The first of the IchiRuki ideas that's been spawned in my head since that travesty of the final chapter. This was requested by lunaaddictus on Tumblr! My IchiRuki prompts are open, guys! Please don't be afraid to send me a request!
Prompt: Meeting up after a mission
"Honestly, you need to watch where you're swinging Zabimaru! You almost took my head off, you moron."
"Moron? I'm the moron? Who decided it was a good idea to fire Getsuga Tensho at the Hollows without looking? You smashed three buildings!"
"May I remind you that both of you smashed buildings? What with Renji's flailing about with Zabimaru and Ichigo's frankly horrific aim and your childish contest of who could kill the most Hollows?"
"Shut up, Uryu!"
"Yeah, no one asked you, Four Eyes."
"Well, the destruction is your fault and Sōtaichō Ise's wrath will fall on your heads, not mine." Uryu smirked slyly, adjusting his glasses as they walked. "Also, Kuchiki Taichō won't be pleased to hear that her darling husband and her best friend are the ones responsible for destroying a good portion of the Rukongai and causing her massive amounts of paperwork."
On the other side of Ichigo, Renji snorted, his hand quickly going to his mouth. Ichigo himself just groaned. He'd momentarily forgotten about the swiftness of Kuchiki Taichō's rage. Uryu continued. "At least my wife won't kick me in the face like someone will in about three, two…"
Ichigo froze. Uryu's smirk had widened and he'd begun counting down.
At the exact moment Uryu said 'one', Ichigo turned his head, only to be met with a sandaled foot to the face. Despite only being 4'8 and half his weight, Rukia easily knocked Ichigo to the ground with the well-honed force of her kick.
Within moments, Rukia was tearing into Ichigo, shouting and waving her arms about, belaboring her husband about the damage he'd wrought. But both Uryu and Renji noticed the smiles on the couples' faces. This was a ritual neither would miss for the world.