The restaurant was full on a Saturday night, just as expected. The Wasteland was rated five-stars across the board, known for perfect steaks, the most expensive booze and a romantic view over the heart of Gotham. The elevator ride up to the eighteenth floor was shaky and Harley could feel it wobbling, as old as it was. "Mistah J, you know heights make me kinda woozy… Why'd we have to go to this restaurant? There's other steakhouses…"

He grabbed her arm with gloved fingers, the nails digging into her skin even through the thick material. The Joker yanked her into his side and she squeaked quietly, cringing. "It isn't about the steak, my dear," He growled with a forced smile, his nose inches from hers. She quaked in fear, eyes widening. "Haven't I explained this to you?"

"Puddin, you never explain your plans to me," She murmured, giving a small smile to ease the tension.

He paused, pursing his lips. "You make a good point, kiddo. Ha, ha!" He gave her a big kiss on the top of her head and she grinned, genuine pleasure overtaking her. "I suppose you're about to see what all the fuss is about!" The elevator dinged when they reached their destination and the Joker ushered his clowns towards the doors. Just as the old metal began to peel open, the first clown tossed a small smoke grenade into the front room. Multiple sets of coughing erupted and Harley flashed her boyfriend a grin before shoving through the henchmen and doing a sudden cartwheel into the smoky room.

Joker held back, leaning against the wall, listening to Harley's, "Ha! Umf! Take that!" as the smoke cleared. When they could finally see, he smiled. His little harlequin was holding her baseball bat over her shoulder, a splatter of blood gracing the right side of her face. She looked adorable.

"Perfect job, Pooh!"

"Hehe," She giggled, perking up under his praise.

"Was that smoke?" A muted voice said from the room beside them. "Is something burning?" The moment the two waiters in black and white turned the corner, Harley swung her bat, bashing the first in the nose, spattering herself with blood. The nearest henchmen shot the other man in the same second, his silencer making the shot nothing more than a small pew.

"Remember. No calls leave this building. No tweets, no texts, no yaks, no Tinder messages. We're doing this quiet and quick. I don't want to deal with you-know-who just yet."

"You got it, boss. The disruptor is almost up. It'll black out every phone on the block."

The Joker laughed, quiet and pleased with himself. "Wonderful." A faint beeping began as a red light flashed on the portable disruptor. The henchmen smiled, his eyes pulling up at the corners.

"We're good to go, Joker. Lead the way."

"I always do," He murmured.

Harley smiled at her boyfriend lovingly, watching him adjust the buttons on his sleeves before stepping into the restaurant with one long stride. "Ladies and gents! Good to see you tonight!" Gasps rang out throughout the room, a cry here and there just at the sight of the Joker. Chairs scraped as a few men stood up, stepping in front of their wives and children to protect them as the mother's cradled their little heads in their arms. Joker's wicked grin grew as he scanned the room. "You'll be happy to know all your devices are currently disabled. Feel free to jump out the window, though, if you'd like…" A couple heads turned to look at his offer, immediately turning pale. They had two options. Stay here, with the Joker? Or jump to their quick, painless deaths?

"Oh, come on, ya pussies! We aren't here for ya," Harley shouted, taking her rightful place at the Joker's side.

"As Harley said… You're not important to me. I'm here for one man and one man only…" His eyes glazed over as he looked through the crowd. When he saw his target slowly inching towards the wall, he laughed. Bruce Wayne was heading towards the corner, either trying to escape or hide. "Get him, boys."

Three of his henchmen ran to the other side of the room, their guns clicking and clacking as they jogged. Bruce scowled, not even acknowledging the henchmen, and instead staring straight at the Joker. Ballsy, for a pretty boy. He could see Bruce struggling as his clowns held him back by his arms. It almost looked as if he was going to fight back. A Wayne, a fighter? Funny story.

A soft whimper snapped the Joker out of his thoughts and he turned in the direction of the noise. The little girl peeking around his daddy's leg had a few measly tears dripping down her rosy cheeks. How cute. Joker cocked his head to the side and approached her slowly. More gasps, the room holding their breath as he walked towards her. He knelt down on one purple-clad knee and smiled a kind smile at the child. "What's your name, cupcake?"

"Don't talk to her," The dad hissed, sweat lining his brow. At the same time, three goons lifted their guns in sync, pointing them straight at the father. He swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing. The Joker clicked his tongue and waved the guns away.

"Now, now, we don't need any of that. I just want to talk to her. Come here, sweetie," He cooed again, curling a gloved finger. The father was panting, afraid, but the mother rested a gentle hand on his arm. He relaxed slightly and nodded at his daughter.

"I want to stay right here," She whispered, her voice carrying a bit of a lisp.

"Gasp! Are you missing a tooth?"

She looked at her father for approval before nodding at the Joker.

"Well, goodness me. You know there's nothing better than a beautiful smile. Why don't you let uncle Joker see yours?" He sighed when she hesitated. "What's your name?"

"Sophia," She murmured.

"Sophia… Do I look like I want to hurt you?" He asked. She still was scared but she side-stepped her father and came close enough for the Joker to see her missing front tooth. He laughed in delight! "Look at you! Already getting your big-girl teeth! Very impressive."

The tiniest smile appeared on her face, her cheeks blushing. "Really?"

"Really, really," He said, and held out his hand again, beckoning her forwards. "Do you like flowers, Sophia?"

"Yes."

"Do you see mine? Pretty, isn't it?"

"Uh-huh."

"You can have a smell if you come closer."

Across the room, Harley sighed, resting her head against the doorframe. She smiled dreamily at her boyfriend before softly saying, "He's so good with kids." Both the henchmen next to her turned to stare at her with expressions of disbelief. "What?" Before they turned their heads again, Sophia let loose a wild shriek and as the three looked back, her face was buried in his chest, acid spraying out in a thick cloud around her. He laughed maniacally as her parents began to sob, screaming her name. Before she stopped writhing, he pushed her away and her small body fell to the floor, limp. The entirety of her face was a red, blotchy disaster.

"Alright, team, head out!" The men continued to train their guns on the civilians except for the few holding Bruce Wayne back with all their might. He was really struggling now, teeth clenched, eyes fuming. "Oh, and by the way," The Joker said, leaning in towards the father who was now cradling his unconscious daughter in his lap, his tears dripping onto her destroyed flesh. "It's better for her to go through this now… Reconstructive surgery will be much more expensive when she's older. More skin and all that. Toodles!" The crew piled into the elevator and Joker looked at Bruce in the eye, smirking. "You know, you look different in person." The Joker's cane crashed into Bruce's temple and he fell limp in the clown's arms.

Hello, everyone! I was really proud of this piece, and while I don't see it becoming a novel or anything, I do plan to pop out a few more chapters. I'm assuming this will end up being 3-5, at most. Obviously, this is Classic Joker. I'm sure you all can tell by dialogue and such. Hopefully I'll update soon. Can't wait to hear from you guys!

- Chokes