Summary: Nemu sneaks out of work to meet Uryuu for a Valentine's day date. Will Mayuri find out?

Note: This story is based on Nemu and Uryuu being in a newly established relationship, hence all the sickening sweetness. Also it does not tie into any of my other stories.


Nemu finished typing out the last line of code. On the command to execute, the program she'd spent days working on went into effect. It was time. With one last look around the laboratory to ensure she hadn't forgotten any experiment that needed direct supervision, she went to her room. This was so exciting! She had never tried to skip out on work before. It took a lot of preplanning to create this window of opportunity. She was going to meet with Uryuu in the real world for a Valentine's Day date.

Entering her room, she opened up her closet and pulled out the storage case for her real world operations gigai. Normally, it looked like she usually did, but for today, she had dressed and styled it in a fashion suitable for the Kanto plain in February. The false body had on sensible high topped leather boots, dark hose, a long wool skirt and a light wool jacket over a cream colored turtleneck. Instead of her usual braid, the hair was loose, curled and styled. Entering the still form took only a second or two. Getting up, she checked the mirror, touched up her makeup and put a few stray hairs in place. Satisfied that she looked presentable, she took a small case out of her dresser drawer. Inside was a gold necklace with a round pendant on it bearing the twelfth divisions flower, the thistle, on one side and the symbol for twelve on the other. Not only did it compliment her earrings, it also completely disguised her reiatsu. She could now walk around in the real world without concentrating on suppressing her unique energy signature. A similar looking ring served to eliminate certain signals Mayuri-sama used to track her. Finally, she picked up the bag holding the chocolate she had baked and decorated that morning as well as a covered cage where something squeaked and chirped. Exiting her room, she looked carefully to the left and right before stepping out. She hurried down to the room they used for the real world portal. If she had written the program correctly, she need only wait for a minute or so. Sure enough, as she waited a gate seemed to spontaneously open. There was nothing spontaneous about it of course. Part of the program's job was to open a gate at random intervals and locations right after she used it to get to Karakura. She stepped through the doorway eager to start her date. If everything went as planned, Mayuri-sama would never find out.


Captain Mayuri finished reviewing yet another report, sending it back to the particle research team with a scathing critique and several suggestions to correct their sloppy findings. He sometimes regretted all the time he spent on paperwork and management, but teamwork and delegation was necessary with the amount of ground he had to cover. No one man, no matter how talented, could possibly do it all. With that chore finished, he clicked an icon on his desktop. A window opened up showing a live feed of Nemu hard at work. He watched her for a while as she measured chemicals, set up beakers and test tubes and ran various substances through tests. Satisfied she wasn't slacking off, he closed the window and pulled up the next report.


When she caught sight of him, he was staring at the waterfall. Over time, Uryuu's special place had become their rendezvous location whenever they could find the time to be together. She tiptoed up behind him as carefully as she could. Standing just inches away, she waited. Just as she expected, after a few minutes, Uryuu turned around to check the path for her arrival. When he saw she was practically under his nose, he nearly jumped into the stream!

"Surprise." She said.

Uryuu clutched at his chest. "Don't do that!" He said. "You nearly scared me into a heart attack!"

She pretended to be upset. "My appearance is so frightening to you?"

"No." He hastened to assure her. "No, you look great. I like what you did with your hair."

She smiled. "You don't have to say things like that."

"Why not, it's true." Uryuu responded. "You are absolutely beautiful."

She smiled even wider and handed him the chocolate. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Uryuu took the box with a grin and sat down on a boulder to open the box. Nemu sat next to him, delighting in his expression when he saw her chocolate.

"You made this yourself?" He asked. Nemu simply nodded. "This looks like a professional made it."

Indeed, the small cake was decorated with frosting shaped into a very realistic sculpture of a thistle.

"I can't eat this. It's too nice. I don't want to mess it up." He said.

"Then allow me." Nemu replied. She broke a corner off the cake. "Say ahh."

With amusement in his eyes, he opened his mouth and let Nemu feed him the chocolate. It was sweet and moist without being too rich and practically melted in his mouth.

"Turn about is fair play." He said as he finished eating.

He then broke off another piece of the confection and held it up to Nemu's mouth. She gladly let him feed her the piece. They kept going back and forth feeding each other morsels, delighting in the giving more than in the receiving, enjoying the feeling of togetherness as they shared the moment. It seemed like a long time, but soon the cake was gone. Uryuu tucked the now empty box into his jacket pocket.

"That was great." He said. "If you still have an appetite, I wanted to take you to this one café down the street."

"I wouldn't mind." She replied.

He got up from the boulder and held out his hand. "Then follow me."

"Just a moment." She said reaching into her purse. "I wasn't you to put this on."

She held up a pendant identical to her own.

"It doesn't really match my outfit." He said.

"That's not important." Nemu said. She stood up to reach around his neck and fastened the chain. "With this on, your reiatsu looks identical to everyone else's. No hollows are going to stalk us. No shinigami will investigate. We're just two ordinary people today."

"You're never ordinary." He said putting his hands around her waist and pulling her close. "You're special."

She lightly slapped his chest. "Stop. Seriously Uryuu, today I just want a normal date with no fights or hollows or anything strange. I want us to be a perfectly normal couple today."

He smiled. "All right. I'll be sure to treat you as completely ordinary if that's what it takes to make you feel special."

She giggled at his bad joke. Releasing her from his embrace, he took her by the hand.

"Right this way, perfectly normal girlfriend." He said with a slight bow.

"Do lead on, perfectly normal boyfriend." She said with a shallow curtsey.

"Oh wait." He said. "This is for you."

He pulled from his jacket a single red rose. She gasped in delight and breathed deeply as she inhaled its scent. Walking with their fingers entwined, they made their way up the path in the pale winter sunshine.


Finishing with yet another report, Mayuri leaned back. He needed to rest his eyes after looking over all the fine print and technical terms. Out of habit, he pulled up Nemu on his surveillance system again. Once again he watched as she measured out chemicals and set up equipment for experiments. He was struck by a strange sense of déjà-vu as he watched her work. After a while, she seemed to be starting all over again. Of course! He wasn't watching Nemu, it was video on a loop! He checked the mainframe code to make sure and found what appeared to be a virus messing up several systems. Besides constantly displaying Nemu on a loop, the electronic locks were snapping on and off throughout the lab, power was fluctuating in the storage and confinement sectors and …now this was interesting….the gate they used for real world research was opening and closing at intervals ranging from fifteen to twenty minutes. He cycled through all the cameras in the compound and didn't see Nemu anywhere. He called the reception desk.

"Twelfth division research and development, how may I direct your call?" A voice said.

Mayuri didn't bother with courtesy. "Has Lieutenant Kurotsuchi checked out at anytime today?"

Whoever was working the desk recognized his voice immediately. "No sir! I have not seen the lieutenant at any time today."

Mayuri hung up. So she wasn't in the compound and she didn't check out. Where could she be? On a hunch, he pulled up the list of all the locations the gate had opened on so far that day. There were many locations listed throughout the real world as well as Soul Society. How unusual that the first destination just so happened to be Karakura. It also showed someone or something had gone through. He called down to the monitoring office.

"Shinigami dispatch and power control" A different voice responded.

"Are there any shinigami in Karakura lieutenant class or higher walking around without a limiter?" He asked without preamble.

This person also recognized him immediately. "No sir, except for the substitute shinigami, there is no one on our scope higher than third seat."

Again, he hung up. It was the twelfth division's responsibility to ensure all lieutenants or higher had a limiter applied before they left for the real world. No one was excepted, not even him. They also had to track anyone showing up higher than third seat and report to the Captain-Commander if anyone violated this rule. Again, no exceptions. If Nemu had done what he suspected she did, the only way she could have circumvented this rule would be to go to the real world in a gigai supplemented with some kind of suppression device. That's how he'd do it anyway.

He stood and stretched as he thought about this little conundrum. If she was running around in the real world in disguise, well, two could play at that game. He stalked out to his quarters, entered his room and opened his walk-in storage closet. In a locker way in the back, he uncased his old operations gigai. He looked it over critically. The last time he'd used it was to obtain samples in 1950's New York. It was still dressed in the fashion a local tailor at the time had called "beatnik", essential for his cover as a "hep cat". He was sure fashions hadn't changed that much over the years. After entering the body, he stretched to try and work some kinks out. He really should run it through a maintenance check before going, but he was in a hurry. In appearance, he now looked to be a man in his mid-thirties in a loose fitting plain green sweater, black narrow legged pants, black shoes and a black beret. He was aghast to see his pale face without makeup sporting only a neatly trimmed goatee. Selecting a few tools from another locker, he made his way down to the gate. It took him a few minutes to override the glitch, then he put in the coordinates for the first destination on the printout from the log.

Whatever you're doing daughter-mine, you'd better pray I don't catch you, he thought as he stepped through the gate.


"That was an excellent meal." Nemu said. "I've never had French food before."

"This place really does it right." Uryuu replied. "It's not just the ingredients, it's the portion control and presentation."

"It's such a nice restaurant too." Nemu said. She looked over the dark wood paneled walls and the gold trimmed china resting on a white lace tablecloth. "Just eating here is an experience. Didn't this cost a lot?"

"No talking about expenses." Uryuu said. "It's rare we get to spend any time together. It's worth it to me to make the most of it."

"Just being together is enough for me." Nemu said.

Uryuu blushed slightly as he grinned. "I think I can do better than us sitting around doing nothing. Let's go take in a movie."

"That's sounds wonderfully ordinary." Nemu responded as they rose to leave.


Mayuri scowled as he watched the screen on his cell phone. He had received a strong clear signal from the bacteria he used to track Nemu these days. Why was it leading him down into the subway? Paying no attention to the people around him, he jumped off the platform and walked down the tunnel. She was down here? Why? The signal grew stronger and stronger until it showed he was right on top of where she should be. She was nowhere to be found.

He did hear a chattering squeak above his head. Looking up, he saw a small hollow, like the kind they used for experiments at the lab crouched and ready to spring on him. He noticed a small collar on it that proved it was one of his. That made things a little easier. He pushed a button on his phone and the collar exploded killing the wretched thing. As bits and pieces rained down, one part clattered. He picked it up. It was a petri dish. No doubt filled with tracking bacteria. He was really angry now. A decoy? So how would he find her if the tracking bacteria failed? He pulled up a list on his phone of statistically likely places a person would go in this town.

The mall, eh? he thought.


While there were many movies playing in the multi-plex at the mall, Uryuu had a problem.

"They're almost all sold out." He said.

"What are our choices?" Nemu asked.

"All that's left is "The Wolfman"and "Fireheart Mountain". Uryuu replied.

"Let's see Fireheart Mountain." Nemu said."See, the poster says 'When love is true, how can it be wrong?' That sounds like us."

Uryuu looked at the poster showing two young cowboys superimposed over a mountain.

"It's not what it sounds like." He said. "We'd better go with the wolfman."


Jackpot, Mayuri thought as he walked towards the theater.

There was that annoying Quincy. He was not alone. It would be just like the little slut to be slacking off with that loser. The only problem was he couldn't get a good look at the girl. Her build was like Nemu's but her hair and clothes were different and her boots made her look taller. Trying to feel her reiatsu, he found she wasn't giving off anything besides normal human baseline. Come to think of it, neither was the boy. Strange indeed.

He needed to get closer to get a good look at them. They entered the theater. He hurried to follow.

"Ticket please sir."

"What?" Mayuri looked down at a little man in a red vest.

"Your ticket sir. Please let me see it." He said.

"I don't have a ticket." Mayuri said as he tried to shove past. The man put his hand on his chest.

"Sir, please purchase a ticket and I'll let you inside. " He said.

"Tch." Mayuri exclaimed. "Fine. I'll purchase a ticket."

He went up to the ticket counter and fumed as he stood in line. This was taking too long. As he got to the head of the line, he found his choices were an absurd monster movie and something called Fireheart Mountain. That sounded like something a couple would watch. He paid his ticket price and went inside, glaring at the ticket taker as he passed.


Nemu thought the movies would be more fun than this. She found the one they were watching slow moving and boring. Even when the monster appeared, she was more puzzled than anything. One thing she noticed were the girls around her. Whenever the monster jumped out they would scream and hide their face on their boyfriend's chest.

"Uryuu." she whispered. "Am I missing something here?"

"Like what?" he whispered back.

"It seems there's some kind of ritual to this." She said. The monster jumped out from behind a tree and all the girls screamed. "Like now, am I supposed to be jumping on you? If not, I really don't see the value of this entertainment."

"Well I guess you wouldn't find this too scary compared to hollows." Uryuu said.

"I'm sorry." Nemu said. "I don't really like this movie. I know you are trying to show me a good time."

"We can leave if you want." Uryuu said. "I have an idea. Let's go walk in the park."

"Are you sure?" She asked. "You already paid for us to be here."

"Yeah, it's no big deal." He said. "Monster movies aren't everybody's thing."


As Mayuri watched the two strapping young cowboys passionately embracing, he realized he'd probably picked the wrong movie. This didn't seem like something HE'D go to see with a woman . If he did that sort of thing. Nonetheless, he had to make sure Nemu and that Quincy weren't in here somewhere.

Glancing around, he could only see a few feet away in the gloom. He got out of his seat and went to the front of the theater. Taking out a small flashlight, he began to search systematically to get a good look at any prospective couples he came across. People were shouting and complaining at him to sit down and to put out the light. He ignored them. Row after row, his search was fruitless. He wasn't even a quarter way through the theater before someone actually grabbed his arm!

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

It was that annoying little man in the red vest again. How dare he lay hands on him! Didn't he realize how many germs you could pass on that way?

"I have every right to be here." Mayuri said as he jerked his arm free. "Here's my ticket." He waved the square of cardboard at him.

"That doesn't give you the right to disturb people" The man said. "Please do as I say and leave now."

Mayuri looked down his nose in contempt. "Bah" He turned back to his search without a backwards glance.

The little man snapped his fingers. From seemingly out of nowhere, two much larger men wearing red vests appeared who grabbed him by the elbows. They picked him up and proceeded to carry him out of the theater.

"What do you think you're doing? Unhand me this instant!" Mayuri howled.

Everyone in the theater cheered as was hauled away. They shoved him out the door to the mall outside strongly enough to make him stumble. He had to almost run to keep from falling.

The little man glared at him with his arms crossed. "You are banned from this theater. Please do not return. Good day to you sir!" Turning his back, he went inside.

Mayuri was shaking both with fury and the revulsion of having been touched. A thousand plots of revenge formed in his mind for everyone in the theatre, especially the little man in the red vest. He probably would have returned to Soul Society to carry out his dastardly plans if he hadn't caught sight of Uryuu in the crowd.

All thoughts of torturing theatre employees vanished as he hurried to catch up to his true prey. Again, he could see the young snot was walking hand in hand with a girl. If only she would turn around. He decided to trail them for now. He would wait for them to go somewhere they couldn't easily escape, then he would strike!


Uryuu and Nemu stopped to buy a hot sweet potato from a pushcart vendor as they entered the park. While it was still winter, the park was lovely with its well groomed lawns, strategically placed statues and sparkling fountains. They walked along the paths and trails, talking about everything and nothing. They were enjoying themselves so much, they never noticed the thin man in a beret and sunglasses following them.

Mayuri was not enjoying himself at all. At no time was he able to get a good look at that girl. He sometimes doubted it could be Nemu. She was laughing a lot with that young fool. Since when did Nemu ever laugh? On the other hand, what were the odds that prissy little clod could ever attract a real girl? No it had to be Nemu. She was too naive to see how inferior the Quincy really was. The couple stopped to talk about something. To prevent them from suspecting him, he went to a nearby stand to buy a cup of coffee. It wasn't time to confront them yet. He had to wait until they were someplace he could corner them.


"There certainly are a lot of couples in the park today." Nemu observed.

"With Valentine's day on a Sunday, it's not so unusual." Uryuu said. "The weather is nice, everyone has a day off, it's only natural to spend the day walking around with the one you love."

"I see not everyone is walking." Nemu said as she indicated a couple kissing on a nearby bench.

"Uh..yeah. that sort of thing goes on too." Uryuu said nervously. "Personally, I would probably look for some place a little less public for that."

"Really?" Nemu said. "Is there a map or something for these places?"

"What?" Uryuu said. "You really want to do that?"

She stopped and faced him. "As I said. I want to experience everything like a normal human girl today."

Uryuu gave a nervous grin. "Um…OK. I'll see what I can find."


Mayuri waited a few seconds before following them. He was beginning to get impatient. If they didn't settle down soon, he may just have to take action anyway.

He needn't have worried. As he watched, they ducked into one of the numerous sitting areas surrounded by trees and shrubs the park had. Designed to provide a quiet place to sit away from the traffic of the main path, they were also popular with young couples looking for a little privacy. He had no doubt what they intended to do. It was perfect.

He took one last sip of his coffee, then looked for a trash can to throw it away. He considered his next actions carefully. True, he could just walk up to them, but he wanted something with a little more…impact. He looked over the grounds. Behind the little nook they selected, it sloped downwards a ways. He decided to approach them from behind and strike from a totally unexpected direction. He gave them some time to get settled in before he started off.

The slope wasn't too steep and he was soon in position. Peering though the shrubs, he could just see them dimly on the park bench. It was her all right. He could just about see the girl through the leafless twigs and branches. She had long styled hair, a cream colored turtleneck and a woolen jacket, just like the one he had been following. The little harlot certainly seemed to be enjoying herself as she submitted to that lecherous punk's clumsy pawing. He still couldn't see her face, and their reiatsu still felt baseline human normal. Well, he'd had enough. It was time to put a stop this.

They didn't notice him at all as he crept up behind them. Reaching out, he grabbed the girl's hair in both hands and pulled her off the bench!

She screamed, and the fool she was with jumped up with a cry of outrage! A right hook to his nose put him flat on his back. Mayuri enjoyed the crunch of bone under his fist. He'd definitely broken the boy's nose. He was actually a little disappointed. He expected better from the Quincy.

Still holding the screaming girl by the hair, he wrapped his free hand around her throat, thoroughly pleased by the sensation as his fingers squeezed her windpipe closed.

"Thought you could sneak around behind my back did you? Do you think I'm a fool!" He shouted as he picked her up off of her feet.

A thrill of pleasure rushed through him as he saw her face turning blue.

Followed by confusion.

The blue face he saw before him wasn't Nemu. He had the wrong couple. But how?

He tossed the girl into the bushes and looked at the young man he'd punched. Trying to get up, he held his bloody, shattered nose. Yes, he was skinny and had glasses, but he was not the Quincy. The girl in the meantime had stopped coughing and fighting to breathe and was now screaming at the top of her lungs.

"HELP! POLICE! RAPE! MURDER!"

"Shut up you stupid cow!" Mayuri barked. "I'm trying to think!"

In the background he could hear whistles and shouts followed by the sound of running feet. A policeman entered the small enclosure.

"That's him!" the girl screamed as she pointed at Mayuri. "That's him! Help!"

"Freeze!" the policeman shouted. "Put your hands up!"

"Tch. I don't have time for this." Mayuri sneered. He turned to walk out through the shrubs. The 50,000 volts of electricity from the cop's taser stopped him dead in his tracks.


It had taken a few tries for them to find a properly secluded bench. The first three they looked at were already occupied. They were a couple dozen meters away when then the screaming broke out.

Nemu was not happy at the interruption. She was about to let Uryuu get to what the manuals she borrowed from Matsumoto referred to as "second base".

"We'd better go check that out." Uryuu said.

It was so typical that he'd want to help. She selfishly wanted to ignore it, but she knew that was wrong. As they approached the scene, the police already had things well in hand. They were talking to a crying young woman and a man holding a bloody handkerchief to his face. An ambulance crew pulled up and had him sit down on the ground while they examined him.

"What happened here?" Uryuu said out loud.

By the looks of things, they poor couple had been assaulted. Sure enough, the police dragged a handcuffed man out of the shrub enclosed rest area kicking and screaming.

"I will not tolerate this! You fools have no idea who you're dealing with! I'll have my revenge on you all!" he screamed with spit flying from his mouth.

"Tell it to the judge buddy." One of the cops said.

Nemu's blood ran cold and she buried her face in Uryuu's chest. That was Mayuri-sama!

"It's alright." Uryuu said holding her close and stroking her hair. He had totally misinterpreted her actions."He's not going to be hurting anyone again for a long time."

She waited until Mayuri's screams had faded away. She looked up at Uryuu. "I'm sorry." She said. "I have to go."

"What? Why?" Uryuu asked.

"There's something in the lab I have to take care of." She said.

It was technically true. If she wasn't in the lab by the time Mayuri-sama got back she'd be in a lot of trouble. She didn't know if he'd seen her or not. The only way to pull this off was to execute her emergency backup plan.

"Seriously?" Uryuu said. "You have to go now?"

"I've had a great time being with you today." She said. "For a while it felt like we were regular ordinary people doing regular ordinary things. That really means a lot to me. I don't want to go and would stay longer if I could."

"But when will I see you again?" he asked.

"What did we stay when we started this?" She replied back.

Uryuu sighed. "We'll take whatever comes with no regrets." He quoted.

"That's right." She said. She stood up on her toes slightly to give him one last, long kiss. "I'll contact you as soon as I can."

"I'll be waiting." He said, waving as she left.

It was sad whenever they were apart, but that only made the reunions even more joyous. Finding a place away from public view, Nemu activated the lab gate and rushed back to Soul Society.


Mayuri smashed his head against the window in the squad car.

"Hey, knock it off!" the policeman shouted.

He ignored him. Getting out of a gigai without a gikon pill was difficult. He had rigged this gigai with a special release switch. All he had to do was push a molar a certain way with his tongue and he would be released. Unfortunately, it seemed the escape switch was stuck! He knew he should have run a maintenance check before leaving. He struck his head again and again against the car's interior, ignoring the pain and bleeding as he tried to trigger the switch.

Finally, he hit the door handle just right. Knocking several teeth loose, he managed to hit the correct molar. It was a relief to get out of that creaking puppet. Since their prisoner had apparently knocked himself unconscious, the police pulled over. Mayuri got out when they opened the door. It was embarrassing to think even now he was creating a huge alarm signal at the power monitoring office. A report would automatically be sent to the Captain-Commander. He was in no mood to have to explain this to that doddering old fool. He'd go home, have the gigai and his instruments self-destruct, then REALLY start looking for that damned child. She was going to regret running out on him.

Activating the lab gate, he could just picture the exquisite torments he was going to visit upon her as he stepped out of the gate and almost ran right into…Nemu?

"Greetings Mayuri-sama." She said bowing low.

"And just where the hell have you been?" Mayuri thundered. "I've been looking all over for you."

"I have been repairing a glitch in the mainframe software." She said. "It has been causing malfunctions all over the division compound."

"When I looked for you earlier, you were nowhere to be found and I couldn't detect you on my scanner." He snarled. "How do you explain that?"

"I was in the vault." She calmly replied. "Several of the electronic locks opened due to the software glitch. Some of the hollows escaped and destroyed our bacteria samples. Regrettably, one escaped to the real world before I could capture them all."

She handed him a clipboard with a detailed report as well as pictures from the security cam showing her chasing down several small hollows. The vault would block the signal on her tracking bacteria. The computer glitch did explain why he didn't see her on the monitors. It was all plausible. He may have made a fool of himself for nothing. A gigai and several pieces of field gear lost for nothing!

No. It wasn't possible he made a mistake. He had to think. Surely if he looked hard enough, he could find a hole in her story.

"Look here, Nemu…" He began.

"Mayuri-sama!" Akon interrupted. "I have an urgent message for you."

"Not now." Mayuri said in a threatening tone. "I'm busy."

"It's from the Captain-Commander sir." Akon said. "He said you must report to him immediately regarding an unauthorized Captain's presence in the real world."

Mayuri ground his teeth. "Fine. I'll be there right away."

He turned to leave, then paused. He looked over his shoulder at Nemu. "Well, get back to work you lazy tart!"

He stalked off muttering under his breath.


Nemu allowed herself to breathe again. Had she done it? Had she really managed to fool Mayuri-sama? She thought she did. He wouldn't be thinking about her after being punished by Captain-Commander Yamamoto. What a relief! She took the clipboard back to her work station and looked at her schedule for the rest of the day. She read with only half an eye. She was still reliving her day with Uryuu, the places they'd gone, the things they'd done, the feel of his body pressed up against hers. It was a wonderful holiday indeed this Valentine's day.

The End