Disclaimer: Juuni Kokki does not belong to me.

Title: I Never Thought
Anime: Juuni Kokki/Twelve Kingdoms
Rating: PG-13
1st Person's

Summary: Enki in debate of his life and his hopes at the feet of a man he given everything too.

All my hopes and dreams rested on his shoulder. I had never thought I would be doing this, bowing down at the feet of my lord and new master. The chosen one that I had offered everything my life, my allegiance, and even the Kingdom that I was responsible for--

I had never thought that the pain in my heart would throb from all the hope I lay to rest on the feet of Shouryuu. I never thought that I would grow to love him--and for that I felt myself falling into a field of despair and pain.

The Kingdom of Yun in my eyes was a pile of land and poverish citizens. I fear what would happen like in the past of where I was left by my biological parents from the other side. I fear that my Kingdom of Yun would lay to waste and I the Kirin Enki would have caused it to suffer. But if I did nothing, if I did not pick a King then my Kingdom would still suffer.

And--so now I picked a man that I knew led his men to battle they fought valiantly but lost. Those he was around felt their spirits lifted and still they came back the villagers to try to save him, and still they all perished, and he Shouryuu shedded tears for their deaths.

That was what touched me the compassion that was held in Shouryuu's eyes and yet a steeling wall that hide the depth of his feelings and responsilibites. Supposedly he reminded me of myself a position that was thrusted to me. For I am a Taiho a Pedestal Helper a Guardian that speaks for God and their Lords to make them hear the people's cries. I am the half of my Lord the conscious and I never wanted that sort of responsibilities. I Rokuta didn't want to be a Kirin, I didn't want to shoulder a burden of a Kingdom.

But things changed I couldn't run away just like Shouryuu my vows proved that I stopped running from my destiny. There was no escape and even though I feel trepidation whenever Shouryuu does things that seem wrong in my eyes. Four hundred years we had lived together built up the Yun Kingdom. Four hundred years we laid with one another as partners me burdening the heaviness of the throne and him trying to steady it with his weight.

Sometimes there is a weariness in my body when I take a step forward, I feel like I would collapse in pain, but late at night when I wake up from my dreams. I feel the warmth of another body wrapped around me, and I feel safe. And my faith is restored once again.

Maybe it is the Enki in me that wants to believe, and maybe it is the Rokuta that is comforted by strong arms, telling me that I don't always have to carry the weight all by myself. I am a Kirin, and yet I am a Rokuta, I am myself. That is what I like to believe. That I would always never be alone with my responsibilities.

Owari