Never Again

Author Note: Okay, I went out to help my dad take down all the Christmas stuff, and I am STILL freezing cold. So I got inspired for this after that and then reading some Jatie fics that are somewhat depressing. *Shrug* Enjoy this one-shot!

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8 years ago...

Katie wasn't used to seeing her brother so silent, so still..so depressed. The seven year old watched as tears occasionally leaked over his eyes, silently dripping onto the frozen ground. She clutched her arms to her chest and lowered her gaze, not wanting this life anymore. She hated it, it was so horrible. Why did the bad always happen to the good?

Her brother was an amazing person, even being a thirteen year old. He was kind, patient, leaderly, and collected. She'd never seen him close up and fall apart within himself like this before. She knealt down to the gravestone they were before and pressed her hands to the cold stone.

"Why?" she whispered, "why did this happen? Why did you do this to us? Why did you do it to him?" Her heart finally opened up, and she sobbed silently, slumping against the iced-over dust.

Suddenly, she was within two arms. They weren't warm physically, but just knowing he was still there inside was enough for her. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his neck.

"Promise me, Katilyn," he set her down, kneeling to her level, "promise me you'll never fall in love."

"Never again," she let her eyes fall on the gravestone one more time.

Here lies Kendall George Knight.

He went too young, why did he have to go? Why did he have to lie? Why didn't he stay away?

He will be greatly missed

She grabbed her brother's hand, and both of them went to a broken home with matching hearts.

In the present time...

Fifteen year old Katie was laying across her bed, listening to her music and staring at her ceiling. Her mom was working overtime all the time recently, and with Kendall being on tour all the time, she was used to being alone. But being alone affected her so much more than she let on. When she was alone she'd think. And if she thought too much, she'd think of her father.

He drank so much. He was party man, and he went to them almost every night. He lied to their mother, he lied to everyone. Everyone but Katie. She knew, and so did Kendall. They watched as he wasted his life, not understanding in their youth. But as Kendall grew older, he started to understand. He grew more distant from his mother and sister and spent a lot of time with his father.

Then their mom found out the truth. They yelled, there were bangs and screams...

The cops came.

There was blood and screaming, fighting and tears. He threw a piece of shattered glass. The officer pulled a gun.

Katie would never forget how she stood there, a scrawny, timid seven year old, sobbing in her big brother's arms as he hit the ground.

"Katie!" two big emerld eyes made her smile, "listening to Green Week or Justin Beaver?"

"Not Green Day or Justin Bieber," she stuck out her tongue at her twenty one year old brother, "Katie Perry."

"I was close," he joked, pulling out her ear phones and pulling her off the bed, "get up, you're brothers are only here tonight!"

She eagerly got up and hugged him before greeting her other three brother figures. Logan was calling the pizza place as Carlos begged for stuffed crust, and James was doing his hair. It was the normal sight for when they got a break from their world tours. Putting her fingers in her mouth, she whistled loudly, grabbing their attention and excitement.

"Katie Girl!" Carlos cried her old nickname, picking her off her feet and twirling her around.

"Good evening, Lady Katliyn," Logan used his old nickname for her to tease, bowing like an idiot.

"Shut up, Sir Four Eyes," she was referring to his glasses that he wore when he was around the house instead of contacts.

"There's my Katie Cat," James took her from his brother figure's arms and kissed her cheek, being followed by the other three.

She giggled and blushed, punching his shoulder lightly. The next thing she knew, all four of them were inhauling pizzas as she tried to keep up.

"You guys are gross," the moment she said that she burped loudly, and the band laughed and teased her for it.

When things settled down, Carlos was forcing Logan to watch a horror movie as James sprawled out on the couch, fast asleep with a half eaten pizza stuck to his cheek. Kendall was writing a song with Katie, as they always did when they were home with her.

"Is everything okay?" he inquired as she sharpened her pencil.

"Yes," she put on a convincing smile, "being alone sure gives you time to be crazy and nobody judge you."

"That's great," he stuck out his tongue, "I wouldn't know. Our tour's over in a few months, then we got promised to stay at home for the rest of the year."

"Three whole months?" it almost seemed to good to believe, "oh my gosh!" She couldn't contain her joyful sobs as she threw her arms around his neck.

Three months later...

"It was too good to be true..." tears fell rabidly and freely from her eyes as she watched the horror replay on the screen. It was always the same: seeing all four of her brother figures fighting the crowd as normal, then a hater who came just to taunt them pull out a gun from the corner of the screen, hearing three shots, screams, and the screen smashing.

She was sitting alone in the living room again. Carlos was badly hurt from the panic and shot in the leg, and Logan was in a coma. James was stressed and trying to straighten out everything and make plans...for the funeral.

"Kendall, you told me to never fall in love," she paused the screen so she could stare at his face, "I never knew I shouldn't love you either."

"Katie Cat," his voice didn't even make her look up, "nobody could have known. He never wanted to leave you."

"Well neither did Dad!" she burst into harder sobs that racked her entire body, "and now I've got nobody!"

"You have your mom, you'll have Logan soon, you have Carlos, and you have me," he reminded, sliding beside her.

"NO!" she choked, "Mom's always gone, she doesn't love me! Logan will never wake up, will he? And Carlos is hurt, his leg will never be the same!" She buried her face in her hands and ran into her room, locking the door.

When she finally could sit up again, she looked at her drawer and pulled out a piece of the glass. The piece of glass her father had thrown to end his life. Had it made him happy? Would it make her happy?

"I think you forgot," suddenly, James was behind her, wrapping his arms around her, "you still have me."

"Never again..." she dropped the glass with the thought, "I will never again fall in love."

"Okay, but you do," he swore, "always."

She turned around and threw her arms around him, "Love...again..."