Disclaimer: Shockingly, I don't own NCIS.
A/N: A box-related fic for Boxing Day. [And wow, that sounded a lot less cheesy in my head. ;-)] Enjoy!
The box is empty, and Ziva does not know whether she is more disappointed or relieved. She suspects that it is mainly relief that she feels, and she is not certain how she feels about that.
She likes Ray, does she not? And she chose to become an American citizen because she wanted to belong somewhere, wanted permanence. So why is she relieved that there is no ring in this box? By rights, she ought to be disappointed or angry. An empty box is an empty promise, after all, and Ziva David has never been one to tolerate empty promises.
The fact that he gave her a box – even an empty one – shows that he is taking them seriously, though. Surely that is a good thing? Only… and she hates herself a little bit for thinking this… does it? Or is it merely an intelligence agent's attempt at manipulation? She cares for Ray, but she does not trust him. Especially after he lied to her. Yes, he gave her information in an attempt at reconciliation, but re-earning trust is not that simple.
After a lifetime of lies, Ziva is wary of deceit, weary of deceit. She refuses to be betrayed by someone she loves yet again. There are very few people in this world that Ziva trusts (almost) implicitly, and Ray is not one of them. He might have had a chance at making that list (someday in the far future) before his indiscretion, but his chances are now nearly in the negative numbers. Only one person has ever managed to get back on her list after breaking her trust, and he has always been an exception. Ray – much though she cares for him – is not exception-worthy in Ziva's book.
Her glance returns to the small black box sitting on her bedside table.
What is this empty box supposed to signify? Ray said that it was a promise, but he never specified what that promise was. That he will return? That he wants to marry her someday? That he is not certain enough of their future to actually purchase a ring?
She is confused.
In Greek mythology, a curious Pandora opens a box and unleashes evils upon the world. As she despairs, however, she discovers that Hope still remains in the box. Perhaps this empty box that Ray gave her is supposed to symbolize hope for their relationship?
Ziva wants more than hope; needs more than hope.
She needs certainty, permanence. She needs someone whom she can trust. She needs…
She does not know what she needs, and this bothers her. Ziva has always been assertive, decisive. To be so utterly at ocean is a new and entirely frustrating experience.
Ziva cares a great deal for Ray. She simply is not certain if that is enough.
And when she thinks about being with Ray for the rest of her life…
Well, perhaps it is just as well that the ring box is empty.