to the living room immediately. When she saw the cause of Mikey's distress she ran to the unconscious Donnie and fell shocked to her knees. "What happened to him Mikey?", April asked with a scared voice. "He didn't answer me and then he suddenly admitted that he isn't feeling well. He wanted to leave the living room but he collapsed", Mikey explained the short version, leaving out the details. "We better get him in a bed. Get the others", April ordered. Mikey nodded and ran outside.
"Guys hurry Donnie is unconscious and we have to carry him into his bed!", Mikey shouted while running towards the others. Leo and Raph stopped their sparring match and stared at Mikey. " What happened?", Casey asked. "No time for long explanations now. C'mon!", Mikey pushed Raph and Leo and ran back into the house. The three others ran after him. Their eyes went wide when they saw Donnie lying on the floor of the living room. "Oh my…He looks so pale", Raph said shocked.
He and Casey wasted no time in helping Mikey to carry Donnie to his bedroom. Leo got a wet washcloth and laid it on Donnie's forehead. Mikey covered Don with a blanket. April finished cooking dinner for all of them and gave everyone a plate with food. But they didn't eat much because they were too worried about Donnie. Everyone expect for Raph and Leo left the bedroom eventually to go to sleep. "You should get some sleep too Raph", Leo whispered. Raph looked like he wanted to complain but he saw the stern look in Leo's eyes and went without a word into his own bedroom.
Leo sat on the bed and eyed Donnie worried. He felt his younger brother's forehead to insure that he hadn't develop a fever. His forehead wasn't too warm and Leo nodded in relief. " Oh Donnie what happened?", Leo asked in the silence. He watched several hours over his brother's unconscious form and was about to fall asleep when Donnie stirred. Immediately Leo was fully awake. "Donnie?", Leo asked awaiting. "Hmh", his brother mumbled in response. Leo hugged Donnie relieved. "What happened?", Donnie asked groggily." I was hoping that you would answer me that question", Leo said. Donnie seemed to remember something and blushed slightly. "Nothing to worry about", Donnie brushed it off and tried to come out of bed. Leo was slightly annoyed by the 'do not worry I'm fine' part. He pushed his brother firmly back. "What do you think you are doing? You were unconscious and just woke up. You should rest in bed for at least a few more hours", Leo said with his big brother voice.
"I'm fine", Donnie mumbled. "Dammit Donnie! You are everything else but not fine. Stop it already and tell me the truth", Leo said losing his patience. Donnie stared at the ceiling and ignored his brother. "Donnie stop it! Tell me already what's wrong", Leo growled. He looked surprised when he saw tears in the corners of Donnie's eyes. "I'm sorry", was the only thing Donnie said. " What are you apologizing for? And why are you crying?", Leo asked concerned and wiped with his thumb Donnie's tears away. "…for being a burden", Donnie murmured. Leo looked shocked in his eyes. "Donnie what are you saying? You aren't a burden!", Leo said. " Stop lying Leo. It's all my fault that you got hurt in New York but you weren't mad. And now I'm the one you are worrying about. I don't deserve such great brothers and friends", Donnie sobbed. He hide his face in his hands.
"Donnie it wasn't your fault. Nobody blames you. And we all are family. That's what family is for. We want you to be alright", Leo said fondly. Leo wanted to comfort Donnie but Donnie pushed his arm away. "If I hadn't argued with you this wouldn't have happened. I'm no good for you. And then this mutated car got me and after that I couldn't sleep anymore because I was haunted my nightmares...But that is what I deserve anyway. A-a-and I didn't eat very much because I thought it was no use anyway. I mean when I'm gone everything will be easier for you right?", Donnie said with a watery smile. Leo couldn't believe what he was hearing. He shook Donnie and nearly shouted in his face: NO DONNIE NOTHING WOULD BE EASIER. STOP THINKING SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS. WE LOVE YOU AND WE DON'T WANT YOU TO SUFFER. I WOULD DIE FOR YOU. EVERYONE NEEDS YOU DONNIE OKAY?" "Really?", Donnie asked weakly. "Yes we do. Without you we would fall apart", Leo said and hugged Donnie as tightly as he could. Donnie hugged back and hide his face in Leo's chest. "Now sleep. I will wait here until you wake up", Leo whispered. "I love you guys more than anything in the world", Donnie mumbled sleepy. "And we love you as much as you do", Leo smiled and covered Donnie with his blanket. Donnie was fast asleep feeling much better than he had in months with the guilt washed away and the knowledge that he still was loved.