Nursery Rhymes
Hi! I'm writing this one-shot because it's in my opinion, cute. It came to me while I was working in the church nursery with my sister. I thought of this plot bunny prompt and here we are now! Read on!
Noah Puckerman was 17. Noah Puckerman was Jewish. Noah Puckerman was a Football Stud. Noah Puckerman was not a babysitter. Sure, he'd watched Kendra's ADHD triplets once or twice before, and he'd played Sorry with his sister, Sarah when his mom was at work, but Noah Puckerman was no Nanny. Of course, since Quinn Fabray was his girlfriend, and the mother of his flower, Quinn Fabray can do with Noah Puckerman anything she likes. And on a warm Sunday morning in mid May, she made him accompany her to work…at the Holy Innocence Church of God's childcare center. Noah Puckerman was not happy, however Quinn Fabray was most definitely amused.
"Puck, wake up!" Quinn grunted as she shoved her soft fists into her boyfriend's muscular back. "Hmm?" Puck moaned. "Your mom told me you're off work for Spring Break. Aren't you?" Quinn walked to her suitcase by their bedroom door and grabbed her comb. "What? Hmmm…yeah, I think." Puck groaned. "Then up!" Quinn moved her fingers in an upright direction, musing for her drowsy partner to wake. "It's Sunday, Quinn. Isn't it like…the Day of Rest for your people?" He rolled over and played with the fray on her towel. "It is once 'My People' are done worshiping, yes." Quinn agreed, combing through her long tangles. "So, I rest…and you worship. Deal?" He shared a sly smile. Quinn giggled, "Not a chance, Babe. I have work." She stepped into her new maternity sundress, a gift from Kurt. "Then go. I'll be here when you return, smelling of diapers and infantile vomit." Puck sat up and blinked continuously at the newly appearing light. "You're coming with me. Now can you please get dressed?" She whined. At the moment Puck comprehended it, he shot her a look. "Wait! No no no no no!" He puzzled. "I don't do Christian babysitting!" He fought. "…You do Christian girls, that's for sure." Quinn said under her breath while unhooking a sweater from its hanger. "Hmm?" He asked. "Oh..nothing," She smiled, "I was just thinking about how Mrs. Stratford is at the coast, and Liz is in Palm Springs. I'm the only one in the infant room, and I can't work alone." She begged. "Hell no!" Puck argued. "No way in Hell!" He cried. "Well, you mother thinks it's a great idea for you to get more prepared for when Gracey arrives, and we'd each get paid like $300 dollars which we both know is something we desperately could use." Quinn whined once again. "That's like…$200 dollars more than I make a day!"Puck said with a hint of jealousy that his girl was really the one raking in the extra dough. "If it makes you shut up, I guess I could try it," Noah came around, "But baby, I'm Jewish." He spoke. "No one has to know." Quinn giggled and placed a pink headband on her head.
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Puck and Quinn opened the wooden doors to the Children's Wing, and Puck followed her to the sign-up area. "Hey 'Mags, how's Elle? Quinn smiled at the young woman at the desk. "Oh Quinnie, she's amazing! Thanks for asking, Doll!" Maggie rolled over to the window. "Is this him?" She whispered. Quinn looked at Puck who was exploring. "Yes, ma'am, he is." Quinn said. "Oh. Body builder?" Maggie pointed to Puck's frame. "Um, no ma'am, linebacker." Quinn softly laughed. "God help him. Good luck with the Fairmont Twins today, SweetPea." Maggie winked. "You too Maggie." Quinn smiled and walked back to a now inquisitive Puck. "Like the artwork, Babe?" Quinn whispered. "I guess it's pretty cool," He answered, "Whereto now?" He shoved his hands in his pockets and bopped his head around to all the nursery doors. "Which one do ya think?" Quinn pointed to a door that read Infants, and had her name on the name plaque. "Right.." Puck confirmed.
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Quinn flipped the light switch to reveal a bright room with jungle murals and toys scattered around. "It looks like two fairies threw up." Puck stated. "Guess I can cross interior decorating off the list of things to major in when I actually get to college." Quinn sneered at a smirking Puck. "Well, the parents are lining up in registration/" Quinn breathed. "Dammit. Can we leave? I'll sneak you out, there's still time!" Puck swept her up and tried to make his way to the door. Quinn wasn't the least bit amused. "Put me down, quit it!" She spat.
"Quinn?" a lady in her mid 20's asked. Puck with out a breath placed her back to the ground and straightened up. "Hey Delia. Sorry, My boyfriend's got Nursery-Phobia." Quinn joked. "Do not." Puck murmured in an echo. The woman Puck presumed to be Mrs. Fairmont, shifted two sleeping babies over the door. "Ok then. Here's Joshua and Erynn. Joshie's been fed and he just pooped in the car, and Erynn has eaten, but I'd keep my smell senses on high. She's still awaiting the gift of poop." She spazzily blurted. Puck shook is head. He couldn't believe he'd agreed to join in. He had no choice but to grab Erynn from her mother's trembling arms. Quinn was continuing to chat with Delia, but from the reflection of the wall mirror, Quinn could've sworn she was watching Puck slightly sway with Erynn, still asleep in his arms.
Hollis and Bella arrived soon after with Gabbie, Steven, and Andie to follow. Noah Puckerman was not a babysitter, nor was he a babysitter of seven babies. Seven babies that had the ability to cry and piss their shorts, and that bit your fingers when you feed them their cookies to slow.
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"This is unreal!" Puck cried in terror. "It's a poopy diaper, Puck. Not Rosemary's baby." Quinn corrected him. "Usually when babies receive gifts, they're not this bad!" He whined. Erynn had been bonding with puck, until she blew. And she blew. It was Puck's turn to change a diaper, and he was trying his best. Quinn laid Hollis on the blanket with the others who were napping, and glided over to help. "What the fuck? This thing won't stick!" Puck was aggravated with the adhesive strips on Erynn's diaper. "Watch me, okay?" Quinn guided his fingers around until Erynn's diaper was properly in a state of completion.
Once all babies were sound asleep, Quinn and Puck proceeded to the rocking chairs by the windows. "So what made you decide to work here instead of Lima Lutheran?" Puck sipped his paper cup of black coffee. "Oh, um, you see…my parents kind of found someway to ban me from Youth Ministries there when they found out about Gracey. A girl I met at church camp called me, and I thought 'Why not?'" Quinn smiled. "Do you miss them? Your parents?" Puck sheepily whispered. "Not as much as I miss Lenzi, my dog. I do miss my car." Quinn looked down. "My sister, Anne tried to visit me when I was living with Finn. My mom drove by his house on her way to church, and caught her getting a bouncy seat from her trunk. She demanded her not to speak to me until I was old enough to know of my choices, or something. I think she and my dad can't seem to get over it. It sucks, y'know? The two people who raised you and taught you right from wrong. They controlled my decisions to the point where I don't mind to not see them all the time. I guess that's just what happens when you finally realize that you have psychos for parents, right?" She joked. "Sure." Puck laughed back.
"So what did your mom do when she found out?" Quinn traced her cup of apple juice, and looked back and forth at Puck and the table. "Well, uh…she uh, she prayed. She locked herself in her closet for an hour and prayed. Then she left for work. I assume she thought a lot about it, there, at work. When she got home I did her a favor, and I made her favorite hot tea. I figured she'd have some shit set to beat out of me, since she's not great with crisis's like these." Quinn's throat tightened a bit. She hadn't felt that guilty since Finn stormed out of rehearsal thanks to Babs Jr. "To my surprise she was pretty cool about it. She made sure it was okay to tell Sarah, and we just…talked. And so the next day, I asked you to move home with us." He finished. "Are you crying, Quinn? It's a happy story, remember." He laughed. Quinn softly slapped him on the wrist. "Stop it! I'm not crying…Gracey is." Quinn shook her head and smiled.
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"So how was work, guys?" Elena Rosengold-Puckerman asked.
"Mom, you should've seen me. I'm a diaper ninja!" Puck joked as he placed the spoons around the table. "I was very impressed." Quinn put her hands around his abs, and rested her head on his shoulder. "That sounds like something I'd pay to watch Pucky!" Sarah sat in her chair. "Shut it, Sarah!" Puck warned. "Settle down kids…and parents." Elena smiled. "I'm glad you learned a lot, baby. I'm very proud of you." She patted his hand. "Thank you Bubs." Puck squeezed her hand. Quinn watched in contentment. Elena turned to Quinn. "Thank you for teaching my son." She whispered. "Thanks for letting me." Quinn replied.