Gundam Wing: When Zechs goes postal with Epyon
*Heero is in the living room, watching TV, Duo comes in*
Heero: Hn, what do you want?
Duo: Wassup, Heero?
Heero: Not much, Zechs is just going postal with Epyon.
*Trowa enters the room*
Trowa: WAZZZAAAAAP!!!
Duo: WAZZAAAP!
Heero: Wazzaaaaaap
Trowa: Have you seen Quatre lately?
Duo: Nah, I'll just call him, have to tell him about Zechs going postal
with Epyon.
*Duo picks up the phone and dials Quatre's number*
Quatre: Hello?
Duo: WAZZZAAAAP!!!
Quatre: WAZZZZAAAAAAP!!!
*Heero runs towards Duo and shouts into the phone, as does Trowa*
Heero: WAZZAAP!
Trowa: Wassaaaaaap.
Duo: Yo, just wanted to tell you that Zechs has gone postal.
*Heeros mobile phone rings*
Heero: Hn?
Wufei: Zechs has gone postal, just wanted to tell you if you don't
already know, and by the way: WAZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAPP!!!!!
Duo: Wassaaap.
*Duo and Trowa gather around Heero and shout into his mobile phone*
Duo: WAZZZAAAAAAP!!!
Trowa: WAZZZZAAAAAAAAAP!!!!
Quatre: WASSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPP!!!!!!
*for a minute there is silence, then Wufei starts talking*
Wufei: So, you...Er...don't want to do anything about Zechs?
Heero: Hn? Oh yeah, right, to the Gundams!
*So the G-Boys hurry to their Gundams to confront Zechs in New York,
who is busy destroying buildings and stepping on as many people as possible*
Heero: Zechs!
Zechs: MUAHAHAHA!!!...oh, it's you.
Duo: Tell us why you're doing this!
Zechs: Why should I?
Wufei: Because then we shall know if it's justified to take peoples'
lives for the purpose of your doing!
Duo: In other words, we're curious
Zechs: Well, bite me! I'm not telling.
Quatre: Please?
Zechs: NO!
Wufei: Don't be a coward!
Zechs: NO,NO,NO!!!
Duo: Oh, c'mon, you can tell us, I promise we won't laugh.
Zechs: *sniff* Well, okay...It's just...because...er...I...NOIN LEFT
ME!
*The G-Boys remain silent for a few moments*
Heero: That's all?
Zechs: *sniff* Yes.
Heero: You're pathetic, come on pilots, let's kick his butt!
Duo, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei: ALL RIGHT!
*They charge at Zechs, Heero, Duo, Quatre and Wufei fight him all together
in close combat, Trowa fires with his Gattling Gun, misses terribly and
is out of bullets after 10 seconds, he hasn't even loaded any missiles
into Heavyarms*
Trowa:...............forgot to reload after last battle.
Wufei: Damnit, Trowa, you are so weak!
*Zechs evades the blows of the other Gundams easily*
Zechs: HA! I'm just too agile with the new and improved Epyon! You
will all die!
Duo: Zechs! Look behind you, it's Noin!
*Zechs turns his back to the Gundams*
Zechs: LUCREZIA! I KNEW YOU WOULD COME BACK TO ME!...... what the?
There's nothing there but ruins of buildings!
*In that precise moment Epyon shudders as Deathsythe Hell grips Epyon*
Duo: You dope! Gotcha'!
Zechs: You! You said you run, hide, but you never lie!
Duo:...Shit, I broke my promise, but because you can't change what
has already happened this doesn't mean I'll let you go! Guys, make sure
there's some space between you and Zechs, I'm gonna self-destruct!
Trowa: ...Again?
Wufei: I wonder what will go wrong this time.
Quatre: DUO! NO!
Heero: Shut up!
Quatre: ...okay.
*Duo pushs the self-destruct-button, but nothing happens to Duo, it's
Wufei's Gundam that explodes*
Duo: Whoops! Must've mixed up the self-destruction devices before our
mission.
*Wufei, on fire, runs out of the wrecked Altron Gundam *
Wufei: MAXWELL!
*Zechs throws off Duo, the fighting stops*
Zechs: You should know by now that you can never defeat me. Say your
prayers!
Quatre: ALLAAAAH!
Heero: Shut up!
Quatre: ...okay.
*Zechs approaches the Gundams slowly, stepping on a youth center in
the process*
Zechs: Stupid kids! They deserve it!
*Suddenly a 1982 GMC Custom Van arrives, an Afro-American with a mohawk
as a haircut and lots of gold chains around his neck steps out of the vehicle*
Mr.T: I pity the foo' who crushes youth centers and insults children!
I'll turn you into dead meat! But first I'll drink some of this milk and
eat the original Mr.T Cereal so I can kick your ass good!
*gluck, gluck, gluck, munch, munch, munch*
Duo: It's Mr.T!
Zechs: That isn't possible, with the death of Mueller I exterminated
the last black person on the planet!
*Mr.T walks towards Epyon, lifts the Mobile Suit single-handedly and
throws it so far away that Zechs is left hovering in space after coliding
with Pluto, wrecking Epyon*
Zechs: Damn, that Mr.T can throw helluva far!
*back on Earth, the G-Boys thank Mr.T for saving humanity*
Quatre: Thank you, Mr.T, you're my hero!
Mr.T: No prob, kid, and don't forget to always drink your milk and
eat your greens, so you'll become big and strong, just like me!
*And so everybody is happy...everybody? Well, everybody but Zechs*
Zechs: Damn,what time is it? *looks at his watch* What? It's 6 am,
I've been hovering for 10 hours now...wait, what's that, it's Noin in her
white Taurus! LUCREZIA, YOU HAVE COME TO SAVE ME, THAT MEANS YOU STILL
LOVE ME!...oh...that was just a meteorite, oh, poop, I wanna go home!
*The next day, Heero is watching TV again, Duo enters the house, he
seems really excited*
Duo: Heero! Guess what, I've got a new girlfriend!
Heero: ..........er...so...you're...not...gay?
Duo: Of course not!
*Heero mutters something for a few seconds*
Heero: So, who is it?
Duo: I brought her with me.
*Noin enters the room*
Noin: Hello Heero, Now that I'm through with that git named Zechs Duo
and I are together isn't that wonderful?
THE END