THAT DARN GRIAFFE DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE AT SOCCER
One beautiful night in Forks, Washington, Rosalie decided to go to a bar with Emmett. They found drunk humans to be rather… hilarious. Emmett came up with some strange idea that he wanted to get drunk, but how to do so? He found a way. Using Carlisle's medical tools, he injected vodka and laughing gas into some grizzlies. Then it got interesting. Rosalie, to her own dismay, was much too thirsty to watch Emmett and be the designated driver, so against her own will, she drank the drunk animals. WOO! They are now both drunk. Now what to do.. They get in an odd debate whether to drive monster trucks over the pyramids in Egypt or go Dragon hunting in outer space. Over the heated debate, they end up doing a classic Hollywood move: intense fighting to ferociously making out… so they run off, still drunk, to Paris and have sex on top of the Eiffel Tower. Now lying around, waiting for the drunkness the wear off, a night guard discovers them. He starts to read the laws of being there at night when Emmett yells 'SHUT UP BITCH' and kicks him, with that vampire strength, in that place that noo guy wants to be kicked… they wont be bothered anymore tonight.
THE END