Tom was on his way home from a party late at night. He was so drunk, he couldn't even get to his car, so he had to walk home. He was mumbling gibberish and stumbling all over the place. What Tom didn't know was that the things he was saying were magic words used for bringing the dead back to life, in other words, creating zombies. Decayed bodies burst from the ground. They all followed Tom because, with all his groaning and stumbling, they thought he was their zombie leader. After what seemed like forever, Tom was finally almost home, zombies still trailing Behring. He mistook Edduardo's house for his own and knocked on the door clumsily. Edduardo angrily yanked open the door with anger.
" Jon, I thought I told you to stay away and I hate you! I just knew you'd come crawling ba- oh, it's you, Tom... Go home you looooossssszzzZOMBIES!" Edduardo screamed as he slammed the door hard in Toms face.
"Oops, wr-wrong mouse, I mean... Uh... House, yeah house, that's what I said. I gotta get drunk I'm home..." slurred Tom.
Tom tripped over to his own lawn while half of the zombie mob shattered the windows of Edduardo's house and crawled in hungry for his brain. He rang the doorbell of the house and Edd appeared in the doorway.
" Hey Tom, where have you been? Are you okay you don't look so swell... Are you drunk?" Edd asked sternly
" Ah you got me there Edd, I SWEAR TO DRUNK I'M NOT GOD!" Screamed Tom randomly.
" Oh great, first Matt broke his mirror, and now Tom's drunk... How swell." Said Edd with sarcasm.
Edd looked up at Tom.
" OH MY GOD, TOM!" Screamed Edd.
" What? I'm alwaaaaaays drunk." Said Tom.
" UM! ZOMBIES ARE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!" Yelled Edd.
" Well, that would explain the weird groaning that I've been hearing, other than my own..." Tom said with trouble.
" Hey guys, what's goi- ZOMBIES!" screamed Matt.
" Yup, we have a real problem..." Said Edd.
" Holy pineapple under a fat guy,that zombie liiks like Tord!" screamed Tom unnecessarily loud.
" Don't be silly, that can't be... HE HAS A GUN! screamed Edd.
" Run!" shouted Matt.
" Faster Tom!" encouraged Edd.
" I'm going as fast as I possibly can,I can barely see in front of me you know!" retorted Tom as he zigzagged in never-ending circles, arms flailing clumsily.
" Fine, get on my back, you sorry excuse for a person!" said Edd, trying his best to insult Tom.
" Thank *hiccup* you" said Tom.
" If you don't mind me asking, WHERE ARE WE EVEN GOING!" panicked Matt.
" Um, somewhere!" answered Edd unsure of the actual answer.
" Over the rainbow!" sang Tom in a high, unnatural voice.
" DIE!" said Tord coming up from behind.
" AH, HE'S FAST!" Matt pointed out.
" Thank you, captain obvious." said Tom.
" I was just saying, you know zombies are known to be slow and..." Matt trailed off.
" Oh, broccoli..." muttered Edd to himself.
" Mmm, broccoli!" whispered Tom into Edd's ear. Edd could smell the Smirnoff lingering in his putrid breath.
" Oh my goodness Tom, pull yourself together!" said Edd.
Tom snored and drooled in Edd's ear.
" Is he asleep?" asked Edd.
" Yup..." huffed Matt from behind him.
" Tom suddenly sprung to life.
" Look, a porta-loo!" yelled Tom.
" I hope it has a mirror!" said Matt.
The gang squeezed in the small bathroom and Tom went straight to the toilet feeling like he was going to throw up, but of course he wasn't because he had no gag reflex. Everything went silent. All of the sudden, Tord kicked open the door with great force.
" What do you want from us, Tord?!" asked Edd frantically.
" After I left Eddsworld, everyone set me as an outcast, asking me to rejoin and how they didn't want me to be my own, I couldn't even say my own name, Edward! You took me out from the show in a stupid way, and I paid for it, now you have to pay! Plus, I despise Tom, and Matt, I'm hungry and brains are scarce so, sorry man." Tord explained. " Now, I'm gonna shoot you with my guns, and I'll eat your brains!"
Tom squinted his sockets and turned his head to meet Tord's eyes.
" But it's opposite day." Tom said in a smooth, defiant voice.
" OH NOOOOOO!" screamed Tord before he turned the gun to his own head and pulled the trigger.
" I'll get you one day Tom, and your little friends to..." said Tord with his dying breath.
" Good thinking Tom!" said Edd with relief.
" Wait, if it's opposite day, doesn't that mean we have to eat his brains?" asked Matt.
" Oh, Matt, hehehehehe!" laughed Edd.
" Yup, now let's go home and get me drunk." said Tom with a snicker.

-END OF STORY # 1-