This idea had been on my mind for already over 2 years... And I have just recently got the nerve to write it down. All thanks to RuxandraHohenheim who kept on forcing me to write, even made me promise to update in May. Ruxandra, you see? I have kept my promise! *smiles* anyway... on to the story.

Declaimer: I don't own D. Grey -Man. All the rights go to Katsuro Hoshino. But I do own the idea and the plot and everything connected to it.

First Night - Rebirth

"One person cannot change the world. A spring won't come with just one flower..."

He will never forget that night. The stormy, restless night when his close friend entered his office with a little boy with midnight-black hair fast asleep in his arms. Nor will he ever forget the conversation they had or the defeated look in slightly taller man's eyes. It had hurt a lot to see one of the strongest man in Black Order that broken.

Earlier that day there was a funeral. The Order had lost two of its exorcists in Japan, a couple – Albert and Liza. They were trying to protect the boy that was now in the man's arms and his mother, trying to buy enough time for the backup to arrive… But they failed… When the backup arrived after all they were greeted with a surprising sight. The boy had somehow synchronized with Albert's innocence and was fighting the Akuma protecting the wounded Liza. Newcomers joined the fight and soon all Akuma were defeated, but it didn't change the fact that their friends have died. When the last Akuma fell the boy suddenly desynchronized with the innocence and fell on the ground unconscious. It was decided that he must be taken to the Order's Asian branch and take a part in Second Exorcist project.

Now that he was thinking of that day he kept on asking himself the same question.

Was there really no other way?

Did they really have to let them take the boy? Let them erase all of his memories, take everything he had from him and give him a new life with a new name and memories of the past that were not his. Sure they decided that it was the best for his protection, but… did they really have no other choice back then? Couldn't they have hidden the boy?

Komui Lee sighed deeply. Who was he kidding? At that time that was the best they can do for the boy… But he still felt guilty. He hoped that Zhu Mei Chan was wrong and the boy was still alive. That he just desynchronized with innocence like he had done when little. He will never forgive himself if the boy died not even knowing who he really is. And it was so easy to do that. He just had to call him by his real name, and yet…

The Chinese man sighed again looking up to the heavens. Why God was so cruel with those who he chooses to be his fighters? Is he testing them, or is this some kind of sick game God is playing with Devil? Is he just trying to prove to his eternal enemy that no matter what his soldiers will be loyal to him? Isn't he afraid that they will brake someday? After all, they are just humans… and humans are weak…

"Please…" He could hear his voice speak. "Please, don't make him suffer more than you already have… He is just an innocent boy… Just a boy…"

Somewhere far away from the Black Order a young man was sitting on the roof of the highest building of the long abandoned town looking at the distance. His eyes were full of different kind of emotions – confusion, hurt, sadness, doubt, pain, fear... He kept on repeating what happened after they arrived at Matel.

He held Alma Karma in his arms as they both watched the Ark dissolve.

"What a poor child…" Alma began talking. "I can understand it… Us, Akuma, who are clones of the Millennium Earl… Can feel it… That child is a Noah… And the one who was really at odds with the Earl ARGH!"

"Don't speak, you idiot." He tried to stop Alma from using the little strength he had left.

"Yuu… Please just observe… Don't use your Innocence…"

"I know…"

"Until my soul is crushed by the Dark Matter… Ahh…" It was obvious that it was becoming harder and harder for him to speak. "I still can't forgive the order… I hate them… so much. But… I deserve to sink in the mud… I killed many people… even going so far as lending my strength to the Earl… so many…"

"I know. I know, so I'll watch over you."

Kanda said with a reassuring smile and pulled Alma closer to his chest thinking that the conversation was over.

"Yuu…" He heard Alma's voice again. "I must tell you something…"

"Alma…"

"No, please… let me speak…" He was breathing harder by each passing second. "I want to at least tell you… the truth about me and the memories you have..."

Tears started running down his face as he spoke.

"I was the one who asked you to be the vessel for his memories, as you synchronized with his innocence right after his death… I thought that…" He coughed out some blood before continuing. "I thought that his soul passed into you… I am the one to blame for all that happened to you…"

"Alma… don't speak…"

"NO! I must, at least I must do something right before I die…" A pain shoot through his body again. He knew that there was not much time left until dissolved. "You are not an artificial human… You were a real boy whose future I have stolen… Let me at least do something for you. I want you to live…"

"Alma… you are getting crazy. We both know that our bodies were created by scientist in Black Order…"

"Not yours!" Alma cut him off. "Not yours… They sealed away all of your memories and created Kanda who is the end… in the end got hold of Albert's memories… I hope you will be able to forgive me someday…. Kazuhiro…"

With that his body fell into millions of pieces. Kanda stared wide eyed as the body in his arms disappeared. He saw an illusion of Alma and his real version walking in a field of Lotuses. A man soon joined them. The three of them started walking towards the light. The man suddenly stopped and turned to look at him. He smiled and bowed before too disappearing. After that everything went black.

Now he was sitting there not sure who he was anymore. When he woke up he felt like a lost child. He remembered his family, his mother. Remembered how they were attacked by Akuma, remembered how the man he had saw in the illusion and Alma's real self tried to protect them and failed…

He remembered everything. Strange how hearing his name had awakened all of those memories in him. Now he knew who he was, what was his reason of existing, why he was able to synchronize with Albert's innocence and after with Mugen… but he was afraid… Truly afraid… He still felt like a seven years old child… He didn't want to get involved in the war he had to take part in… He just wanted to run, to hide, to forget everything once again. He wanted to die…

"You sure are pathetic." His eyes widened as a deep male voice was heard inside his mind.

"Who are you?" He asked unsure.

"If you think that while getting rid of Albert and his annoying memories helped you to get rid of me to, than I must disappoint you, as I am still here!" The voice said rather irritated. "I am tired of hearing your pathetic monologue."

Young boy's eyes widened even more as a sudden realization struck him.

"Kanda-san?"

"Thanks God you are not as dumb as you seem." The voice exclaimed. "Even if your are the owner of this body, I still own 12 years of memories… You need me to survive…"

"But why can't we merge?" He couldn't help but ask.

"Because you are not ready yet… We will become one in the end but now you need to get hold of yourself and not think about suicide anymore. Suicide is something only weak people commit. And I hate weaklings."

A small smile found its way on his lips.

"So Mr. Kanda… I hope we can get along pretty well until we can become one."

He could feel Kanda smirk inside his head.

"Don't even think that I am satisfied with the way things are right now, but I will try to cooperate, after all I am the one who has all the experience."

"Thank you for your support…"

"Che… Whatever…"

Once again he looked into the distance as the wind played with his still light purple hair but now a small smile was gracing his lips.

"It looks like I can't run away and don't have any other choice but follow the path that was chosen for me…" His eyes watched as the sun began to rise behind the mountains. "But I think that I need to find my father first. I am sure that he can help me.

He smiled at the small grunt of approval he heard in the back of his mind. As he watched the sun rise, his hand unconsciously found its place on right on his heart.

"Kazuhiro…" He whispered a name and let the wind carry it away. "It's been an eternity since I last been called that…"

WOW! I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I HAVE POSTED THIS O_O""" It's 4:30 am and I have just finished writing it, so don't blame me if there are too many mistakes here. Ok?

Anyway. Hope you liked it. *smiles* Reviews are welcomed, and to those who are reading my other story as well, I promise to update pretty soon! I know it's already been 58 days since I updated last.. but I was soooooo busy! Hope you will forgive me...

Truly yours. Ame.