"Maybe you should move out and find a new roommate."
Easy for Kurt to say, Rachel thought. He wasn't here, in New York City all alone. He was still home in Lima where everything was small and narrow-minded, but also safe and familiar.
"Turn around," his voice through the phone requested.
Perplexed, she turned her head and caught a glimpse, through the spray of the fountain, of a familiar figure in a suit. Her heart leapt before she even fully processed what she was seeing, the poofed-up hair, the smile, the straight posture and the striped strap of the messenger bag over his shoulder. She froze, caught on an edge between hope and disbelief, as he raised his hand in a wave. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and suddenly realized she was doing both as she ran around the fountain and threw herself at him.
She buried her face in his shoulder as he lifted her off the ground. It wasn't their usual style to be this physically affectionate, but this felt like being hugged by HOME. It was the closest to home she'd been since her dads had visited a month ago, and watching them go had nearly killed her. The knot in her stomach loosened, as she realized that she wasn't alone anymore. Not alone.
Her feet touched the ground again and she loosened her grip.
"I can't believe you're here. Are you staying, Kurt? Did you mean it, that we can be roommates?" she asked breathlessly as she held his face in her hands.
"Yes, I'm staying. And yes, if you want us to be," he answered with a wide grin.
"More than anything," she said as she hugged him again. "I can't tell you what hell it's been, rooming with the Whore of Babylon." She finally took her arms from around his neck, wiping at her tears. She laughed, and then realized tears were still falling, wiping at them again.
"You okay?" Kurt asked, looking at her with concern. He reached into his bag and produced a travel pack of tissues.
"I….." She tried to think of a way to explain. "I'm better, now that you're here. But it's been so hard, Kurt. I haven't had anyone to talk to, I can't get the sleep I need, my classes are grueling and I just…..I never knew being in a city of millions could be so lonely," she finished, letting out an exhale that almost turned into a sob. She dabbed at her face with the tissue.
"Come on," Kurt said, slinging an arm across her shoulders. "Do you have a favorite coffee shop yet?"
"Not an absolute favorite, but I know one near here."
"You and I are going to sit down with coffee, and talk. It'll all be better, you'll see."
She reciprocated with an arm around his waist, and tried to match her pace to his longer strides as they strolled out of the park, gawking for a moment at a toy poodle whose fur had been died pink. They managed to make it across busy Columbus Circle intact, then walked a couple blocks to a small coffee shop.
They settled at a table in the back corner, where it was relatively quiet at this mid-afternoon hour. They sipped for a moment, eyeing each other with quiet smiles.
"I can't believe you're here," Rachel said finally, setting her cup down. "I know you said you were going to re-audition for next semester, but what made you decide to come now?" She waited while he studied his cup silently, running his finger around the lid.
"I couldn't stay in Lima for another minute," he answered, still looking down. "I kept trying to tell myself that it wouldn't be so bad to stay for another year, that at least I wouldn't have to leave Blaine, and we could come together next year after he'd graduated. But…..I just couldn't do it," he shrugged.
"And what about Blaine?" she asked softly.
"I nearly changed my mind when we said goodbye. But he was the one who gave me the final push I needed, told me to go." His smile was bittersweet.
"Sounds like someone else I know," she replied, and could hear outright bitterness in her own voice. "Did he take you to the train station and practically shove you on board, with no warning?"
"Umm….no. He sang a song to me in the courtyard at McKinley. Look, Rachel-" He leaned forward and reached out for her hand, which she let him hold. "Finn was trying to do the right thing for you, for both of you. He put you on that train because he didn't want to hold you back. And we all know the discipline of the Army could do him some good."
She took her hand back and crossed her arms, knowing she probably looked like a petulant child but not really caring at the moment. "And did he have any idea how much it would hurt me, to be dumped on my wedding day, shipped off with no warning?"
He gave her a look, the one she recognized as 'don't try that with me' and her frustration kicked up a notch. "You and I both know that the entire Glee Club wouldn't have been enough to manhandle you onto that train if you truly didn't want to go. The final choice was yours, Rachel, just like it always was. Did you ever stop to ask yourself how hard it was for Finn?"
"Not so hard he couldn't do it," she muttered, looking down into her lap.
"Rachel, look at me," she heard before reluctantly raising her head to meet her friend's direct gaze. "You didn't see him after you left. He was wrecked. He didn't want to lose you, but he knew he couldn't keep you there just for him."
She stayed silent, all the 'buts' racing through her head that she didn't voice because none of it made a difference now.
"Can you honestly tell me, even with all the problems you've had adjusting here, that you'd rather be back in Lima?" Kurt asked softly.
She sighed before admitting, "No. I love it here, in spite of everything. I've known since Nationals our junior year, that this is where I belong."
"And Finn knew that too. Putting you on that train may have been the single most mature thing he's ever done in his life."
She sipped her coffee, giving herself a moment. She'd told herself those same things many times, and her dads had told her that they wanted to see her follow her dreams in New York rather than get married so young. It didn't change how much it hurt, but now, all these months later, she was starting to understand that maybe Finn had had his reasons for sending her away.
Her musings were interrupted by the buzzing of Kurt's cell phone. He picked it up and smiled as he read the screen. "It's Blaine. I texted him when I got here and said I was going to look for you. He wants to know if I've found you yet."
She smiled. "You found me. Tell him I said hi."
Kurt nodded, already tapping out a reply.
"So…." she started as he put down his phone, ready to change the subject. "Roomies?"
"Definitely," he smiled. "Do you know of any good places to rent?"
"Well….." She picked up her cup again and sat back in her chair, crossing a leg beneath her. "There are tons of places for rent, but it's all so expensive and trying to find a good place is a nightmare."
"Well, what did you do over the summer, before you moved into the dorm?"
"I lucked out because I was able to sublet a room from a NYADA student who was doing summer stock in North Carolina. But she came back right before the semester started. My dads came to visit then, and helped me move out of the sublet and into the dorms. We stayed in a hotel for a few days while getting me moved."
"Lucky you didn't have to do that for more than a few days, and that your dads were here to pay for it. Speaking of which, will they help you pay to live off-campus?"
She gave him her own look over her cup. "I'm going to assume that's a rhetorical question. I'm a spoiled only child and my dads are so glad I'm not married right now, they'll probably give me anything I ask for."
"Must be nice," he replied, but there was no true jealousy in it.
"I don't mean to pry, but what about you? Will you be able to afford living in New York?"
"I sold my Navigator," he answered.
"Oh no…..I thought you loved that truck."
"I did, but I wanted this more. That and the money I saved from helping my dad at the shop this summer should get me started. But I have to be careful. I'm booked into a hotel for now, and one night there is pricier than anything in the new Prada fall line. If we can't find a place to rent quickly, I might have to move to a youth hostel just to save money. And that is NOT a possibility I want to contemplate, I can promise you. But I only have a few thousand to get started here, till I can find a job, and I can't use it all on hotels."
"Well, I would say you can stay with me at the dorm, if I could offer a more sleep-friendly environment. Technically, we're not supposed to have overnight guests, but that hasn't stopped my roommate from having a different guy over every night."
"Is she really having loud sex EVERY night?"
"Every night," she confirmed. "And I have the bags under my eyes to prove it." She jabbed a finger toward her own eyes to prove her point.
"Concealer, Rachel."
"There's not enough concealer in the world. You just don't know."
"So why are you putting up with it?" he questioned. "The Rachel Berry I know would never stand for the disruption to her beauty sleep."
He was right, Rachel knew. In high school she was a force to be reckoned with, the yappy terrier that everyone would finally throw a treat or toy at, just to make her shut up. But how to explain to Kurt, who only knew that Rachel, how very small she felt here, even when absolutely certain that she belonged?
"I've asked her to not bring guys back to the room," she answered finally, "but she ignores me. I threatened to report her and she threatened to put all my sheet music through a shredder." She couldn't stop the involuntary shudder. "I just…..I don't want to make enemies here, Kurt. I've been by myself all this time. It's not like at McKinley when the New Directions would stick together and help each other out. And my dads aren't right down the road if I get in over my head."
"Well, that all changes now." He set his cup down with a quiet thunk on the wooden table and slapped his knees. "I'm here, and we'll tackle The Big Apple together, slutty roommates and all!"
She couldn't help it, she laughed with pure relief. "It's so nice to not be alone anymore," she smiled at him. "So what do you want to do? Do you want to stay in the hotel while we look for a place? Or brave my dorm room? I can't promise you'll be able to sleep through the night."
"Maybe we should do something about that," he said with a calculating look. "If we can get her to stop practicing her horizontal mambo, just long enough for us to find a place and move you out, then I can save what money I have for deposits on a rental."
"What do you have in mind?" she asked.
He grinned wickedly. "Lidocaine in her lube?"
"Kurt!" She couldn't help giggling at the sheer audacity of the suggestion.
"A website advertising her skills for a small fee?" he smirked.
"You can't be serious. You'd get us arrested!" she accused, laughing harder.
"Halfway serious about the lidocaine. But I'm sure we can come up with something. Tell me about her….does she have any allergies?"
"We can't poison her, no matter how tempted I might be at 2 am every night."
"Fine, then!" He threw up his hands. "What…annoys her?"
"Well, she really hates it when I try to practice for my classes in the room. She doesn't like showtunes."
"I'm sorry? She's in NYADA and she doesn't like showtunes?"
"She's in the Drama program, not the Musical Theatre program. She thinks musicals are annoying and not 'true' acting," Rachel explained, making air quotes with her fingers.
The grin Kurt aimed at her now was mischievous enough to make her glad that she wasn't the target.
"Rachel, between the two of us we know just about every musical produced in the past 50 years. Which means," he waggled his brows, "we have all the ammo we need in a war against your showtunes-hating roommate."