Happy

AN: OK, this is my first fanfic, but go ahead, flame me! (Reverse psychology.) This is based on the song "Happy" by Saving Jane.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Yet...

The song belongs to Saving Jane.

Filling up my empty days with red wine
Wonder what you think of me?
Lying in the grass alone and wasted
Nothing's how it used to be

Luna lay in the long grass, exhausted. She couldn't believe this was happening.

Yes, they were older. It made sense that he didn't want to lie in a meadow and spot Crumple-Horned Snorkacks and Wrackspurts in the clouds.

It shouldn't have been a surprise when it suddenly wasn't Neville-and-Luna. Their names had never really been linked and hyphenated anyway.

But she guessed she'd counted on it, whether there was a reason or not.

I wanna be the first to call and tell you
Yesterday I heard the news
I hear you oughtta be congratulated
So I guess that's what I'll do

Hannah Abbot had been the woman's name on the invitation. Hufflepuff girl, Neville's year. Blonde plaits. That was all Luna knew.

She was going, of course. She could probably have told someone she was looking for Blustwurts (a new type of pixie – red with green hair – sighted by a Quibbler contributor), but Luna was still the same person.

She didn't let friends down, because she needed everyone she could get.

Besides, she wanted to know that she had seen it with her own eyes. Otherwise, she would end up in denial.

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.

She calls ahead a week before the wedding. She could just owl him, but this feels more personal.

He's impressed that she knows how to use a Muggle telephone. Hannah had to teach him, he says.

She fights the ugly jealousy that twist in the pit of her stomach. As he babbles about his worries, she listens to his voice, not his words.

As he comes to the end of his spiel, he asks, "So what do you think? About getting married?"

It hurts, because she's heard his voice say similar things a thousand times in daydreams, but never in this context.

With a fakely bright smile, she chokes out, "I'm so happy for you. I might cry!"

And after he hangs up, she does.

Listen to the sound of my head pounding
Wish that it was make-believe
Praying for the skies to open up and
Wash away your memory

Luna is on her broom, a Nimbus 2100. The wind whips her dirty blonde hair, and for a moment, just a moment, she feels so powerful and so free, despite a headache and tears that weigh behind deep eyes.

Then she remembers. She's on her way to the wedding.

I can walk around with a pretty face on
Even when I'm black and blue
What's the point in telling everybody
I'm not over you.

She is wearing blue and yellow, not dress robes like everyone else. It's a blue dress with a yellow sash, and a yellow rose is tucked into her hair, behind her ear.

She remembers what she told Harry Potter at Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour's wedding, years ago. Wearing sun colours for luck.

She could use some luck now.

She wonders if Harry will be there. She expects so, but she hasn't seen him in a while. She hasn't seen anyone in a while really.

Though Ginny owls her occasionally, which is nice. Apart from rare letters, Luna Lovegood has few friendships now.

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.

For all her cleverness, the insight and open mind that placed her in Ravenclaw, Luna wishes she had been in Gryffindor.

Being closer to Neville, in the same house. Maybe this could have been them.

But mostly, she could do with the courage.

The courage to interrupt the ceremony, to tell Neville SHE'S an option, SHE knows him best.

Ravenclaw intelligence tells her she has missed her chance.

Cry about the love we used to have
Cry that I won't ever get you back

Maybe, when they were young. Anything could have happened. Nothing was set in stone then. Anything was possible. Nothing was ever certain.

But that wasn't true, she thought.

It was certain for Harry and Ginny. For Hermione and Ron. For the Boy-Who-Lived to triumph. Good always did.

Filling up my empty days with red wine
Wonder what you think of me?

In her heart, Luna wished Hannah Abbot was wicked enough to hate.

But she was lovely, kind and beautiful. Easy to fall for. Tough too. A landlady who worked behind a bar at the same time.

Luna? Just that strange girl who takes hours painting her only friends on her bedroom wall, who still has the DA fake Galleon under her pillow at night.

She wasn't sure who Luna was as a woman.

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I'm so happy for you
So, so happy for you
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.

He comes to her, beaming, after the ceremony. She grins back and kisses him on the cheek.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks, Luna!"

Again, she is so happy (or does she mean unhappy?) that she (Luna Lovegood, a girl who gave an old man locked in a cellar hope, who saw Threstrals and danced barefoot by the lake, the girl named for the moon...) could cry.

AN: Review, please! It makes me happy! And when people are happy, they don't attempt to achieve world domination!