Ring of Fire, by DrGemini86 (DrGemini24)

Summary: They went through rings all the time, but there was one ring that she hadn't counted on going through. SamDaniel. Lyrics featured are Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. Set in between Fallen and Orpheus. Fluffy oneshot and all that.

Pairing: SamDaniel

Rating: T

Category: New Romance

Genres: Angst, Drama, Post-Meridian Angst, Relationship-focussed, Romance-focussed, SongFic, Thoughts

Spoilers: like South Pacific Islands, little but plentiful


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I often have wondered just what it was that attracted me to Daniel in the first place, and during these epiphanies, which usually happen around midnight when I'm at home alone being the insomniac again, I come up with many reasons and factors, because, try as I might, I can't narrow it down to one. He's amazing… I think, first off, it was the fact that he had opened the Stargate in two weeks. That alone, regardless of expertise, suggested a brilliant… no, ridiculously more than brilliant mind.

Right… I knew that anyway.

Another thing that attracted me to him was his mind, his ability to think outside of the box and grasp concepts that aren't in his areas of expertise. Of course, over the years, I've tried to keep up with his work, but I've found it impossible. But him… oh wow.

"Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of fire…"

Then there was his compassion, his selflessness… his constant albeit annoying and highly distressing habit of giving his life for other people, including people he didn't know… and still not having an ego.

Anyway, he was married and if I was speaking, I'd do that awkward little shrug and a little smile that's half an embarrassed grimace. Sha're and her brother were taken from Abydos by Apophis, and Daniel spent the first two years of his time on…

Ah, yes, his inner strength is another thing that attracted me to him. He is fully capable of asserting himself in a military environment where seasoned officers are scared to speak up. If it hadn't been for that strength, he wouldn't have been on the team.

"I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher…"

I used to not be able to imagine him not being on the team, because he was always there, my best friend, colleague… team-mate, and admittedly, crush. God, that sounds so girly, doesn't it? I'm thirty-nine and crushing. Dear God. What am I coming to?

Anyway, I couldn't imagine it, and then it happened. One day, he wasn't there anymore. Of course, when Kelowna happened, I didn't think he would die. But he did… and he didn't. I'm not too sure about that, but what I do know is that he was gone for an entire year, a year which was the worst of my entire life. Before he died, as he lay there in so much pain after I tried in vain to heal him, I tried to tell him how I felt about him, how he had affected me, changed me in our time together as friends and team-mates, but the words wouldn't come out.

"And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire…"

During that year, I let go of my feelings for him. I can't remember when I first loved him as more than a friend… it just happened. I loved my best friend but I knew he didn't feel the same for me. But it didn't matter because he was there.

And then he wasn't, and I regretted not telling him the things that I felt I should have. Because, in our jobs, you never know which 'gate trip could be your last, which drive to work could be your last. In such cases, why do we still not take those chances?

"I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher…"

When we found him again on Vis Uban, his memory gone, it scared me. What if his brain had been damaged? His mind was the most valuable thing that he possessed, the tool with which he had got us out of the trickiest of situations. Without that, he would still be Daniel, because Daniel is a multi-faceted character, but it wouldn't have been the same.

I sometimes lie awake at night seeing those blue eyes, devoid of recognition of me, of all of us; boring into my very soul. I have never seen him look at me like that before. It was such an intense look… it scared me. Daniel, in his right mind, has never scared me. I say 'right mind', because there have been some freaky moments when he's been compromised by either a sarcophagus or other alien influences.

"And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire…"

What affected me the most about that day when we found him alive was a question; one simple question that I had often pondered the reasons as to why there wasn't a 'yes' to it.

'Was there ever anything between us?'

Memories or not, the guy knows how to shock a girl. I stammered. I was taken aback… I still am. We've never talked about anything like that between us, not since he mentioned about me and the Colonel being engaged in another reality. He looked awkward talking about it… or maybe it was just my imagination and wishful thinking.

I said 'no', but was sent reeling by wondering at light speeds why he had asked that. Not only that, but I realised then, truly that I had fallen in love with him. I finally knew. It wasn't just a crush anymore. Love burned me to the core but what scared me and kept me awake many nights was that I wanted to be burned, to be consumed in the fiery flames of passion.

It certainly made for some very pleasant dreams.

"The taste of love is sweet
When hearts like ours meet
I fell for you like a child
Oh, but the fire went wild…"

When he came home, his memory gradually began to return… and only Daniel Jackson, with a Swiss cheese memory, could pull off sabotage aboard a Goa'uld mothership. Didn't I tell you that he's amazing?

Mm-hm, Swiss cheese. That was Colonel O'Neill's birthday present to him last week. That man is something. Six years ago, he gave me a Barbie in a blue dress which I politely threatened to embed in his coccyx, which resulted in a series of bewildered expressions and then one of amusement when he surmised the wrong part of his anatomy as being his coccyx. Typical Colonel O'Neill.

"I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher…"

I can't seem to get this off my mind… not Colonel O'Neill's humour… well, ok, that too… No, what I meant was that I can't get this whole Daniel… situation, if it can be called that, off my mind. Did he mean anything by that question? He's a very open minded guy – he could have asked the Colonel that same question… maybe if he had remembered his name. I'm not quite sure where 'Jim' came from, but has his odd moments too.

"And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire…"

I stand outside his office, rehearsing the words I want to say to him, only nothing is good enough. I'm pushing forty – why does everything I come up with right now sound as though it's coming from the hackneyed teen dramas that Cassie used to watch?

Janet says that it's because I need a man.

She can talk. She's too busy fixing people up that she's… well, maybe it's her way of living vicariously through other people. She's been burned before… not in a good way, you understand. I have it on good authority that her ex-husband was a chauvinist.

I nearly leap out of my skin when I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look to see none other than Daniel standing next to me, looking a little amused and ready to tease me. I like this new dynamic we've had since he got his memories back. He's more protective of me, which is nice, and he teases me gently about me getting lost in work or ranting about sci-fi movies.

He asks me as he opens his door before I can form questions in my mind as to whether he's an alien clone… what was he doing out of his office? The guy practically lives there,

"What's up, Sam? You've never mumbled to yourself in front of my door before."

I don't answer and he must have seen something in my face because he takes me by the hand, leading me into his office.

Did I mention that he has nice hands?

He sits me down and kneels in front of me, holding my hands as he asks, looking worried, "Sam? Tell me what's wrong."

I shake my head and he gives me 'the look', which is his way of telling me that he won't take 'no' for an answer, on pain of heavy conscience. I sigh and I ask, looking down at him and wondering how I ever managed without him,

"Have you ever burned but welcomed it with open arms?"

"I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher…"

To anyone else, I would sound nuts, but I know he understands. His eyes search mine and then he says, his gaze falling away from mine, making me miss his beautiful blue eyes, "Yes."

"And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire…"

He asks, looking up at me again but this time looking hurt, "It's Jack, isn't it?"

He's hurt? This might sound sadist of me, but I've never been happier to see him hurt. I smile and touch his chin when his gaze drops again. He looks up once more and I kiss him, just a gentle one on the lips, and I say,

"No."

He looks absolutely stunned and then asks, his eyebrows going up, "No?"

I nod and he grins at me, touching my cheek as he whispers, "Oh Sam… you have no idea…"

"And it burns, burns, burns…"

We kiss once again, this time a lot more than what could pass for platonic, thankfully. And you know what? It feels right. It feels good. We hug and I whisper,

"I'm sorry for not telling you for a long time. I didn't know. I didn't know a lot of things."

His fingers play with my hair as he replies, grinning boyishly, "Me too. I didn't think you were associating me with combustion."

I kiss his neck and I know I have to tell him first, because he won't do it. Despite our growing closeness, the reaffirmation of our friendship since his return from being dead and not dead, he doesn't do things like that because he's been hurt so much.

"I love you."

I feel him smile against my neck and he replies, "I love you too." He says, now looking at me with that same boyish smile, his face glowing, "We're burning together."

I kiss him, my chest feeling a lot lighter as I reply, grinning, "What a lovely way to burn."

Corny, I know, but it does the job.

"The ring of fire

The ring of fire…"

– Fin

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Who will post a nice l'il review,
Telling me you read it now?"