This is in no way connected to the writers or anyone to do with svu but is my own twisted minds attempt at fan fiction enjoy

Rollins Demons

Chapter 1

Rollins looked out at the New York grey skyline resting her head on the window pane, the coolness of the glass was a welcome intrusion into the thoughts spiralling around in her head. The rain bounced off the window sill and she watched intently at the erythematic beat, trying to lose herself in its calmness.

Her reprieve didn't last long and she hugged herself tightly and closed her eyes. Her mind replayed the scene in her sergeant's office, 'he raped me', was that her voice? It was barely a whisper, but she knew she had actually spoken the words when Olivia's head snapped round to look at her and Dodds went suddenly quiet. Her supressed demons had finally raised their ugly heads and every emotion she had tried hard to bury had resurfaced.

Chief Pattern the rapist in uniform, another woman had come forward and accused him of raping her, and Rollins knew it was true, for the man she use to look upon as a father figure had assaulted her also.

She was a wet nosed rookie at the time hungry with ambition, and he had seen that, had used her eagerness, ''you can come to me anytime Amanda, talk to me about anything, I know you will go far with a little help from someone like me" he had said to her resting his hands gently on her shoulders, and she had fell for it hook line and sinker, what a naïve fool she was, thinking that he would help her in her career and want nothing in return.

She shook herself out of her thoughts and picked up some paperwork hoping she could lose herself in the pages of work she had brought home, she swallowed back the tears that threatened to fall "You damn stupid fool" she said aloud.

Olivia sat in her office long after everyone else had gone home chewing the tip of her pen. Rollins confession had hit her like a ton of bricks, she faced this type of crime everyday but when it's one of your own well it becomes more personal. God she knew she hadn't always seen eye to eye with the girl, had even questioned herself on keeping her on when she had got into her last stint of trouble, trouble that could of cost her her badge, I'm going to try hard to regain your trust sergeant' she had said. Now everything was falling into place Rollins drinking, gambling etc were all coping mechanisms for what that animal had put her through. The look on her face was etched into Bensons mind, fear, shame, guilt causing a contortion of pain to show through. The Chief eh, one of the big guys, well with Rollins help she was going to make sure that he got what he had coming.

Benson threw her pen down on the desk and wearily got up from her chair, she had to get home to Noah, the one person who she loved without reservation and who loved her back unconditionally, her son, her solace.

CHAPTER 2

Rollins had sat in the chair all night trying to block out the memories of what had happened six years ago, but her mind had other ideas and played the scene over and over again like the re-run of an old movie.

"Chief Patterson what are you doing here, is there something wrong"?
"No No, I hope you don't mind I got your address from your files and I wanted to tell you first hand there is a position up for grabs, promotion, more money and I think you should apply".

A Promotion? I don't understand I didn't think I would be inline for promotion I've not been at the department long enough, what position"? Rollins asked as she invited him in.
Patterson put his hands out, "woah not so fast you not gonna offer the bearer of good news a drink first"?
"Sure, erm sorry would you like coffee".
"Have you got something a little stronger"? he asked, "been one hell of a day". "I think I have some Bourbon here somewhere" she said walking into the kitchen. She found the half empty bottle at the back of the cupboard and poured a glass, she turned to take in the drink and almost bumped into him, he was right behind her. She jumped and a little of the drink splashed on her hand and she licked the liquid off.

Patterson focused on her tongue, she felt his stare and the Kitchen suddenly felt claustrophobic. "Shall we sit down"? she asked, nodding her head in the direction of the living room.
"Sure he said and followed her to the sofa where he sat next to her, a little too close she thought as she tried to shift a little further away.

He didn't seem to be in any rush to explain what he wanted so Rollins broke the silence. "So whats this promotion all about"?
"Ah yes, you know Amanda I could help you a great deal in your carer, I can be a very good friend".
"Could you tell me what this is all about", it didn't feel right him using her first name it was a little too familiar, "I'm tired and have an early shift tomorrow".
Patterson lent forward and placed his empty glass on the coffee table, "It's not easy getting to the top, especially if your a woman", he said, "but friends" he continued, placing his hand on Rollins knee, "should help one another don't you agree Amanda".

Her apartment suddenly felt very small as she removed his hand "I prefer to achieve via my own merits" she said, "now if you don't mind it's late and I have too..."
Before she could finish her sentence she felt herself pulled roughly back onto the sofa.

"Now don't you be going all coy on me now, I don't like games, fluttering your eyelids at me in the office, and acting like a terrified virgin when I take you up on your invitation.

She pushed against his chest, could smell the Bourbon on his breath, and panic swelled in her chest. "Invitation", she repeated, "there was no invitation, you turned up here of your own accord, please Chief your hurting me". He gripped her chin and turned her head to put his tongue in her mouth, she thrashed with her arms and legs but he was too strong, her mind racing and fear pumping through her veins she bit down hard tasting his blood in her mouth as her teeth met.

"You bitch" he yelled "you filthy rotten slag". As he loosened his grip she jumped from the sofa and ran towards the bathroom, but he was there before her hand even touched the handle.

"So you like it rough you fucking tease", he lifted her effortlessly with one arm and carried her struggling towards her bedroom.
"No please Chief no", she cried as he threw her on the bed, but her tears were fruitless as he crushed her with the weight of his body.
She fought like a mad woman, but this just seemed to excite him further as his hand slowly traveled up her leg, finding her lace panties he groaned as he pushed them aside and forced his fingers inside her.

She felt the oxygen leave her lungs as the pain hit her, she punched at his chest but he just laughed and captured her wrist above her head with his free hand as the other hand violated her. When he removed his fingers she heard the sound of his zip and used every ounce of energy she had to try and get free, but he held her down as if she were a rag doll, she felt him shake his trousers off, she tried to scream but he just punished her mouth with his causing her teeth to cut through her lips.

She felt his hardness against her leg and suddenly her mind shut down, she just felt numbness as he thrust himself into her without any mercy.
"You like that baby, does it feel good" he said as he hit harder and harder at her most vulnerable place. He pulled out suddenly and slammed her face down onto the mattress. "We don't want this hole to feel left out now do we honey", he whispered in her ear. The pain almost made her pass out as he took possession of a place no one had ever been.

After what seemed like eternity she heard his breath quicken as he finally released his seed inside her. She still lay face down on the bed the choking on the tears she cried.

She heard him dress, he came over and slapped her on the backside, "you got a tight little arse there girl". She flinched as she felt him touch her. "Now you know you wanted it so don't you go calling out rape", he said, "No one would believe you and you would be committing career suicide you hear me"?

Rollins laid in the same position for what seemed like ages, when she moved she buckled with the pain she was in and fell back on the bed. Getting under the covers she pulled them tightly around her and from nowhere came a scream of anguish as she buried he head into the pillow and sobbed until her eyes were so swollen she could barely open them.