Twilight is not my creation. The actions in this story are however mine and I'm borrowing SM's creations.

This is all human and I'm feeling this will have a bit more language in it than my other stories.

Thank you Ohmyitsv for beta-ing this story.

Chapter 1: "Dude, if I was gay."

"Edward, get your lazy ass out of bed right now! We're having an intervention. It's been three years now. It's time to move on." I grunted and rolled away from the intruding yelling from my best friend. "Edward, so help me…I will drag you out of here and to the club dressed only in your boxers."

I held up my right hand and flipped him a very unfriendly hand gesture then buried my head under the pillow. "Go away, Jasper. It's my free day," my voice echoed into the fluffy pillow. I jumped up off the bed the second my warm blankets left me. "Damn it, Jasper!"

"Emmett it will be here in a minute, so unless you want him to assists you in showering, I suggest you get moving." Jasper crossed his arms over his chest and glared daggers at me, waiting for me to take some form of action. I glared the same daggers back at him then slowly stumbled my way into my tiny bathroom.

After three years, why are they now interfering with how I was living? Yes, I know I had become distant. Yes, I had turned into a hermit. Yes, I had lost my motivation for working. Yes, my life was in a downward spiral,but after the tragedy I had barely lived through, who wouldn't be? At some point, I had climbed into the shower and washed myself. There wasn't anything during the last twenty minutes I could remember. This wasn't new for me as of late.

"Eddie, get your bony ass out here so we can go already!"

Hearing Emmett's booming voice only succeeded in making me roll my eyes in annoyance. The club wasn't going anywhere so I was going to take my own sweet time. Maybe I would luck out; they would change their minds, and we wouldn't go. I took about ten minutes to dry off, another twenty minutes to shave, close to ten minutes to brush my teeth and an additional ten minutes to get dressed. A simple black button down shirt and dark jeans was as fancy as I wanted to get.

"EDDIE!"

"EDWARD!"

My two best friends hollered from the living room in unison and I could only imagine how annoyed they were with the fact that I had been in here for over an hour. No matter what I did or used, my hair refused to lie down and look tidy. After five minutes of fighting with it, I gave up and walked out of the bathroom.

"FINALLY!" they both sang in harmony and it brought a twitch to the corner of my mouth.

Emmett slapped my back hard then shoved me toward the door. "Come along, Eddie boy, you need to get laid."

"I don't want to get laid; I don't want a one night stand…"

"Edward, just shut up and find someone tonight. You're really starting to irritate everyone. You need to release that tension." Jasper looked apologetically at me then followed behind Emmett as he shoved me out of the house.

I fought, and carried on for the entire ten miles it took to get to the club. dV8 was the newest night club in our area and the reviews looked promising as did the exterior of the black building with blue and purple lights. I didn't care what they said; I was not going to have nameless sex with just anyone. Not tonight. Not ever. That just wasn't me.

Emmett and Jasper had to physically grab each of my arms and drag me inside the nightclub; I was that adamant about not going. They grunted, growled and cursed their way inside. Even the door attendant was looking at us oddly. I sneered triumphantly while panting heavily whenthey deposited me into a seat at the end of the bar.

"Edward, you're such a douche. I'm going to go get some beers. After hissing his insult Jasper walked toward the bar, leaving me with Emmett. Oh, joy.

I heard Emmett cracking his knuckles and slowly turned my head to glare at him. "Don't do that. You know how much I hate that!"

"That is why I do it…duh. Now, let's find you some pussy." is words were undignified and I cringed at his enthusiasm.

Jasper returned a minute later holding three beers. He handed them out to each of us then took a long drink as his eyes darted around the bar.

"Not you, too." I sighed and hung my head in defeat. Why did they have to be so involved in my sex life, or lack thereof? Upon hearing the both of them whistle, I snapped my head up to see what was going on. Their eyes wereso huge, I expected their eyeballs to fall from the sockets, and their mouths werenearly resting on the floor. I looked in the direction of their gaze. Both of them were staring at the VIP section of the bar.

It didn't take me long to find what they were whistling at. I felt my own jaw fall open as I gazed across the bar. Long, wavy, dark brown hair reaching down to her mid back,and a slender and petite body. Moreover, from what I could tell, her eyes were dark as well. The beauty was in a short navy blue dress as she laughed with an undersized girl with darker, short hair and another girl with long, brown hair. There was something about the woman with the wavy hair; she seemed familiar,but I couldn't place her face.

"Day-um, there's your girl, Eddie. She looks like a model." Emmett whistled again and for a moment, I thought he was drooling.

Model, that's who she was. Bella Swan. New up and coming supermodel located here in Seattle and expected for greatness. She was totally out of my league. There was no doubt about that.

"Edward, you should go for it. She's gorgeous."

"I agree with Jasper. Make her squeal in pleasure."

I glance across the room to the smiling beauty then turned my sights on my companions, glaring evilly. "Do you not realize who that is?" I snapped my question and waved my arm in the model's direction. They looked to each other than to me and shrugged. "That's Bella Swan, the model. There is absolutely no way on this green earth she will ever give me the time of day, let alone sleep with me."

They both erupted in laughter and I was totally confused by their sudden fit of hysterics.

"Have you never looked in a mirror? Dude, if I was gay, I would fuck you!"

"Thanks, Emmett, for that sickening mental image." I didn't even want to joke about that sort of image. I rolled my eyes then glimpsed over at the VIP lounge. I locked eyes with a pair of sparkling amber-brown orbs and I couldn't look away to save my life.

This night wasn't going to go as planned, of that I was positive.

Author Notes:

Just a warning, each chapter will be much shorter than my normal 4-5k, these will only be about 1-2k each but this will definitely be my longest fic inline of chapters.

With this story I'm trying something new. As soon as I finish a chapter I'm sending it off to my beta and as soon as I get it back and fixed, it will be posted. I have no set date for updates on this one, so you're bound to be surprised.

If you liked this and want to read more, or have suggestions of what you want to see, simply hit that little review button on the bottom.