"Damn it all, Deidara, you fucking did it again, you bitch!!"

I hadn't been looking where I was activating my art… yet again. Hidan, a fellow Akatsuki member of mine, came just a little too close to my latest creation: an elegant eagle with its wings outstretched, soaring towards its proper afterlife.

"My apologies, Hidan-san, but you shouldn't be going anywhere near my creations… you know this, yeah."

"I don't give a shit. Get Kakuzu-san for me and fucking put me back together, or I'll tear your shitty guts out and sacrifice you to Jashin."

Hidan's always giving me a hard time whenever he makes a mistake around me. Wordlessly I pick myself up and gather Hidan's cursing head. All he would do was curse at me while we searched for Kakuzu. Luckily, he wasn't far away, so we were able to reassemble Hidan with haste.

A few hours later after he was sewn back together, he approached me while I was eating.

"Hey, Deidara."

"Yeah?"

"Never mind."

"Whatever."

I only mention this because Hidan had never approached me like that before. Normally he'd just come up to me to let out some steam, or to coax me into his religion. Either that or some stupid thing he wants me to do for him.

So he approached me like this several more times as a few days passed. Now I was extremely curious. Why was this platinum-haired immortal man approaching someone like me in this fashion? I can't think of any good reasons… ones that sounded like him, anyway.

---

"Deidara-kun."

"What, Hidan-san? This is the thirteenth time you've spoken to me like this in a week… yeah. Why won't you tell me what you want?"

"Because I fucking said so. Anyway, I was wondering if you could look for something for me. You can see way fucking better with your stupid camera thing than I can with my shitty eyes, and the thing I lost is fucking small, so…"

"Fine, fine. I'll do your petty little request if you'll leave me alone. Now what is it that you need?"

"Well, I lost my damned necklace. You see, I was fighting someone, and it fucking fell off or something when I fought this guy. I don't even know who the fucker was, he just ripped off the fucking chain on my stupid necklace, so now I can't find it. I have the other part of the shitty necklace, the symbol, but I can't fucking find the chain. You've seen how fucking thin that damned chain is."

"Hai, I've seen it before… too many times for my own good… Now, where did this fight take place?"

"I'll go with you. It's nowhere near here. I tried looking for that shit, but I couldn't find it…"

He seemed so worried over this dumb chain. It was a cheap stainless steel chain – one that you could get anywhere, at nearly any store, so why was he going through such a great length to find this chain?

And so we started walking into the middle of nowhere. He was in the lead, since I had no clue where he dropped the chain. I'm surprised that Hidan lost something like that so easily… it just didn't seem like him.

Forty-five minutes later, Hidan came to a halt in the middle of a clearing. He stood with his hands on his waist, dropping his triple-blade scythe on the grassy terrain. I stopped too, about fifteen paces behind him, bewilderment surging through my body.

He turned around, and spread out his arms, exposing his bare muscular chest. "This is where that damned fight took place. Start searching."

I run my left hand through my bangs, not looking forward to the task in front of me. The grass was tall, about knee-high in some spots… while others were even taller… so finding that idiotic chain was going to be harder than I thought.

"Damn it all… this tall grass isn't going to be nice to me, is it?" I start to mutter to myself as I put my camera to use. I really don't use my camera for looking for small things on the ground… I use it more for attacking, like looking for guards and getting them at a good distance.

Ten minutes of fruitless searching. Then:

"Umm… Hidan?"

"What?"

"You did fight here, in this exact spot, yeah?"

"Yeah, why?"

I turn to look at him.

"Then why isn't there any blood here? You may be immortal, but I'm sure you bleed too, and so does that guy you fought… Either rain washed it away – and I note that it hadn't rained in a month – or there was never a fight…"

I straighten myself as Hidan shifts his weight.

"So, Hidan, where's your necklace?"

I stare straight at him. He cocks his head to the side at a slight angle, a smirk plastered on his face. His arms fall to his side, and he starts to lazily step my way. I stay stationary, watching him lumber towards me. He started to chuckle, which was my cue to back up.

Eventually my back was to a tree. A thick one too, and I didn't really have time to get around it.

"Deidara-kun… Why are you backing up?"

"Hidan… Why are you walking towards me like that? Why are you looking at me like that, yeah? And why are you dragging me out here into the middle of nowhere for nothing?"

"Oh, this shit isn't for nothing. Trust me…" And then he ended up pinning me to the tree, his tall broad-shouldered form boxing me in.

"Hidan…" I gulped. "I thought you practiced chastity…"

"Hmm, so I did. That was then, though – I have needs just like every other fucking person in this shitty world…"

I could feel my face turning red. My arms were to my side, gripping the smooth bark of the tree as he took one of his large hands and tilted my face up. He placed his lips on mine, holding them there for a long moment.

Now I knew why Hidan had brought me out here. He wanted me. I didn't protest, really, because I suppose I like Hidan too, I just hadn't really thought about it.

He pulls back, smiling. He ran his tongue over his flawlessly white teeth, teasing me with that look of his, like he's sexy and he knows it. I think that's why he's always wandering around practically shirtless – to show off and make girls chase after him, despite the fact that Hidan is a closeted gay.

I don't move at all. My body is wanting to get away, yet wanting more, more of his touch and more of his taste. He presses his firm body against mine and places his hands on my upper arms, holding me in place and bending down to kiss me again.

I decide to go along with his game. After all, I hadn't played anything with anyone since Sasori passed on, which would be about a year or so ago. I had a near impossible time getting over his beautiful death, but I'm working with it. I'd missed this kind of contact – the way our bodies moved together, the battling of tongues, the exchanging of delicate touches. Hidan's touch was more firm and rough, but tenderly gentle, if you know what I mean.

He deepens that kiss. He brushes my long hair out of my face, putting it behind my ear, then pulling his head up and taking off the camera that I was wearing. His eyes searched mine, with he being one of the only people to see my whole face. I could tell he was drinking up the sight. I don't understand what it is about my face that others like, but there must be something because I always get the same look from each individual.

He suddenly dives back into a kiss. He runs his tongue across my lip, then forces himself in, taking immediate control. I could tell that I was probably going to be the ûke of the sudden situation.

I could taste him – nothing like Sasori's sweet flavor. Hidan was metallic, warm, very damp, and tasted a little of sweet bread. It was difficult to describe.

I started to tune out any other sounds that didn't have to do with Hidan. The twittering of birds were nice, and the whispering trees was fine but it didn't really affect me in any way. I was now addicted to Hidan's flavor.

In a feeble attempt just to see how far I could go, I try moving my arms to run them through his hair. As I expected, he kept my arms down with his strong grip, so I played his little game and submitted.

He then took his right hand and started creeping down my side. I don't know if he knew that this was Sasori's favorite thing to do to get me in the mood, but it worked. My body involuntarily shuddered, anxious excitement pounding in my most vital bits. He ran his fingers along my side again, making me break the kiss and silently gasp.

"Hidan… Why are you torturing me like this..?"

Hidan said nothing. He began to plant little kisses on my neck, undoing my Akatsuki jacket while he was at it. He worked his way down as he gained more access to my skin, nipping and sucking and licking in ways that Sasori had not, maybe even could not. My breath quickened, and I nearly clawed at the bark, but if I had, then I would have ruined my nails – it's so hard to keep them all even and to keep them from breaking, as well as keeping the polish from chipping.

He began to pull my jacket down, sliding it off of my shoulders, landing on the ground in a soft pile. He let go of my arms, allowing me a little freedom. I placed my hands on his bare shoulders, giving him the same treatment with the mouths in the palms of my hands. Hidan grunted softly, straightening himself and gluing his lips to mine once again in an open-mouthed kiss.

I twist my head to the side after a few moments.

"Damn you, Hidan, damn you and that stupid religion of yours, damn your body, damn your mouth, damn you all to no end…"

To this he laughs. Why was he torturing me like this? My whole body was pulsing, and I was starting to harden in such a way that I never thought possible.

"Damn you, Hidan. You're torturing me… either do something about it or put an end to this, yeah…"

"You know I fucking like it rough, don't you?"

I don't respond. I take my hands off of his shoulders and place my own mouth on the side of his neck instead. He inhaled deeply, his breath starting to rattle. He places his large hands on my hips, slowly pulling down my pants. I don't protest.

I tilt my head up, looking up at the sky. All I see is Hidan and the vibrant greens of the paper birch leaves.

"Deidara… are you hungry?"

"Yeah…"

He stops pulling down my pants and places his hands on his own, pulling them down. Then he pushes down on my shoulders so I'm on my knees and he's presenting his long, thick length. Almost eagerly I envelop his member with my lips, immediately sucking and licking him. Hidan responds with groans and moans, panting and murmuring things I can't hear under his breath. I don't care what he said, anyway – he was probably pleading to Jashin for forgiveness.

I caress his base with my long, thin fingers, playing with his hair and stroking the shaft. My mouth can't go much farther beyond his head, due to his size, but it seems to be enough. After a few moments he releases in my cavern, giving me his bittersweet taste. I'm pretty much forced to swallow his seed, since by now he was holding my head in place, by means of my ponytail as a handle.

"Deidara…"

I glance up at him, grunting.

"That was fucking amazing."

I drop my gaze, staring at his pulsing member. I smirk, and place my mouth on his head once again. Hidan's legs were trembling, and I did this just to tease him and maybe get a little of what I need. I wanted the same treatment, so I figure that if I do what I like and he likes it, maybe he'll be nice and play the part I want him to.

Hidan's breathing was rapidly increasing again, shaky and a little noisy. I roll my tongue around him, then plant kisses on his shaft and use the mouths in my hands to my advantage. I lick him, I press firmly, I scrape my teeth on him, I suck, I pull, I nip, and I coax another climax out of his monstrous length. I have to admit, he was larger than Sasori's, but Sasori's fit a lot easier in my entrances than Hidan's. You know what they say, though: It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean.

After Hidan gives me another drink, he collapses to his own knees. I smile at him, his muscular body glistening with sweat. It takes him a few moments to recover, but by the time he has he's flipped me over so I'm on all fours and I know what's to come. I brace myself for penetration.

"You ready for this? I have no fucking clue what all you're used to, but I'll tell you that you're not going to be fucking ready for this shit."

Then he sticks two fingers in my mouth. I suck them, wetting them down. He pulls his thick fingers out of my mouth and inserts them into my entrance, working the muscle a little for easier accessibility and probably to lessen the pain a little. I know it would hurt, because just his sausage-like fingers probing around aches a little, and his member is larger than just his two fingers.

He withdrew and then places his head by the door, barely touching the outer rim. I start to quiver with anticipation. And, without warning, his hand shoots out and wraps itself around my own length, pumping and fondling. His hand was warm, rough to the touch yet soft around the edges. He completely caught me off guard.

When my concentration was just focused on my member, he shoved himself inside. I cried out in mild pain and pleasure, gasping for breath and clawing at the soft dirt for some kind of brace. Hidan was rocking my body… everywhere, it seemed, for my world was spinning and twisting and I couldn't see, think, or hear clearly.

"Hi… Hidan…"

He pulled back out, then in again. In and out, in and out, over and over again, my ocean churning and tossing around as his storm disturbed my waters. I started to pull grass out by the roots, the only thing bothered by my and Hidan's game. The world around us was going on just like it should, while ours was exploding with colors and sensations.

I couldn't take much more. His pumping and his thrusting was overloading my system. I climaxed, my own bittersweet essence now spread across Hidan's fingers. My body trembled, nearly at my limits. I suppose you could say that there really can be too much of a good thing. I'm on the brink of fully learning what that statement really meant.

I reach my limit at last. Hidan knew I had when I screamed his name. He pulled out, having filled me at nearly the same moment. I was breathing very, very heavily, as was Hidan, and we both slumped back. Hidan fell back against the tree, and I fell into him, coming down off of my high.

A little while later, I slowly stood up. Hidan's eyes followed me as I picked up my things, mainly my pants, jacket and camera scope. The faintest trace of a smile was penciled into his lips. I sighed, irritated by the fact that he was watching my every move.

"What're you looking at?"

He did not advert his gaze. Instead, his smile widened, and he started to chuckle. I shook my head and started dressing myself, not caring how dirty or sticky I was. I'll simply clean up when I get home. Hopefully Tobi will leave me alone for the rest of the night, but I highly doubt it. He's always annoying me whenever I don't need him around.

Hidan stands up, pulling up his own pants. His eyes are still glued to me, watching me put my scope back on.

"Hidan, you bastard…"

"Yeah?"

"We never found your stupid necklace."

"Uh, about that…" He digs into his pocket and draws out his necklace, still completely assembled. The chain wasn't broken at all.

My jaw dropped. I was practically speechless. The only thing I could muster was:

"Damn you. Damn you and that fucking necklace, Hidan."

"Yeah, I know I'm a fucking bastard, but hey. It was well fucking worth it, wasn't it?"

I stalked off, irritated. My fingers dug around in my clay pack, digesting the explosives and infusing C2 chakra into the minerals. I mold two fist-sized birds, sending one of them Hidan's way and the other as a means for transportation. As I leap onto the extremely enlarged bird, I form a hand sign and mutter, "Katsu," looking back at the explosion as I take off.

"Fuck you, Deidara-teme."

---

I don't see Hidan for a while. After a week of his disappearance, people started to inquire where the hell he was.

"Does anyone know where Hidan went?"

"No, haven't seen him for a week."

"I wonder where that bastard had gone off to? He probably got himself blown up or sliced to pieces again… or he could be praying to that damned Jashin or whatever the hell it is…"

"Maybe."

I remain silent throughout the group conversation. A faint hint of a smirk was traced on my face, and only one person could see it.

"Deidara-senpai, what did you do to Hidan?"

I look over his way. "Well, Tobi-kun, let's just say that he lied to me and he's paying for it, yeah."

Later that evening, I fly back out to where the scene of the crime took place. I found his head laying some thirty feet away, cursing at me as I approached.

"Fuck you, you fucking asshole! What the hell did you fucking blow me up for? You know I fucking hate it when you pull this damned shit on me, and—"

"Hidan. Do you want me to pick up your pieces or not? Nobody else is going to find you out here. I haven't told anyone where the hell you are – and since this place is so desolate, I doubt you'll be found for weeks, maybe even months, yeah. So stop while you're ahead, Hidan, or you're going to find yourself in an extremely sticky situation."

This shut him up. He glared at me, keeping his dirty mouth closed while I gathered him up for the eleventeenth time. He didn't start speaking again until I dropped him off, laying out his bits in front of Kakuzu.

"What happened to him, Deidara-kun?"

"I'll fucking tell you what this bitch fucking did to me!! He fucking blew me up again, you mother fucker…"

I look down at him, adding to Kakuzu: "Because he lied to me about loosing his necklace. You'll never guess what he did then…"

While Hidan was vulnerable and couldn't do anything to me, I told Kakuzu the whole story. His eyes widened as I started to get graphic with the details. By the time I was finished, Hidan had used every word possible to keep me quiet. His noise died down a few moments after I finished, and I glanced at Kakuzu.

"I'll pay you to keep your mouth shut, Kakuzu."

His eyes shined as his head snapped up. "How much are we talking here?"

"About a thousand Ryo, yeah."

"Sure."

So Kakuzu kept his mouth shut and he fixed Hidan after washing him off. The lavender-eyed Jashin worshipper had to wait a week and a half before he could get back at me.

He got me alone, in my bedroom. He didn't even bother to knock… most irritating, since I was changing clothing at that precise moment.

"Fuck you, Deidara-dobe…!"

"…Can I help you, Hidan-teme, yeah?"

I was in the middle of my bedroom, shirtless, grasping my clothing in my hand. His eyes looked my lean body up and down, his lips changing from a furious sneer to a devious smirk.

"Yeah… fuck you, Deidara."

"You're not getting what you think you're getting, Hidan… not this time around."

He enters my room, closing the door behind him ever so quietly. I stand, frozen, knowing what will happen yet pretending to myself that it won't. He walks toward me slowly, seductively, his eyes twinkling.

"That's what you fucking think, Deidara," he murmurs as his hand reaches out to me.

Next thing I know, I'm on my back on my own bed. Hidan's blood red scythe was laying on the carpeted blue-green floor, his Akatsuki jacket adjacent to it. He was on top of me, his strong arms supporting his weight and being sure to not crush me.

"You're not starting this up again, Hidan…"

He stopped me dead by planting his lips on mine, dragging his warm tongue over my mouth, begging for an entrance. I twisted my head away, breaking the rough kiss.

"Hidan, didn't you have to beg for forgiveness from Jashin the last time? How long did you pray for? Five hours, yeah? Do you really want to do that all over again?"

"He'll forgive me. I'm sure he will; I'll just get a sacrifice…"

I was silenced once more, my attempts blown away as if they were nothing. Wandering fingertips walked down, brushing against my bare skin. They trailed down as our tongues battled, sliding beneath comfortable dressings.

This is going to be a long night.

…oOo..oOo.oOo..oOo…

Thanks for reading.

I wrote this for my best friend, Buremerusensei.

I hope she likes it.

Her favorite pairing is currently HiDei,

So I wrote this for her.

:D