Why is the world spinning? Why won't it stop? Why can't i just go to live with my father in the fields of the dead? I just want it to end, this horrible suffocating sensation that is enveloping me in grief. Death is such an ugly thing, isn't it? I wish I was never born, I wish that I could just go back in time and try to fix my mistakes. But i can't. And now Percy's dead because of me. What am i going to do without him? You might say: move on, Nico, who cares? Well maybe I care. Maybe I don't want to live without his dorkish smile lighting up my otherwise miserable day.
I looked down at the people below me; good honest New Yorkers who don't give a crap about me or my problems, not to mention anybody around them. They are like ants down there, as I stand on the roof of a random building. If i where to jump, I would die, I would just become a dark splotch on the sidewalk, no one would care about it. They would just forget.
Percy: kind, selfless, annoying, beautiful.
Me: dark, antisocial, helpless, a person who makes to many mistakes and makes them too big, a person that only a fellow monster could love. And that's what I am. A monster. Just a silly little monster.
I wish Bianca was here. Or Hazel. I need someone to pull me out of this, I need someone to help me climb out of the dark pit I've buried myself in. but no one will, because no one cares. They are sad, annabeth hasn't come out of her cabin, and piper won't talk to me, all because I screwed up. Really bad, and Percy paid the price. Maybe if I just jump, I will end the misery that is a black spike, drilling into my chest constantly. My poor Percy. He was always so sweet. I didn't want him to end that way. He died to save me from... that. His last action was for me. And all I ever was was mean to him. Cold and stubborn, never to tell him my feelings. So here I am, ready to jump, to end the pathetic tragedy of Nico di Angelo, to become a grease spot on the pavement.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, so, so very sorry, Percy. For everything. For messing up." I mutter to myself, my feet balanced on the edge of the building, as I lean forward, as i jump. Air rushes past me as I fall, all the weight of life blown off my shoulders, as I acquire the ability to be happy, something I haven't really done since Bianca died, if only for a moment. And then my back hits the ground and everything goes black.