CHAPTER ONE~UPDATES AND UPCHUCKS
My dad's a homophobic and my mom's a homo, which doesn't make a good mix. That's why they went opposite directions, leaving me in the crossfire. You could say I hated the experience. Or you could say I hated my parents. Whatever. All I can say is that when you take one fragment out of the equation, another one is put in.
And that's where Shires—which is a better name for a dog, I believe—comes in and marries my dad. And guess what she brings along? Her son.
Now, I'm not one to judge. Sure, he might be tall and sexy as hell, I'll admit, but he's a real…
Let's just say: "Army brat"...
It isn't a picnic, living in the small town of Hoax, Oregon. But Shires Manahan and her eighteen year old son, Nate, are sure as hell going to burn down what I thought was my life as a "non-picnic" so far. I mean, she's got to be the most plastic person in the world. And him! God, I'm not even going to go into that!
I'm not ungrateful or unkind. It's just that I've been a little moody ever since I found out Carmen—my adopted older brother—is coming home for Spring Break.
And who'd be happy about that?
If he hadn't claimed his undying love for me, I definitely would.
Mimi Ogosawagi, my best friend and future lawyer, said it wasn't odd at all that a guy that was family was in love with me. All I said to her was "huh?" so she went on explaining that we're not blood-related and…well, she can't blame him.
Well, that's nice for her, but I do!
Can't a guy control those things? I mean, I do it every freaking day of my life, and he goes and…!
Breathe, Elaina, breathe. You're getting way off topic here. You were talking about Shires and Nate, remember?
Oh, and by the way, I also have a little voice in my head. Has everything gotten so out-of-hand that I depend on a second-person sanity in my own mind?
Yeah. Kind of.
Shut up!