Author's note:

This is a story about Eyeshield 21.

The main character is my OC and Hiruma.

I do not own anything except my OC. I am writing this disclaimer for the entire story; I will not repeat myself again.

About the flaming and comments and wanting to change the course of the story, read my page and see what kind of opinion I have about it.

I like comments and reviews and almost everything. If you write a lot of them, a lot of chapters will be updated.

This is not the only story I am writing, so be patient.

(This is so far the first, long story I publish, but I have at least three of them on the making.)

I would like to thank you for visiting and reading trough it. If you add it to favs or alerts even better.

And I have to say… This is not betaed yet so just bare with it a little.

Thank you and enjoy the story.

By, Arwenia

P.S.: Rated M because of murder, rape, curses and many pictured adult themes. If you read further it is of your own choice. I will not alert you later in the story.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

My life wasn't easy to begin with. There were complications even on the day I was born. I ended up in a coma for a few weeks and the doctors tried really hard to save me ... Luckily they succeeded ... since I wouldn't be here now... talking to you like this.

You see ... I always felt like something or someone was behind me, chasing me, so I always had to run. Ran by the age of two away from my closet because I thought that a devil had crept in silently and awaited me to fall asleep. Ran when the first day of school came and everyone was mean to me because of my white hair and pale skin. They used to call me 'Corpse', and when my hair grew longer, 'Corpse bride'.

I had to run away, too, when my breasts started to develop and every boy in my class wanted to grope them. Run when the sky started to flash and rain dropped, running was my freedom.

It had always been.

.*.

Now I became a prodigy. I was the newest Florence Griffith-Joyner. The critics and media flowed around me in waves. I was happy. I really was.

A happy person who found purpose for their life. Run. Run to be the best there is, to show my back to my enemies, to tell them with that gesture that they could eat the sandstorm I left behind my heels.

I belonged somewhere.

Until now.

.*.

Today is the day. Today is the admission exam for the prestigious school I chose. A school that will provide me everything. Since there was no one to take care of me anymore, I had to get a full scholarship and maintain myself. I had my mum's money she left behind and some support, but it wouldn't be enough to cover my needs.

I needed too much just to maintain my running equipment, my old apartment ... our old home.

„Now is not the time to think about it ... Think of nothing, think only of winning! Win! I will win! For sure! I will prove my existence for sure!"

I tightened the grip on my laces. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest but I ignored it, it was only nervousness. I breathed in and out. It would start in a few minutes.

A 100 meters race. An explosion of freedom.

The embrace of an imaginary home.

I checked if everything was okay on the starting point and positioned myself. The judge shot and declared the opening of the race.

…

I ran so quickly. It was so easy. It was like gliding, I felt nothing ... Until something hit me in the chest really hard. I lost my killing pace for a moment and looked down to see what hit me.

There was nothing, until the red stains started to pour down my shirt and my vision blurred.

It was then I lost my consciousness. I could only see black.

…

I didn't really know if I was out or not. I thought I could hear a siren and some voices whispering in my ears, lights flashing above my head and an awful movement like that of an earthquake shaking me.

My eyes were wide open but I could only see a bright light above me, already thinking 'this is the end' until a face appeared, stirring my visual world. It was opening its mouth, talking to me but I couldn't hear a thing. I was out again.

…

Something shook me again and my head was spinning like crazy from left to right and right to left. A flash of something poured into my eyes and the voices were there again. I heard something but it sounded alien to me, out of this world...

Or it was me going nuts there. I didn't really know.

I remembered the dash I had today, the perfect sprint I performed until everything was cut in the middle and scared the shit out of me.

Salty tears rolled down from my eyes into my ears; I was lying on my back.

„Niah-san, we are in the hospital. Everything is going to be alright. We will do everything we can."

I was in the hospital? How come?

Well, everything was blurry now and crazy all over but that couldn't really justify me being taken to the hospital.

But then I remembered the red stains on my yesterday washed white shirt and everything became clear as a day.

I wanted to say something but someone forced a mask on my mouth. Sweet fragrance infiltrated into my mind and I was sound asleep. Not feeling a thing.

…

When I woke up there was no „get well" card on my bedside table, no flowers to begin with. I knew there was no family awaiting me back home, but to be abandoned by your friends ... Well it hurt like shit but I was no whiner; I was always a winner and I never cried over a single person abandoning me. Not even after my own mother did.

Sad huh ... Well, sad but true. I always chased my dreams; I hid my emotions behind my so well known „cold wall" that nobody could reach me. I did everything to push myself forward and left behind everyone who pulled my down, every one considered as a rival. Everyone.

I didn't regret it because ... If I would ... My cold wall would crumble and I would lie naked, exposed even to my own mind. And I by myself wasn't enough to go trough it, to get over it.

„Well ... It looks like I truly am alone, then." I tried to pull myself upward but a sudden pain cut my front.

I lay down again and tried to catch my breath, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I pulled apart the gown and was completely caught off guard, felt disgusted and terrified.

I looked at the scar that flowed from under my neck down to my belly button. A big, angry red scar crowned the front of my body. I was in a hospital, lonely, terrified, and scared. And, above all these, I was ugly.

The doctor came from the entrance and gently pulled my hands off the gown. I didn't know that my grip was so rough, my hands hurt for minutes later.

I looked the doctor in the eyes, longing for some answers. His expression was that of compassion, that of fear and anguish only slightly minor in comparison to the amount hidden in my gut.

„Niah-san ... Do you know what happened three days ago?"

I glared at him petrified.

„Three days? Wasn't it yesterday that I was on track?"

„We put you in an artificial coma because the operation we performed on you was quite long and it did not go well. We did not know for sure if you would have to endure another one."

My breathing was shallow and quick. I was starting to panic. The doctor noticed my reaction and put his palms on my shoulders, gently calming me down while brushing me friendly down my arms.

I finally asked.

„What kind of operation?" I whispered. He hesitated.

„A heart operation."

I didn't understand. I thought I had heard wrong. Had he just said 'Heart Operation'?

„I beg your pardon?"

„We performed an operation on your heart Niah-san."

I didn't hear it wrong. Oh my God, I didn't hear it wrong.

I tried to say something but the doctor cut me in between.

„I am so very sorry Niah-san, I am so very, very sorry… You will never be able to compete again. I know it sounds severe but you are young and you can make another choice. You have enough time to do that ..."

„Not able to sprint again? Having enough time? What is going on?" I shouted but he was as calm as a stream.

„You had a scar on your heart we assumed it was a birth error. That scar grew with you and you had a heart attack three days ago on your admission exam. Thank goodness you also bled trough your nose or else the medical attention would have come too late."

„A scar on my heart? And what happened? What did you do to fix me?"

„We sew a mechanical valve in it to pump instead of your heart since your heart is not capable of sending blood to your veins on its own. Your heart keeps falling apart, though, slowly but steadily. You have maybe three or four years left till your heart stops functioning..."

His shoulders hunched. He seemed very sad.

„And I'm going to die? Just like that?"

„Yes. Unfortunately yes." He turned toward me again and I was just so angry. I was so jealous. On him ... having job, being able to live.

„Leave me alone ..."

„Niah."

„I said leave me alone!" I didn't want to sleep, not now, not in the days that came. I was walking a thin line between dreams and nightmares that called itself reality. And on top of that all ... I was alone.

.*.

I hope you liked the first chapter. Leave me a review and tell me about it a little. If you behave I will unleash the second chapter soon. :)

Beta-ed by RazorLike 29.10.2011.

Thank you.!

by, Arwenia