First things first. And this is what happens when I am on one of my (sad) moods.
I DON'T OWN SUPERNATURAL! ALL RIGHTS BELONGS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS OF THE SHOW!
And this song was also a huge inspiration to write this:
watch?v=nn-SLivtGxk Hope you like it :)
And again i am so very sorry for grammer/spelling mistakes.
Don't forget: My first language isn't english.
Tears of a hunter
"Dean? Dean! Where are you?"
For some time the angel Castiel walked through the ongoing and increasingly strong rain.
A thunderstorm had started just after Dean had furiously run out of the motel room and had driven away in his Impala.
There had been a dispute between the Winchester brothers yet again and the escalation of this dispute had not taken long and before literally blood could flow, Dean had unceremoniously run away.
And now Castiel looked for him, as he slowly began to worry about his best friend.
Sam had calmed down and the young hunter had already called several times on Dean's cell phone, but so far without success. Therefore, the angel had decided to look for the older hunter while Sam remained at the motel and kept trying to contact him on his cell phone.
How long Castiel already ran through the rain he did not know.
His clothes were wet and clung like a second skin to his human vessel.
His hair stuck to his face and raindrops robbed him of the sight as they ran into his eyes.
But he bravely ran on, pushed his way through the forest, which he had reached a few minutes ago. Dean's black Impala had stood at the edge of a small forest road and the angel had followed the small, muddy path immediately.
"Dean! Please, answer me! Where are you?"
But still there was no answer.
Only the patter of the rain that hit the leaves of the trees and the ground, were the only sounds that accompanied Castiel that night. Less than an hour, the sun had set and the Warrior of God had become even more worried. Demons hovered around in the shadows. Demons who had instructions to kill the Winchester brothers...
Goosebumps came over the angel at such dark thoughts and involuntarily he ran faster.
He opened his mouth to call again for his friend, but before a word left his throat, he stopped.
Before him, a man sat on the edge of a small creek.
The clothes were soaking wet and full of mud, but that did not seem to bother him.
He sat with his back to the angel who slowed down some steps and dared to approach him, careful not to startle him as he did so.
"Dean?"
A rumble of thunder sounded and Castiel's words almost went under in it.
A lightning flashed shortly after through the clouds in the sky, lit up the environment for some tiny little moments and at that moment a face turned in Castiel's direction and the angel almost winced at the sight.
Dean looked at him blankly.
Again, lightning flashed through the clouds, was reflected in the green eyes of the hunter, which had lost their usual sparkle. Depth rings were visible under his eyes and they were red. Here and there a small water drop ran down his cheeks, which had nothing to do with the ongoing and increasingly strong rain. No. These were real tears. Tears of a man who could not be more desperate.
"Dean?"
Once again, Castiel tried it, but the hunter stared at him silently.
Carefully the angel started to move into his direction again, considered not to move too fast. As he stood next to the human, he slowly sank to the bottom, until he was sitting next to him.
"Dean? Can you hear me?"
The words were almost gone under in a renewed thunder, but this time the man responded, as he looked at his best friend. And Castiel's heart almost broke.
He had never seen Dean like this before.
So weak. So desperate. So...broken...
"Cas?"
It was only a whisper that left Dean's lips, but the angel had heard it anyway.
"Yes Dean. I'm here. It's alright."
The words sounded calm, comforting, but they did not help, because Castiel saw how the eyes of the human filled with hot tears yet again.
"Please. Don't cry."
But Dean didn't care, because in the next instant he turned his face to the side, away from the angel. He did not want Cas to see it. He did not want him to see how weak he really was. How useless and pathetic...
He winced when a warm hand was placed on his shoulder and gently squeezed it and he dared but to turn back his head again.
Castiel looked at him as gently as he had squeezed his shoulder and only this sight made even more tears to run over Dean's cheeks.
"This isn't because of the dispute between you and Sam, isn't it?"
A shake of the head was the only answer Castiel got.
"What is it then?"
Silence returned, which was broken only here and there by a thunderbolt.
"Dean. Please. Talk to me. What's wrong with you? I've never seen you like this before."
"Do you really want to have an answer to that question?"
And now Castiel winced as he could practically feel the desperation in the voice of the human. Nevertheless, he remained steadfast and he slowly moved a little closer to the hunter who tried to stop his tears meanwhile. He did not want to sit there and cry like a little baby. Especially not in front of an angel.
That was just too much of shame and disgrace...
But Castiel remained stubborn and he overcame even the last bit of distance and he pulled Dean unceremoniously on his side, forcing the hunter to lay his head on his shoulder. He gently brushed his hand across his back, feeling the muscles tensed beneath the thin fabric of his T-shirt as his body tensed up.
"Cas! Stop that!"
But Castiel didn't stop. He didn't even look at him. He stared into the seemingly endless darkness that stretched before them, listening to the rain, the whispering wind...
"I'm serious Castiel! Stop it!"
But he still did not stop...
"I want to know what's wrong with you Dean. Please. Tell me. It makes me almost afraid to see you like this."
Dean gave up his attempts to free himself. A deep sigh left his throat, and he let his head fall back against the shoulder of the angel and closed his eyes.
"I can't do that Cas. Lucifer. The Apocalypse. This is too much for me. And then I have to protect my little brother from all of that as well..."
"You have protected your brother your whole life Dean, just as he protected you. You're not alone, because you also have Bobby and me by your side. We will not stand idly by while watching how this world goes up in flames. Together we will find a way to stop Lucifer. Have trust Dean."
"There is no hope Cas. We can't win this war. This is too big for us. My father once told me that I should protect Sammy and if I can no longer protect him, then I should kill him. I can neither the one nor the other."
"I understand that Dean. He's your brother and your family. But don't give up now... Running away is not a solution..."
"I'm not running away Cas. I'm here because I wanted to say "Yes"..."
Dean's words were almost lost in the increasingly loud storm and thunder.
Castiel needed a moment before he had registered the spoken words.
"You...you wanted to say "yes"? To Michael?"
A nod was the only answer and the hunter did not dare to look at him.
Castiel gently turned Dean's head in his direction and forced him to look at him.
"Tell me that's not true Dean!"
"It is true Cas. I wanted to say "yes". What do I have to lose? Azazel took my mother and my father and Lucifer, the King of Hell is just going to take away my brother and thus the last part of my family. There is no other way Cas. Either I say "yes" to Michael and finish it before Lucifer get his hands on my brother or I refuse him further and be responsible for the end of the world and the death of my brother. There's no other way..."
"There's always another way Dean!"
The hunter winced when the angel had raised his voice above the storm and wouldn't he continue holding him, Dean would have gone on distance.
"Cas, I -"
"No, Dean! Stop it! Stop talking!"
The hunter winced again as Cas wiped his tears away with his thumbs and then immediately pressed him against his body yet again, hugging him. In another situation, Dean would have pushed him away, yelling at him he should go on distance. But not that night. He didn't even dare to talk to Castiel again now.
"There's always another way..."
Castiel's words were like a whisper, but the hunter had heard them.
He closed his eyes, felt tears stole into his eyes again and this time he let them.
"Shhh. It will be all right Dean. Let's go back. Your brother gets terribly worried about you and I do it too if you stay here in the cold any longer."
Cas leaned back slightly and gave Dean a warm smile, as he raised his head and looked at him.
"Let me bring you back. You take a nice warm shower, eat something and together we will come up with a plan to defeat Lucifer. You are not alone and never will be. Not as long as I, Sam and Bobby are still alive."
The words were followed by dark shadows that slowly spread out behind Castiel's back as he manifested his wings and used them to protect Dean from the rain.
Involuntarily Dean's mouth twitched upwards a bit by these gentle words and the friendly gesture and he felt the tears slowly began to dry up.
Castiel was right.
He was not alone in this fight.
He had him. He had his brother and he had Bobby and he knew that they would go to hell and back again for him.
And he would do the same for them because they were one family and a family would stick together until the bitter end...
The End