Had this in my head for Halloween, but I was busy with some other fics. Now, it's the best time. What if there were three teens that get on Shifu's nerves? This is the perfect fic for that. Warning: may include (for the first time ever) some minor swearing. Didn't expect that to happen. I really don't apporve of cursing in my fics, but I had to break the rule just once. And it's the one and only time. And also some crude humor. Well, enjoy!

Halloween Hi-Jinks

by: Terrell James

Chapter 1: Tricked by Teens

On a clear Halloween night, Master Shifu was at the Sacred Hall of Warriors, just meditating away while chanting 'inner peace' hoping to find some in this time of night. Suddenly, his ears flicker as he hears the sound of knocking on the door. He tends to ignore it and continued meditating on, but it wasn't helping matters when the knocking on the door multiple times almost broke his concentration and got on his nerves.

Shifu groaned in an irritated way when the knocking grew more annoying than anything. He tries to keep cool and meditates again, but the knocking grew more louder and louder and Shifu was ready to kick them out of the room and he angrily went to the door, opened it and shouted, "WHAT?"

To his surprise, he sees a group of teenage grey wolves; aged 17-15 coming in the doors of the Jade Palace and the 17-year old wolf said, "Dude, got any candy?"

Shigu sighed deeply and showed his annoyed look when Po's doing something stupid and he said to them in a calm manner, "I'm sorry, but we do not have any candy here."

The oldest wolf scoffed at him and then turned to his friends thinking that there might be some in the palace and he said, "Come on, old man. We know you got some."

"We're out of candy." Shifu said, getting annoyed.

As he planned to close the door, the wolf puts his foot on the door to stop him and that didn't sit well with the Grandmaster. The oldest wolf opened the door and folded his arms and told him, "They call it trick-or-treat for a reason. Maybe you didn't hear us correctly. Give us some candy or else."

"Or else what?"

"You get tricked by us." the youngest wolf added.

"And we'll do it too." the oldest wolf said.

Shifu tried his best not to lose his cool and he politely said, "We do not have candy here. We just gave some of them away to some trick-or-treaters a couple of hours ago."

"So...you're out? You must have some of it left."

"We are out of candy." Shifu enunciated.

As Shifu closed the door on them, the wolves decided that they won't stop at anything until they get their candy. The oldest wolf hatched up a plan to get on Shifu's nerves and he said, "Boys...time for a little Halloween trickery."

Shifu got back to meditating as he tried to regain his inner peace to avoid the situation that just happened earlier. 10 seconds in and another door is knocked. Shifu sighed exasperatedly and said, "What now?"

He might think it's those same boys again, so he walked up to the door and when he opens it, his surprise was that there was no one there. He was immediately suspicious to figure if someone is playing a trick on him because he hates surprises...or tricks. Then, he sees a note from the ground and he picks it up and reads, 'Are you ready to see three full moons?'

He got confused with that question and when he looked up, he sees the three wolves from behind, pulling down their pants and to his shock, he realized that those three boys were mooning the Grandmaster. They all started laughing hysterically and one of the wolves taunted him saying, "Kiss our butts, old guy!"

That made Shifu grow enraged at the boys' conduct and they ran off, but not before the oldest one came to him and placed his butt on his face and said, "I dare you to kiss it."

Then, he smacks it and runs out of there, laughing.

Shifu was completely furious at their conduct and just angrily muttered to himself as he went back inside, looking totally P'Oed at their blantant disrespect and immaturity. He got back on the steps of the Moon Pool and tried to forget about the whole thing.

Little did he know, it was far from over.

Suddenly, he hears the door open and then closed and he turns around and sees no one there. He didn't know whether if it was intruders or the Dragon Warrior playing a joke on him. He walks through the door and when he opened it, he saw no one there again. Somehow, he felt as if his mind was playing tricks on him. But he was unaware that someone was tugging on his robe and it quickly got removed.

Shifu looked down and saw that he was completely naked and when he turned around, he sees the middle wolf holding his robe and he said, "I may never look at you the same way again."

"Unhand my robe this instant!" Shifu shouted.

"First, you give us the candy!"

"I keep telling you, we are all out of candy!"

The young wolf chuckled softly and he said, "I guess we'll play a little game called 'Try to Catch Your Robe while you chase me around the Valley of Peace."

That made Shifu more angrier than ever to the fact that everyone would see the Grandmaster naked and he quickly snatched the robe and puts it back on. He stared at him, looking really furious and said, "You got five seconds to get out or..."

"Or you'll what?" the middle wolf taunted.

"Or you will get severely punished by me." Shifu added, menacingly.

The middle wolf shuddered sarcastically and he said, "I'm shaking in my legs right now. I'm about to be taken down by an old raccoon."

"I am a red panda!"

He looked at Shifu's species and didn't seem to care about it and he realized that he's not lke other giant pandas and he said, "Aren't pandas supposed to be like fat and stuff?"

"We have the Dragon Warrior."

"So what, is he like your son or something?"

Shifu's mouth dropped open and that provoked outrage to him thinking that Po would be his real father and he said, "Absolutely not! Now get out!"

He left the room and Shifu sighed angrily and cursed under his breath as he tried to regain what composure he had left and as he tried to get back to meditating, he suddenly got pummeled by water balloons and to his surprise, the oldest wolf and youngest wolf popped out and threw some at him.

Shifu was soaking wet and then the youngest wolf sprayed some silly string at him and threw a banana peel at his face. He removed the peel from his face and unfortunately for him, he slipped and fell down on the ground, leaving the two wolves laughing hysterically and mocking him.

Shifu got up and he definitely had enough of this mockery and he said, "Both of you, leave this instant!"

Suddenly, the middle wolf went in front of the other two and he said, "Not until we get what we want."

"I keep telling you, we are out of candy! What part do you have trouble understanding?" he shouted.

And then, the unthinkable happened. The oldest wolf eyed on Shifu's staff and when he came over, he picks it up and said, "I wonder if this stick breaks."

Shifu turns around and his anger level boiled from irritated to compltely enraged when he sees the oldest wolf grabbing Oogway's staff and he shouted, "YOU PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW!"

"Hey, boys! Catch!"

He threw the staff around and Shifu tried to catch it, but the youngest wolf pushed him down and caught the stick and they both played around with it, thinking of ways to break it in half. Shifu tried to stop them, but every chance he could get, it ends up being pushed, shoved and tormented by those teen wolves.

"If you break that staff...so help me you will receive a painful punishment." Shifu said, menacing.

"Who's gonna stop us?"

Shifu's face grew from strict to furious in a quick second and said in a menacing tone, "Me."

All the wolves laughed at him and the oldest one told him, "You? You're just a puny little raccoon!"

Shifu grew red in the face and screamed angrily, "I'M A RED PANDA! A RED PANDA, DAMMIT! GET IT THROUGH YOUR UNEDUCATED HEADS!"

The oldest wolf just scoffed at him, like he's not listening and said, "Whatever! Piss off!"

Then, he walked out of the door, spat on the stick with mounds of saliva and managed to urinate parts of it and threw the staff down on the ground and started laughing maniacally as did the other wolves and that drove Shifu to the brink of a anger-fueled rage to see him do that. The oldest wolf said, "What's so special about that stupid-looking stick, besides standing on it to attract ugly girls?"

All of the wolves left the palace and then, the oldest one said, "We'll be back...at midnight so you better bring in the candy, you old fag!"

Little did he know, they were going to the Sacred Peach Tree to hang out there and Shifu never felt this angry before when three young kids would totally disrespect him like that over some candy. He quickly went out of the palace and when he went to the steps, he saw it laying near the entrance. Luckily, it was still in good condition but was suddenly outraged when there was spit and wolf urine on the staff.

"Oh, they're so gonna wish they never messed with Master Shifu." Shifu said, in an angry menacing tone.

I don't really approve of swearing on my fics, but I had to put this out of my system. Besides, when you mess with Shifu, he'll put the hurt on ya. But on the next chapter, it's gonna be a little different. So...how'd I do on this?