Bella's had a rough start, living far from her family and friends. Will Edward be able to find her and put the pieces back together? This is a story about friendship, hope and redemption.

The chapters won't be too long and I'll try to update as soon as possible.

Warning- lost of explicit content, dark themes and sexual abuse.

This is my first fanfic ever. Please be honest and let me know if I should keep writing or if this first chapter caught your attention.

~ Chapter 1 – Raw Chocolate ~

Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. It is the general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled. I can't feel any of that, I'm like an empty shell, forgotten by the ones I once thought were my life.

The waves break on the boulders right next to the deck. I sit and watch them as they come and go like the rhythm of a song only they know. The light breeze soothes my soul and takes away the pain. As long as I'm sitting here, I know that nothing can destroy me. No one can hurt me more than I've hurt myself. I'm safe.

I hate the pain but I can't live without it. I don't want it to go away; it's the only reminder I have that the past was real, and that I am who I am, that I survived. The scars on my body are almost invisible with the light of the sun; they have faded but not disappeared.

"Ugh, fuck!" I murmur when I see some kids playing with their parents by the sea shore. Why can't they leave me the fuck alone?

It's been three weeks since I was rescued from hell. I close my eyes and lie on the sand, trying my best not to look back, but failing miserably.

Images of the fateful day when my life started and ended filled my mind.

=o-o=

Ordinary - that was my life in a nutshell. I lived in a small town in Texas called Surf Side Beach – population; seven-hundred and sixty-three people, more or less. My family and I had moved to this town when I was three years old and I called home.

It was nice, and I had never complained; it was always sunny and everyone knew each other. My dad, Charlie, was the chief of police and a highly respected man; my mom, Renee, was a housewife. My brother, Jacob, had been thirteen years older than me; he was in the army and left for Iraq after September 11th.

We were a normal American middle- class family and nothing out of the ordinary ever happened to us- except for Jacob. He was my father's pride and joy, the family's jewel. I missed my brother; he was my rock, my best friend, and my playmate. He liked to sit with me and play dolls, even though he made me promise not to tell anyone, and we would play with mud and go the beach to make sand castles.

I think I became an adult the day he left. I had known that letting him go meant never seeing him again. I was right.

Things were different after he left. I didn't feel my age anymore; it was as if I had been forced to grow up overnight. I couldn't relate to kids my own age. I couldn't act like a six-year-old in my own house. My mom didn't like to see me cry, and I had to be the one to take care of my parents, to make them smile, to make them want more in life. Because f that I never cried; I helped my dad around the house and tried not to bother my mom with anything.

I became a loner. I would wake up, go to school, do my homework and go to sleep. On Saturdays, I would go to Mrs. Denali's shack to make necklaces with shells, it made me happy. I liked to play with her daughters, Kate and Irina, who were much older than me. The day that Mrs. Denali passed away, I was devastated. The rest of the family moved out of state and I was left alone, again.

That was my life. Basically, we were boring. No, scratch that, my life was boring. I didn't have friends; I was a shy, pale, skinny and plain six-year-old that hid in the school's library and stilled chatted to an imaginary Jacob.

My dad was always pushing me to act more like a kid. I didn't like to play alone, and I didn't feel comfortable talking to my dolls or running around with an imaginary friend. The other kids at school made fun of me; they called me names and left me alone at the lunch table every day. I had a few classmates I liked to talk to every once in a while, but even they didn't understand me and we didn't have much in common.

My mom had become a very bitter person after my brother left. She was constantly arguing with my dad and punishing me for everything. She took everything out on me. My dad, on the other hand, was proud of his son's sacrifice. He had become a wonderful father to me, completely dedicated to my well-being, showing me one way or another how much he cared and loved me. He was awesome.

Despite his best efforts at always having a smile on his face, I could see the sadness and horrible pain in his eyes. I think that is what my mom despised the most. She wanted him to be fucking miserable too.

I swallowed the pain of watching them fighting all the time, and my mom ignoring me like I wasn't her child, and went to school without another word. I would always walk alone. Surf Side Beach wasn't a dangerous place, after all, it was full of old retired people and fishermen.

One day, after school, I was walking home and saw a moving truck pull up across the street from my house. The property had been on sale for the last year, and it was a big shock to see someone actually moving in. It was a big, classic beach house-light yellow with white fences, Victorian-style, facing the ocean, with a big front yard. It was beautiful.

Our house was a small beach-side cottage that looked like a modern surfer's shack. It stood on wooden poles high enough for the rainy season. All the houses in our neighborhood looked the same except the one across the street. I hid behind a car to see if I could catch a glimpse of out new neighbors.

I don't know why I was expecting them to look like aliens or maybe a family of old, wrinkled people, but I was definitely not ready for what I saw.

There were two kids carrying boxes into the house, one boy and a girl. Their mom was calling them from inside the house; I heard the names "Alice" and "Emmett." They all went inside and the movers started to unload all the furniture and many boxes from the truck. The house looked like a circus-there were at least six people helping them with their things.

I walked straight to my house and ran up the stairs to my room. My mom wasn't home, again. She had been leaving the house all day to meet with God knows who. I spent that afternoon watching the family across the street work on their new house. Despite the hard work and the mess, I couldn't stop myself from wondering why they all looked so happy. The mom was all smiles and the father was always kissing the top of the kid's heads.

They were a loving family and I yearned for that. Even though my dad was a good father, my family was a mess. Ever since my brother left, everything went downhill. By sundown, they had all gone inside and the show was over.

My stomach was growling and I remembered that I hadn't eaten since school. I went downstairs and made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and ate a chocolate granola bar with milk.

I went to sleep and all I could think about was that maybe, just by chance, this family would befriend me. I had to admit to myself that I needed a friend more than anyone. I needed a distraction; I wanted to be normal.

On Saturdays, I liked to sit on the sand and make sand castles; it made me happy because it was something I used to do with Jake. I missed him, but never cried over the huge hole he had left in my chest. I still talked to him at night; I told him all my secrets. I liked to speak to him when I played in the sand – it was like he was with me, like he never left.

I was just finishing up the castle when a very cheerful voice startled me.

"Wow! Did you do that?" the melodic voice asked me.

I looked up and saw the girl from across the street. She was smiling from ear to ear, with her white, toothy smile and big, blue eyes. I stood up and nodded, smiling back. It had been so long since I had any type of interaction with someone my own height. She introduced herself as Alice Cullen, extended her hand to me and I took it.

"So, did the cat eat your tongue? What's your name, stranger?" she asked; she was an extroverted little thing.

"Bella Swan, as in Isabella, but just call me Bella because I don't like my full name," I rambled.

"Okay, Bellaaa, we are going to be best friends!" she said, cheerfully.

Alice had a way with people; she wasn't afraid to be herself, nothing seemed to scare her, she was fearless and she knew how to have fun. Alice was a very pretty girl, with long, black hair and skin almost as pale as mine, but she reminded me of a fairy, or a cartoon character.

She introduced me to her two brothers. Emmett was nine years old; he looked a lot like Alice, with his black hair and blue eyes. He was tall and intimidating. Then there was Alice's other brother, Edward. He was seven years old, skinny, had tiny freckles, and he had green eyes and copper hair. He had a dazzling smile and like me, he was shy. Yes, he was beautiful, in a cute kind of way. They were all very good looking kids, like they belonged to a Gap catalog or something like that. Life wasn't fair.

Edward Cullen stole my heart that day at the beach. He didn't say much but his smile spoke a million words. I watched him play in the water with his brother; he was good on a surfboard. Their father, Carlisle, as they introduced him to me, was also playing with all looked very funny chasing the waves. Alice and I built another castle, and then she brought popsicles from her house.

"Who is Jake? I heard you talking to a Jake," she asked after we finished our treats. The question caught me off guard. I had never told anyone about my brother. Everyone at school knew that he had left to fight for our country but no one had ever asked me anything about him.

"My brother," I murmured, digging a hole in the sand to bury the Popsicle stick.

Alice didn't say anything for what seemed like minutes. I even thought she had dropped the subject until she stood up and reached her hand out for me to hold it.

"Where is your brother?" she asked.

"He passed away," I said, hiding the sadness in my voice. I heard Alice gasp and instantly she wrapped me in a tight embrace, rubbing my back like a mom would.

That day, Alice and I became best friends, just like she had predicted.

The next months were out of this world; I hadn't smiled and laughed so much in a very long time. The Cullens invited me to their house almost every day. Their mom, Esme, was a lovely woman. She baked the most delicious gingerbread cookies, and she always took Alice and me with her to the ice cream shop. I wanted her to be my mom- she was everything my mom wasn't.

My friendship with the Cullen boys was also growing by the minute. Emmett introduced me to video games, and Edward introduced me to the world of astrology. That boy was very fond of the mysteries of the universe. He knew the name of all the stars by heart, every constellation and every galaxy.

Edward had a huge telescope in his room and one night, after watching a movie at their house, he asked me if I wanted to see something really cool. He held my hand, took me to his room, and showed me his big treasure. The telescope was impressive and when I peeped in the hole and saw the bright stars shining so close, it was beautiful. He explained to me that if I knew how to locate the constellations, I would never get lost. That night I discovered that Edward was by far the smartest kid I had ever known.

On my seventh birthday, my dad threw me a birthday party in the basement. We called it the basement because it was right below the house, but it was just an open space. There were tiki torches and twinkle lights hanging from the bar stools, beach hammocks and a big table with a huge purple cake. Alice had our poor stereo at full volume with her music. A few kids from school showed up; Angela, Ben, Victoria and Jasper. Emmett and Edward were there, of course.

We played hide and seek, pin the tail on the donkey and later at night, Ben, the oldest kid suggested we play spin the bottle. My dad had left upstairs to be with my mom, and would only check on us every twenty or thirty minutes. Did I mention I had the most responsible parents ever?

When it was my turn to kiss someone, and that someone was Jasper, I shrieked in embarrassment and backed out. Everyone booed at me for being such a baby. Jasper stood up and knelt in front of me, and just when he was close enough to kiss me, I turned my head and heard a loud thud.

When I opened my eyes, I found Edward on top of Jasper punching and hitting the crap out of him. I didn't know what to do or say, I didn't know what to think. My seven-year-old brain couldn't make out what was happening, so I just ran off and hid in the closet. I felt like a coward. Edward was fighting with poor Jasper because he tried to kiss me when I obviously didn't want to kiss him back.

Several minutes passed and the noise of the commotion ceased. The door opened and I gasped.

"There you are, baby Swan; everyone is waiting for you to open the presents," Edward said, smiling in relief. Baby Swan was his pet name for me. I noticed that his left eye was purple from the fight. I apologized for it and suddenly felt guilty for his purple eye.

"I'm sorry. I just don't like fights," I said, tears forming in my eyes. I hated to cry in front of people.

Edward reached for my hand, and pulled me out of the closet, and then with his other hand he brushed away a tear and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I just didn't want him to kiss you," he said, staring at me with those big green eyes. Alice came bouncing in at that moment, interrupting our conversation, and dragged me out to face the guests.

Edward had admitted to my face that he didn't want anyone to kiss me. That must have meant something, right?

He had been acting all charming around me, always holding my hand whenever he had the chance, bringing me ice cream and sharing his surfboard with me. He was a great friend - a very cute, awesome friend. I liked spending time with him more than I admitted to myself.

I liked to sit next to him on the couch to watch movies. I loved the way he smelled, and the way his hair was always a mess. We liked to ride our bikes on Sundays and chase the seagulls on the boardwalk. He came to my house and helped me with my homework so I could then play with Alice, Emmett and him.

When Edward said he didn't want anyone to kiss me, I felt my stomach do flips and my toes curl, I was beyond excited. The feeling was so foreign to me - I was just a little kid, but my heart was big enough to be captivated by Edward.

That night, after everyone left, I went to the Cullens house for a pajama party. The gifts I received were all very nice, Alice gave me a personalized teddy bear with a sky blue outfit and flip flops, Emmett gave me a new set of beach toys for my sand castles, and Edward gave a book of constellations. It was by far my favorite present.

That night, after everyone left, I said goodbye to my parents and left with Alice to go to her house for a pajama party. It was the first slumber party of my life. I was beyond excited, especially because I wanted to spend more time with Edward.

"Swan, come here. I have your birthday present," Edward called from his room.

"You already gave me a birthday present, Edward," I said, rolling my eyes playfully.

"I know that, silly girl. I just want to show you something," he pointed out.

I jumped with excitement, and ran upstairs to find him against the wall playing with a silver box with a pink bow on it.

"What is it, Eddie?" My voice broke the silence and he looked up at me, smiling his big toothy grin.

I crossed the room deliberately slowly, feeling shy all of a sudden around him. I really liked him; he had become my best friend. I trusted him, and sometimes, before falling asleep, I would imagine us together as grownups - holding hands and kissing, walking down the aisle, and even having a baby with him. I even named our babies Erin and Adam. Yes, I was a precocious seven-year-old, sue me!

"I,umm, have something else for you, Bella," he said with his velvet voice, bringing me back to the present. Looking down at the small box, he handed it to me with a shaking hand.

I narrowed my eyes at him and took the box, eyeing him playfully. I tore off the pink satin bow and opened the box. There, laid the most beautiful, elegant and sparkling silver necklace with a star pendant. It was shiny and just perfect. I looked up at Edward and he was a nervous wreck. When he saw me smile, he let go of all the air he was holding in his lungs.

"Do you like it?" he asked, concerned.

"Oh my God, Edward, this is so pretty!" I said enthusiastically; I was more than happy.

I adored the necklace; it was not too flashy, and it represented so much more because he had given it to me.

He took the necklace, and asked me to turn around so he could fasten it. I let my hair down after he finished and turned to face him. He was so happy. His eyes were wide open and the moonlight coming from the window made them look like deep emerald lagoons.

"Thank you, Edward," I said and gave him a hug. He was taller than me and I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed him tight.

"You are my favorite star, Bella," he said in my ear, and tears began streaming from my eyes. I wiped them away quickly; I didn't want him to see me cry again.

"Look, Bella! A shooting star!" he called joyfully, letting go of me. He turned us around to his window, and we both stared at the sky that was giving us the most precious gift. Like a shooting star parade, the dark sky was illuminated by a shower of flashing lights. I had never seen anything like that before, not even in the movies.

"Bella, make a wish," Edward said, holding me tight with his arm around my shoulder.

"Ugh, stupid shooting stars won't make my dreams come true, Edward," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Don't you roll your pretty eyes at me, Baby Swan. You are so stubborn! Just close your eyes and make a wish," he ordered. What a dork, I thought to myself. I closed my eyes and made my wish. Before I could open my eyes, I felt something soft and tender like silk touch my lips. It was warm and it felt like heaven.

Edward was kissing me and when I realized I was being kissed by the cutest boy I knew, I melted. My heart literally did a double jump. It felt like it was melting like a puddle of goo inside my chest. It was an innocent kiss, sweet and gentle, but it was perfect.

"Wow, that was fast," I murmured to myself, but obviously he heard me.

"What? The kiss? It was my first kiss, and I'm sorry if it was bad, but please don't hate me, because I really liked it and—"He started to ramble, so I put my finger to his lips to shut him up.

"Not the kiss, silly, the wish. I guess shooting stars aren't stupid after all," I said, staring sweetly at his eyes.

He chuckled and ruffled my hair playfully.

"And it was my first kiss too… it was perfect, thank you," I said shyly.

After that night, Edward and I became inseparable - more than we already were. We played on the beach almost every day after school. We watched movies together, studied together, and spent recess playing on the jungle gym or on the swings. He held my hand on the beach and gave me sweet pecks on the lips when nobody was watching. We didn't want our parents to freak out over their precocious kids. He sent me love letters at school and gave me flowers. It was all so perfect and romantic.

Edward was always taking care of me, making sure that I was okay, always telling me how much he liked me, and whispering sweet nothings in my ear. "You smell like an angel, Bella," or "You look so pretty in that dress," he would say all the time. It made me feel so special and pretty.

I didn't know what he saw in me; I wasn't a very pretty girl and I knew it. I had brown wavy hair and brown eyes, my skin was pale as a ghost, and being invisible came easy to me. Somehow he made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. He called me his star, his princess, and more recently…his life. How could an eight year old be so romantic? It was just Edward - he was different, he was special.

Yes, my life was perfect. I was a happy child and I was surrounded by wonderful people. Years passed and we all started growing up together like one big happy family. Esme and Carlisle loved me like a daughter, and my friends were always there for me.

My dad kept showing his love toward me more and more every day, andhe was happy to see me happy. My mom was always absent; she was always busy with one thing or another, and when she was home, she would hide in her bedroom and sulk. I decided to just ignore her and live my life.

I was still very young, but I had a very mature attitude. I looked fragile and small on the outside, but on the inside, I was strong and smart. I took care of myself and Edward was always by my side. I learned to fend for myself, had good grades,and knew how to fix lunch and dinner.

Life was good, and I was grateful. I still missed my brother, and it hurt to see my mother act like a stranger, but I knew that as long as I had my dad and my friends, I would be able to live a happy life.

=o-o=

I stretch in the sand and pull on my Ray-Bans. I look back to the beginning and can't help but smile to myself a little. Everything would have been simpler if only I had been wiser.

So much thinking gives me a headache; I stand and rub my temples with my hands. My skin is burning in the sun but I don't care - It feels good to be warm. I thought I had forgotten the feeling of the heat of the sun on my skin, and like déjà vu it all comes flooding back to the surface.

"Motherfuckers," I mutter to the family who are still playing in the water. Life is not that simple; someday you'll be broken just like me. Just you wait… I keep telling them, but they can't hear me.

I walk along the deck, holding my shoes in one hand and my journal in the other. My toes sink in the sand and it feels so good. Far away on the horizon, I spot the big yellow house. It's empty, of course. The Cullens moved out several years ago. I can only wonder where Edward is. Like all I had before, he is gone.

I stand up and turn my face away from the happy family before I get sick. Before long, my feet have taken me all the way to the front of the house.

It looks smaller than I remembered. The paint has faded and the fence is broken. I want to peek inside but it hurts too much. I feel that gut-awful pain in the pit of my stomach, and I wrap my arms around my torso to keep myself together.

"Fucking hell! Why?" I complain, kicking the fence and cursing at the house.

The shrink said it was a bad idea to come, but I didn't listen. Now I regret ever coming here. It hurts too much.

I curl myself in that hidden spot, behind the boulder in front of the house, and close my eyes. The sound of the ocean brings me peace. I haven't washed my hair in a week and my face is wet from the tears, sand is sticking to my cheeks, but I ignore it. I don't move. I want to go back to that last moment of happiness and find what I once felt. Love.

= O-O =

Okay, so I know many things are not clear yet, but I promise everything has a purpose in this story.

I hope you liked this intro! Any questions or concerns please let me know.

Please leave me a REVIEW.