I'm baaaack
I know I haven't put anything up in ages but yeah
This is another story I co-wrote with Hay
She seems to have gotten over her Twilight obsession and is now obsessed with Harry Potter
But on with the story-
__________________________________________________________________________________
In Privet Drive it appeared to be a night like any other. However, it was not. Albus Dumbledore was strolling down the street, his blue eyes swimming with tears. He had missed yet another episode of his favourite hit TV series EVER, True Blood. It was all down to that moronic family, the Potters and their dumb little brat of a son, Harry, the one year old boy who Dumbledore was waiting on arrival, thanks to Hagrid the freakishly tall and obese guy whose size was a constant reminder of why he had been expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but that's a story for another day. Dumbledore checked his second-hand watch. Yep, he'd missed the repeat and everything. Suddenly, a big mass of hair on a flying motorcycle came into view. When you think about it, Hagrid slighted resembled a walking, talking bush on big chunky legs. Also, his thick mass of hair really was a safety hazard, as was proved when the bike came flying head-first down onto the ground, tumbling over many times. A baby flew from the bike, whacked against the door of number 4 Privet Drive, slid slowly down to the step, still wrapped in his blankets and let out a small snore.
"I didn't even have to carry him to the doorstep! I missed True Blood for NOTHING!!" He broke into sobs, he turned dejectedly and bumped straight into Professor McGonagall.
She sneered, "You missed True Blood, didn't you?"
Raising his voice he wailed "Yeeees." He then broke down in tears, he threw himself at the other professor "HOLD ME!!"
She sidestepped so he flew past her and hit a lamp post headfirst. She exclaimed "Eww, you freak, why would I ever hold someone like you?"
She turned to walk away and he shouted at her "You still have a tail by the way!"
She stuck the finger up at him.
*** Ten Years Later ***
"Why hello, Harry," said a strange old man, peering at him over his fish-shaped spectacles. "You are a wizard. Today a fat man will come through your door, pick you up and take you away to a school where you will learn MAGIC!" He grinned insanely. "MAGIC!"
Harry woke with a start, banging his head on the ceiling in his cupboard under the stairs. He yelled strangled, incomprehensible words. Uh-oh it was his birthday today! He mustn't wake the Dursleys! Too late. Soon he heard them clattering down the stairs. Uncle Vernon ripped open the door, yanked him out and threw him on the floor, where he and his wife Petunia proceeded to birthday-beat him with sticks and high heels. Their son Dudley trailed down the stairs, his life-long bulimia leaving him abnormally thin, ghostly pale, weak and fragile.
"Stop! I had a dream! I'm a wizard!" shrieked Harry. All 3 of the Dursleys froze in place, Petunia with her arm raised high above her head clutching a stiletto, Vernon fell flat on his face and Dudley went flying down the stairs. "Bullshit! Bullshit! BULLSHIT!" Uncle Vernon bellowed, just as Hagrid burst through the door, picked up a dazed Harry, head-butted him unconscious, said, "Mine." and walked back out again. Hagrid took Harry to the Leaky Cauldron where he woke up. "Where am I?" he said sleepily. Hagrid set Harry down, touched his pink flowery umbrella to the wall, wacked it off the top of Harry's head to knock him out again, and slipped the young boy into his pocket. He poked him awake when they were at his vault at Gringotts, where Harry proceeded to swim among his coins singing 'If I were a rich man .. Nah-nah nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-naaaah ..' to the tune of Gwen Stefani's song. The goblin sighed and began to shut the door. Harry finally took the hint, grabbed as much as he could of the strange funkylicious coins and hopped out.
"Your parents left yeh all that. They got killed by the Vollipop Man. Hagrid no say real name of Vollipop Man."
"Oh, okay," said Harry, following Hagrid around the strange street. They bought some supplies for school and then went into Madam What's-Her-Face's for robes.
As they entered they could hear a boy of about Harry's age singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow". As they came into view they saw that he was extremely hot with blond hair, pale skin and beautiful grey eyes to match his amazing voice. He was smiling, sitting on one of three chairs lined against up the wall facing a counter behind which sat a witch who was looking at him in awe as if he was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. He probably was too, swinging his little legs merrily and singing away to himself. On either side of the counter were two booths with pulled curtains which were obviously changing rooms. The one on the boy's left opened and what was obviously his mother stepped out, donning an expensive-looking set of dress robes. Her son put his hands over his heart and crooned, "Oh mother, beautiful as always!" as she twirled round in her new clothes. "Why thank you, Draco," she said beaming at him. The other curtain was pulled and out stepped the boy's father, who resembled him a lot. "Dashing, father," said Draco, grinning up at his dad.
"We'll take these too," said his mother, turning to the shopkeeper person. "Well your total comes to an amount of 69 Galleons Mr Malfoy,'' she replied, turning to the man again. He handed her a couple transparent bags of gold coins in exchange for six bulging shopping ones. The shopkeeper bowed to them, before passing the young boy a lollipop over the counter.
"Thank you, Madam Malkin," said Draco cheerfully, smiling up at her sweetly and turning and walking out of the shop with his parents. That was all Harry saw, before he felt the almighty force of Hagrid's flowery umbrella as came cascading down to smite his head, knocking him into unconsciousness once more.
Harry awoke again to the sound of Hagrid's voice saying "One .." he opened his eyes to see himself facing a pillar which appeared to be swinging away from him and back again. "Two .." he looked up and realised that it was him being swung, one of Hagrid's ginormous hands around Harry's wrist, the other around his ankle. Hagrid was about to let go and throw him at the pillar. "No Hagrid -!"
"Three .." Harry looked up and realised he was in a train station, just as Hagrid released his hold on Harry and threw him headfirst at the pillar. Harry hit it and ricocheted off it. HE was unconscious yet again. "Ooops, Hagrid ferew Harwey at the wong barrier, this is 8-9 not 9-10..." Hagrid smiled sheepishly.
__________________________________________________________________________________
I would like some people to tell us if this is any good
I want some reviews people!!
Make my day and we'll write more
Lots of Love
Zee
xx