Bad Sphere Story
In my version of things, Ted died by squid like in the book.
Rated R for language
_ _ _ _ _ _ __
The day after they agreed to forget...
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Beth thrashed in her bed. She awoke, scrambling into an upright position.
"No, no!" Beth exclaimed.
Beth looked around, heart pounding, untill she was convinced the danger had only been in her dream.
"Oh, Jesus!"
Teary eyed, Beth ran into the bathroom and popped a couple of pills.
"Damn that killer cactus in my dream." Beth whispered. Suddenly, Beth heard something rustling behind
her. Beth turned and screamed as she saw the fanged cactus coming towards her.
"AAAAAAAHHHH!!" Beth screamed, slamming shut the bathroom door. "Nooo..." Beth said, grabbing her cell phone.
"Norman! Norman, help me!" Beth said, after dialing Norman's number.
"Beth! What the hell are you doing calling me?!" said Norman.
"Norman, there's something in my apartment! It's trying to kill me!" said Beth.
"Beth, my wife is trying to sleep. I don't have time for your crap." said Norman, and he hung up.
"NORMAN!!" screamed Beth.
_ _ _ _
Norman shook his head and turned over to see if his wife had woken up. To Norman's horror, he saw that his wife had been decapitated.
"Oh, my God! A killer must have broken in and killed her!" said Norman.
Norman shook his head and got up. "Well, I hated her anyway." said Norman.
_ _ _
"GET AWAY FROM ME, FUCKING FREAK!" Beth exclaimed, slamming a potted plant into the monster's head when it broke the bathroom door down. The monster staggered a bit and Beth ran out the door.
Beth ran from her apartment and got in the car. She drove over to Norman's house.
Norman had gone back to sleep when he heard the banging at the door.
"God, calm down, I'll be right there." mumbled Norman, plodding towards the door. Norman opened it, then rolled his eyes. "Beth." he said.
"You cannot tell me there was nothing in my apartment, Norman, because I saw it!! It was there!" said Beth.
"That's great, Beth. Call the police, ok?" suggested Norman.
"You bastard!" said Beth.
Suddenly, Harry came floating towards the house on a flying carpet.
"Hello, Norman, Beth." said Harry.
"Harry?!" said Beth.
"Harry...what...how..." said Norman.
"What do you mean, what, how? I bought it from a traveling salesman. Isn't it great?!" said Harry.
"Harry...carpet's can't fly..." said Norman.
"Norman, those who don't believe what they see with their own eyes are very foolish." said Harry.
"Harry, I wanna know how you're doing that, and I wanna know right now!!" said Norman.
"CAN'T YOU SEE HOW HE'S DOING IT?! He's FLYING, Norman!!" said Beth.
"Beth, be quiet!" said Norman.
"Don't tell me what to do! You're not my psychiatrist anymore, or my lover!" said Beth.
"Alright, Beth, go bore someone else with your fit. I'm goin' to catch a few more Z's." said Norman, turning to head back inside.
Suddenly, lightning struck Norman.
"What in the fuck?!" said Harry.
"Hahahahahahahaha!!" said Beth.
"Beth, did you do that?" asked Harry.
"How could I have done that?!" asked Beth.
"I don't know..." mused Harry.
Norman slowly stood up. "What in the hell..." said Norman.
"Does anyone else wonder what happened to us when we went down into the ocean recently?" asked Harry.
"I do." said Beth.
"No, I want to go to sleep." said Norman.
"Gee, I wish we knew...it sure would be nice to know...yep. Hey! I know! I remember!" said Harry.
"Me too!" said Beth.
"Oh, Christ..." said Norman, remembering.
"We were such idiots! Just because we forgot we had the power didn't mean we stopped having it!" said Beth.
Harry shook his head. "We should have thought up a button to push that made the whole thing never happen." Harry said. "Well, let's do that now!" said Norman.
"But I don't want to." said Harry.
"Why the hell not, Harry?" asked Norman.
"Because I'm enjoying my carpet ride." said Harry.
"And what happens when a giant squid comes after you?" asked Beth.
"But it won't. It'll come after other people." said Harry.
"Harry!" said Beth.
"Don't call me Harry...my name is Jerry." Harry said.
"Goddamn you, Harry!" Beth said.
"Now, now, take it easy, Beth." said Norman, putting his hands on Beth's arms.
"Get the fuck off of me, you bastard!" said Beth, pulling away.
Norman rolled his eyes again.
"Well, I'm going to wish for a button to push that'll make the whole thing never have happened!" said Beth.
"It won't work unless we all agree." said Harry.
"How do you know?" asked Beth.
"I thought it up." said Harry.
"Well, can I wish for Ted to come back to life?" asked Beth.
"Certainly. In fact, I'll do that now. I enjoyed Ted. He was funny." laughed Harry. Suddenly, Ted appeared. Ted choked.
"What...what...the squid! The squid had me!" said Ted, shocked.
"Relax, Ted." said Harry. Ted looked up at him. "Are we in heaven?" asked Ted.
"No. And you didn't go in the sphere so you don't have the power. Hahahaha." said Harry.
"Someone...please...help me understand!" said Ted.
"It's gonna be ok, Ted." said Beth. Suddenly, a relatively small dead squid fell from the sky onto Ted.
"HAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!" said Harry. Ted screamed hysterically.
"Bally, bally-hiii...ballyhiii...." Harry sang.
"Stop it, Harry, you fucking psychopath! What's going on! Where's the ship!" said Ted.
"Ship? Hmm...ship..." said Harry.
"Stop it, Harry!" said Beth, pulling the squid off of Ted.
"I remember, there was this tentical...wrapped around me....blood...and Norman...Norman, you just looked at me. Why didn't you fucking help me?!" said Ted, getting mad.
"Now, Ted, I wanted to, but I froze! I'm sorry!" said Norman.
"Save it!" said Ted, and he lunged at Norman.
"Ted...please!" said Norman, as Ted strangled him. "How does it feel?? HUH??? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE THE LIFE SQUEEZED OUT OF YOU?!?" screamed Ted.
Beth looked up at Harry as he watched the scene. Harry's carpet waved fluidly in the wind.
"You look just like a charactor from Super Mario Brothers 2. You know, they have this flying carpet, and the music goes, do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do-do...dooo-dooo-dooo-dooo-dooo-dooo-dooo-dooo, doo-dooo..." said Beth, looking up at Harry.
"That's fascinating, Beth. Have you looked at Norman and Ted, lately? Ted just killed Norman." said Harry. Beth looked at Norman's corpse, laying on the ground. Beth smiled, sinisterly.
"That's so weird. I don't really blame him for freezing up, I mean, it happens, you know? I don't know why I killed him..." said Ted, looking at Norman's body.
Harry looked at Beth. "Beth..." said Harry. Beth smiled more and shrugged.
"So, will someone please explain what happened?" Ted said.
"What I don't understand is why Norman didn't defend himself." said Harry. "He was a stupid-ass." said Beth.
"Ok, nevermind. I'm just gonna go home and have something to eat." said Ted.
"Don't even try to kill me, Beth. I won't allow it." said Harry. "Harry, we have to stop this power. We can't control it." said Beth.
"Beth, this power is too amazing to stop! To hell with the consequences! Enjoy the ride." Harry said, lowering down a bit and extending a hand for Beth. After a moment's pondering, Beth took his hand and he pulled her onto the carpet. They began to fly off.
"Ok, well, I'll see you two later." said Ted, looking up at them as he started to walk down Norman's sidewalk.
_ _ _ _
"A whole neeewww wwwooorrrllldd..." Harry sang. "For you and meee!" sang Beth. "I love you, Beth." said Harry. "I love you too, Harry." said Beth. They kissed and rode off into the sunset, even though it was night, as a giant squid attacked a house below.
The end.
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