Jack Runs Wild
By Stargate-Lover, Excerts taken from an RP at his homepage
Originally Roleplayed by the characters Major Samantha Carter, Dr Daniel Jackson and Colonel Jack O'Neill
Sam walked into her lab and closed the door quietly behind her. She went over to the computer and switched it on, waited for it to boot up and sat down. The door opened and Jack entered the room. He looked around at the countless experiments before sitting down next to Sam, he stared at the blank computer screen.
"Nice program." He remarked.
Sam chuckled, "Yeah, it keeps me occupied for hours."
By now the computer should have loaded, it seemed to have frozen again,
"Damn it!" Sam said, resisting the urge to hit the computer.
Jack kicked the computer's base unit and smiled as writing began to fill the screen. He stood and moved over to a Naquadah reactor, he was unsure of what it was. He was curious so he flicked the 'ON' switch and a sharp blast of energy filled the room.
"Aaaarggghhh! Carter you should have these things labelled properly.
Sam was about to thank Jack for the not so conventional computer help when the blast of energy occurred. She ran over to it and flicked the 'OFF' switch,
"Sir, if you don't understand what it is don't touch it! In this room it's likely to be dangerous and occasionally explosive. Maybe I should put a sign on the door saying 'DO NOT TOUCH UNLESS YOU WISH TO SPEND A FEW DAYS IN THE INFIRMARY.'"
After her comment Jack stepped away from another machine that he had been about to switch on.
"Really Carter you should label these better. Even I don't know what half of them are, any moron could walk in here and start an explosion!"
"Colonel…the only people that dare to come in here are you and the rest of SG1, they know not to touch!" She moved the reactor away from Jack before sitting down again, "Do you go into Daniel's room or General Hammond's Office and mess around with their books and files?"
Jack cocked his head,
"Carter have you been spying on me? That's my favourite hobby! It really annoys them! Hey, do you wanna come and do it to Daniel?"
The computer brought up a nearly finished report,
"I don't know sir, I have this report to finish before we head out to PX4 434."
Jack moved back over to the computer and turned it off,
"Come on Carter it'll be fun! You've never seen Daniel when he's annoyed. Just move a few books round and take the bookmarks out of his books and we'll be laughing so hard. What do you say?"
Sam stared at the computer,
"I'm glad that work was already saved or Commanding Officer or not you would be in the Infirmary right now!"
She was only half joking. Jack's face fell,
"So you won't come then? That's too bad, I'll just have to stay here and keep you company."
"Do I look lonely in here to you?…..On second thoughts don't answer that!"
Jack picked up a book on the theory of relativity and began to flick through it calmly, after a moment he stopped,
"Carter, can you explain what this means?"
"What does what mean?"
Jack walked over to her to show her the bit he wanted explaining, and when he got there he handed her the book.
"Start at the beginning, I like a good story."
"Are you sure? Or do you just want a good reason to fall asleep?"
"Either's good." He replied as he took a seat.
"But make it understandable, none of that technical mumbo jumbo…..Actually I think that may be a little advanced for me. Have you got the Three Little Pigs anywhere?"
"No, but I do have Astrophysics for Dummies on order!" She noticed that the reactor was balanced precariously on the edge of the table. "Maybe we should go annoy Daniel."
"If you want to Carter, but that Astrophysics for Dummies sounds like a good read!"
Jack stopped the reactor from falling off the table but at the same time inadvertently switched it on, another power surge occurred and an experiment fell off the table.
Sam rushed forwards and switched off the reactor before it reached full power, then she picked up the smashed experiment. It was something she had only just started but the accident would set her back at least a day, maybe more due to the upcoming mission. She placed it tenderly on the table,
"Colonel, next time you come in here….if I ever let you again, can you please sit on your hands or tie them so that you can't touch anything."
Jack grinned sheepishly hastily changing the subject,
"Are we gonna go annoy Daniel then?"
They headed for the door, towards Daniel's Office.
Daniel's Office
Sam knocked twice on the door to Daniel's Office before entering,
"Hey Daniel." She said,
Daniel had his nose stuck in a book and he was holding an artifact in his hand,
"Hi Sam."
Jack entered with a mischievous smile on his face. He picked up the book that Daniel was reding, closed it, and put it at the other end of the table,
"Hey Danny boy, how's it hanging?"
Sam picked up the book and began to flick through it,
"Gee Daniel don't you ever stop working?"
Jack butted in, "You're just like Carter, I only got her out of the lab because I broke her experiments."
"Will you give that back!" Daniel said arrogantly, setting it back on the desk. "Why are you here? Is there something I don't know about?"
Jack grinned, this time he picked up the artefact and almost dropped it. "Not really, just dropped in for a visit."
Daniel grabbed the artefact and placed in gently out of his reach, "Yes well you were about to drop something that was very important. Don't touch!" he snapped as Jack moved towards another artifact.
"Yeah, he keeps dropping stuff." Sam said as she remembered the experiment lying in pieces on her lab floor.
Daniel turned to Jack, "Jack sit, stay! Don't touch anything! You have a tendency to break what you touch, you're like a walking bad luck charm." He turned back to Sam.
There was a resounding crash from behind them, Jack was stood innocently by a smashed glass vase.
"Daniel I'm…..Do you have a dustpan and brush, I mean we cant leave this stuff on the floor."
He winked at Sam with an evil glint in his eye. Sam jumped in surprise at the sudden sound of the vase crashing to the floor and shattering into pieces. She looked at Daniel, he was gonna be angry for sure.
Daniel's face turned five shades of red, "JACK! Do you ever listen? Sam why'd you have to bring him? He always does this!" Daniel shooed Jack away from the mess, "Don't touch anything, I mean it! Don't you have any respect for other people's stuff?" he began clearing up and put the smashed vase in a pile on the table, he then cleared all of the other breakables that were on the table and put them on the shelves. "Don't even step behind this desk!"
Jack wasn't listening, he was sitting and messing with Daniel's laptop which he had left on the table, a beep sounded and the words 'DELETING' spread themselves across the screen.
"Erm…..Daniel, is that a good thing?"
Daniel strode over to Jack, "Jack get out of my office! You just deleted three weeks work! Its gonna take me forever to pull it up off the hard drive! Get out, get out, get out!" He grabbed Jack by the arm and hauled him away from the desk.
Sam looked sympathetically at Daniel, "He did almost the same with a report I'd spent hours on, luckily I'd saved mine. Don't you have it on a disk too?"
"Yes but unfortunately I've lost somewhere in here along with a report on the jar we found a few weeks back."
"Well all we have to do is find the disk, it shouldn't be…" she looked around at the cluttered office, "too hard."
The shattered vase had left a pool of water on the floor and Jack was stood near it. He held up a floppy disk.
"Is this the disk? Oops!" The disk came apart in his hands and the small chip that the data was stored on fluttered into the water and was ruined.
Daniel put his head in his hands,
"Why me, why me, why me? Thank you Jack you found it…NOW GET OUT! Sam don't you ever bring him in here again!"
Jack walked over to Sam and muttered,
"Told you it was funny, what shall we do next?"
Daniel obviously heard him,
"Nothing! Get out or I'm gonna call Hammond and have you removed!" he slammed his fist on the desk, oh he was mad.
Jack grinned at Daniel as he leant against a bookcase which promptly fell over and left a heap of books on the floor and some in the water.
"Awwww, Danny boy I almost thought you meant that for a minute there."
"Jack, you've got about half a second before I kill you, but first I'm gonna let Hammond know what caused me to do it. And if you're lucky the guards will be in here in time to save your dead ass." He moved over to the phone and pressed the button to call General Hammond.
Jack began to head for the door, however when he was almost there he noticed something. He leant behind a cabinet and pulled out the phone extension. He the stood up and hit his head on a plant pot which crashed to the floor.
Daniel had had enough, he dropped the phone and ran after Jack, he'd chase him all over the base if he had to but Jack was gonna get it! Jack headed round the table and away from Daniel at a run, knocking things to the floor as he went. It was lucky Daniel had picked up all the artefacts when he did.
"Now Daniel don't be hasty!" Jack remarked, but it didn't help as a moment later the laptop crashed to the floor.
Daniel began swearing in every language he knew as he picked up the laptop and laid it back on the desk.
"Jack when I get my hands on you I swear I'll…." He finished the sentence in a mixture of Egyptian and Goa'uld.
Jack ran and hid behind Sam, he chuckled, "Daniel don't do anything rash."
"Great thanks sir use me as a shield!" Sam commented as Daniel advanced towards her, he was not going to be calming down any time soon, she hoped there were no sharp objects in the room.
Jack dodged behind the desk and stood next to the artefacts, "One more step and I smash them all!"
"No, no, no Jack! You do that and you'll defiantly have to answer to Hammond, half those objects took weeks to recover!"
Jack grinned and picked up a highly decorated object,
"Give me clear access to the door Daniel or the artefact gets it!"
Daniel sighed and moved out of the way. Jack strolled over to the door and placed the artefact on a cabinet before moving towards Sam, unfortunately he had forgotten about the phone line. He tripped over it and knocked into Sam who knocked into the cabinet which promptly knocked the artefact to the floor with a crash. Sam steadied herself against the wall but could do nothing to stop the artefact falling and smashing in two.
"Daniel, this isn't too bad." She remarked before throwing a glare at Jack.
Daniel's head dropped to the desk in frustration. Jack piped up,
"Carter maybe we should be going, we seem to have caught Daniel when his office is in a bit of a mess."
Sam picked up the broken artefact and laid it on Daniel's desk,
"Actually sir I think it was fine before you decided to tidy up."
"OUT BOTH OF YOU NOW!" Daniel yelled, he wasn't mad at Sam but he wanted to be left alone to clean up the mess.
"Sam I'm sorry if I offended you in any way but Jack GET OUT!" he picked up a very large and heavy book from the floor and threw it at Jack, Jack ran out of the room. He intended to return however. After all he had enjoyed himself.
THE END