She's going to be five in two days time or as her mama says, she's going to be a big girl and it makes Santana all sorts of giddy exited because she wants to be a big girl and go to big school and just generally be one step closer to being an adult. There's a downside to being a big girl, and that's because she has to act like one. In two days time holding a tea party with stuffed bears will simply not be cool, so she knows she has to use the two days wisely.
Yesterday she spent it colouring in without taking any notice of the lines simply because she could and today she's going to hold the grandest of tea parties, for her favourite stuffed animals. Tomorrow when she's five she totally plans on sassing her mom because big girls can do that.
She spreads the chequered blanket at the very end of the garden away from her mother's watchful eyes, because it's a party for special people, of which her mother most defiantly isn't. Everything's spread out nice and neatly when a figure approaches. She's tall and blonde and Santana is actually in awe of her, she's sort of like a ghost or an angel, most defiantly an angel. Santana thinks it would be so totally cool if an angel could come to her party, so when the blonde sits down amongst the animals Santana is presenting her with a cup and a role as a queen. She finds it highly amusing when the blonde puts on an accent that she will later remember as British.
When Santana turns around to shout at her mom the blonde angel disappears just as suddenly as she reappeared.
Maybe she would spend the rest of her life looking for that angel.
She meets the angel a few months later, although she has no idea that they are one and the same. It's a normal sort of day except there's a new kid in class, a ditzy blonde who's as quick to cry as she is to say the strangest things. Still there's something about her that draws her to Santana, and when Zizes picks on the blonde for something Santana's oh so very quick to show Lauren how it's done in Lima Heights. Brittany's her best friend after that.
Santana soon discovers that there's something even stranger about Brittany than the random comments, or strange way in which she views the world. Sometimes Brittany will be there one minute and gone the next and sometimes she will be gone for hours other times entire days always returning tired. She never tells Santana where she goes but at five years old she's not really bothered about anything other than sandpits and tag, and those unicorns that Brittany swears are real.
Things don't change much as they get older, Brittney is still prone to random disappearances and periods of confusion where she's not sure of anything, but Santana is always there by her side even if Brittany won't tell her what's wrong.
She's fifteen when Brittany disappears for over a month, and she spends most of that time begging and pleading with the Pierce's to do something about it. When they refuse, Santana goes to the police herself and she puts fliers up anywhere she can get them because she's genuinely worried about Brittany and her parent's obvious indifference. She's ready for her fifteenth bout of begging Brittany's folks when she spots a familiar person through the window.
She looks quite a bit older and she's dressed in a different style of clothing altogether but it's unmistakably Brittany and Santana is torn between happiness and confusion, because seriously why is Brittany looking the wrong side of twenty. It's when the light catches Brittany at a certain angle that Santana makes the connection between her and the angel when she was younger. She's more confused than ever because there is absolutely no explanation, save for Brittany actually being like Doctor Who, which is absolutely ridiculous.
She takes two steps back before she comes into contact with a warm body and jumps ten feet into the air, spare posters collecting on the ground. She's about to lay into whoever is behind her when her eyes catch sight of Brittany, looking exactly like before only without any clothes. The blush that finds its way to Santana's cheeks are not because it's the first time she's seen Brittany like this, but more like this is the first time she actually come into contact with her naked skin and it's making Santana feel things she really shouldn't. "I guess I have some explaining to do."
Turns out Santana wasn't far wrong with the whole Doctor Who time traveller thing, because as it turns out Brittany does travel through time only she can't control when she goes or where so goes. It's so farfetched that Santana shouldn't even believe it, but Brittany seems to genuinely think it's the case and Santana's seen evidence that can't be denied. She takes some time to think about it, but really nothing's changed except she has a deeper understanding of why her best friend is sometimes so strange. Maybe Santana loves her all the more for it.
Santana doesn't see Brittany for a few days after that and it's about two days too long, so with a couple of bottles of wine and a few DVD's Santana unsuccessfully tries to climb the tree into Brittany's room, before she has to give in and use the door. That's the night everything changes and Santana finds her new favourite way of getting her mack on. It's also when Brittany shows her just how skilled she can be in the bed department. It's the next morning when things change again, and it becomes Santana's mission to sleep with a different guy every week and Brittany goes through the entire school like the world was going to end.
There not dating, not exactly. There more like best friends with certain benefits, even if Santana thinks they could be so much more. But Santana doesn't do feelings and she freaks out more often than not, it sort of annoys her that Brittany deals with it all so calmly. Santana panics and heads straight to Puck, Brittany greets her the next morning like nothing's happened, but Santana see's the anticipation in her blue eyes, like she knows something and Santana thinks that maybe, just maybe there's hope for them yet
It's been two years and there still stuck in almost the same pattern. Granted things have changed because they've been through the whole cheerio's thing, that lasted for all of two months because Brittany maybe disappeared for a whole two days and missed one practice. Brittany was down for weeks after that and spent the majority of it travelling, she didn't cheer up until Santana came up with plan B and signed the two of them up for Glee club. It almost killed Santana to hand her resignation in to coach Sylvester because with a position on the squad came a whole host of perks, including power and respect and an immunity to patriotic wedgies and other uncomfortable things, while membership to the glee club is like a written invitation to be on the receiving end. Then Santana remembers she's doing it for Brittany because she loves to sing and she's an amazing dancer, and for Brittany she'd gladly take as many patriotic wedgies and dumpster trips as the underdeveloped apes can dish out, only she's confidant it won't happen because if anybody tries she's going to rip them a new one. When Karofsky tries to tip her into a dumpster he ends up in a great deal of pain and a probable inability to have kids.
When Brittany comes back from her latest trip Santana whisks her into the choir room to meet the most annoying bunch of people she's sure she's ever going to meet. Rachel Berry in particular really grates on Santana, and incredible voice or no Santana spends a great deal of time plotting her demise. But then Brittany's face lights up and she gets along so well with everybody that Santana would gladly spend the next five years locked in a room with Rachel berry if it kept the smile on Brittany's face, because there should always be either a smile or Santana on Brittany's face. Glee club turns out to be a blessing in disguise, because there a bunch of misfits and Brittany fits in perfectly, hell even Santana's found her place amongst them and they don't throw Brittany out when she misses the occasional practice.
By the time there final year comes the glee club are almost family, Brittany's even trusted them with her little secret and they still accept her anyway, and despite their unpopularity at school they've actually made nationals in New York. Santana's never been out of Lima and she's all sorts of crazy excited, Brittany keeps going on about how fun New York is and Santana drifts steadily of to sleep her hand clasped tightly by Brittany's. When Santana wakes up Brittany's seat is empty but there's a pile of clothes on the floor, Santana's heart sinks because it looks like she's not going to enjoy New York with Brittany.
When all the girls are packed into their hotel room Santana takes one of the beds and refuses to let anybody else take it because Brittany could be back at any time and Brittany's the only person who Santana can even contemplate sharing a bed with. When all the others are asleep and Santana's staring at the empty half of the bed she lets a couple of tears fall because she misses Brittany and there's all sorts of feelings Santana can't even put a name to. She's drifting off to sleep when somebody climbs in next to her and then suddenly she's not so tired anymore. Her eyes snap open and she prepares to push the person out of bed but the person has blonde hair and smells a little like strawberries and Santana knows it has to be Brittany. A smile finds its way to her face because she can actually share this experience with her Brittany; she's content when she drifts of to sleep.
When she wakes up its sort of clear that the Brittany that got in bed with her last night and the Brittany next to her are not one and the same. Last night Brittany was at least fully grown whereas this Brittany can't be more than seven years old, but she's adorable and wants nothing more than to spend the rest of the day with somebody she doesn't know.
It's certainly different spending the day with such a young Brittany even if there not too dissimilar. Its remarkable how much Brittany hasn't changed, when Santana's changed so much from the little kid who wasn't so scared to tell her best friend she loved her and mean it. Back then it was a different kind of love. But still. They spend hours moving from place to place because Brittany want's to see everything and everything's absolutely fascinating, the only time they stop is for an hour in Central Park because Brittany quite fancies an ice cream. When they get back to the hotel ten minutes after their curfew, even a lecture from Mr Schuester can't curb Santana's happy mood.
The others think she's been possessed or something, because they've never seen Santana so much as smile without Brittany there, and then they see the little girl behind her. The entire Glee club is just as taken with little Brittany as she is with them, and Santana can't help but be happy that she's the reason for it. Rachel's playing on the bed with Brittany when Mercedes leans over and demands to know just why Santana hasn't got her shit together yet. Santana doesn't answer, but as she watches the absolute innocence and love that is Brittany she can't help but wonder the same thing.
Little Brittany doesn't disappear until after they win nationals, but she's joined by another Brittany that's got to be knocking on forty who takes the empty position at nationals and sings and knocks out the choreography like she's only just learnt it. She's so graceful that if little Brittany hadn't helped Santana come to terms with her feelings, then this older Brittany would defiantly do the trick. Santana want's to spend the rest of her life with Brittany, she want's to share her life, she wants to share herself and it's exhilarating, because when she thinks about it she's always wanted this.
When Brittany returns it's there last day in New York and despite Brittany's protests at wanting to see the big apple something unexpected and so much better happens. Santana launches herself at Brittany, fastening their mouths together and all but shouting I love you. One of the pluses of being a time traveller is that the future is anything but a surprise bar a few important life changing details, and apparently the greatest moment of her life falls under that category, so Brittany is rather surprised, but so very very happy.
Their first date is the most nerve-racking moment in Santana's young life, it doesn't matter if they've done this thousands of times, this time its official, this time Brittany's her actual girlfriend. She's spent the better part of the day trying to find something to wear but she's failing miserably and she can't exactly call Brittany for fashion advice. The only other options are Berry, who dresses like an old lady and Tina who dresses like somebody's died. Of course there's Mercedes but she really doesn't fancy showing up to her first date looking like something out of a 50 Cent video.
She settles for the low cut black number that Brittany favours every time and spends even longer doing her hair and makeup than she did picking out her dress. Brittany's late by at least half an hour and Santana starts to worry that maybe she's gone again, it wouldn't surprise her because Brittany ironically has a terrible sense of time. Another half hour ticks by and Santana tries to ring, but there's no answer, when she rings Brittany's house phone Mrs Pierce confirms what she suspected, Brittany's gone. Santana sits and cries for a good fifteen minutes, because the disappointment is immense and frightening because disappointment is not a feeling she wants to associate with Brittany.
The ringing of the doorbell brings Santana out of her little crying fit, and surprisingly Brittany's stood there, three years younger than she should be and clad in an oversized men's t-shirt that had clearly been stolen from some poor persons washing line. Santana lets out a laugh because Brittany never disappoints, she always finds a way.
Before they can even think about going anywhere Santana bribes Brittany into changing, because a creased men's shirt isn't the best look for the sort of restaurant Santana had in mind. When Brittany is in one of Santana's longer dresses, she looks something like half decent, but the dress was always going to be too short because Brittany is heads taller than Santana and leaner too. But she looks hot and underage so Santana resists the urge to kiss her sort of girlfriend.
Dinners nice and filled with such inane conversation that maybe could be fascinating but Santana really want's it to be her Brittany so they can finish the date exactly how Santana had planned it, which she can't do in good conscious with an underage person, even if she is Brittany. She also thinks she understands Brittany's lack of tact when it came to their relationship, because Brittany's been dating Santana since she was fifteen.
When the date over Brittany doesn't say much, but leans in to meet Santana's kiss. The kiss never connects because Brittany's gone then leaving Santana rather frustrated. She goes straight to bed a little angry, because if they can't even get the first date right how are they going to get the rest of their life's right. Thinking when she's angry has never been a good thing for Santana to do, because the more she thinks the angrier she gets, and she shouldn't really be angry because Brittany turned up and it was a really lovely date. She can't quite admit it, but there's a feeling that she's angry because subconsciously she's looking for an excuse to bolt.
She buries her head in her pillow until a grunt and a weight presses on top of her. "I feel sick" and Brittany's off her and over to Santana's waist paper basket before she can even register another presence. She rubs Brittany's back as she dry heaves into the basket. When she finally calms down she buries her face into Santana's chest and mumbles "I'm sorry" until Santana brings her head up to finish off what younger Brittany started. Later on that night Santana gets her perfect ending to the date when Brittany carries her over to the bed sans clothes.
When Santana goes to college Brittany happily follows her, so they get a small apartment just of campus and Brittany manages to get herself a job in a dance studio with very flexible hours, while Santana settles in to her Business course. Life is less than idyllic, because there are two of them to feed plus rent and Brittany's the only one earning money, which isn't great because she keeps missing shifts with the travelling. So Santana picks up the shifts Brittany misses, and while it's hard to juggle college and a job she manages and the extra money comes in more than handy, plus Santana feels like she's pulling her weight. There a team, they've always been a team.
When Santana's 21st birthday comes around she tries her hardest to hide under the covers and away from any reminder of her sudden adulthood, even if she can now legally drink. Her phones been ringing off the hook, and there's been an endless stream of messages from Puck demanding that she come with him to this totally awesome bar. But Santana's not in the mood for celebrating. She hasn't seen Brittany all morning, and there tiny little is empty and cold, there's a distinct feeling that Brittany's gone travelling again which only adds to her mood.
It's around eleven when she hears the door slam shut, and padded feet heading towards Santana's cocoon of misery. The weight on the bed is familiar, and when the covers are pulled back Brittany's sat there, a little sweaty and mussed, but she's there. "Happy Birthday Sleepyhead. I had to pop out for an hour or so, are you ok, you look a little miserable" her voice seemed worried and her hand trailed along her forehead and down her nose before her lips pressed against Santana's. "Being 21 isn't that bad, I mean you can totally legally drink now." The inane babbling served its purpose and put the smile on Santana's face that should have been there since she first woke up.
After Brittany showed Santana just how happy a birthday it was going to be it was early in the afternoon, and the phone lay forgotten by the side of the bed. The two of them spent the rest of the day lazing around and doing whatever Santana wanted, so naturally the majority of the day was spent naked in each other's arms and in various different places, there might have been a movie or two in there but neither were paying it very much attention. When late afternoon hit and it was closer to six than it was five Brittany finally pulled away from Santana, who lay with a satisfied smirk on the couch. "Come on, time to get ready we've got reservations for half seven" with a grin she hoisted Santana off the couch and carried her into the shower. By the time they managed to get out of the shower they were five minutes late but couldn't find it within them to care.
By the time they got to Breadstix they were half an hour late for their reservation, and there table had been taken up by a mass of very familiar people. With College and each member occupying different states, glee club get togethers were few and far between, but here for Santana's 21st every single one had managed to make it, Kurt, Mercedes even Artie who had never really liked Santana had shown up. Perhaps most surprising was the inclusion of both her and Brittany's parents and Mr Schuester there old glee teacher.
It was such a surprise and Santana felt a tear work its way down her cheek, but she quickly disguised it and took her place in one of the two empty seats. Grasping Brittany's hand in hers she placed a very long kiss of gratitude on Brittany, who had clearly made a great deal of effort to get everybody here today. Santana felt so lucky that she had Brittany who loved her enough to get everybody she loved into one room, no scratch that into her favourite ever restaurant.
The night past relatively quick, with everybody catching up with everybody else. Rachel was on Broadway, Kurt too, Mercedes had just recorded her first album out in the fall, Artie worked at some major company and Mike surprisingly had just got a job the same studio as Brittany. As the night drew to a close the huge pile of presents which until now had remained unnoticed was passed to Santana one by one as she opened it and then thanked whoever had given it, with the exception of Puck who amongst a few genuinely amazing presents had seen it fit to give her a few items that were questionable at best. Including vouchers for 'a session with one Noah Puckerman' which she had promptly tossed to Zizes.
There was a notable absence in the names of people who had given her presents, but it didn't matter much, because really why would she need a present from Brittany when she had Brittany herself, who had done all of this for her. But Brittany did have a present for her, only she was struggling to find the courage to go through with it, especially in front of all their friends, because there was always that niggling feeling that she'd say no. It was Mike and unsurprisingly Mr Schue who gave her the encouraging looks needed to stand up and make the announcement.
When Brittany stood up to clear her throat, Santana half expected her to make the speech that Santana should give, but had no intention of doing so. Until Brittany knelt down on one knee, small black box in hand. "Santana, you know just how much I love you, you've been my best friend for so long, and I've been your best friend for even longer. I know my thing is a big hurdle, but I think we've got it down, we manage, and when I do go it's almost always to you, like I find your soul every time. Were soul mates Santana, in the truest sense of the word. Now I may not always be there physically, but I want to be with you forever, I guess what I'm trying to say is I know it's going to be tough but I want to marry you, please say you'll marry me."
Between the suddenness of it all, and the typical Brittany nervous ramble, it took Santana a second to process it, but the answer was always going to be a resounding yes. How could she not want to spend the rest of her life with Brittany? Even if they couldn't legally be married they could still be married. So with rapturous applause from the entire restaurant Brittany slipped the slight silver band set with a single solitary diamond onto her finger.
When Santana saw the local news the next morning she couldn't help but let out a genuine laugh, because of course Brittany knew it was going to happen. Breaking News: New York Legalizes Gay Marriage
Everything was ready for their big day, the venue, the flowers, Santana's dress, Brittany's suit, the food, and the guests, everything except one of the two brides. When Brittany had disappeared two weeks ago Santana had been filled with dread, because there was still so much to take care of, the only upside was that with two weeks to go Brittany had a 99 percent chance that she would be back and in no danger of disappearing during the honeymoon, which is the one thing Brittany insisted on keeping a secret.
Still when the day of the wedding came and Brittany still hadn't returned, Santana felt very much like crying. It was a semi repeat of their first date, only this time there was no other Brittany to take her place, and with nothing to do but think, Santana reached the conclusion that maybe she couldn't do this after all. Tears made their way down her face because reality had finally slapped her in the face, love could only get you so far, it couldn't get you past the long periods where she disappeared to god knows where, it couldn't get you past the hurt when she couldn't show up to things like her own wedding. If Brittany couldn't be here for her own wedding, what other things would she miss, the birth of any children, their first house, their friends weddings.
Santana loved Brittany there was no doubt about that, but she could only take one heartbreak too many and she would be a wreck, she was coming dangerously close to it now. She couldn't do it. So she remained in the darkness of her room, wedding dress hung on the door in front of her, taunting her with what could have been.
It was Puck that forced her out of her stupor, with a glass of whisky and an uncharacteristically wise word. But Puck did have a point love could only get you so far, you have to work for the rest of it. He also made a pretty good point about Brittany never letting her down, in the end she was always where she needed to be, besides they were soul mates so theoretically if she called for her then she would come. He left her to get dressed with his usual smirk and call's of being the best, best man ever and to stop getting cold feet.
When Puck disappeared into other areas of the apartment, the rest of the cavalry arrived to do makeup and hair and other important bits like getting her into her tight sexy excuse for a wedding dress. When she emerged with the cavalry, who also happened to be Rachel, Tina and Mercedes better known as the bridesmaids, Puck and her parents sat in awe at just how beautiful she looked. There was a quick round of photo's and a few hugs from everybody in the room, including a few tears from Puck, that he would never live down, before Santana was whisked into the car besides her father who looked more proud of her now than when she graduated top of her class, a testament perhaps to how much he adored Brittany.
When the car pulled up at the venue Santana was helped out by her father, only to see a few people milling around and Puck surrounded by purple clad bridesmaids but neglecting them to talk on his phone. It wasn't lost on Santana that Brittany still hadn't shown up, and she couldn't quite figure out why she needed to get out of the car at all because the heels were not the most comfortable things to wear and who knows how long they would have to wait, if she showed up at all.
She was most surprised when the few stragglers disappeared to take their seats and the bridesmaids took their positions in front of Santana. Her father extended his arm to her, smile on his face and Puck subconsciously tried to fix her hair. "You're going down the aisle first, give Brittany a bit of time." She wanted to protest because what if she stood there all day and Brittany never showed up, it would be humiliating on a different level than hiding away in the back. But with her father's strong grip, and Pucks gentle goading Santana didn't have much of a choice.
The music started as Santana made one last attempt at staying hidden, until her father successfully got her into the grounds where rows and rows of seats were offset by hundreds of different types of flowers and trees, for a stunning effect. The front platform was no different, the priest stood in front of a backdrop of beautiful gardens and a stunning afternoon sky. Together they reached the front row of seats, and from the right hand side a blonde and an Asian turned to face her, both sporting matching smiles. Santana only just managed to stop herself from breaking down, because here Brittany stood in a specially tailored black and red tux, hair pulled into a band at the nape of her neck looking slightly tired but happier than she ever has before.
As they say their wedding vows Santana can't help but wonder why she even considered the fact she couldn't do this. Without Brittany it had seemed possible, but now that she's here saying things that make Santana actually cry in front of hundreds anything is possible.
Brittany even manages to stay for the entire three weeks they spend travelling around Europe.
Married life and domesticity suited the both Santana and Brittany, except for the fact the Brittany still couldn't cook no matter how many times people tried to teach her. Recipes were confusing; ingredients were confusing, so Santana was the designated cook. Brittany was better than Santana at other things, like retrieving things from shelves, putting up pictures or changing light bulbs. There were other things too, but Brittany had yet to find them much to the amusement of Santana.
Unusually the two arrived home at the same time, Brittany from the dance studio she now owned with Mike and Santana from a series of meetings with some pretty high profiled clients. Santana was the first in the house because Brittany had once again left her keys at the studio, and the first one to hear the distinct wailing of a baby. In the living room, in one of the armchairs lay a little baby girl, with a small tuft of blonde hair and blue eyes, who was probably no more than three months old. Santana had never been easy around children, she didn't like them all that much and she was always afraid that they would wriggle away and she'd drop them,, and that was something she didn't want holding over her head. Brittany however had no such worries, and without so much as a word to Santana scooped the baby up against her chest, gently rocking her backwards and forwards as she pulled one of Santana's shirts from the pile of laundry to wrap the baby in. Snuggled tightly in the shirt the baby settled down before closing her eyes to sleep.
There was something amazing to Santana about watching Brittany with a child, it was mesmerising and Brittany appeared to be a natural, like she belonged with a blue eyed, blonde haired baby in her arms. A small smile worked its way to Santana's face as an amused Brittany cuddled the child, "There's something a little strange about holding yourself as a baby. It's a little weird actually. Here Santana, just take her a minute." Santana's face set into a panicked look as she tried to back up through the door and away from the tiny little human, the tiny little Brittany. But Brittany was taller and faster and if Santana didn't hold her arms to take the baby, then she would tumble to the floor. Brittany stuck her tongue out before disappearing from the room and out the front door, leaving Santana all alone with the baby.
When Brittany didn't return after ten minutes Santana began to panic, which in turn helped wake the baby up and filled the house with crying once more. Unsure of what to do she slowly rocked her body backwards and forwards singing my headband, which settled the baby into an easy sleep a smile still on her chubby features. Somewhere between the first sing through and the moment when her eyes closed Santana had found herself at ease and the knowledge that baby's weren't as scary as they first seemed. She took a moment to study the child, from the little tuft of smooth blonde hair, to the eyes that while closed were undoubtedly the shade of blue that she loved, there was no denying that this child was Brittany.
A chuckle from the doorway snapped her out of her baby induced stupor, and long arms wrapped themselves around her waist as Brittany pressed a kiss into her neck. There's was a feeling when she saw the reflection in the window that she could get used to this, loving a baby that looked just like Brittany, while Brittany loved the both of them from behind. "So that's why My Headband is my favourite song" Brittany's voice was hoarse in her ear, and her laughter low and silent so as not to wake the baby.
Neither of them had any idea how long baby Brittany would stay, but when she did go Santana would make it a priority to bring up having one of their own.
Brittany had been more than receptive to the plan, but things were not working out at all. There first attempt had an anonymous sperm donor so Brittany could conceive and carry the baby, and it had worked up until the fourth week when Brittany's ability once again sent her through time leaving the foetus in her time. Santana hadn't been able to get the sight out of her mind for months after that, and Brittany had felt so guilty she had refused to talk to Santana at all. With a little intervention from Mike and Puck they went back to normal until the baby talk once again took centre stage.
Brittany was never going to be able to carry the child to full term, not unless she could get a handle on her time travelling abilities and that seemed highly unlikely no matter how they tried. So Santana proposed a compromise, Brittany's egg that Santana would carry, thereby eliminating the danger of Brittany's spontaneous adventures. What they didn't count on was Brittany's problem being genetic, and essentially passed on to their unborn offspring, so when at nearly 8 weeks Santana went to bed pregnant and woke up minus a child they went back to the heartbreak imposed isolation. Once again it took Mike, Puck and a sperm donor who bore a natural resemblance to Brittany to kick start their third attempt. Brittany couldn't have biological kids, but Santana could have a kid that looked like the two of them and although they decided that it was the better option. So when the trip to the doctors confirmed the little blue cross on their pregnancy test, Santana's never felt happier and Brittany knows it's great news even if she knows she's not going to stick around for the private celebration she had been so looking forward to.
Brittany's been gone for well over a week and Santana is feeling more than a little lonely and very very pregnant. She mopes around the house eating ice cream and pickles and anything else that's lying around, she's even taken to sleeping on the couch because her fluctuating hormones won't allow her to sleep in the bed without Brittany. Brittany's parents are around more often than not, but when she catches a glimpse of Mrs Pierce, who looks so very much like her daughter, she locks herself in her room and cries. They never disturb her, just quietly tidy up the discarded rubbish and dirty dishes and restock the fridge with all sorts of delicious goodies.
It hurts Santana to see how well their coping with their daughters disappearance, but then she figures that they've been dealing with it from the day she was born. She's disappointed in her own reactions because really this isn't the first time Brittany's travelled, she's been doing it regularly for as long as Santana's known her, but then it's the first time Brittany just up and went while Santana's been pregnant and hormonal.
Her father calls round on his way to go hunting and this time Santana doesn't lock herself in her room, she wraps her arms around him and cries. He laughs and the deep reverberation in his chest is somewhat comforting to her, even if she knows he's laughing at her, so she doesn't shout but she does smile. It's been a long time since her father took her with him, she was only a small girl at the time, she doesn't condone the shooting of innocent animals but when her father offers she accepts.
Santana is hard pressed to keep up with the gang of long legged men, because she waddles more than walks and it's quite difficult to manoeuvre over fallen branches with a rounded stomach. There's a slight crunching sound somewhere to their left, so the group split up and Santana is handed one of her father's guns before he follows them. It's quite spooky standing amidst an expanse of trees, especially when she can no longer see her dad or any of the others and when she hears the bushes in front of her rustling she holds the gun up and pulls the trigger.
The gunshot is followed by a ruffled thud and she's almost certain she's hit something. She doesn't want to go look but she's been all kinds of scared since getting pregnant, and Santana Lopez does not get scared, so she steels herself and wades carefully through the bush. Surprisingly there's nothing save for a large pool of blood and a top that gives her a strange sense of déjà vu. The others are back before she knows it, but the tops thrown Santana, she knows she's seen it before, the deep purple hue and strange embroidery just remind her of something, but of what she doesn't know. She's unresponsive for the rest of the trip so her father cuts the trip short and whisks her back to the car, he tries to get her to talk but she says nothing until he pulls up outside his house. "I want to go home."
It's been three days since the hunting incident and Santana has actually forgot about it, she's busy cleaning the house because the baby is restless and so is Santana. When everything's done she wanders around the house a few times before pulling on her coat and heading in to town because she could do with a few bits and she's sort of craving chicken. She doesn't even get near the store before she sees something in the window and it reminds her of Brittany, a lovely light purple top with a neatly embroidered pattern and it's so lovely that she doesn't hesitate to buy it.
When she gets home she heads straight for the bathroom, only to take a detour through the kitchen where she can hear a light tapping sound. The tapping is coming from the window where out in the garden is a very cold and very naked Brittany. The baby kicks hard as Santana throws open the back door and launches herself into the blonde's arm. Brittany's not feeling as weak as usual so she catches Santana and spins her round, laughter cutting through the air because she's so very happy to be home. "Santana, not that I didn't miss you like crazy, but It's not exactly summer I don't think."
Santana smiles and takes her by the hand, placing a quick kiss on her lips. It's quite amusing to the Latina that she's the one that has to separate them because as much as she wants to continue what they're doing she doesn't want Brittany to get sick and she herself is defiantly feeling the cold. When the door is shut firmly behind them Brittany heads straight over to the nearest source of heat and Santana hands her the pair of jeans that's been sitting on the kitchen chair for the best part of two weeks because Brittany is a slob and Santana didn't have the heart to move them. Brittany pulls the jeans on and Santana hand her the top she's just bought and she's delighted to see the size of Brittany's smile as she fingers the material before pulling it over her head. "How do I look."
When Brittany comes back she's holding the top that's now a lovely deep purple and a pocketful of beads that she spends the next day trying to sow back on. When she's finished she shows Santana the finished product and it's not terrible, it has a certain charm about it until she remembers the top in the woods. It hit's her then and she sinks to the floor tears making their way down her face, that day in the woods she did shoot something, she shot Brittany and even though Brittany's never successfully taken her clothes, the similarity is too close to deny. Brittany's on the floor with her immediately, wrapping her arms around her and apologising profusely for ruining the top because it was her favourite.
Santana remembers a discussion they had once about changing the future, her firm belief in the future is set in stone and she cries some more because she can't believe it. She can't believe that her life with Brittany is going to be over pretty soon if the top was any indication and she defiantly can't believe that she's the one to kill her. So she tries to change it, she begs and pleads and on one occasion even threatened Brittany into throwing the damn thing out. Only Brittany's really rather fond of the top, so she shoves it in the bottom of the wardrobe because she's never going to wear it again.
Santana goes into labour three hours later and her Brittany is by her side every step of the way. Santana's panicked but she's never seen Brittany this calm or collected, she's never seen her this intelligent either because she's doing things that even Santana can't remember the nurse saying. It's only after the birth, when little Quinn is in their arms that she finds out that it was Santana herself who gave Brittany the tips. But there's all sorts of complicated thinking involved, so she remains content to sit and cuddle with Brittany and their daughter, time paradox's be damned.
It's been three years and Santana thinks that maybe the future can be changed because Brittany is still with them. Quinn is four years old now, and despite the impossibility she looks just like the two of them. Dark hair and tanned skin offset by the loveliest pair of blue eyes, she's a good little dancer too. Things have never been better because Brittany's been to see all sorts of specialists and the current one seems to be doing some good because her trips are becoming shorter and less frequent, but worryingly slightly more violent. She can always tell what happened, even when Brittany refused to say because sometimes she would come back with an injury or three and other she would look so serene and so happy asking Santana about her childhood and the blonde who used to have tea parties with her in the back yard. Santana smiles and indulges her because Brittany's special and Brittany's been her best friend all her life, she's been in love with her since that first tea party when she was four, when an adult Brittany used to pretend to be an English Queen.
When she comes back from her latest trip Quinn is on her before Santana, but there's a look in Brittany's eyes that hint at tears threatening to spill out, she hugs Quinn tighter and whispers in her ear how proud of her she is and how no matter what she'll always be there for her. Quinn places sloppy kisses over Brittany's face so Santana slides her pinky into Brittany's who gives it a reassuring squeeze before pulling them in to a three way hug.
That night when there laid in bed Brittany's unusually quiet, so Santana asks her where she went. She stays quite for a moment before turning to face her, the ghost of a smile on her face. "It was the future, it was Quinn's wedding day and she looked so beautiful Santana. You were there too, but you always look beautiful even with wrinkles." Santana smiled because the future sounded like a happy place indeed, but she had to ask "what about you, where you there." A frown finds its way to Brittany's features and a tear escapes the corner of her eye, "Yes, well not the me from that time anyway. But I was there walking her down the aisle, and it was nice, oh San it was so nice." Brittany stops talking then and cries into her shoulder for the rest of the night, when her sobs subside Brittany kisses her messily, slipping her hand under the waistband of Santana's bottoms.
When there in their sleepily basking in the afterglow Brittany leans over and places a kiss to Santana's forehead "I love you Santana, and no matter what I'll be there. When it matters I'll be there." Santana responds by wrapping her arm around Brittany and dropping off into a steady sleep. When she wakes up the place next to her is still warm and Brittany's underwear lay on the bed as if she just disappeared out of them. Santana knows she's gone again and lets the tears fall.
Two days later its Brittany's birthday, and she still hasn't returned from her little adventure but Quinn's adamant that her mummy will be back and that the party should be held regardless. Santana couldn't help but suspect that it was partly because she wanted to invite the Hudson boy from down the street. So Santana throws the party because it wasn't every day a person turned thirty five, and Brittany always looked forward to parties so maybe it would be enough to bring her back.
So she gathered her friends and family and even let Quinn invite little Finn Hudson who showed up with his mother who ended up with an invite also. The party was in full swing when Santana headed outside for a smoke and to keep an eye on the two children who had taken rather a liking to one another. Finn had taken it upon himself to show off a little, swinging as high as his little legs would carry him, which wasn't very high anyway and jumping off to land neatly on the floor much to the delight of their daughter.
She's joined later by Mike Chang, Brittany's other best friend that's not Santana who doesn't say much to her but gives her some companionship none the less. There broken out of their silence by a splash and a scream, and Quinn's pointing at the pond which was fast turning red. A hand broke the surface and Quinn screamed again, this time bringing the entire party of people outside, as Mike reached into the pond to pull out an unmoving body with blood stained blonde hair. Santana's heart stopped cold, and as Mike tried his best to stop the bleeding Santana ran inside to their bedroom pulling everything out of the closet in order to find the top she knew Brittany hadn't thrown away. The top was nowhere to be found, and a sense of dread was pooling in her stomach.
Rushing back outside Mike had stopped trying to stem the flow of blood and Finn had been removed to the house, Brittany's mother held Quinn who fought fiercely to get to Brittany, unfortunately the small child didn't stand a chance against a fully grown adult. Santana's father knelt next to Brittany, but the tears in his eyes and defeat on his face only enraged Santana, why wasn't he helping, why wasn't he saving Brittany. Taking matters into her own hands she scooped the blonde into her arms and pressed her hand to the no longer bleeding wound, tears mingling with blood as she begged and pleaded with Brittany to wake up, to stop messing around. She didn't wake up.
Santana's father wrapped his arm around her his soft Spanish an attempt to sooth his child and himself but Santana was heartbroken and guilty so she lashed out, her flawless Spanish ripping into her father because he gave up on trying to save Brittany, he could have saved her and he took her on that stupid hunting trip, why did he have to take her on that stupid hunting trip. Three people held her back from attacking her father before she finally calmed down enough to apologise. With shaky legs she walked over to Mrs Pierce, pulling her daughter into her arms she dropped to the floor and cried, her arms tightly around her daughter.
Santana had every intention of not going to the funeral, but strict instructions from her parents had forced her to change her mind. It had been two weeks since Brittany's birthday and Santana was exhausted both mentally and physically. Her days consisted of staying locked in her room with Quinn and just generally looking after her daughter, because really she was all that mattered now. It was a strange sensation being without Brittany so she convinced herself that Brittany was just away travelling and that any day she'd walk into the living room to find her naked and tired on the floor.
So she gets dressed a good few hours before she's even getting picked up, just for something to do because Quinn is with her grandparents and Brittany is 'off travelling.' But then she has time with nothing to do, so she checks herself in the mirror, she looks like hell and should probably do something with her hair, maybe put a little makeup on but Brittany always did prefer her natural, and she can't find it within herself to even try.
The service is simple and tasteful but oh so very Brittany, her parents have got her spot on and when it is time for the eulogies Santana wants to say something, but how do you sum up a lifetime of friendship, and a love that even the greatest of wordsmiths could not do justice to. So she doesn't even try. When the casket is lowered into the earth she wonders if Brittany's even in there, maybe she's off in another time having another adventure and then the tears fall because as much as Santana wants that to be true it's not, there's absolutely a body in the casket and it absolutely belongs to her soulmate, it belongs to her. She' stays and cries long after everybody else.
It's Santana's fortieth birthday and everybody insists on celebrating it, but she's not quite so convinced. She hasn't thrown a party since Brittany's thirty fifth, not even for Quinn who's had to go to her grandparent's houses to have the party and even then it's without her mother. It's been five years but everyone still treads on eggshells because Santana's still not over it. They'll have to walk on eggshells forever because Santana knows she'll never be over it. But they throw her a party anyway, and Mike tricks her into attending he even stands watch for the majority of the night to make sure she doesn't run away.
She's waiting for an exit when she spots a familiar shade of blonde hair attached to a Brittany that can't be any older than seventeen. Her mouth is dry when she approaches Brittany who recognises her instantly, huge smile on her face that was essentially Brittany. Tears pricked at her eyes because she's missed this so much, she's missed those eyes and that smile and god those hands. Brittany doesn't ask any questions but simply leads her to the dance floor for a good number of dances. Everybody watches because there's such love between the two and it's beautiful and just a little heartbreaking, because that Brittany hasn't even got her Santana yet and this Santana has lost her Brittany. Still as they watch them sway to the music there is a startling realisation for everyone except Brittany. Santana may have lost her Brittany, but she would never ever lose Brittany, because no matter what Brittany would always be there.
Santana's had many parties in her life, including the one where Brittany proposed but this is the happiest she's ever been, and it's amazing to watch her teenage best friend take her daughter by the hand and dance with her, even without knowing who she is. Santana can see the happiness in Quinn's eyes and it makes her happy too, because Brittany is just that kind of person.
She stays for two weeks.
Quinn's eighteen and Santana can't believe how much she looks like Brittany, even as her skins lightened out and her hair is now dyed a similar shade of blonde, and she looks beautiful in the red puffy out dress that once belonged to Brittany. Santana feels tears in her eyes as she embraces her daughter who hugs her back, because there closer than any mother and daughter have ever been and Santana can't help but wonder if Brittany would be just as proud as Santana herself is.
There's a knock on the front door and Quinn bounces over to open it because it had to be her date for the prom, but standing on the front door is a naked Brittany and an embarrassed looking Finn. Quinn laughs and pulls Finn inside before latching on to her other mother who laughs with her as they sway together on the front step. Santana who would like to maintain a sense of decorum pulls the two of them inside, because really what would the neighbours think seeing naked women stood on the front step. Santana kisses Brittany happily before pulling out some spare clothes from the backpack by the front door. "Have you been expecting me." Santana chuckles and shrugs, because really it was more of just a feeling.
When Brittany's dressed she turns to Finn and proceeds to give him twenty questions about his intentions with Quinn and Santana genuinely laughs because Brittany's just taken her job, she was always the overprotective one. Satisfied with his answer Brittany turns her attentions to Quinn who's more than reluctant to go to her prom because there's no certainty that she'll ever see her again. Santana likes Finn, but she likes him even more when he suggests they stay at home and celebrate their prom with Santana and Brittany because it's the best idea she's ever heard. So Santana orders in the pizza and brings out the booze and really it's a great night and Finn's had more fun that he would at prom. It also means more to Quinn than anything that both her mother's seem to genuinely love Finn, when she tells Finn they like him he's genuinely ecstatic.
When Finn's gone home and Quinn's in bed Brittany leads Santana to the bedroom where they can catch up on everything.
There are so many different rings and just under thirty different ones that he's sure Quinn's going to love. It's not so much that he's scared she's not going to like the ring, more like a paralyzing fear that Quinn's going to say no, because he's nowhere near good enough. He's just about talked himself out of proposing when a voice sounds from behind him.
"I like that one; I think you should buy her that one." He's almost convinced that she's talking to him but nobody knows he's here and the voice in an unfamiliar one. The person carries on indecently and nobody's answering back so he turns around to be greeted by a young blonde with a puzzled expression on her face. "I've changed my mind" she shrugs as she dances towards the other counter to find what she's looking for. Finn watches her with a fascinated amusement, because whoever this girl is she's something else entirely. Her face lights up as she points to something obscured by her body, something retrieved and placed into her hand by the slightly bemused assistant.
She moves back over to him in such a familiar way that has him wondering if maybe he does actually know her. She flashes him a brilliant smile as she places the ring in his hand, curling his fingers into a fist. Rocking on to the front of her toes she places a kiss to his cheek and whispers in his ear "She's going to say yes" and with that she's out of the shop with a slam of the door. He stares after the mysterious stranger before opening his fist.
It's a simple ring, one sapphire surrounded by two tiny diamonds and it's oh so very Quinn. A smile graces his lips as he gazes outside once more, with a feeling that he's just met the illusive Brittany Pierce-Lopez again and a ring that means more to Finn than anybody could ever know.
+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+
Quinn's grown up to be a lovely young woman and she's given Santana four lovely grandkids but she's got Finn now, and a life that Santana hasn't had in such a long time. Her youngest grandchild is a little over four years old and it's been four years since she's last seen Brittany, because even though she can't control her ability she's always made it for the births of every one of her grandkids and according to Finn a couple of contraception's also. Santana still ribs him about that, but it warms her heart that he doesn't exactly mind Brittany's unfortunate timing.
It's her seventieth birthday and she can't quite manage to get out of bed so Quinn and the family came to her. Crowding around the bed they laughed and talked and ate junk food, before Santana felt it about time to demand cake. Finn's about to fetch it from the kitchen when the door swings open and Brittany's stood there naked and carrying said cake. Santana thinks that maybe all her birthdays have come at once.
"I'll go get dressed, but I heard it was your birthday and I figure what goods a birthday without cake. It was in the kitchen by the way, I didn't bring it with me." Santana's face is set in a smile because this is the one thing she's been asking for since her fortieth birthday, Brittany alive and in person; her state of undress is sort of a bonus. So she lets her eyes appreciate the toned form as she sets the cake next to the bed and leans over to give Santana the kiss she's been waiting for. It's a little weird at first, because Santana is seventy and Brittany is maybe only just thirty, but when Brittany climbs into bed next to her and presses against her it's not so weird any more.
The rest of the day is spent eating cake and letting three exited grandkids climb over the bed so they can properly meet there other grandmother who's currently younger than their mother. But as the sun goes down the kids get tired, so Quinn and Finn have no choice but to reluctantly depart. Brittany helps Santana out of the bed wrapping the sheet around the two of them as they shuffle towards the door to wave the little group off.
When there comfortably settled on the couch Santana resting in Brittany's arms do Brittany's hands start to wander and she presses a few kisses to Santana's forehead. There's something sad in Brittany's eyes and Santana knows exactly why it is, because Brittany is like an open book and although Santana's a little bit afraid she's incredibly thankful that Brittany's here, that Brittany loves her enough to not let her go through this alone. Still they have time, and when Brittany whispers into her ear Santana's only answer is "a dance."
The dance is nothing like when they were younger because Santana can't really move faster than a slow shuffle and too much spinning makes her want to regurgitate her rather lovely cake. So it's a slow dance, with Brittany allowing Santana to lead for the first time since forever and it's so beautiful that by the time the music stops both of them are crying, and Santana's struggling for breath. Brittany sits her unsteadily back on the sofa and lets Santana lean against her, head resting against her chest as she struggles to breath. Santana's last images are of Brittany steadily stroking her hair as her lips spoke I love you against her cheek. Santana never would have thought it probable, but she died happy and content and surrounded by love, and she wouldn't have it any other way.
When Quinn breaks in the next morning she finds a motionless Santana wrapped in the sheet from her bed. Through the tears she can't help but notice the genuine smile on Santana's face and it makes her smile because she was blessed with two of the most amazing parents and they were blessed with each other. Quinn's sad, but she's oh so very happy.