Chapter One: Just this Once

Hotaru's POV

"NOOOO" I woke screaming and gasping for breath. The book that had been covering my face fell to the floor with a loud thud. I sat up and calmed my ragged breathing. I ached all over, and the wound on my side had started bleeding. 'It was just a dream'. I looked over at the clock 4:37pm, and picked up the math text book I had been studying and set it on the table by the couch. 'I'm going to fail this test' I thought to myself, curling back against the couch shutting my eyes. Instantly images of the dream flowed into my mind, the bright open plains, their laughter turning into screams as bodies hit the floor, lifeless. I squeezed my eyes together tighter trying to block out the images. Trying not to remember, calming the tears trying to escape, I will not cry about the past. Trying to forget…..

'Ding dong' I opened my eyes startled, no one ever came here.

"One sec" I shouted getting up, tidying my hair. I ran over to the door.

"Oh, hi Tastuki, Orihime" I greeted them hiding my bleeding side.

"Hey we're all going to town with Ichigo and them and just wandering if you want to come" Tastuki smiled.

"Sure just let me get ready". I ran up the stairs and took off my bloody shirt, wrapped it in some bandages and pulled a blue dress with diamond shapes on over my shorts and a fresh tank top, grabbed my bag and looked in the mirror. Taking a brush and running it through hair that ran down to my legs and putting clips into bluish, greenish side bangs that draped over my shoulders. This was a good ways to get my mind off things I thought running back down stairs but it's been so long and it's only once.

"So where are we going?" I asked,
"Shopping!" Orihime exclaimed.

"Shopping why?"

"Have you forgotten there's a big party next week and we're all invited, I think I'm going to wear……" she kept going but I just lost interest and stopped paying attention. 'That's right the party's next week'.

"Hey Ichigo!" I looked up and caught sight of the bright orange hair.

"Hey Hotaru, haven't seen you in awhile" Ichigo greeted me.

"Well I've been pretty busy lately"

"Really, I've had fewer jobs lately, anyways glad you could make it". I smiled at him, both of our words had hidden meaning, he didn't realize mine but I know what he was really talking about. In fact I knew all about his secret life as a soul reaper.

"Where to first?" Rukia asked I looked around at the group of people: Ichigo, Tastuki, Orihime, Rukia, Uryuu, Keigo, Mizuiro, Renji, Toshiro and Rangiku. We chattered all the way to the store, I looked off into the distance my mind wandering.

"Come on" Rangiku pulled on my arm, "this store has some really cute stuff".
I was watching Rangiku come in and out of the stall, 'man she's fast' I thought. We had all agreed to meet in 2 hours at the central mall to eat.

"Hey Hotaru aren't you going to try some things on?' Orihime asked coming up beside me.

"Um I'm not too sure what to get" I said standing up.

"Well I got some really good idea's come on". Rangiku was out again, this time in her clothes. I was half pulled half dragged to the dresses section. And in about 3 seconds flat there were about 5 dresses loaded into my arms and I was dragged to the changing stalls.

After we went through what seemed like all the stores in Karakura town I had 3 bags in each hand, full of all kinds of unnecessary clothes and accessories. And finally Tastuki looked at her watch and declared we should get going to the meeting place.

"So where was it again" Orihime put a hand to her head" no one else seemed not to know either. I rolled my eyes.

"Come on, it's a block away follow me".

"Wow you really know this town well" Rangiku said running up by my side, "do your parents take you out a lot?" I looked down and winced as the pain went strat to my side.

"My parents died when I was seven, my best friend took care of me". Rangiku stopped

"When you were seven! How old is your friend"?

"My friend was 21", "was"?

"Ya he was in an accident and died when I was eight." I looked into her eyes and saw the deep sadness. I tried to smile

"It's ok through I had Ichigo so I wasn't alone, they had me over for dinner almost every night, his dad is so nice, I even stay overnight when there's storms and I can't get home". She still didn't look convinced "and I have lots of really nice friends who look after me". She looked me in the eye and was about to say something but was cut off by Tastuki.

"I see them" with that she ran ahead and shouted to get their attention.

"Wow you bought a lot of stuff" Keigo exclaimed when he saw Rangiku who had about what seemed like 20 bags in her arms.

"Do you need so help with that" Mizuiro came up to help Rangiku.

"Did you have a good time" I jumped and spun around to see Ichigo with a few bags and a box in a bag.

"Yup, Rangiku sure like shopping I think we when through every store in town" I grinned at him.

"Hey are you two coming?" He looked at us and smirked "but if you want to be alone that's cool".

"Shut up" Ichigo shouted at Renji, then grabbed my arm and ran toward the rest of the waiting group, who were all smiling or more like smirking. I looked down to hide the blush on my face. I was once again dragged but this time by Ichigo. The restaurant had few people in it and we attracted a lot of attention as we chattered about what to order.

"So what are you getting" Ichigo smiled "I'll order for us"

"Fries and a drink" I mumbled while getting 10 dollars out of my purse and handing it to him. He stepped up to order. Looking at my hands I wandered what was wrong with me. Ichigo and I were best friends. We were always together when we were little; he was always there to comfort me and help me back up. So why did I feel so awkward around him, maybe because it's been so long since and so many things had happened. I looked up at him arguing with myself, I didn't want him to get mixed up in my problems but it was so hard, being alone, sleepless nights of fearing the past.

"Hey, hurry up slowpokes everyone's waiting". I looked just in time to see as Keigo's arm that had been waving madly being pushed down by Rukia and Rangiku while Renji whispered furiously in his ear. Uryuu and Mizuiro smirked while Tastuki laughed. Standing at the other side of the room I couldn't hear their conversation but I could already guess what they were saying. I looked back at Ichigo to see him picking up the tray of food and then trying to pick up his bags. I giggled and hurried up to help him.

"Here let me get those" I said taking the bags off his hands.

"Thanks that helps" he laughed. The table was surrounded by a big couch that was shaped like a circle. Ichigo sat down beside me and set the tray down suddenly I realized I was sitting between Ichigo and Renji.

"I wander what the party's going to be like" Orihime broke the silence.

"I just hope we're not asked to dance" Toshiro grumbled taking a sip from his drink, he looked like he was thinking about some thing…or someone. Just then Renji move closer to me so I moved over but he moved again. 'Oh no' I thought realizing finally realizing the plan here when my shoulder was almost leaning against Ichigo's. Seeing Rukia who was trying to hide the giggles and act normal I thought about saying I had to go the washroom and get out of this, but my eye started to feel heavy. I had forgotten what it was like to be near someone, the empty feeling was replaced by warmth. I leaned my full weight on him he looked at me a little surprised; I could hear the exited whispering from the other girls. I blushed 'no if I really cared about Ichigo I shouldn't get him involved to close'. I made a move to get up but froze as Ichigo wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. All the muscles in my body relaxed, even though my side still hurt, I felt sleep taking over. 'No I shouldn't be doing this after what's happened before, this was my problem'. But I don't want to be alone anymore, my eyes closed. I felt safe and happy, surrounded by friends for the first time in a long time. I wasn't alone.