Real A/N - Parody. Don't take this seriously. No, really. Don't.

A/N- OMG liek hii! This is my firtse fanficktion, so be nice, okkky? And reviw or no mroe chappies!

Hi. My name is Ruby Gold Jamila Flower Elric. OOPS! You weren't supposed to know the last part. You see, I'm really Ed and Al's little sister, like a year younger than them. I didn't grow up with them because I was kidnapped by some weird guy who sold me to some orphanage. My real mom cried for days, even though I was like a month old and I could have no idea how she was crying because I wasn't there and my presence makes no sense at all.

So...just keep it a secret, okay? Kay.

You see, I grew up in that orphanage for the first five years of my life. The lady that was in charge hated me because I was so smart and I could read before I was one and I could even do alchemy when I was three! The kids all hated me there, but I knew they were just jealous of me because I was super smart and super pretty (I have long golden blonde hair and gold eyes). So, finally I ran away when I was five, and I knew everything I needed to know to survive, because I was just that smart.

I kinda got lost though, so I was in this huge jungle (which also doesn't make sense because why is there a jungle in the city?) but then thankfully, I was saved by this pack of wolves! Since I was super smart, I was able to talk with them and stuff, and therefore I was raised by them.

Finally, after they taught me all their tricks and stuff, I beat the wolf leader. But then he bit me alot, and then there was a lot of venom in his bites so I lost both of my arms and my legs. Thankfully, I was taken by my pack brothers to an automail store (that was conviently nearby) and they gave me automail. Because of the special person I am, I was able to finish the rehabilitation in a month and a half. They mechanics didn't even charge me for the automail, because I was so nice to them and they loved me!

So, then one day I decided to become a State Alchemist. I don't know why, but I just felt like it was CALLING to me, y'know? Even though I was hated afterward. So I passed the test with flying colors that even the Fuhrer was impressed. I became the youngest State Alchemist at nine years old, even though they didn't record it because it was bad to have such a young person in the military.

I am the Pretty Golden Flower Alchemist.

A/N - gud, ritee? I kno, it took me so long but it waz so kool. and leik, revwie a lot, kayz? no mreo rveiwres untilll i get mro than four rvewirers. :) So reveriw!1!

Real A/N - Oh god, do you know how much that hurt to write, like seriously, I was twitching the whole time. I couldn't bring myself to butcher the story itself, so you have to live with grammar in a parody. Aaah, I need quality writing, like NOW...D:

Review, Read (over), Alert, Favorite(?) and leave me a Comment!

-Summer.