Like liquid-fied crimson rose petals...
September 25
I'd tear my heart out...
If you said you'd be impressed...
Yami was currently standing under a large oak tree. It was autumn, and the red leaves fell all around him. Swirling and dancing with the soft breeze before landing gracefully upon the lush green grass, littering the ground. Ruby colored eyes stared longingly at a tall brunet that was standing on the small bridge, which hung above a rushing river, only half a mile away. Yami bit his lower lip and turned to leave when he saw a blonde walk up to the tall teen. Kaiba hugged Jounouchi before claiming the blonde's lips, throwing discreetness into the autumn wind. All could see, but the two teens didn't seem to care.
Yami felt a constricting feeling in the pit of his stomach, ever since the two had "come out of the closet" the CEO wouldn't even glance at him unless it concerned dueling, but lately Kaiba occupied his time with Jou. And the times that Yami treasured most, the times when Kaiba was focused on him and him only, were suddenly tore away. All because Kaiba had found "the love of his life." It hurt so much, and all the tri-colored haired teen wanted to do was tear out his heart so that he wouldn't have to feel the pain. The pain that all those that ever loved felt.
I wonder if it would impress him, thought Yami, a sad smile playing on his lips.
October 6
I'd pretend to be a damsel in distress.
If you promised to be my knight in shining armor...
Yami watched from inside the classroom window. It was lunch time and everyone had left for food, only Yami remained. Outside, teens were eating, gaily talking to their friends in a friendly chat, and fooling around. Yami only had eyes for the fight that was currently happening, hidden from curious eyes. Jou was currently getting beat up by a bunch of bullies from another school. The bullies justified their act by saying that they heard that Jounouchi was the strongest at Domino High and in order to be the best they had to beat Jou. The blonde tried to fight back but was obviously out powered, 8 to 1.
Yami found pleasure in watching Jounouchi in pain. Enjoyed the frightened look in honey colored eyes. Enjoyed the blood that dripped down from numerous wounds. Yami felt a twinge of guilt; he should help Jounouchi after all they were friends. But a metallic taste in his mouth caused Yami to spit on the ground. Jou and he weren't friends. Jou looked up to Yami, but not as a friend. Jou and everyone else was Yuugi's friend. Yami was left to be the loner.
"Everyone should fight by themselves, only then will they know their true strength," Yami said, convincing him that Jou shouldn't need his help.
Then Kaiba came. Beat the teens up and saved Jou. Kaiba came like a knight in shining armor.
And Yami felt the pain again. And it hurt.
Jou's pathetic, Yami thought. Needing someone to rescue him. But secretly Yami knew that he would give anything just for Kaiba to save him like that, to be his knight in shining armor.
November 7
I'd let you rip my jeans...
If you swore not to rip my heart...
The bell had just rung and a swarm of teenagers rushed to their lockers, so that they could head home. Only one stayed, Yami Motou. Yami had got detention that day because he had accidentally started a small fire in chemistry. It really was an accident. After all, Yami was paying no attention to what he was doing, only to the brunet a couple of seats away from him and therefore didn't notice the flames licking his clothes until he felt the heat upon his arm and looked down and saw the burning orange light. Luckily Yami could still control the shadows and remained unharmed.
Sakuya-sensei had chastised Yami for causing the flames, which burned her hand. Yami had pretended to listen but silently apologized for her wound. Upon reaching Mr. Miyatomo's room, Yami opened the door and found a horrible sight in front of him.
"Mmm. Deeper Kaiba. Deeper," Jounouchi moaned. And Kaiba began to go faster, and harder and most likely deeper. Yami stood there staring, admiring Seto's body until he realized what he was witnessing. Yami almost cried right there and then, but held back his tears until he was running alone in the hallways.
I'd let you do that to me Seto, just have to promise never to break my heart, Yami thought as he opened the school doors and reached the front of the school. Wiping away his tears. Saving them until he reached his bedroom.
December 8
I'd open up and let you in...
If you vowed never to leave...
The music resounded in Yami's ears as he stared lifelessly at the party around him. In a couple days Winter Break would start and they would soon be able to do something other than school for 2 weeks. Besides Christmas was coming soon and a new year was about to begin.
Crimson eyes scanned the crowd spotting everyone but the one he desperately wanted to see. He had been avoiding Kaiba like the plague ever since he witnessed the sinful dance in Mr. Miyamoto's classroom. That was a month ago, but Yami refused to do anything relating with Kaiba. Except for the occasional watching him from afar, and looking through his box of anything and everything that had to do with Kaiba.
Ohio is for lovers by Hawthorne Heights came on and a soft knocking at the door aroused Yami's attention. Hopefully it would be the handsome CEO. Jounouchi walked up to the door and opened it. There stood Kaiba, a smirk on his face.
"May I come in Mutt?" asked Kaiba.
"I opened the door. Why wouldn't I let you in?" asked Jou, and Kaiba stepped inside refusing to take off his trench coat.
"Hey Jou, Honda is feeling up Shizuka!" someone yelled.
"Shit," Jounouchi cursed. "I told him hands off. Got to go." With that the blonde quickly pecked Kaiba on the cheek and headed towards the kitchen where Shizuka and Honda were last seen.
Cerulean eyes scanned the crowd and Yami did his best to blend in with the shadows without calling upon the puzzle. But to his disappointment Kaiba spotted him and headed his way.
Yami couldn't move. He was stuck in the corner. His legs refused to obey the commands his body gave.
Just one foot in front of the other and I might make it out of here before he reaches me, thought Yami.
"But I don't want to go," he whispered as sudden realization hit him and he found the darkness of his black Chuck Taylor's very amusing.
"Hey," a smooth voice greeted.
Yami looked up to lock eyes with blue. And the scene from that one day replayed itself over and over again in Yami's head.
"Yami are you alright?" asked the blue eyed boy.
"Kaiba?" asked Yami, tears welling up in his eyes. "Don't leave me."
"I won't. I won't," Kaiba vowed, taking Yami into his embrace. Yami cried and cried, relishing the warmth Kaiba offered. Knowing that what the teen had said was a lie, but glad that he could be held like this.
December 11
Most of the time I'm jealous of every person that hugged you...
Because for that moment they held my everything...
: Yami:: asked Yuugi through their mind link.
: Yes, hikari:: asked Yami.
: You seem so sad. What's wrong:: Yuugi said, and Yami could feel the link strengthen as his light walked towards him. Leaving Anzu and Honda watching the TV, and Kaiba and Jounouchi hugging each other on the love seat.
"Nothing aibou," whispered Yami as Yuugi sat beside him.
"Something's wrong. You can tell me you know," Yuugi prodded.
"It's nothing," Yami stated, his voice firm letting Yuugi know that the subject was off limits.
"Yami, do you know why Jou picked Kaiba? I mean I've always been there for him and Kaiba was always making fun of him. Why?" asked Yuugi sadness lacing his words.
Because Kaiba is one hot asshole, thought Yami.
"I don't know, Young One. But have hope, one day Jou might realize that Kaiba is the wrong one for him," Yami answered.
That is all I ever hope, thought Yami.
"I don't think that that is ever going to happen. They seem perfect for each other, happy," whispered Yuugi.
I know, thought Yami miserably.
"Yami did you know that I'm jealous of every person that hugs Jou?" interrogated the amethyst eyed teen.
"Why?" asked Yami.
"Because for that one moment they held my everything," replied Yuugi.
That's how I feel right now about Kaiba, thought Yami.
"Never make someone everything to you because you might end up with nothing," whispered Yami in reply.
"I know," said Yuugi a frown marring his cherubic features. But soon it was replaced with a smile. "At least I can dream."
Dreams are such magnificent things, thought Yami thinking about his dream the night before.
December 17
And people mock me for making you my everything...
Because if you left I'd have nothing...
"Pharaoh," stated Bakura. "You shouldn't make the same mistakes as your past. The priest will never be yours. You'll always have nothing."
"What are you talking about tomb robber?" asked Yami staring at the teen with emotionless eyes.
"The priest chose Jono over you. People loved you but you only had eyes the priest. You put the priest before you country. You made the priest your everything and when the priest told you that he was in love with someone your heart shattered. You were left with nothing."
"Are you mocking me?"
"No, I am giving you advice. Only make someone your everything when you know for sure that person won't leave you."
"Why would you want to give me advice? I thought you wanted me dead."
"I want you dead and in pain. I want to be the one to inflict the hurt. I want to be the one who sent your soul to the afterlife. I just want you to be happy."
"You are a hypocrite."
"Aren't I?" And Bakura walked away leaving Yami to ponder their conversation.
December 21
And it doesn't hurt if you lie...
Because you're truths will kill me...
Yami was currently strolling around the park enjoying the cold winter air. It was never this cold in Egypt, and Yami relished the feel of it tingling against his skin. This was something that he craved for after being in the sun's light in those ancient times.
He stopped at a bench on top of a hill with a large sakura tree standing beside it. Slowly he took in the view in front of him. The park was barren and the lights from various stores shone brightly against the darkness of the night. A full moon hung in the sky and stars surrounded the rock.
So much different than in Egypt, thought Yami closing his eyes. Relaxing his muscles and letting the soft wind lull him to sleep.
"You know, I could've raped you," a voice startled Yami out of his slumber.
Eyelids opened to show ruby eyes, and a small yawn escaped his lips. Realizing that it was late, real late, Yami called upon his shadow magic, a third eyes appearing on his forehead.
"So you're gonna send me to the shadow realm huh?" asked the voice, amusement lacing each word.
Yami recognized that voice. Rich, silky, and smooth. It could only belong to… Seto Kaiba.
"Kaiba?" asked Yami.
"Yeah, still gonna send me to the shadow realm?"
"Nah, then I wouldn't have anyone worthy to challenge," Yami said. Wishing that Kaiba would stay there and never leave.
"Is that it?" asked Kaiba and Yami could faintly hear sadness in his voice. But the ex-pharaoh quickly dismissed it.
"Yeah, I'm in love with having a good fight against a worthy opponent. Nothing else can get my blood rushing," Yami answered.
"Yeah I'm in love too," Kaiba said.
"With Jou or with a good challenge?" asked Yami, fearing it was the first and wishing against hope that Kaiba was in love with him. Kaiba didn't answer his question. Changing the subject.
"I'm planning on asking someone to marry me, but I'm scared that he'd reject me," Kaiba whispered.
"I don't think Jou would reject you," replied Yami. The constricting feeling was returning to his chest. And it hurt a million no a billion times more than before. It was unbearable.
"I- I better go. Yuugi is probably worried about me," Yami choked, getting up and leaving a teary eyed Kaiba on the bench.
Bakura was right, I did get my heart broken. Even though this is the first time I've accepted the fact, thought Yami, crying.
"You fool, I was going to ask you," Kaiba whispered but Yami didn't hear.
December 24
And I'd have to acknowledge...
That you will never be mine...
"One more day until Christmas! So make a Christmas wish, and hopefully someone will hear it, and cause it to come true!" chanted Yuugi as he played a game of Duel Monsters against Jou.
"Ne Yuugi, what's your Christmas wish?" asked Jou, drawing a card.
"To have the one I love, love me," replied Yuugi as Jounouchi passed.
"Who's the lucky bitch?" asked Jou.
"It's a guy," said Yuugi.
"Oh," replied Jounouchi.
"Ne, Jou-kun what's your Christmas wish?" asked Yuugi changing the subject.
"For the one I love to be happy," answered Jou.
"Kaiba-san seems happy though," replied Yuugi. At this comment the talkative blonde fell silent.
"Yami what's your Christmas wish?" asked Kaiba.
"The same as Yuugi's," answered the teen, sipping a cup of hot cocoa.
"So is it a boy or a girl?" replied Kaiba.
"A male."
"So what's your Christmas wish?" asked Yami.
"To finally have the guts to ask him," stated Kaiba.
"You haven't asked him yet?" a surprised look came upon his face.
"I think I'll ask him on Christmas," answered Kaiba.
"You really do love him, don't you?" asked Yami.
"Yeah."
You'll never be mine will you? The dragon who refuses a magician, thought Yami as he continued sipping his beverage and watching the duel between Yuugi and Jounouchi.
December 25
Leaving me to cut myself...
And drown in a pool of blood...
Like liquefied crimson rose petals...
Yami looked at the razor in his hand and looked at the pain killers beside him. Glancing at the digital alarm clock the ex-pharaoh concluded that it was 5:00 am and that Yuugi would not return until 6:30 to start decorating the shop and Grandpa would not wake until 6:00 am to start tending the shop. That left him plenty of time to do what he had planned to do.
Slowly he took the razor and left a long cut on his wrist that marred his bronze skin.
I can never be happy because he loves someone else.
Yami let the blood flow from his wound wishing that it would bleed faster. So he made another slash on his wrists.
The door creaked open.
Shit I forgot that Kaiba had stayed the night. Quickly Yami made another gash on his arm, one that was deeper and longer than the first two.
Kaiba quickly ran towards the bleeding teen. He cradled the smaller boy in his arms, as Yami's blood soaked his shirt.
"Yami don't die on me. I love you," Kaiba stated tears welling up in his eyes.
But Yami was already lost in the inky black shadows and couldn't really decipher what the CEO had said. But it sounded strangely like I love you.
Did I really hear you say...
You love me?