A/N: Well, this is the result of me listening to Tom Wilson while at the grocery store contemplating Tasty Wheat. I'm not saying it's funny, I'm not saying I know where it came from, and I'm definitely not saying that I own The Matrix and/or this song. The song is I Hate You, sung by none other than Tom Wilson! These are pretty much just gonna be little writers block stress reliever song-fics, so they'll just show up randomly. Enjoy! :) -Fic
I Hate You - Tasty Wheat
"Why are we here?" Apoc asks as the car pulls into the parking lot of the nearest grocery store. Morpheus, Trinity, and Apoc had gone in to speak with a potential red-pill, and when they had returned Switch and Mouse where waiting. Morpheus and Trinity had jacked-out, but Apoc decided he might as well come along for the ride.
"Mouse wants Tasty Wheat." Switch replies.
"Yeah!" Mouse says happily. "Oh, Switch, park over there! Or over there, or..."
"I've got to get past these damn people first Mouse." Switch snaps, her patients wearing. First she had to put up with listening to Mouse sing some weird Tasty Wheat song the entire way here, and now some idiots in a large, redneck looking truck appeared to be trying to park where there was already a tiny car, causing a bit of a traffic jam in the parking lot.
I hate you, you hate me,
For another ten minutes the 'rednecks' attempt to pull into the parking space, before finally giving up and backing out, causing everyone else to have to back up, too. They pull off to one side slightly, barely leaving enough room for anyone to pass. Slowly the cars begin to squeeze past the truck, and Switch decides to give the idiots a piece of her mind.
I flip you off, and you give the bird to me,
As they pass by the truck, Switch rolls down the passenger side window, leans across Apoc, and flips off the 'rednecks'. They respond promptly, giving her the bird.
I'm surrounded by a bunch of morons in a clot,
Everyone seems to have slowed to a crawl again, and Switch was ready to scream.
Driving in this parking lot.
Switch pulls up in front of the store, and instructs Mouse to get out.
"Go find your Tasty Wheat, I'll try to find a place to park. Apoc, go with him." she says, not trusting Mouse alone in a grocery store. Mouse jumps out and runs into the store, with Apoc following close behind.
I hate you, you hate me,
Switch pulls away from the curb and begins to drive around the first loop of parking spaces. Spotting an available space, Switch speeds up slightly, only to stop last second as a convertible pulls hastily into the space. A woman in too high of heels steps out, complete with purse and small yappy dog.
I sneer at you, and you ignore me,
Switch sneers at the woman, but she seems to have not even noticed her.
I think you have a really ugly face,
The woman is wearing a ridiculous amount of make-up, probably making her uglier than she was with out it.
"You could be a beauty queen, but you'd still be damn ugly right now." Switch mutters.
'cause you just took my parking space.
Switch circles around the first loop, finding nothing available, then circles the second loop. Seeing only a few spaces left, Switch decides to just take the first one she comes across.
You hate me, I hate you,
The first space was taken almost as soon as Switch spotted it. The same thing happened with the second. It was when Switch spotted the third available spot, and the car that was headed for it that she got pissed.
Let's forget the phoniness, admit what's true,
It was true, Switch was angry that so many spots had been taken from her by idiot 'rednecks' and off-duty hookers, but it was the person that she saw coming that made her absolutely pissed.
I've got one good reason, but I don't have two or three,
Now this woman had always been a thorn in Switch's side. Ever since they were kids she had taken whatever it was that Switch wanted. If it was the seat by the window, she got it. The extra cookie at lunch, she got it.
I just hate you, because you have more money than me.
And maybe the thing that she had taken from Switch that had the biggest impact of that womans life, was the lottery ticket that Switch had bought. It was hers, but the woman claimed it as her own. She was now rich, and still continued to get everything she wanted. There was no way that Switch was going to let her get this. She was NOT going to get her parking space...
I hate you, you hate me,
Only it was too late. While Switch was lost in spiteful thought, the woman had already pulled into the spot and was getting out of her car. Switch couldn't believe it.
I flip you off, and you shoot it back at me,
Switch once again rolled down the passenger side window, and flipped the woman off. The woman shot it back, and Switch accelerated forward, right into the back of another car.
I'm surrounded by a bunch of morons who can't drive,
"I can't do this anymore!" Switch screamed. She threw the car into reverse and flew out of there, narrowly missing several cars turning into that loop. She turned around and pulled up in front of the store.
I wish that I was not alive.
Apoc was already waiting there, and judging by the way he slammed the door when he got in, he too was pissed.
"Mouse got me kicked out." Apoc said before Switch could ask. She didn't have time to wonder what had happen, either, as a moment later Mouse strolled out happily, a box of Tasty Wheat in hand.
"Tasty Wheat, tasty wheat, tasty wheat..." Mouse started to sing as they finally pulled away from that horrid parking lot.
"Mouse..." Apoc growled under his breath.
"Tasty wheat, oh, tasty wheat!"
"Mouse!" Switch screamed. She had had enough. Jamming on the brakes, she spun around, grabbed Mouse's box of Tasty Wheat, and heaved it out the car window. "NO MORE TASTY WHEAT!"
Mouse just stared at her a moment before sinking down in his seat to pout and mourn his box of Tasty Wheat.
They rode the rest of the way to the exit in complete silence. Mouse pouting over his Tasty Wheat, Switch over her parking spaces, and Apoc - who actually didn't get kicked out of the store at all - because Switch showed up before he could ride the mechanical horse outside of the store.
I hate...(oh look, forget it.)