Disclaimer: Buffy and its universe belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, not me. (If they belonged to me, Season Seven would not have been anywhere near what it was. No, I'm not bitter. Much.)
Author's Note: I know that some people viewed Giles's actions in Season Seven as out of character. As I was wondering what would make Giles less friendly and what could possibly explain the transformation, I came up with this idea of a visit from the First. This is inspired in part by The Sound Of Your Voice, by Carolyn Claire. It's at All About Spike and for some reason, I can't get the link to even appear when I put this in the preview. But, if you email me, I'll be more than happy to give you the link to the story. It's a really great, but dark, fic that I recommend to anyone over 17. This story is also inspired by other people's comments that the First could have been a better, scarier, and more effective villain if it had done more with the taking shapes and taunting people instead of sitting around doing nothing.
Clarification: Philip, Dierdre, and Thomas were all part of the group that raised Eyghon back in Giles's Ripper days (from the episode The Dark Age, Season Two).
Reviews: I love getting reviews, so please let me know what you think of the story.
"Do you think about me often?"
Oh, dear God. Not again.
"You're not Jenny." He doesn't even turn around, doesn't stop washing the dishes. Says it flatly, no emotion.
The first few times it had happened had been mere flashes. A brief glimpse of Jenny in the streets of Bath, in the mirror, in the pub. Just a quick sighting of her and then she was gone.
At first, he'd thought that he had been suffering from stress, after dealing with the return to Sunnydale and Willow's subsequent actions, and that this stress was manifesting itself with the visions of Jenny.
Later, when they had started to last longer, when Jenny would make eye contact with him and beckon him over to her, he'd thought he was going crazy.
After he'd come home one evening and seen Jenny laid out on his bed, the same way Angelus had, he'd made the connection. Angel, after he'd returned from hell, had been tortured by the visions of the people he'd killed.
The First Evil.
"You don't seem to grieve for me."
This makes him stop washing the coffee cup, hand suspended in mid-air. Slowly, deliberately, he puts the cup down on the counter and turns to face it.
Right now, it looks like Jenny, leaning against the wall.
"As I keep telling you, you're not Jenny. And you don't know me."
"No? I've had plenty of opportunities to study you."
She - no, it - paused.
"Not to mention the fact that I'm inside you."
Giles stood up straight.
"I am nothing like you."
"No? You've done some truly horrendous things in your time, Rupert."
As she said this, Jenny-no, not Jenny-walked towards him, smiling.
And then Jenny turned into Ben, as he'd looked right before he died, blood streaming out of his nose.
"You killed me."
"Once again, you're not Ben."
"Doesn't matter. You still killed me."
"It was a necessity."
And, like that, Ben turned back in to Jenny.
"No, Rupert. How did you know that Glory would reappear again? All you did was kill an innocent."
Jenny morphed into Phillip.
"Much like you killed me, Ripper. Your ego, your desire to rebel, your stupidity cost me my life. Along with others."
And then Phillip turned into Tara. Sweet, innocent Tara, who had never hurt anyone. Who he'd taken for granted until she was gone. This evil shouldn't be able to look like Tara.
"Maybe it you'd stayed, none of this would have happened. Maybe I wouldn't have died if you'd been around. If you had paid more attention to Willow in the beginning, taught her to respect magic, things would have been different."
Tara changed into Jenny.
"You didn't even avenge my death."
Jenny morphed into Angel.
"Do you know what a satisfying sound it made when I snapped her neck? Made a nice crunch."
And Angel changed back into Jenny.
"You didn't save me."
And then Jenny turned into Buffy.
It hadn't done that before. Dear God, if he hadn't known that it was the First, he would have though that it was the real Buffy standing in front of him.
"You failed me. You let me die."
That hurt.
"You're not Buffy."
"You should have been more cautious, taken more time to train me. But I was so gifted and the evil was so great."
She smiled then, lips curling up at the edges, letting Giles know exactly how funny that last idea was.
"And then, when I needed you the most, you left me."
Buffy turned into Spike.
"But at least she had me, right, Rupes? I helped her, comforted her, and then I fucked her every possible way. Brought the house down. Literally. So, thanks. If you hadn't left, Buffy might not have come to me."
Spike turned into Joyce.
"I blame you."
And then Joyce turned into Spike, who turned into Jenny, all the while yelling at him. It started changing shapes so fast, he could barely recognize the person before it would change into someone else. Buffy. Angel. Philip. Deirdre. Thomas. Ben. His father. Jenny. Joyce. Tara. His mother. Buffy.
"STOP IT!"
And as soon as he yelled at it, as soon as he dropped his calm and showed his weakness, as soon as he showed that it affected him, the First was gone.
The quiet was almost deafening.
And it didn't help. Because he could still see the disappointed look in Joyce's eyes. The self-satisfied grin on Spike's face. Angel's smirk. The pain in Buffy's eyes. Jenny's face as she accused him.
He's not as strong as he thought he was.
He'll go back to Sunnydale, help Buffy and the others.
But he can't get over the image of Buffy in the arms of a remorseless killer.
He's failed as a Watcher.
He's failed as a father.
Whatever it is the First wants, it appears it will do anything to get it.
And he doesn't know how to stop it.
Fin.