Annoying. That was the one word that described Emmett perfectly. I mean, why can't he see that I ll never love him? He always follows me around and stares at me adoringly. I mean, why does he love me anyways? I m a terrible dancer, I m stressed a lot because of my enormous family and the eye bags caused by them are near impossible to hide, even with makeup! Yet he calls me beautiful and tells me that the only person he wants to dance with is me. He tells me that no other girl could ever amount to how amazing I was, that d he d wait til I m ready. It s so irritating annoying and adorable. I can t stand it!
A= Annoying
Breakups suck. Especially when you re cheated on by your first real boyfriend. Darn you Spencer! I always laughed at the heartbroken girls that cried senselessly in my mom s chick flicks when they claimed they were never gonna love again. I didn t know what love is... I still don't think I do, but I know my heart hurts. Badly. Breakups suck. Why did I even like a douche like that. Maybe I should of tried to date Emmett, I mean at least he's sweet!
No, that's crazy. I could never date my brother's bff... wait do guys use that term to describe their relationship? Idk. But back to the point, Emmett and pj have known each other for years, Emmett is annoying as stated before, and pj would totally not accept it. Have I gone insane? Even if Emmett is kinda cute, it would never work out, it's crazy and this idea is dismissed out of my brain immediately as of now!
Derek is such a rad, cool guy! I can't believe I m dating someone with a motercycle. He says that look good with his biker jacket on. I agree. It s such a thrill, feeling the wind in my hair, the eyes of all the jealous students as we walk through the school. It's amazing. We're like the cool new couple. Though he does seem to be apathetic about us sometimes.
I have to elude the fact that me and Derek are dating from my parents and siblings. Mom and dad would not approve of him and they'd flip if they found I rode on his bike, it's pretty hard to the fact that I don't want him meeting my family. I think he's catching on. I might just have to let them meet. I mean, what's the worst that can happen?
It's been a week since my parents and Derek met, it went surprisingly well, as a matter of fact my dad really likes him. Problem is. I don't. the feelings I had for him are suddenly gone. Actually I don't think I ever had feelings for him. I just liked being the bad guy's girl. And really he's kind of boring. He never has an opinion and he's never excited it's kind of weird. I have to get rid of him, but he keeps giving me gifts and stuff, and I'd feel like a terrible person if I just ended it. But what has to be done has to be done. Without feelings and emotions a relationship cannot work.
Finally Derek is a goner. I admit I was a little shocked that he didn't even care at first, but hey he was a pretty emotionless guy so...now that he's gone I can focus on studying, and schoolwork, I can get that c in calcus up to an a. I can't believe I let my grades fall down this low for a guy ugh. Come to think of it, I did that with spencer too. Those days are gone, I mean I have a future to look too!
I'm completely happy and content without a guy. I mean who need someone to cuddle you and tell you you're beautiful? I sure don't. ppth. Only pathetic girls need a guy to hug and kiss and all that yucky romantic adorable stuff. I'm happy with me myself and I. and I have ivy too, my best friend so I'm peachy perfect!
Ok. Maybe ivy isn't that great, I love her, but apparently ivy thinks I'm in denial. Ivy thinks I'm convincing myself that I'm happy being single, while inside I'm miserable. Ivy thinks that she needs to find me a new guy. Ivy thinks a lot of things. I think she's insane. Oh ivy. what would I do without her? Maybe have a normal life? Nah. With brothers like pj and Gabe life is never normal. Still ivy, is a nutcase.
Is it weird to be jealous of a guy's relationship when you near despised him a few months ago? But, how could Emmett just forget all the things he said, and date that blonde bimbo! How did he get her in the first place? And they seem all lovey dovey. I hate to say it, but it bothered me, extremely. This jealousy is tearing me apart, and I don't know what to do with it.
That kiss was amazing. I didn't think I would ever feel that much kissing Emmett. I never thought I'd kiss Emmett period. But I did. I just couldn''t take him being with Ashley, so one day when he was at our house, we were talking and I just, boom! Did it. He kissed back too, again, and again. The kisses were soft and affirmative, passionate and heartfelt. So... He broke up with Ashley for me. I kinda felt bad for Ashley, but with kisses like the ones he give me, the guilt was washed away quickly. Me and him are a couple now, it's pretty strange to say, but i't s true, and I'm glad.
I've been dating Emmett for five months, and it's safe to say I finally know what love is. It's that feeling that you never want to be apart from someone. Love is when your guy feels pain, and you in a way feel it too. Love is when your significant other touches you and you feel like crying. Love is when you can be yourself completely. Love is what I feel when I'm with Emmett. Love is crazy and amazing all at the same time. I really love love, and I love Emmett too.
Between me and Emmett there isn't much money going around. He got fired from his job. it's kinda my fault, one of his coworkers were being a jerk to me when I dropped by, and he got into a teeny tiny fight... ok he broke the guy's nose. It was so sweet...but now all we can afford is McDonalds on our dates. We need a better way than allowance to get money. maybe it's time for me to try working again.
I'm the new newspaper girl now, of course I only work on the weekends and it barely pays enough, but Atleast it's a start! It s a big plus too when I deliver Emmett's paper to his family and he's waiting for me with flowers (from his garden) a kiss, and a on-the-go-snack, Yum! Being a newspaper girl is pretty fun too, I think I lost some weight riding my bike the whole route through, and I met some nice people along the way!
Opportunities were arising everywhere for Emmett all of a sudden. He got an offer to be in a music video after someone saw him free-styling on the streets like he does sometimes. He also is getting noticed on youtube for his singing after he did a cover of a ne-yo song (it was better than the original if you ask me) it is not trending or anything, but it has 10,000 views already and everyone loves him (some girls love him too much, Imo) I even got an opportunity to go to new York for 2 weeks with a club at school but I declined, no way was I gonna leave my Emmett. He told me go thinking It would be good for me, but sometimes opportunities are meant to be missed, and that was one of them.
Today Emmett did one of the corniest, sweetest, amazing things ever. You see, it was our 8 month anniversary, and he surprised me with promise rings. He promised me as he slipped the ring on my finger that he'd always be faithful, promised that he would never lie or abandon me. Promised that he'd always protect me with life, promised that he'd always love me and be there for me. He promised that one day he'd marry me. At that point I was speechless and all I could do was kiss him senseless, but later in a text, I promised all those things back.
Me and Emmet began to quarrel a lot, they were never really big fights but, when he talked to other girls, I began to argue a little because I just couldn't help myself, and he picked at me for picking insults at myself. It was annoying, and yeah that trait still described him well, we'd always make-up because, it's hard to stay mad at him for long, but then It would happen again, and again.
One quarrel blew way out of proportion and we both said hurtful things we didn't mean. I was crying on my porch after it was all done, thinking that it was over, thinking that I ruined an amazing relationship, then he came back to my surprise and wrapped his arms around me. He reminded me that he promised he'd never leave me. He reminded me that he promised he'd stick with me through everything. He reminded me that he thought I was wonderful. He reminded me that our relationship would never be a fairytale, that nobodies relationship is like that, and finally he reminded me that his love for me would never fade, reminded me that our love would never fade in general.
You know what s awkward? Taking a sex ed course with your boyfriend. Our health class was forced to do it, and our parents thought It was a good idea for us to participate. It was weird because most people had had sex in the class and they knew how it felt and everything, and I practically had a sing on my head that said ''Look at me I'm a virgin!'' and Emmet's sign screamed ''I'm not getting any from my girl'' I didn't want to hear about the vagina infections you get from sex, nor did I want to hear about the chance of getting pregnant without condoms, I mean, what does it matter to me? I'm not having sex so It really didn't affect me. I don't know if Emmett wanted to have sex with me... I mean it seemed scary, but I know want him to be my first. If he wants it, then I'd give it all to him without second-guessing. He's amazing, ya know? I know my parents would not approve of me having sex before marriage, but they did it, and when I ask Emmett, if he says he wants sex, then he ll get it. Of course asking is gonna be tots weird. Maybe I should wait a while.
Time is running out I realize as I leave pj and Emmet's grauduation. Time is slipping away and I can't do anything about it. In time I'd be going into my senior year, in time Emmett would be leaving me...but it's ok...I mean he HAS to go to college here, he said he would. And Atleast we have time over the summer to spend together, and I plan to use this time well. We'll go somewhere exotic, we'll go to the moon and back together! Yeah this time will be spent valuably.
I can't believe this, Emmett wants to go to a university so far away from me. I get that the university gives him better opportunities and whatnot, then the one he was gonna go to here, but I'll miss him so much, I mean I don't think I can deal with him being gone...He says a long-distance relationship would be fine especially since we love each other so much. I just... Don t know. It s pretty scary. Just thinking about being away from him...
I am no longer a virgin. It all happened on a Saturday night when me and Emmett were home alone at his house. I finally got the nerves to talk about if he wanted to have sex, and he told me that if I was ready, he was. Honestly, I felt like I was ready, and also if he does go to that university so far away (god forbid) I thought that I could maybe give him something to remember. So we used the condoms we got from the sex ed course. Losing my virginity was at first seriously painful, even if he did go gentle with me. Losing my virginity was embarrassing, because no guy had ever seen me naked before, Emmett did reassure me that my body was beautiful however. Losing my virginity was magnificent, it felt so amazing, and having Emmett look down at me with adoring eyes afterwards...that was the best! Losing my virginity was a good decision, because it was with him, losing my virginity was and is a monumental moment I could never forget. It was just...magical.
I was visiting Illinois Wesleyan the school Emmett officially decided to go to. I'm totally upset but Wesleyan was beautiful, Wesleyan had a friendly atmosphere, Wesleyan had amazing staff, Wesleyan was perfect for dance and singing majors, heck Wesleyan was perfect for ANY major, Wesleyan had nice dorms, and nice events, and what kind of girlfriend would I be if I wasn t supportive of his choice? I can't hold him back, but I can visit every chance I get. Yup, Wesleyan was the right place for my Emmett, hey I might even go there next year, who knows?
I was surprised to get a letter from Emmett, firstly because he could just text or call, I mean this isn't the 19th century! I was surprised also because the letter contained pictures of an x-ray. His x-ray. When I called he explained that he broke his ankle while dancing a routine, and looking at that x-ray it seemed like a terribly bad injury. I wished I could be there to take care of him, but of course I have school. Is it weird to keep his x-ray close to me when I sleep? I think it is, but Atleast I didn't frame it. Poor poor Emmett. I hope I m not getting any more x-rays of his broken body parts anytime soon!
I know me and Emmett are still young, but in my head I'm planning our wedding. I know me and Emmett are still young and my mom keeps reminding me of this everyday. ''Don't get ahead of yourself'' she tells me, but it's really too late for that. I've already named out children, we'd have twin boys, Zeke and Zachary, and one girl named Julietta, born in Japan. I know me and Emmett are young and that means we have the rest of our long lives to spend together. It mean we have plenty of years to make loads of memories...oh and it also means we don't have wrinkles, like my mom and dad, yuck!
My life before Emmet was drab. Sure, it had it's sparks, even it's flames, but it was never that great. I had my happy moments, my bad ones, but with Emmett, no matter what happens I could just think of him, and I'd be ok. Better than ok, really. It's dtill not a fairytale romance, and we still argue every once in a while, but I know he'd never leave me, and I'd never leave him, I'd have to be plain stupid to do that. I also know that with Emmet there will never be a dull moment, it doesn't matter if he's just staring at me with those gorgeous eyes, or serenading me with one of his songs. Yup with Emmett my life is never boring, it is very...zesty. Yup that's the perfect adjective. I am truly happy...my life... My life is full of joy and zest.
a/n : Really, I was contemplating even putting this story up, because to me it s a load of crap. But I worked so hard on it, and I don t think all the hard work should go to waste, I mean, maybe someone will kinda like it right?
This is my first attempt at a story with no dialogue between characters, and my first attempt at anything good luck Charlie...also my arms are sore from writing, then typing all of this so a review or two would be really nice! Actually just a favorite would do :D
Oh, can you tell me what you're favorite letter was if you review? Your least favorite? That'd be really helpful ;)