A/N: Thank you very much to all you who are still reading GW fanfiction after all this time. I am still working on Bring Her Back but I really want it to be more than halfway finished before I start posting it, so bear with me a little longer on that. Here is a little aperatif in the meantime, I hope to update it once a week or so.
I'm not sure what other relationships might come up besides 1xR, or if they'll end up staying in chronological order, but I'd like to hit up the main romantic and friendship relationships at least once! The rating on this story won't change from T- for language and mild sexual themes.
As always, please enjoy the story and review, it only helps the muse (and my craft) to hear your feedback!
-picimadar
Miscommunications
Chapter 1: Duo and Wufei
Summer, AC 198
"For the love of any and all higher powers how is it that every single day we work together you ask me what I want for coffee, and I tell you, and you still, despite me ordering the same thing every time, bring the wrong goddamn thing?"
Duo Maxwell was glad his back was turned; he'd taken enough random office supplies to the head to know it was best if Agent Chang didn't see the broad smile on his face. "Well, what can I say, boss? I guess it must be that public school educat- oh god dammit!"
Wufei's feet stamped strongly against the tiled floor. "Enjoy the new General Policy Manual, Maxwell. I saved that especially for you. I figure tossing it at your thick skull is about as close as you'll get to absorbing any of its contents. No need to thank me."
A string of muttered curses accompanied the rattling of the slammed door as Duo knelt to pick up the scattered papers. "Stupid godforsaken manual… as if anybody besides Captain Stick-Up-His-Ass reads these things?" Duo grasped the refilled binder with one hand and scratched his head with the other. "Wait- that's it. Corporal Stick-Up-His-Ass has probably got it memorized by now, too."
The couch he had dedicated at six months to specially 'breaking in' wheezed as Duo kicked up his feet and lounged. "Page one…. Yeah let's just not even do this." Pages flapped between his fingers. "Page 98…. 'Qualifications. Each agent will-' oh come on, you really think I'm worried about any of that? I'm Duo Maxwell!"
Chucking the manual across the room to Wufei's desk, Duo threw an elbow over his eyes and promptly started working on his early afternoon nap.
The world was crashing down on him. Dimensions were rending from each other. Somehow, the voice of the God of Death turned out to be remarkably like that of one Chang Wufei.
"Maxwell, wake the hell up!" The blue eyed part-time Preventer gave an unmanly shriek as he came face to face with his officemate. "We have our licensing assessments in 10 minutes. I'd suggest making yourself look presentable, but we both know what a waste of time that'd be."
Groaning, Duo stood, stretched and followed Wufei to the main concourse of their building. "Someone will be waiting to interview you down there." Duo nodded, semi-wakeful enough to spot the offices his partner indicated. "You've got all your documentation, right?"
"Docu-what?"
Wufei pulled his glasses off and rubbed his face. "Your proof of citizenship, residency, arms-handling license, certificate of completion for 12th year?"
"Uh… three out of four ain't bad, right?" Duo oophed as Wufei shoved him up against the wall.
"What are you missing?"
"Welp," Duo groaned under the pressure of Wufei's grip, "I guess you could say I learned at the school of hard knocks."
"Oh for god's sake," Wufei muttered, shoving the other man back against the wall and pacing away. "It never occurred to you that forging that might be a good idea?" Duo's shrug obviously did not satisfy his partner. "Well, good look then. Une's going to light you on fire for this one."
Duo did his best to blow off his paranoid friend's concerns, starting down the staircases that would lead to the concourse. There were too few steps for him to fully realize the situation he'd put himself in. Who hadn't gone to school? Everyone was mandated… and it he had missed out from the war, why hadn't he completed it by now, five years later? And then came more questions… why were there two student records under his name for the period of 195-196? Why was his birth identity number technically unregistered?
"Shit," Duo murmured, drawing the attention of two nearby agents. "Heh, I mean… It's like going through the interview process all over again, am I right?" The pair nodded politely, giving Duo a questioning look as he moved through the crowd. Spotting a familiar face, he darted over and took a seat.
"So, Heero, buddy, I bet you're just totally stoked for this whole assessment thing, huh?" His friend gave him the exact same nonplussed 'you had better be dying to be talking to me' look he almost always did.
"It's important for the organization to clarify our qualifications," Heero deadpanned, crossing his arms. The crowd milled about them, uninterested in the one conversation among dozens.
"Right, it just wouldn't do to have a bunch of undereducated weirdos taking care of the President, I guess." Duo could feel the sweat starting to form at the back of his neck.
"It would reduce the credibility of the organization."
"And the credibility of the Foreign Minister's office too, considering they fund us. That must be real important to you." Duo knew he was off his game; his prodding about Relena didn't even elicit a light scowl from his friend. It did, however, prompt an almost unheard of smirk.
"So, you never sorted out your education certifications?"
"Nope."
"Idiot."
The pair had waited for another fifteen minutes or so before Heero's name was called. He quickly completed the interview, gathered his documents and presumably vaporized back to one of his many hiding places, only to be retrieved when there was an un-crackable code, a major security calamity, or when a certain Vice Minister seemed lonely.
Another five minutes and Duo heard a female voice call his name. Swallowing and plastering on his best 'I am facing certain death but hey, that's just Thursday for ya' face, he followed the woman into her office.
"Thank you so much for waiting, Agent Maxwell," the raven-haired woman said as she took a seat behind her desk. Duo sat in the chair she gestured to. "My name is Agent Bailey, I work with internal affairs and I'm conducting these interviews just to help clear up some… uncertainties left behind by the Preventer organizations' sudden startup during the war."
Duo nodded, already feeling the tension growing in his neck.
"Wonderful. Now, let's start with a little about where you grew up."
Duo tried his best to string out his answers, the very pretty pack of lies that they were, wondering what might happen when once they hit the inevitable. Should he tell the truth? Roll with a lie that he forgot his diploma and wait until they took the time to fact check? Duo's normally relaxed smile became tighter as the Agent Bailey covered more and more of his history, until the inevitable happened.
"No, Agent Maxwell," she said, pausing her rapid typing. "Do you have your proof of citizenship and diploma from your final year? I understand some of the schools in certain colony clusters have different policies and curricula, which is why we have to ask."
Duo rubbed a hand against his neck. It came back damp. "Heh, well, you see lady-"
"Duo, you damn moron." The door had breezed open and there stood Wufei. "How many times are you going to leave all your shit in my office?" He gracelessly threw a porfolio of papers at Duo's head, which the seated pilot snatched out of the air. "Next time, I'm just going to light them on fire."
The door slammed shut and Duo quickly opened the portfolio. Among several other documents Duo had already submitted the real version of, which made them elaborate fakes, was a beautifully forged diploma.
"Damn," he whispered, picking up the paper and checking it out. A perfect fake, down to the gold leaf and seal from a senior school he had definitely never heard about.
"Agent Maxwell?"
"Ah, geez, sorry, sorry." Duo passed her the diploma and quickly closed the portfolio before she could ask about the rest of the contents.
"Well, I believe that actually concludes all the questions I have for you, Agent Maxwell." Agent Bailey stood and shook his hand, wishing him a good day.
Duo nearly sprinted back to his office, finding Wufei, Trowa and Heero all lounging around, talking. "Oh so naturally y'all become a bunch of 'chatty cathy's' when I'm not around!" He threw himself back into his seat from that morning, tossing the portfolio onto a coffee table. The room promptly went silent. "Oh for god's sake guys-"
"How was your interview?" Trowa asked, covering a smile with his coffee mug. "Owe anybody some favours?"
Duo sat back up and eyed the men he was sitting with; each one of them wore their own version of a 'we got you, didn't we?' expression. "You… you guys all did these for me?"
"I had considered covering it on my own but knowing how intolerable you are to deal with one-on-one, I figured we didn't have much time before that interviewer would have just about kicked you out," Wufei supplied, smirking. Duo went to stick his tongue out at his partner, but changed his mind.
"Why? Christ, man, if I'm such a pain in the ass just get someone else reassigned up here! That was like your golden ticket!"
"Believe me, we thought about it," Heero murmured, not looking up from his tablet. Duo did feel free to stick his tongue out at him.
"In the end, it comes down to everybody's odds," Wufei said, turning and going to sit behind his desk. "If we didn't help you, our unit of 5 has to pick up somebody else. Can you imagine what idiot they could have replaced you with?"
Duo picked up a faint shudder of horror from Heero and Trowa. "So… you did it to make sure your next partner isn't an even bigger idiot?"
Trowa sighed, standing and stretching. "We did it to make sure this unit stays as strong as possible. Besides," he said, picking up his coffee and leaving the office, "who says you're not going to need to prove your education somewhere else?"
"He means when you inevitably get fired," Heero murmured again, following his friend out of the office. Duo threw some lively insults at him before looking at his watch.
"Well, I gotta head out too, I guess. Lots to get done today." Wufei nodded, still inspecting his email account and typing away. Duo sighed when he hit the door and turned back to his partner. "Hey, Wufei?" The other man glanced up. "Thanks. It means a lot that you'd do that."
"Don't mention it."
"Oh come on dude, there's no need to be humble-"
"No, Maxwell," Wufei ground out, glaring at the other man. "I get your gratitude and you better believe we're going to call back on this favour. What I mean, right now, is that if you keep talking I'm going to waste valuable work hours chasing you down and killing you."
Duo gracelessly turned and lurched out of the office, leaving his partner in blessed silence to continue his work.