A collab next-gen fanfic Basketballer43 and i came up with.
Surprisingly, the dialouge is not in Italic.
Hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it : )
Chapter 1: Breakfast before we Hit the Road
The minute- no. The second Scarlet Drilovksy smelled one of the best smells known to man, she was out of bed in an instant, running out of her room and towards the staircase. In the process, her sister Ginger was on her heels, running out of the room behind her, "BACON?!"
"It's mine!" Scarlet exclaimed, pushing her younger sister back. Just as the made it to the staircase, their brother pushed past both of them nearly toppling down the stairs,
"I smelled it first!" He yelled out as he passed them,
"Not unless I get to it first!" Ginger cried out, shoving past her older sister and coming close to catching her brother.
At the sound of the argument above, Fanny and Patton Drilovsky looked down from the stairs to each other and smirked, "Works every time", Fanny commented.
Suddenly into the kitchen raced in the 3 teenagers.
The first one was Scarlet, with shoulder-length curled black hair, still wearing a pair of green shirt and matching pajama pants.
The second was her younger sister Ginger, who had auburn straight hair, which was now sticking wildly around all over the place, except around a light blue nightcap that was resting on her head, somehow staying on during the run.
The final youngest teen was a boy, their younger brother, who looked exactly like a younger Patton, wearing a white shirt and black and red plaid pajama pants.
The three teens looked over at the stove for the anticipated bacon, but found that it had just started cooking, and slouched in disappointment.
"They tricked us into waking up again, didn't they?" Ginger was the first to speak.
"Aw man", their brother said in disdain.
"If there's bacon was it really a trick?" Fanny asked, leaning against the counter,
"Uh, Yeah," Scarlet answered, stretching her arms, "I could still be in bed,"
"It gets us everytime! I'm protesting bacon!" The boy started to head back upstairs to sleep until Fanny pulled some bacon out of the pan and onto a plate. "Right after I eat this."
The boy then ran past his sisters to the table, and started to inhale bacon like it was his first meal in decades.
"I get the feeling this protest isn't gonna last long," The redhead said to him as she managed to take two pieces for herself.
"Yes it will," PJ argued back through a mouthful of bacon.
"Yeah, whatever you say," Scarlet rolled her eyes, stealthily grabbing a few pieces of bacon of her own.
As they were eating, a younger boy around twelve-years-old, who also had black hair but on his face had very prominent freckles, wearing blue striped pajamas, appeared. He started to walk over to the table, trying to take some bacon, but his older brother had already devoured most of it. Upon realizing this, he snuck up behind his older sister and tried to swipe a piece of her bacon, only to be punched in the arm, "Hey!" He exclaimed, rubbing his arm,
"Serves you right, trying to sneak away my bacon!" Ginger answered, taking a another bite.
"But I need it more than you. I'm younger than you" He answered.
"Meaning you have more time to wait on it," Ginger said,
"I guess you're right. I mean, you ARE pretty old", he retorted. He started laugh before Ginger suddenly trapped him in her arms, an enraged look on her face.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" She shouted, making his laugh quickly fade away before hesitantly answering,
"... Old,"
"Oh that's it!" And then, without much effort, she tackled her younger brother sending them to the floor. As the two fought, the older boy then took a piece of bacon off his sister's plate as his father rolled his eyes at his children wrestling on the floor,
"Nice to know the kids are awake," He snarked as his daughter rose up from the ground, leaving her brother lying there,
"Hey! Who took my bacon?" She asked, and quickly PJ took the bacon from his hand and threw it onto his father's plate,
"Dad did" He said, pointing to Patton, who looked over towards him as his daughter put her hands on her hips,
"Dad!"
"Are you kidding me?" Patton asked, looking towards his oldest son, who had an innocent smile on his face,
"You're SO immature, Dad,", Ginger said as she sat back down at the table.
"Yeah Dad, SO immature," PJ mocked while Patton glared at him.
But before they could argue any further, there on the table was set another plateful of bacon. PJ was about to grab it before Fanny came over to stop him.
"PJ! No!"
"Aw, but mom. First come, first serve, remember?" He whined,
"Yes, but at least let your siblings get a minute to take some for themselves before you inhale it all", she told him as she set down on the table a large plate of waffles.
PJ sulked in his chair, looking longingly at the bacon as three more children came down the stairs.
The first one was a bright red headed girl wearing gray pajamas and a raccoon cap on top of her hat.
The second was a younger girl with brown hair, the only brunette in the family, who wore a purple nightgown.
The final one, and the youngest of them all, was a boy with wild ashy-black hair in blue footie pajamas, walking towards the table while putting on large coke-bottled glasses.
As the three youngest began to sit down for breakfast, they noticed one of their brothers, still curled up on the floor in pain.
"Elliott? Are you ok?" the brunette asked as she began to eat some bacon, despite PJ practically drooling over it.
"I've never been in so much pain!" Elliot shouted back while wincing.
"Aw, shut up," Ginger grumbled.
"You gonna get some bacon, Elliott?" PJ asked.
"I can't! I just said I'm in pain!" He shouted, rolling around over-dramatically.
"Aw well, more for me," PJ then resumed eating bacon again, as his brother paused his dramatic rolling to glare at his older brother,
"Thanks PJ," Elliott said sarcastically.
"Don't mention it", PJ cheerfully responded and began to gorge on a bunch of waffles.
"PJ, slow down," Fanny said, looking at the amount of food her eldest son was inhaling waffle upon waffle.
"Why?" He wondered, with a mouth full of food,
"Because if you get car sick, I'll make you clean it up yourself,"
"Relax mom," PJ said, bits of waffle and bacon flying out of his mouth as he talked, "If anything, you'll need to worry about Elliott getting carsick,"
"Hey!", the younger boy shouted as he finally started to get back up.
"Well it's true"
"Relax Ellie", Ginger began to reassure her younger brother, "Maybe we'll be at a stop or something when you do inevitably throw up. You know, like when we have to stop every hour and a half for Scarlet"
"Hey, Scarlet shouted. I can't help it if I have a weak bladder!"
"Yeah," Ginger agreed, "If anything, we'll stop even more frequent for Dad,"
"Hey," Patton exclaimed in offense "I can't help it either!"
"Either way, neither of you two are allowed to drink anything for the first five hours," Fanny said before she sat down with her family next to her husband.
"But I need to drink, I'll get dehydrated and die!" Scarlet complained.
"Well at least then we won't have to stop for you anymore," PJ said to Scarlet, who glared at him in offense.
"Wow, thanks,"
"We'd still need to stop for dad though," the brunette girl chimed in.
"Maybe he'll die of dehydration too."
"If he dies, can I call shotgun?", the youngest redhead girl asked in excitement.
"NO!" Patton shouted, visibly offended. "I'm not gonna die!"
"Not yet," the girl added.
There was a small silent moment with the family, aside from the sounds of eating. Patton started to raise his cup of coffee to his lips before he remembered what Fanny said. He then started to turn to his wife, who had just started to eat salvaged bacon. "Uh, Fanny," Patton started to ask, "Can I still have coff-"
"No drinks whatsoever!" She shouted at him,
"...Yes dear," He said as he put the cup back down.
"Good," Fanny replied, biting down on her piece of bacon.
The youngest daughter and son, a 7 year old and a 5 year old respectively, sat down and simultaneously stabbed their forks into the last waffle on the plate.
"That's my waffle", the boy said to his older sister.
"No it's not. It's mine", she began to argue back. The two glared at each other, and since little, naive Duncan was so focused on glaring at his big sister, Kate, she took the opportunity to stealthily rip the waffle away from his fork and pulled it onto her plate.
"Hey! You cheated!", he said as she ate the waffle with a victorious smile.
"If it helps, Duncan, maybe know you have some time to take a bath before we're stuck in a car for a bazillion hours", Kate said, a smug smile on her face as she insulted her brother.
"Not funny Kate," Duncan growled back in irritation.
"Yeah, you're right. Your body odor isn't funny," She shot back, the smug smile still on her face,
"Oh don't you start with that!" He exclaimed, as the smug smile on his sister's face grew,
"Yeah. You might kill me with your toxic fumes," She shot back. Duncan's eye twitched as he exclaimed,
"That's it!" The boy reached over and pulled Kate onto the ground
"I see we got the youngest 2 on a bad day", Fanny commented to Patton.
As Kate and Duncan continued to fight, the youngest redhead was continuing to eat, watching the madness beside her, before she saw a fly buzzing around her raccoon cap.
"Cool, she said as the fly continued flying around. Look, a fly"
"A fly?, Elliott suddenly froze. "You mean...there's a BUG?!"
"Yeah, it's right there" PJ said and pointed to the fly, which had just landed on the table next to his plate.
"Aaaa!", Elliott screamed in fright and lept up in the air, landing in his father's arms, knocking over his food in the process.
"Not in so much pain anymore, huh son?", Patton said looking at his son, who was clinging onto him.
"Dad! There's a fly. Kill it!", Elliott shouted ignoring his father's snark.
"I can't kill it, I'm not fast enough," Patton said as he let go of Elliott.
"Trust me old man, we know," Ginger said. "Let a real stealth queen handle this," she then aimed her hand above the fly and forcefully smacked it down on the table, but she missed and just hit the table really hard as the fly flew to the other side of the table.
"Nice going, stealth queen," PJ sarcastically commented making his sister glare and snark back,
"Shut up PJ. I got this," She readied her hand again as she reached across the table and slammed it again. She then released it to find the fly still buzzing around, now leaving into the living room.
Ginger got out of her seat and followed the fly to the living room. The hunt had begun. As Ginger just kept hitting stuff, the fly still evading and buzzing around, the younger redhead followed her older sister, beginning to protest.
"Ginger no! It's just a fly!"
"You stay out of this, Morgan!", the remaining Drilovskys heard from the kitchen.
"Well at least now she'll be tired during the ride," Patton said, taking a bite of bacon,
"One less loud voice I have to listen to," Scarlet muttered which made PJ snap his head over,
"Yeah well she talks in her sleep so you'll still have to listen. Sorry sis, you're stuck with us and our loud voices forever," he said in almost sadistic glee before resuming eating as Scarlet groaned.
"Why couldn't I have just been an only child?" She whined, putting her head in her hands and leaning on the table,
'I sometimes ask myself the same thing," Fanny thought to herself as she heard Ginger shout from upstairs,
"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE-"
"Ginger no! The fly wasn't bothering you!", Morgan shouted trailing behind her sister.
"It doesn't matter if it wasn't bothering me!" she said "I'm the stealth queen! This is a matter of personal pride!"
"Well swallow your pride! Flies are very useful and they can't afford to-"
"Morgan shut up! What's a FLY ever done for me? I've almost got it-" there was a loud slam sound heard by the exclamation of, "DANGIT"
"Ginger, stop that!" Patton shouted to the ceiling. "You're gonna break something,"
"Don't worry Dad!" Ginger shouted below. "The only thing that's getting broken is this little insect" This statement was suddenly followed by the sound of something glass-like breaking, making Fanny and Patton widen their eyes.
"...And maybe this picture"
"Ginger! Stop that and get back down here now!"
Fanny yelled.
"Mom, I am simply trying to prove that I'm the best Drilovsky," Ginger said, beginning to head back downstairs, Morgan following behind her.
"Ha! Yeah right!", Elliott scoffed. "What makes you think you're the best?"
"Have you guys seen yourselves? This isn't really a hard victory," Ginger laughed,
"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" Patton said to his daughter. She continued to laugh,
"Well, no offense dad," Ginger began to tell him, "But you're a dork."
Patton stared at her in offensive astonishment. "I am NOT!" He argued back as he looked to his wife for backup.
"Well, Patton," She started to say, before he interrupted her,
"Fanny. I'm not a dork," He insisted. His wife winced and slowly nodded,
"You kind of are," Fanny said, reluctantly.
"Kind of?," PJ chimed in. "More like a lot!"
"PJ!" Patton exclaimed,
"It's true," He held up his hands defensively,
"Well, PJ, you're named after me," Patton began to retort. "Which technically means if I'm a dork, you are too."
"What? No it doesn't!" PJ exclaimed as the rest of his siblings started to laugh.
"Oh, but it does, son", Patton insisted as his other children continued laughing.
"B-But but but...MOM!", PJ began to protest and look to Fanny for help.
"No, PJ, just because you have your Dad's name, doesn't mean you have his personality," She assured her oldest son.
"Oh, thank goodness", PJ sighed in relief.
"Gee, thanks Fan," Patton deadpanned to his wife.
"No problem," she replied.
Around an hour later, the Drilovskys had finished eating breakfast and changing clothes before getting their bags out to load up in the car. Fanny began walking to check up on her children, as the oldest began to walk out. All that was left was seeing her 2 youngest children heading out.
"Kate? Duncan? You 2 almost ready?", she knocked on the door to hear muffled shouting.
Fanny opened the door to Kate and Duncan's shared room, only to find her 2 youngest on their bunk bed, 2 bags opened beside them and only filled halfway, fighting. Again.
"Kate it's mine!" Duncan cried out, trying to pull a green Rainbow Monkey away from her grasp by an arm. The brunette only tugged at the other arm harder of it,
"If it was yours it would stink! And it doesn't, so give it up!"
"It does not stink!"
"It wouldn't if you would let mom wash it!"
"I don't like to bathe, so why should it have to?"
"It's not yours, it's mine! Now let it go!"
"Never!" He cried back, and yanked on the arm as hard as he possibly could, and Kate did the same, resulting in what sounded like a tear.
And what a tear it was, as the entire left arm was torn off. Duncan was holding the arm while Kate was holding the rest of the plush toy. Tears started to swell up in Duncan's eyes behind his glasses as he stared down at the stuffed arm he held.
"You...You..You broke it!," he then looked up at Kate in anger, tears starting to stream down his face. "MOM!", he shouted to the doorway, only to find Fanny already there. She was tapping her foot with her arms crossed, clearly not happy. But, for once, instead of yelling she just sighed,
"Leave the Rainbow Monkey here and when we get back I'll try and fix it,"
"But Kate was the one who destroyed it! Yell! Punish her!", Duncan shouted in between sniffs, pointing his finger to Kate.
"ME? You're the one who didn't let of MY toy!"
"It wasn't yours! It was mine! It has my initial under its foot. Just look!"
Kate looked down at the monkey's left foot, only to find scribbled on it a faded "D".
"Oh. It IS yours", she said as she looked up to Duncan, who was still angrily crying. "Uhh...oops?"
"Really, Kate?" Her mother wondered, really close to yelling. Kate winced and sighed before her mother yelled, "Apologize!"
"... Sorry," She mumbled.
"Good. Now that we have that taken care of, why aren't you two packed yet?", Fanny asked them, pointing to their half empty bags.
"Um…"
"Um is not a good answer," She said impatiently, "You both better be packed in less than ten minutes,"
"Yes mom", the two immediately answered as they started to stuff clothes into their bags, putting the Rainbow Monkey and its arm onto the bottom bunk.
In a couple of minutes, Kate and Duncan both started to head out with their bags in tow, Duncan carrying a green one-armed Rainbow Monkey alongside him.
"Ow, Kate!" PJ shouted to his younger sister, running towards the door in front of them.
"What?" The brunette girl asked, not even bothering to stop.
"You hit me with your bag," He answered,
"Oops," Kate shouted back as she headed outside towards the car. Suddenly Ginger walked behind PJ with a mischievous smile and purposefully hit him with her bag, practically knocking him over.
"Ow! Ginger!" The black haired boy exclaimed annoyedly,
"Oops", she said sarcastically, the mischievous smile still spread across her face. She began to head outside until her younger brother retaliated by hitting her with his own bag. When she turned to glare at him he only shrugged,
"Oops,"
One thing led to another and It wasn't long before the two began to fight, hitting each other with their bags. The two continued to fight until Fanny walked inside and saw them, all she had to do was glare at them as PJ and Ginger abruptly stopped and began to stand up,
"Uh…", PJ started to say before he was jabbed in the ribs by Ginger, signaling him to shut up.
"Get in the car." Fanny commanded.
"Yes mom," PJ said, picking up his bag as Ginger did the same thing,
"Be right there," The two then rushed out the door with their bags and got into the car.
Finally, everyone was loaded up, buckled up, and ready to go… Almost. Fanny looked at her children through the rear view mirror and asked, "Are we ready to go?"
"Yep!" Kate said enthusiastically, digging through her small bag that she kept in the seat with her.
"Mhm" Ginger groaned, tired out from chasing the insect around their home.
"Yeah," PJ answered, adjusting the seat belt so that he was more comfortable. Scarlet shifted and hesitantly spoke up, knowing that she should definitely say something before they left the neighborhood,
"Wait- I gotta pee," She said, making everyone in the car roll their eyes and groan simultaneously, except her father- who had to do the exact same thing.
"Of course you do," PJ groaned, "When don't you have to pee?!" He cried out making his eldest sister roll her eyes.
"Didn't I say no drinks?" Fanny wondered aloud making Patton and Scarlet share guilty glances.
THIRTY MINUTES EARLIER
Patton walked into the kitchen, checking to make sure Fanny had grabbed the snack bag, but instead of finding that, he found his eldest daughter, downing a large pitcher of water, "Scarlet, what are you doing?" She jerked the pitcher away from her mouth, as some of the liquid was dripping down her chin.
"Nothing,"
"Is that water?" He asked, even though he knew what it was. The black haired girl looked at the pitcher in her hands then back to her father,
"...Maybe," He reached his arm out towards her,
"Give me some,"
BACK IN THE CAR
"Well you said it. I just chose not to listen," Scarlet said making Fanny groan and look towards her husband,
"What about you?" He looked down and answered,
"I...might have had a little bit of water before-"
"A little? You practically finished off the other half!" Scarlet exclaimed, interrupting him. The dark haired man turned around,
"Scarlet, come on,"
"I am not taking all the blame for something you did!" She exclaimed, pointing towards him.
"I did?! How is this MY fault?" He wondered making Scarlet raise her dark eyebrows,
If it wasn't for your tiny bladder, I wouldn't have a tiny bladder and we wouldn't have to constantly stop for bathroom breaks!"
"If you didn't get the water out in the first place we wouldn't be here!" He argued back, making his wife roll his eyes and turn around, and end the argument.
"You both have exactly one minute to go into the house, use the bathroom, and come back out- do you understand?"
"Yes, Dear," Patton said, getting out of the car and bolting to the front door, while Scarlet still sat in her seat,
"Mom, I don't think I can go that fast," The black haired girl said while her mother took a deep breath,
"Well now you only have fifty-seven seconds," Fanny said, looking at her through the rearview mirror,
"I'm going, I'm going!" Scarlet said, getting out of the car and running towards the door, that her father left open for her. The only brunette Drinovsky began digging through her bag before pulling out a camera and turning it around to face herself,
"Day one of the most dreaded, demanding, task of the year. The Drilovsky family road trip," She spoke before Duncan rolled his eyes and spoke up,
"Shut up, Kate"
"Ah, yes. The insults begin," Kate began with a fake smile that turned to glare towards her brother,
"Kate, turn that off!" Ginger exclaimed turning to face her younger sister,
"No! My viewers love seeing you crazy people for some reason. They find it amusing. So the camera's staying," She said, turning the camera towards her siblings, which made them all cover their faces. Elliot spoke up behind his hand,
"What viewers? Mom made you close the account weeks ago after the feces incident," He pointed out making Kate shake her head,
"I meant the viewers I'll have in the future, when I'm famous and successful, unlike all of you,"
"Hey, I'm gonna be famous too. Trust me, this face is gonna be on TV. It belongs there." PJ boasted while smiling, Ginger scoffed,
"Only on America's Dumbest, it would," She muttered, making a few of her siblings chuckle and PJ roll his eyes and sarcastically say,
"Ha ha, so funny," He rolled his dark brown eyes. The younger redhead Drilovsky girl who had been focused on counting spoke up,
"They only have twelve seconds left,"
"Oh, I bet Scarlet will make it, Dad won't," Ginger said, leaning forward to look out the windshield,
"But Dad pees faster," PJ pointed out,
"Dad's also old and slow," Duncan responded, Fanny decided it was best to ignore the comment about him being old, especially since her and her husband were the same age.
"Mom, if Dad doesn't make it, can I have shotgun?" Ginger asked, just as her father got back into the car,
"No!" He shouted making the auburn haired girl sigh,
"Darn it,"
"I don't get why we can't take turns with shotgun," PJ said, making Patton turn around,
"Because I'm the parent, I get shotgun," He answered as Ginger furrowed her eyebrows,
"But you never called it," She pointed out,
"I don't have to call it," He responded, as the other red headed girl, who was still counting spoke up again,
"5 seconds," Morgan said, while her older siblings were still arguing with their dad,
"But it's only fair," PJ whined,
"Not for the parents. We get special privileges," Patton smiled smugly making his children glare at him,
"1 and a half seconds," Morgan spoke up again, just as her older sister leapt into the car,
"Wait! I'm here!" She exclaimed, buckling her seat belt.
"You barely made it," Duncan said, making Scarlet roll her eyes,
"I still made it, though," She argued back,
"But still- barely," He pointed out, making his older sister turn around and glare,
"Shut up," She snapped.
"Anybody else need to go?", Fanny interrupted the fight to glare back to her children
"Nope", they all started to shake their heads vigorously.
"Good. Let's hit the road", and they start to back out of the driveway onto the street. As they started to drive, Kate pulled back out her camera and started to talk into it.
"So, the true start of day 1 on the dreaded, weary, needy week-long Drilovsky vacation."
"Stuff a sock in it, Kate", Duncan told her.
"Hey! I need to document this stuff! The internet will thrive on it… once Mom unblocks youtube,"
"Gimme that camera!" Ginger snatched the camera out of Kate's hands to the back seats behind her.
"Aww", Kate then slouched and sulked in her seat in disappointment.
There was around 5 minutes of silence, with the exception of Ginger starting to snore and doze off, as they started to head on the highway
"Mom can we maybe make a quick pit stop at the Beatles?" Scarlet hesitantly asked as her mother visibly rolled her eyes,
"You have to pee again, don't you?" Scarlet nodded and added,
"I drank a lot of water,"
"Ugh" Fanny groaned and slammed her head down on the steering wheel, before looking back up at the road ahead of them. Patton then quietly asked,
"Can you?" The redheaded woman looked towards her husband,
"Et tu, Patton?"
"...Yeah" Fanny groaned once again before sighing,
"You two are impossible,"
"Hey! Don't take this out on me! I didn't ask for his cruddy genetics," Scarlet exclaimed defensively, while pointing towards her father.
"Me neither, Fan. You know it's a family trait," He added, looking over towards his wife. Fanny only rolled her green eyes and continued driving, but not without grumbling angrily about 'stupid genetics', 'cruddy bladders', and 'why doesn't anyone listen to me?'. Scarlet bit down on her lip and hesitantly spoke up,
"... We're gonna stop, right?"
"YES WE'RE GOING TO STOP!" Fanny shouted, making all of the children and Patton cringe a little.
"Thank you, Mom," Scarlet said, making Fanny roll her eyes once again,
"Yeah, yeah, just be happy that I pity you and tiny bladder,"
Hope you liked it and please leave your thoughts. Reviews are always appreciated : )