Of Hydrangeas

The hydrangeas were blooming in every corner. Hues of blue, purple and violet blurred together, each petal of the flower a myriad of colours. Ren lightly touched one of them, handling them as if he was handling the most important artefact in the world.

Carefully, he plucked a flower. It was smaller than a rose but bigger than an ixora. Upon close inspection, Ren could make out swirling patterns of blue and lavender on the petal. He twirled the flower in his hand. It may look fragile, but it was very strong indeed.

It reminded Ren greatly of him.

~.~.~.~

Winter was going away and spring was arriving slowly that year. The school had been closed down for some time due to a freak storm so the classes were still slow and relaxed. The principal, the teachers, the students, they were all still in a holiday mode. This was especially true for Ren, who wanted to sleep more. He stifled a yawn in class. Ryuuga sensei would kill him if he caught a yawn. Ren twirled his pencil in his hand and stared at his empty notepad. Next to him, Tokiya was listening calmly while Shou who was sitting a few seats away was keeping his eyes glued to his idol, furiously scribbling notes.

Another stifled yawn. Seriously, Ryuuga sensei was still going on about some boring facts of acting. Why did they need to learn how to act? Ren wanted to play his sax and sing. But how was he going to do that? He needed his mouth for his sax. He needed his voice for his singing. He let out a soft sigh.

"Jinguji! Pay attention!" snapped Ryuuga sensei. All eyes turned to him.

"Yes, yes. I'll pay attention, sensei." said he in a bored tone.

Ryuuga sensei gave him a stern look and continued with his lesson.

Ren looked over Tokiya's head and a few others, out to the window at the end of the classroom, out to the world which was now painted in colour.

Spring is here.

~.~.~.~

The snow was still falling onto the ground during orientation day. It was actually less of an orientation. More like a welcome-back day held by the principal of Saotome Academy. Ren pulled his black scarf around him tighter when he came out of his limousine. It was friggin cold and he didn't like it a bit. He would have loved it if the sky had been brighter, the weather finer. Yet, he had to admit that the snowflakes were beautiful, each a pattern of its own. No two were alike. Perhaps that made them so special, yet their life so fleeting. He swept his eyes across the courtyard. A few students were already there, most heading directly towards the main building to warm themselves up. Hardly anyone stayed out in the freezing weather.

But there was a figure standing right smack in the middle of everything. His limousine pulled away, tires crunching on the gravel. From the silhouette of the figure, he could easily make out who it was. Soft shiny blue hair and skin so pale that it blended in with the falling snow. The figure was looking up at the sky. Ren looked up too, but saw nothing. He smiled to himself. That person was always a bit of a daydreamer.

Ren walked up to him, black boots hitting the snow. "Yo, Masato." Sapphire eyes met with bright purplish-blue ones.

The youth named Masato gave a barely seen smile when he saw an orange haired Rin. "Good morning."

"What are you looking at?" inquired Ren as he bent down to Masato's height and looked up at the grey sky with an amused look on his face.

There was a pause. "Snowflakes." replied Masato with a certain wistfulness in his voice.

Funny, that they were looking at the same thing. The bluenette was so close to him that he could feel his breath. Compared to Ren who had on a thick sandy coat and scarf, Masato only had on a dark blue jacket and a pair of thin black gloves. Growing cold, Masato pulled up his collar and blew his hot breath into his hands and hid them under his armpits.

Ren grabbed Masato gently and enveloped him in a hug, attempting to warm him up. "Are you crazy? Wear more layers of clothing if you're going out in this weather." A look of worry was on the tanned face.

Masato gave an innocent smile as he looked at Ren. "Isn't this much better than thick clothing?"

Ren couldn't help but smile back. "Seriously, what am I going to do with you?" he sighed.

Masato buried himself deeper into Ren's arms, craving the warmth. Both of them just stood there, two lone figures entwined, in a flurry of snow.

~.~.~.~

Class wasn't over, but Ren had a free period. He stretched his long arms. Boy, did he feel tired. When he turned to ask Tokiya about the previous lesson, he was met with nothing but air. He must've headed off to the library again. Shou was lying face-down on his desk when Ren walked over, clearly asleep. He found it amusing that the strawberry blonde was drooling in his sleep. If only Natsuki could see this sight. Why not? Natsuki and Otoya and... Masato. Ren shook his head. Somehow, thoughts of Masato always manage to creep into his mind when he leasts expects them. He ruffled Shou's hair and left the classroom.

Outside, the weather was great. The sky was a bit cloudy and the air was cool and refreshing. Sunlight came down in shafts through the moving clouds. Buds were starting to bloom on the bare branches of the trees. Grass seemed greener, trees looked taller, everything felt cleaner. The effect of spring was somewhat cleansing and pure. Ren strolled through the garden, taking in all the sights. A bluebird came to rest on a bare branch, chirping a song.

~.~.~.~

"Looking up at the sky again?" asked Ren as he came to meet up with Masato in the school garden.

Masato was seated on a wooden bench, looking upwards again. He looked so innocent and pure, a child full of curiosity. His purplish-blue eyes were calm and still as water, fixed on one point. "A bluebird." whispered Masato as he lightly jerked his chin in the bird's direction, afraid that it would fly away if any of them made any sudden movements.

At the sight of the little animal, Ren moved deliberately slowly and carefully under the amused gaze of his childhood friend and lover. He came to sit down beside the bluenette as the both looked at the little bluebird, listening to it chirp its song. Masato linked their hands together and Ren squeezed tightly in return.

After a while, the bird decided that it was enough, spread its wings and flew away. Masato stared at the vacant spot. Ren did not know what at the time, but he felt something was off with his partner. "Masato, are you okay?"

Masato continued to stare. Ren noticed that his eyes were different. Usually, they would be bright and curious, but right now they had a dull and sad look in them. Letting go of their linked hands, Masato got up and walked over to where the hydrangeas were. Ren followed suit. "These are my favourite flowers you know." muttered Masato in a barely audible voice.

"Yeah, I know." replied Ren in an equally soft voice. "Blue was always your favourite colour, in contrast with everything else. Heck, you really are lucky to be born with blue hair and eyes."

Masato let out a small laugh. He always looked charming when he laughed. "That's true." He turned to face Ren and cupped his face in his hands. "But I could always look at your eyes if I didn't have blue eyes."

Ren took Masato's hand. "Masato, what's wrong?" Masato's smile dropped. He held Masato's hands tightly in his own. "It's okay. You can tell me anything."

Masato opened his mouth as if to say something, but quickly closed it again. He shook his head, making his bangs fall to his eyes. "It's nothing, Ren."

Ren wanted to press on, but the sad look in Masato's eyes stopped him. He sighed a little and kissed Masato, long and passionate. He pushed the bangs out of his eyes. "Tell me whenever you feel ready to, okay?"

Masato gave a weak nod. "Okay."

~.~.~.~

The bluebird flew away. Ren walked over to where the hydrangeas were blooming at their fullest. He faced them straight on. His hand hovered over the delicate flowers, brushing them.

Masato, his friend, his confidant, his partner, his wingman, his lover, his person, died a year ago. Leukaemia. Cancer. No cure. Minimal treatment. No hope. Death.

But Masato was strong until the end. Ren and the rest of their friends didn't find out a thing about his illness until it became to serious for him to bear, until Masato had to be admitted into a hospital. And even then he remained strong. He smiled at Ren, talked with him, telling him that he was okay when he clearly was not. Masato remained strong, so the least Ren could do was be strong for him too.

The funeral was a quiet one, a few words exchanged here and there, the Hijirikawa family in deep sorrow, friends and associates gathered. Haruka, Tomo, Tokiya, Otoya, Natsuki, Shou and of course, himself. Even Ryuuga and Ringo sensei were present. They were all there, sending their friend off on his final journey. On his coffin and grave, there lay bunches of white lilies. Pure and white and sad. Ren was the last one to go back. He had left a bouquet of purplish-blue hydrangeas at the foot of the grave.

Ren looked back at that moment, wishing that he had pressed Masato for information. He wished that Masato had told him. He wished that he could turn back time and fix everything.

But he couldn't. He knew that. He knew that Masato would be telling him off right now, telling him to move on to the future. He took a whiff of the hydrangeas and smiled sadly to himself.

How could he move on?