John: dave?
Dave: yes egderp
John: why do you think the trolls use buckets?
Dave: i dunno man does it matter
John: i guess not.
John: ...
John: dave?
Dave: dude we were already talking
Dave: no need to make a stop off at another checkpoint
Dave: reaffirming our conversational flow with my name wont let you pass go
Dave: you dont get to collect 200 boonbucks
Dave: unless all that talking about buckets got you hot and bothered
Dave: and that "dave" was less of a question and more of a moan from your surely unadulterated pleasure
Dave: from thinking about alien sex
Dave: right next to your best bro
John: you are right Dave, you could not be righter.
John: i was thinking about the sex Dave, right next to you.
Dave: i dont blame you
Dave: with a body like mine who wouldn't be thinking about having the sex with me.
Dave: I bet youre thinking about winding me up
Dave: like an alarm clock
Dave: it will tick tick tick when suddenly oh no there it goes
Dave: ringing and going off like you wouldn't believe
Dave: And now youre awake from your nightmare stumbling out of bed and rushing to school
Dave: where you arrive in the hallway in only your underwear
Dave: the clock in this metaphor is obviously my penis
Dave: the school hallway is my bed
Dave: except you wont be wearing any underwear in my bed
John: disturbing clock dick metaphors aside, what do you think theirs look like?
Dave: their clocks
John: no!
John: ...their dicks
Dave: dude
John: i'm curious!
Dave: well why dont you just ask one of them?
Dave: you have a bromance with the blue psychopathic spider chick right
John: vriska?
John: i don't know...do the girls even have dicks?
Dave: i dunno maybe
Dave: maybe instead they just have swirling black voids down there
John: dave!
Dave: ready to swallow your pubescent schlong like a cheeto going up a vacuum cleaner
John: it is so not a cheeto!
Dave: oh im sorry dude
Dave: were my snack food comparisons to little john making you feel inadequate
John: no!
John: it is just definitely MUCH bigger than that.
Dave: are we talking about your dick size now egbert
Dave: should i bring out the tape measure
Dave: or do you have one of your own on hand
Dave: ready to greet you in the morning
Dave: with disappointment
John: dude there is no disappointment involved in my dick measuring.
John: only high fives.
John: and amazement.
John: because it is amazing!
Dave: yeah im sure your baloney pony is real impressive
Dave: i cant wait to get my mack on
Dave: better break out the forks its time for breakfast
Dave: were having johns man sausage
John: can we not talk about forks around my man sausage?
John: and anyway, they can't be that different right?
Dave: dude are you still on the lady dick thing?
John: uh, yeah?
John: aren't you even a little bit curious?
John: I mean you have a thing with Terezi right?
Dave: yeah so?
John: soooooooo what if you get down to business-
Dave: to defeat the huns
John: get down to business!
John: and there's something weird down there.
Dave: john what exactly do you think these ladies are harbouring in their panties?
Dave: what kind of illegal contraband do you think they could possibly be housing in their underwear?
John: hehe, I'll show you illegal contraband in underwear
Dave: john
Dave: do not talk to me about your penis
Dave: why would you do that john
John: you were literally just talking about it!
Dave: do you think your father is proud of you john
John: Daaave!
Dave: for forcing imagery of your surely immaculate love muscle onto an innocent boy
John: you're right
John: i am so ashamed
Dave: good john you should be ashamed
John: i am Dave. i have all the shame.
Dave: so can we stop talking about lady dong now and actually get some fucking sleep?
Dave: Or is my best bro going to make me listen to him talk about dicks more
John: fiiiiiiiine we can go to sleep. i'll just die drowning in curiousity.
Dave: I'll make sure to put you in a real pretty dress for your funeral.
John: wow Dave, thank you. you are the best.
Dave: i know
Dave: i am aware of my bestness
John: hehe, goodnight Dave!
Dave: night egderp.
John:...
John:...
John:...
John: hey dave?
Dave: what
John: what if it's like a mop down there? the whole bucket thingwould make sense then.
Dave: you know what John it probably is
Dave: it is a wet soapy mop and it is dripping just for you
Dave: oh do you hear that
Dave: that obviously sexual plip plap noise
Dave: its the mop in your girlfriends pants
Dave: dripping into a love bucket
Dave: are you aroused yet john?
John: i don't think you're taking this seriously.