died several times
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Characters/Pairing: Zuko/Toph
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none.
Summary: His heart beats to the sound of her breathing.
-x-
He remembers all the stories she's told him about dying. Laughing, she jokingly explained crazy situations she could have ended up in if not for her comrades (and, strangely, she included him). Lips curved into a grin as she told him of all the tales of what's happened before in their battles. Interested each time, he'd listen.
One day, she approaches him with a hesitant smile. She suggests they go by Iroh's tea shop and he agrees. Over a hot cup of green tea, they discuss subjects with normalcy until she quiets suddenly. Leaning over, he waits for her to speak.
"Zuko," her voice is strangled by something dark and solemn, "I think I've died several times."
All he can do is stare at her with raised eyebrows before chuckling. "That's a bit ridiculous, don't you think, Toph?"
Shaking her head slowly, she bows it further so he can no longer see her face. "I joke about it a lot, but I don't really mean it."
"Dying? You just tell me stories, Toph, it's not something to be worried about."
"No," she breathes out, "You don't understand."
"Then tell me."
Before continuing, she allows him to see her face. Emotions flicker across her features and he can't keep track of which are which. There's not enough time to sort them out as she begins explaining.
"Every time we went out to battle, people would die."
He knew that. He still knows that. War is for hurt and with the war they endured, people lost lives on each side. It still disturbs him that leaders could possibly go forth and let it happen, especially his ancestors, including his father. Such bothersome apathy.
"And every time, I knew exactly when they died."
His gaze snaps to her face. "What?"
"I can sense things, you know. I know when someone moves, I know when their heart beats and when it stops."
A hand covers her face as she sighs out shakily. He continues staring, unknown fear for her. She knows. She's known when each time someone has been struck down, when they have died. How could she possibly joke about this before?
He stops to think about this. She kids about it because that's how she had dealt with it, but apparently that's not enough anymore. She needs to tell someone and he feels both weary and honored she'd chosen him.
"I think...a part of me goes with them," she remarks quietly, "Like I'm them for those few seconds before they're finally gone."
Oh, spirits, he can't take anymore of this. Just stop. He doesn't want to listen when it's this hard. What torture she's gone through. He can only imagine. He closes his eyes, attempting to envision something other than what she could have possibly felt all those times before.
Gently, a hand covers his and he quickly glances up to see her heartrending smile.
"Zuko, did you know it only takes a few seconds to die?"
-x-
She lies in his arms tonight, where her head is flush against his chest. His heart beats to the sound of her breathing. It's good enough for him as he watches her sleep.
Yeah, it probably takes a few seconds die, but he'll keep her where she won't have to know that anymore.
-x-
Because there needs to be more toko out there.