DISCLAIMER
All characters from Hi-de-Hi! and It Ain't Half Hot Mum belong to David Croft and Jimmy Perry. (I'm just borrowing them...)
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'Hello campers! Welcome to Maplins Holiday Camp.'
The velvety voice of Gladys Pugh floated from the tannoy across the olympic-sized swimming pool. Several busloads of new campers were on their way to the chalets, many of them escorted by yellowcoats. It was the beginning of autumn, and there were only a few more weeks of work left for the Maplins staff. Most of the activities were taking place in the Hawaiian ballroom this week, as it was now raining twenty-four hours a day.
Gladys had just finished her announcement and played her signature Maplins tune on the tiny xylophone on her desk, when she heard someone come into the hall. Expecting it to be Jeffrey Fairbrother, she got up, walked over to the door and opened it seductively. Gladys could do anything seductively, especially when Jeffrey Fairbrother was involved. When she stepped into the hall, however, the Maplins entertainment manager was not there to greet her.
A man wearing a khaki-coloured overcoat stood there, soaked by the heavy rain, looking around confusedly and shivering. He had a moustache with pointy ends and a brown homburg hat which somehow did not seem to suit him very well. Gladys walked over to him.
'Hello, I'm Gladys Pugh,' she said kindly, 'I expect you're one of the new campers?'
The man gave a little start first, as he had not noticed her until she started to speak, but then he took off his homburg and shook her hand.
'Well, yes. I arrived a bit late, you see, and the camp seemed to be deserted.'
'Yes, they're all in their chalets by now.'
'So I came in 'ere. I hope you don't mind.'
'No, of course not. I'll help you get settled. Maybe you should take that coat off, it's soaked,' said Gladys. She held out her hands to take it. The man unbuttoned his dripping coat and handed it to her. Gladys looked at what he was wearing. His trousers were jungle green, his shirt khaki-coloured, and his checkered spencer was...green and khaki.
'Alright, let's find your chalet, Mr...'
'Oh, erm...Tudor Bryn Williams,' the man said hesitantly, 'I'm sorry, I was in the harmy back in India, you see. I'm not used to my name anymore. I don't even really like it, as a matter of fact.'
'Well, it's a good Welsh name,' said Gladys, making the man smile, 'but what are you used to being called, then?'
'Sergeant Major.'
'Let's find your chalet, Sergeant Major.'
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...to be continued.