I don't wanna lose you now
Olivia walks into her apartment when her cellphone goes off. Overwhelmed with grieve she lets it ring. Nothing matters anymore now that Alex is gone. Her world crashed down when Alex couldn't answer her question because there was no answer to it. She knew that Alex would miss her as much as she would miss her. She didn't know what to do. She saw the same look in Alex's eyes as she knew she had in her own. She knew then and there why Alex refused to go in WPP without letting her know that she was still alive.
Even though they hadn't said it to each other Olivia knows they need each other to survive this. Olivia loves the young attorney more then life itself. She fell in love with her the first day the blonde attorney marched into the squad room. She never told Alex that she loves her. And after yesterday she thought she would never get that chance to tell her. Now at least she knows that Alex is alive.
The ringing of her cellphone stops for a few seconds before it goes off again. She answers without looking who it is, knowing that is Elliot to check on her.
"Leave me alone Elliot. I don't wanna talk with you. Nothing you will say to me, will help. So don't even try. Alex is gone and nothing you can do to change it."
"Liv, I just want to know how you are doing. I..."
"I'm great, couldn't be better. Now leave me alone." Olivia says sarcastic before hanging up.
After a minute her cellphone rings again.
" Which part of leave me alone don't you understand Stabler. Now stop calling me and go harass someone else!"
" Detective Benson, it's Jack Hammond. And you are as much a pain in the ass as Ms. Cabot is."
"Screw you, Hammond. What do you want? Alex dropped the case and still got shot. What could you possibly want from me? And don't you dare to speak about Alex like that ever again or I will kick your ass so hard that you really know what pain in the ass is."
" Shut up Detective. Damn it, what is it with you two? Cabot first refused to go in WPP without letting you know she's still alive. She demanded to let me see you. Now she orders me, yes you heard that right, she orders me to let you speak with her otherwise she will kick my ass and won't leave. And you are defending her like you are her damn personal guard dog! "
" Where is she? Let me talk to her!"
"You know I can't tell you where she is. I shouldn't let her see you in the first place. I broke every rule by allowing that. Now I'm breaking the rules again by calling you right now. That's where I draw the line."
"She wants to speak with me, so put her on the phone. You know as well as I do she won't go if you don't do it. Tell me where she is and I guarantee you she will go. I'll make her go. And I don't take no as answer too."
" She wanted to let you know she is still alive. I did that. Now she wants to talk to you what's next? So why would I tell where she is and break the rules again? What makes you think that you can make her leave?"
" You want to know how I can make her go? I tell you how. If you tell me where she is, she will go because I'm going with her! And I know for sure that she will be going then."
" As crazy as that is, I hate to admit you're right. She will go. And as the guard dog that you are she will be safer that way too. And you both stop being a pain in my ass. I assume that you refuse to go without letting Stabler know you're going with her, IF I tell you where she is?"
"Stop beating around the bush, Hammond. We both know that I'm going. I don't need to tell Elliot that I'm going. The one thing I want is to be an SVU Detective where ever we go. I can use my vacation and sick days for leaving New York, if necessary. So how do you want to do this? Tell me where she is, or send a SUV to pick me up? We will tell Alex that I'm going when I'm with her."
" So instead of Stabler you want to call your Captain. I don't think your vacation and sick days will be enough Detective. I think I can arrange that you'll be a detective. But it takes some time to get you into SVU in a other city. You will stay in a hotel for the night and then to a safe house. Probably for 2 weeks."
"I have 5 years left. So I think that will cover it."
"5 years? Damn it Benson, when was the last time you took a vacation or sick day? You know what, don't answer that question I don't wanna know it! You can call your Captain in the SUV. You have 1 hour the time to pack your things no more."
" I'm ready now, so just send the damn SUV!"
" I guessed you would say that. Come outside in 5 minutes and I will take you to the hotel."
" Fine, see you in 5."
Olivia takes her backpack and tosses clothes and toiletries in it. Puts her badge and gun back on her belt. She picks up her keys and walks out the door.
Just when Olivia leaves her apartment building a black SUV stops in front of her. The window of the passenger door opens.
" Get in Benson." Hammond says.
Olivia opens the door takes a seat and closes the door.
" Hello Hammond."
"Hello Detective. We will be at the hotel in 20 minutes so I suggest you call your Captain. After that call you shot down your cellphone and put it in the dashboard. Did you packed anything at all Detective?"
" Yes, I packed some clothes and toiletries."
" That's all you needed to pack? You don't need anything else to take with you?"
"No Hammond, I don't need anything else to take with me."
" Ok Benson. Tell Cragen what you want. But if you want to tell him the truth you need to use my cellphone. Your choice."
" Give me your cellphone then. He deserves to know the truth and I know for sure he won't tell anyone not even Stabler. Do I need to take my vacations and sick days?"
" Take 2 weeks. By then everything should be ready."
Hammond hands his cellphone to Olivia. Olivia takes a deep breath and calls Cragen.
" Cragen."
" Captain, it's Olivia."
"Liv, are you ok? Is there something I can do for you?"
" Yes, I would like to take some of the vacations days I have build up. 2 weeks to be exact."
" Are you ok Liv? You can take more if you want to. It's not like you don't have any left after that. I know you and Alex were close friends. So it must be hard for you. If you need more time off just tell me. It won't be problem you can take as much time as you need."
" Captain there is no easy way to tell you this so I'm gonna say it just as it is. Alex is alive. Hammond wanted to meet us because Alex refused to go in Witsec and leave without saying goodbye to me. She asked for Elliot too so there would be someone there for me."
" Damn Liv. That's a big secret she makes you keep. And Elliot too. Why are you telling me this Olivia? I know you wouldn't tell me this without a reason. You would have take it with you in to your grave when your old. Are you sure you don't need more time off?"
" No Captain I don't need more time off. And you're right I tell you this for a reason. When I came home about 15 minutes ago my cellphone went of. First Elliot called me but I shut him down. Then my cellphone rang again. I thought it was Elliot again but it was Hammond. Alex ordered she wanted to talk with me. Now you know Alex, so Hammond called me. He said that Alex refused to go if she couldn't talk with me. Alex doesn't know it yet, but I'm on my way to her as we speak. I'm going with her Captain. That's why I need two weeks vacation days. After that everything will be arranged. We'll go to a safehouse tomorrow. That's why I'm calling you to let you know. You know the drill, Don't tell anyone. Not even Elliot. I'm sorry to drop this into your lap like this."
"I know the drill. I have one question and as I assume you are in the car with Hammond right now just answer with yes or no. I think I know the answer. Do you love her, Olivia?"
"Yes, sir."
"That's what I thought. Liv, Alex loves you too, very much. Don't ask how I know that. You are like a daughter to me and fathers just know that kind of stuff. You made the right decision Olivia. Alex needs you. Now more then ever. I don't have to tell you to keep her safe. Because I know you will protect her with your life. But when I saw you so broken, I just knew you love her just as much as she loves you. Just keep the both of you safe detective, that is the only thing I can ask."
" I will sir. The best I can. You are the same to me."
" I now everything is unsure right now, but when you come back there always be a place for you here at SVU. Just so you know. Now go get your woman Benson and keep her safe."
"Thank you, that means a lot to me. As for Alex, you know I will."
" Now since we don't know when the two of you will come back, tell Alex she has my blessing, when the time is right. Make an honest woman of her if you get the chance, Olivia. Take care."
" I will tell her that. I need to go now. You and the guys mean a lot to me. And I'm gonna miss you but you're right I need to do this. Thanks for everything Captain. Goodbye."
"Goodbye Olivia."
Olivia gives Hammond his cellphone back.
"Thanks for letting me call the Captain."
" Ok. Now normally we just give people there identity and they have to do it with that. But since we are breaking every rule there is already and given the fact you are a Detective, I will discus this with you. How ever you can't talk about this with Alex. Normally we keep contact with the witness but we have contact from our side only if it's really necessary. I know you will protecting Alex at all costs. Since you are continue to be a detective, I will make a deal with you. I will keep you posted as much as I can. Tell you as much as I can. But under one condition. You won't go after Velez, or who shot Alex, by yourself. Do we have a deal?"
"Yes, we have. I know it cost you your job if they find out you tell me everything you know. So I promise you I won't go by myself. All I want is to keep Alex safe. So I really appreciate what you're willing to do for me."
"I know you are woman of your word so I trust you for that. Now one other thing. About your new identities. The best cover would be if you are a married couple. Now I'm not blind or stupid. So if it possible for me to get you there, would you like to go to a place where you can be legally married or not? I now that it is the last thing on your mind right now, but we don't now how long you need to keep hiding."
" If you can make that possible do it. You tell Alex I told you to do it, you know what I will do."
"Yeah I know. Don't worry I won't tell her. We will change you legal status in engaged then. But I give you one advice. Don't wait too long Benson. Go get your woman because you know better then anyone how short life can be. You get a second chance take it."
"I know. Why do think I insist to go with her?"
" We're almost there. Shut down your cellphone and put in the dashboard. You can keep your badge and gun. Your new life starts now. In a few days you will have a new identity."
Olivia shuts down her cellphone and puts it in the dashboard.
" I'm ready. It's like going undercover, the only difference is it can be longer than I have done before and I have to keep Alex safe."
" Should have known you will see it that way. And I guess your right. You have done long undercover ops so you can handle it. Don't forget that for Alex it's different. For her it's the first time. She loses everything she has accept you."
"I know. I will be there for her. Now we had enough cheesy talk don't you think?"
"Yeah you're right. I forgot you have been in a guys world most of your time."
" Yep. Cop mode for now I think?"
"Yes, we are there now."
And with that their conversation was over. They still don't like each other but they both are professionals and know they have to work together to keep Alex safe. Olivia prepared herself that there was a chance that Alex would brake down and that she needed to be there Alex.