Sleeping Beauty
'I will tell you a tale, a very short tale. You look like a princess. I wonder if a kiss will wake you up.'
Torrents of rain poured that day. The weather was not getting better at any moment for the sky and wind were harsher as the time passed by. The window panes were now blurry due to the dropping temperature; the wind was blowing the rain to the windows ceaselessly, whipping the frames. It felt like endless. The storm showed no mercy right this moment. She sighed and looked away from the window, pulling the draperies together to literally lost sight of the unkind heaven outside.
Rubbing her hands on her arms, she walked away from that part of the room and picked up the folder she left on the bedside table. 16:00, she glanced at her wrist watch and noted the blood pressure of her patient. Normal, she thought. Tucking few teal strands of her hair behind her ear, she turned around and left the room. Her next round would be later 19:00.
The door shut quietly behind her. The hallways were well lit but empty, such desolation was creating a ghostly atmosphere which never failed to scare people. Hospitals were always thought haunted, but after some years of working as a nurse, she had not seen a supernatural entity. It might be true that there were lost souls wandering in such kind of institution, but this kind of rumor never scared her. Or at least she had not seen one with her own eyes. After all, what she dreaded the most was hearing the pained cries of patients and their relatives...it was like listening to death, loneliness, and grievance chorusing altogether.
Her hushed steps brought her back to the nurse station at the end of the hall where it stood in between the general ward and intensive care units. They were there, four more nurses dressed in the same pastel blue uniform. Each of them was holding mugs filled with smoking hot drinks warming their cold palms. Seeing them shrug like that, she knew that they were displeased with how things turned up right now. During these times, a normal person would lock himself in his room, snuggle with his pillows, and stay tuned with the weather forecast. However they were nurses and nothing would stop them from serving sick people.
And they were not chilling anywhere. The head nurse was sipping on his mug while scanning his records. Luka, the nurse with carnation hair who was her classmate in the university before, was talking to an older woman. It was a part of their duty to explain what stuffs the doctors asked the relatives of the in-patients needed to purchase. They were in a charity ward after all. The hospital would not shoulder all expenses for them. Well, the insurance companies would have to deal with the payment anyway. The other two nurses were her senior colleagues, Meiko and Kaito, who were just recently engaged, were presently cuddling each other.
"Hey, Hatsune," the head nurse greeted her as she gently put down her folder on their desk. All of them were on their watch, always alert in case of emergency. Nothing was always stable in a hospital. Albeit heaters were installed in wards and ICUs, today's weather was not good for both sick and healthy people. "How's Akita in the ICU? Any progress?"
"Still asleep," Miku smiled, pulling her hair out of its low ponytail before collecting the strands again in a tighter bun. "I guess the anesthesiologist injected too much anesthesia for her operation. You'll check on her again later, Oliver, sir?"
The head nurse seemed taken aback when he was called by his name, for he was not used to people addressing him by his first name. He put down his mug on the table, smiling as he glanced on his watch. "Yes. Dr. Matsuda will check on her later. Why don't you sit with us and take a break? You've been doing your round well."
Her voice tinkled when she laughed, wincing her head gently as she leaned on the counter. "No, thank you. Not when Meiko and Kaito are being lovey-dovey, sir."
The mentioned couple suddenly pulled away from each other, faces growing red when they realized how they displayed their affection. Miku grinned at them, eyes creasing youthfully as she moved over the counter and occupied a seat. Luka was still explaining things to the older woman patiently. Miku was sure that Luka mentioned 5cc twice already. Uh, syringes. Miku leaned her back on her seat comfortably.
"Sorry," Meiko said, hitting her future husband on his arm. It was loud enough to make Miku and Oliver cringe like how Kaito did. "He's trying to tame me, you know. I saw him talking sweetly to a patient." The other nurses laughed – again, they were only five in there, the other one was still talking to a patient's steward. Even if their laughter was loud enough to break the deafening silence, the loud whizzing of the wind from outside was still heard.
"My, my. This might be the reason why I can't imagine myself marrying in the future. Women are the real green-eyed monsters," Oliver chuckled as he lifted his mug to take another sip of his drink, and Miku realized that he has tea in it. Noticing that Miku was peering over his mug, the head nurse shrugged and cocked a brow. "Why, you want tea?" he asked her.
Miku winced, scratching the back of her neck. She was never fond of tea or any warm drink even against this kind of weather. Her stomach never cooperated with her, no matter how much she yearned to enjoy warm beverages during a cold weather. She remembered trying to empty the canned coffee she and Luka bought from a vending machine the last time when they went out, but she ended emptying the content of her stomach because the drink tolerated her acidity. If she would drink something warm, milk was the safest.
"No, thanks. Just wondering what you have in there," Miku popped her thumb to their head nurse to show him she was fine, and then she turned around her seat and grinned at the couple whispering aloud to each other. "Hey! Just wondering why do you have to drink warm beverages, sorry to disturb your quality time."
The blue-haired nurse laughed dryly, probably because he found Miku's question quite stupid. "Other than to warm my stomach, what else? Drinking something of a different temperature makes your body react to such temperature. You know it already,"
"Geez, Kaito. Can't you see? Our little Miku here can't enjoy the wonders of drinking coffee." His fiancée commented, rolling her eyes back before pulling a folder from her desk. It was her turn to look after the patients in Ward 3. Setting down her half-empty mug on her desk, she waved her folder to them and jogged away from the nurse station. Miku watched the brunette to shrink as she ran – short hair bobbing – bearing in mind that rest was not in the vocabulary of every nurse in duty. The nurse station was quiet again, as silent as it was before she reached their desks, and the strong winds slapping the whole building was back.
"Um," Oliver sipped on his mug again before handing her the folder he was scanning earlier. It was Miku's second day in the hospital after deciding to work straight until today since the weather outside showed no good changes. The weather bureau forecasted that the hurricane would not leave the state until tomorrow morning. And as the eye moved closer to them, they could not expect the weather to be nice. Oliver was holding a folder where a paper was clipped on. He went to talk with Dr. Hibiki, an oncologist who was in-charge of the three patients on the private ward above their floor, and came back carrying a folder with him. Seeing her head nurse like this, Miku had a gut feeling that he would pick one of them for a new assignment. Anywhere but private wards, she silently prayed as her hand groped the chocolate bar she purchased from the canteen an hour ago. She was always fretful when new assignments were out, because she simply disliked looking after few people. Sure, it was an easier job compared to looking after ten to fifteen people, but whenever she would be assigned to a person, it always felt like...dead end. Nostalgic, moreover.
Or probably she hated attachment too much.
The head nurse put down his mug before Miku, waving the folder in front of them to catch their attention. Luka, Meiko, and Kaito stopped what they were doing and looked curiously at Oliver. When he was sure that he had them focused at him, he glanced on his wrist watch again, frowning when he noticed that it was already seven in the evening. The other four nurses were doing their rounds in wards 1, 3, and 5. "Looks like the four of you are the only choice I have. Those blondes won't be back until nine, right?" he looked at them again, "I received a special request. Dr. Hibiki asked for a private nurse for patient 307,"
The nurses with Miku did not react. What was new being assigned as a private nurse anyway? Nothing. They were nurses, it was their job. But Miku never liked being assigned as a private nurse – that was it. She groaned, tearing her snickers bar open and grabbing a bite. The other nurses with her, used with her kind of reaction, giggled at her. This made the said nurse scowl; this lose-lose situation was not funny at all.
Noticing the girl's reaction, Oliver raised a brow at her. That groan meant rejection of his announcement, right? The head nurse sighed, displeased with how Miku behaved. This was a common scenario when this time of their duty would come. Nurses should not be picky. Sick people needed them. How Miku behaved disappointed Oliver very much. Clearing his throat, the laughter faded. "Okay, as I was saying, Dr. Hibiki asked for a private nurse to monitor patient 307. The patient was recovering but his relatives went out of the state because of urgent matters, so he was alone. There are confidential matters involved so, yeah. They couldn't come back soon especially that their way here was the hurricane's track. Unfortunate, isn't it?" Oliver was aware that Miku was not really paying attention to whatever he was saying.
When he heard no complaints or reactions, Oliver grabbed his mug and emptied its content. There was no need to ponder who to assign, it was obvious. "Duty was for twenty-four hours; of course you would be paid additionally by the patient himself. Quite a catch, yeah?" the other three nurses besides Miku began murmuring. "Miku, duty starts tomorrow at five a.m." Oliver dropped the folder on her desk, not missing how she gaped at the folder in front her. So she really was avoiding it, huh? The head nurse shrugged and blew his fringe up. Nurses should not choose who to help, that was their call. Luka, Meiko, and Kaito chuckled. That's how they sympathized with a colleague.
As if on cue, Miku's watch beeped, signaling her time to do her rounds. Gathering her folders with her, she ran away from the nurse station because the three will definitely make fun of her. From the hallway she could hear the thunder roaring. The lobby was occupied by people who were watching the news; all had worry written on their faces. This place was a cradle of stress, Miku concluded long ago. Even she, herself, was stressed. Why was she a nurse again?
Brushing her teal tresses away from her face, she turned right and entered the children's ward, smiling as she walked toward the very first bed from the right. A girl around twelve years old was lying down there, eyes closed while dextrose was connected to her arm. Miku had talked to this girl before, when she was still on the seventh bed. However after some months of staying, she had a serious nervous breakdown that kept her unconscious for three days. They decided to move her to the very first bed, nearest the nurse station to keep her on surveillance. The good news, however, was that she woke up yesterday and they were monitoring if her condition would continue.
"Good evening, Mrs. Rocks," Miku greeted as she stood before the girl's mother. She flipped her folder and read the recent notes Luka had written, and then moved to adjust the girl's dextrose. "Have she waken up from her afternoon nap?"
The mother nodded and smiled, relaxing on her seat as she watched her daughter sleep. "Nurse Megurine said IA looks like she will be fine soon,"
"We're all looking forward to that, Mrs. Rocks. I'll just take her blood pressure, ma'am." Miku leaned down and looked over the screen at the upper side of the bed and noted what it displayed. "She will be good soon, I think. I'm not a doctor but I'm wishing the same. Good evening again, Mrs. Rocks." Miku smiled and moved to the next bed, greeting the patient's guardian a good evening. This would be a long night; she thought and flipped to the next page.
Her watch beeped. 20:00, it displayed.
Miku went out of Ward 2, shoulders sagging as she walked towards the vending machine at the end of the hall. Some teal hair strands fell out of its ponytail, exaggerating her exhausted physique. It was true; she was tired for she was staying in the hospital for two straight days. She hardly got any sleep, in fact. What made her more anxious was the fact that she had to come tomorrow as early as five in the morning for her new assignment. Miku stood before the vending machine and dropped few coins in it. Her face had all her thoughts written on it. She pressed the button for a cucumber juice.
"Hatsune," the girl stirred up hearing the familiar voice, and she crouched down to pick up her juice. She was lucky for her complaints about tomorrow's duty were declared mentally, or else the head nurse would have heard her. "Hatsune," Oliver called again, louder this time because he was standing next to her. "The weather seems fine now. You can go home and rest as much as you want. Go on, you cannot have reasons why come late tomorrow. See you around," with that, the blond left.
She did not even look at him nor did turn around to face him. She could be labeled disrespectful, but come on; she knew that he was pissed off with how she reacted earlier. Groaning, she remained crouching before the vending machine, pressing her face against the glass. "Oh really, why am I so lucky?" she slammed her fist on the machine before standing, throwing her head up to stare at the ceiling. Thoughts about why she was too unfortunate resumed. Batting her eyes due to a quick reflective silence, Miku went back to walking.
When she walked past the hallway, she saw the fine weather outside through the lobby. The rain had stopped and she did not notice when the sky calmed down. Miku must have been preoccupied with thoughts during her round.
She was always serious when on duty, never letting any other distractions get into her. People's health care was her priority, so she would do anything to keep them okay. Miku walked towards the glass wall, watching the cars on the highway. 'It felt like it never rained,' she mused while sipping on her cucumber juice. 'I shouldn't worry too much about tomorrow's duty,' ducking her head, Miku walked back to the nurse station to fetch her things. Yes, she would not ponder about things as of now. Leave tomorrow's problem for tomorrow. She badly needed some sleep right now.
The walk back to the nurse's station was short and peaceful, too quiet for her liking actually. Her every step echoed at the empty hallways, reminding her that she was in a hospital. The buzzing of monitoring machines could be heard the faintest from where she was, the beeping of heart beat, and the murmured prayers of the people seated in front the wards. Her steps thudded against the tiled floor, halting as she stood in between the Ward 3 and the staircase.
She was assigned to the oncology department in all of a sudden; it was not normal. Her sea-green eyes stared at the staircase that would amount to the private ward. If Dr. Hibiki was the doctor, patient 307 should not be in staying in a general ward even if he was in private room. Dr. Hibiki was an oncologist; patient 307 must be a cancer patient. People with cancer were normally prohibited to stay in the general ward, because their immune system was weaker compared to a healthy person. Miku had witnessed and assisted chemotherapy sessions before, and such treatment could weaken patients because the drug targets both good and malignant cells. The mere thought of looking after a cancer-patient made her feel a pang of guilt in her chest. She swore that she would not associate herself with them again. Miku crinkled her face, replaying her words earlier that she should worry about this tomorrow.
"Miku!" Luka waved a hand to Miku when the tealette was five meters away from the nurse station. "I received a note from Oliver. He said your patient was moved to the Cancer Institute building. Are you sure you can do it? I explained things to him. He said if you ask him personally, he will allow you to refuse the assignment. Go ahead and tell him,"
Miku emptied her juice and passed the folders to Luka for she would do her round next. "I won't," Miku shrugged, opening her palm in front Luka. She was asking for the keys of her locker. "I will take the opportunity to sleep and have a decent bath. I'll see you tomorrow." When Luka dropped the keys on her palm, Miku trotted away like an excited kid.
Luka watched her friend as she pulled her bag out of her locker. After a minute Miku came back and threw the keys back to Luka, waving a hand to announce her departure. Smiling back to her friend, Luka turned around and settled the folders Miku handed to her. She would do her round later at one a.m., so she would try napping while Kaito was still with her. But when she was about to duck on her desk she noticed that Miku gave her two folders. The other one was the same folder Oliver had when he assigned Miku to the private ward. Curious, her long fingers flipped it open and she began reading the details there: the patient's name, age, and condition.
Her curiosity faltered.
"Oh no," Luka quickly looked for her phone to send Miku a message. She shoved the papers aside to locate her phone on her desk, but it was not there. Pulling out the drawer, she rummaged the sachets of syringes and test tubes in there; however she would not possibly put her phone with these medical stuffs.
"Oh yes," Kaito laughed as he held out the phone to her. "You asked me to talk to your boyfriend before you talked to Miku. You're getting forgetful, Luka." The blue-haired nurse grinned at her, and if she was not in a relationship she would surely find Kaito's toothy grin sexy.
Luka nodded and took her phone from him, smiling apologetically. "Did Gakupo say something? He's jealous with you even if I explained that you and Meiko are engaged. He's making things complicated, really." And slowly, she was drifting away from a very important she has to tell Miku.
Kaito laughed again, his deep cool voice was really tempting Luka to have unholy thoughts. She was in a relationship already, she should not forget. "Yes, of course. He really is. I told him that he should stop suspecting you or something. After all our past was in the past, right?" Luka shot him a bewildered gaze, unsure whether he really mentioned it or not. Her hands felt the folder underneath her fingers, and she found it a good distraction from what Kaito just mentioned. With her trembling hands, she closed the folder and put it aside neatly while laughing nervously.
Only the two of them knew about it. Kaito and Luka were childhood friends back in Idaho, and as expected they grew up harboring mutual feelings for each other. Just like any other fancy childhood-love stories, they were lovers until Luka moved out to study in Ohio. They lost communication because cellular phones weren't a fad before, and she had no need of it back then. They fell out of love, of course, and they lived their lives separately. Fate surprised them though, for when Luka went to Switzerland to apply as a nurse, she never thought Kaito would be a workmate. She never thought he pursued nursing too. But things were different this time, because he was dating a pretty brunette, and Luka was dating an engineer from Ohio. She would not deny the excitement when she saw him again, but they were estranged from each other. Like two puzzle pieces that would not fit.
Kaito noticed her uneasiness so he placed a hand on her shoulder, he did not miss how she stiffened against his touch. They touched each other more intimate than a simple tap, but of course that was in the past. Only the two of them knew it. "Hey, chill. Calm down, Luka. We were teenagers back then. I know you love your life right now, okay? Calm down. Why are you looking for your phone like that, anyway? Do you have someone important to call?" at least he was good in changing topics, she thought.
Luka groaned and ducked on her desk. Her head felt like it was going to explode at any moment. He was such a distraction, he was such a distraction, she thought to herself, not used with talking to him solely like this. Why did he open up their silly past, anyway? Slamming her fist on her desk, she said, "oh gosh, I forgot what I will do next!"
Miku was groggy and irritable when she woke up. Her alarm clock was broken on the floor. Well, you could tell what tragedy was befallen on her alarm. It was already four in the morning, cold, quiet, and magical. Her half-opened eyes blinked twice, trying to register the dim place in her head. Plain white walls, plain white cabinet, white bed sheets...was she in an asylum? No. The photo standing on her nightstand reminded her that she was in her flat. Miku blinked at the two persons captured on the picture – an adult and a child. Time to snap out of my dream, she blinked again.
"Oh," she murmured, pulling her arms to her eyes. It was her room, she remembered. How could she forget her own place? Simple. She moved in to a new flat. She had a noisy landlady last time who kept on asking her to pay in advance. Of course she could not; she was sending a part of her salary to her family in Arizona. If she would pay in advance, her budget for the whole month would not suffice. Miku climbed down her bed and decided to prepare for today's work. Her long teal hair – frizzy, untidy, and full of tangles – smelled like her own drool. A handful of scented shampoo could wash away that smell, she mentally grinned. She went straight to her kitchen cabinet and pulled out a box of cereal – speak of being broke. An hour of preparation should be enough, unless she was keeping in mind that she was born a snail so everything was done too slowly.
"Oh," she slowly looked sideward, stare lingering at the direction of her room. The door opened slightly ajar gave her a glimpse of the broken alarm clock on the floor. "Looks like I have to buy a new one again." Miku resumed munching on her meal sleepily.
Miku's heart was pounding. It was a big mistake to overlook the file Oliver gave her yesterday. Going to her work as early possible was even a bigger mistake. It was literally ground-breaking.
Calm down, she thought. You're not robbing the hospital. What can I take from a hospital, anyway? Syringes? A box of dextrose? No, Miku. Calm down. You're not kidnapping anybody as well. You're not doing anything wrong. You're just entering Room 307.
A hand tapped Miku's shoulder and such gesture made the tealette jump in surprise. The folder tucked under her arm dropped on the ground open, and the first thing Miku saw was the details about the patient written there. Miku was about to pick it up but her hand froze in the air when she read the contents again, her face was growing pale. The person who tapped Miku crouched down and took the dropped files instead, pink hair obstructing Miku's view.
"Luka!" Miku exclaimed, straightening herself as the other nurse smiled at her. It was a forced smile though, the tealette could tell. "That's a mess! Tie your hair or Oliver will nag about it."
"Oh, oh yeah." Luka shrugged and looked up and down the hallway, checking on whether there were people nearby them. "I'll tie my hair later, but what is messy right now is your feelings. I told you about this yesterday, I was surprised that you'd still go on. Not to mention that I forgot to text you about your patient, it's Kaito's fault." Miku was puzzled with what Luka mentioned lastly but decided not to ask about it. Her knitted brows asked Luka to enlighten her. "Don't give me that look. It was him – he was your patient. You sure you can look after him, Miku? I can ask Oliver if we can switch duties right now—"
Miku let out a nervous laughter, obviously faking it but Luka was oblivious about it, and patted her friend's shoulder. What would she say? Something wise. Something cool. "You don't have to," she smiled at Luka and pulled the folder away from her. "Earth is occupied by billions of people and there can be millions of people having the same name, you know. I'm okay, Luka. I'm really fine." She turned away from her and extended out a hand to twist the knob, but before she could touch it Luka yanked Miku's arm away.
Miku faced the worrywart, getting annoyed with how Luka reacted to the whole situation. They are nurses and this is a part of their job. But deep inside Miku knew she did not want to do any of this – she had no reason in the first place. Why would she want? It was like rubbing salt to her wounds, harshly. Her sea-green eyes clashed with the deep-blue ones Luka had, and the message was conveyed. Something cool, something wise, Miku was thinking what to say. Something super cool, something that will make me sound like I am unaffected.
"Well," Miku gently pried Luka's fingers from gripping her arm. "If it is him, then I think it's about high time to reunite again," she did her best to hide the pain in her eyes, in her smile. Eyes creasing to hide the tears forming, Miku looked away and faced the door. "I will finally have the answers I am looking for, Luka." and with that Luka watched her friend enter the room. As the door closed before her face, Luka glanced at the small piece of paper she forgot to hand her friend. It was his schedule for a certain medical procedure that Miku will surely dislike. She decided to keep the paper to her pocket, keeping in mind to tell her colleague about this later.
Miku pressed her back flatly against the door. As much as possible she wanted to make no noise, wishing her presence to be unnoticed. She suddenly exhaled, unaware that she has been holding her breath the moment she entered the room. She was a nurse – she kept in mind – and she was not here because of personal reasons. Her eyes darted towards the bed set two meters from her; it was situated directly under the wide glass windows where she could see the indigo sky. It felt like a normal bedroom not a hospital room at all, but again Cancer Institute was estranged from general wards. There were no heart-monitoring devices around here at all. If not because of the scent of sanitizer filling in the room and the metal stand where dextrose was being hung, she would forget that she was still in the hospital. Miku's gaze landed on the bed. There was a lump on the bed, like a huge fetus curling underneath the white sheets. And she knew it was her patient.
Miku could not take a step forward. She felt like all of her energy had left her body, not that she really had plenty of it with that light breakfast, and the air she was breathing seemed so suffocating. Her whole body was trembling and the tears she was hiding from Luka earlier resurfaced and rolled down like glittering gems against the dim light. It was dark and cold inside this room; the loneliness was so much she could not take it. In all of a sudden she felt like loneliness had its invisible hands around her neck, strangling her as though she never deserved to be here.
She shot a hand up to her collar and tried pulling down the neck of her sweater, silently blaming the turtleneck sweater for feeling such odd aura. It was nothing supernatural at all; it was just her bleak anxiety and dread toward this situation. Who would have thought she was dreading to meet him again. Well, that was if the person underneath the sheet was really him. Suddenly she slid down to her feet slowly, allowing the tears to stream like running water, and sat there in silence while clutching the folder against her heaving chest.
"Kagamine Len," for all her life she only said his name this pained once. Not anymore. Today marked the second time. Her shoulders shook as she laughed softly, staring at the lump on the bed. She was praying that she entered the right room, that she was doing her drama in the right place, because if not...it was really ridiculous. "Twenty-eight years old," her voice cracked as she pronounced his age. "We haven't seen each other for four years, you dork."
The graduation day came.
Miku walked out of the open hall with Luka, grinning victoriously like a Cheshire cat. "We graduated!" they exclaimed and ran in circles, laughing as they took off their black robes and yellow ribbons. From where they stood they could see the other graduates running to their parents or guardians, and the two hugged each other for none of their families had attended their graduation. Luka was from Idaho and Miku was from Arizona, and their families were too broke to fund a trip to Ohio State University.
"We really are buddies," Luka grinned and winked at her before deciding to run downstairs. When she suddenly took a wrong step (since she was not really used to wearing high heels), she lost her balance and fell – but was luckily caught and held in place by a tall guy with purple hair. Miku was laughing at the two from the top stair, finding the whole scenery clichéd.
"Luka! I'll see you later, okay?" Miku ran back in the hall and went upstairs to visit the library once more. She had to meet someone important there. Four years of waiting was finally over. Taking off her heels, Miku scampered to the hall that would lead her to the library.
Her story was...funny. Luka said it was unbelievable, fictional. But it happened to her. Miku experienced it. It was during the time during her first year in the university when she borrowed a book. There was a note inserted between the pages of the book where a mobile number was written. The name 'Kagamine Len' was written down there. It hardly mattered at all since the book was in the library and it was not owned by anyone – of course, someone owned it beforehand, until he or she decided to donate it. Miku loved reading literature contrary to her program taken. Sometimes she asked herself if ever she was given a choice, would her parents allow her taking creative writing or something literature-related program.
Going back to the book, the book was once owned by the said Kagamine Len. The card showed that the owner of the book was borrowing it from time to time, as if he or she never had read its content. The recent date when he borrowed the book was five days ago. So when it was the book's due, Miku left a note asking why the owner was still borrowing the book. Much to her surprise, after five days, there was a reply on the note she left.
'Hi, Len. You owned this book before, right? Can't help but notice your name on the card. -Miku'
'Hey, Miku. Mum asked me to get rid of my books but I couldn't do such cruel thing. I wasn't able to finish reading this book before so I am determined reading it all. - Len.'
'Oh! I didn't expect this reply at all! I see. Then I'll take this out after you. This is a good book. Thanks for donating it here. -Miku.'
'Yes, do as you wish. :D -Len.'
'Are you a boy or not? -Miku.'
'What do you want me to be? -Len.'
'A human. Get a grip! We're waiting for each other's reply every after five days! - Miku.'
'You sound grumpy there. I'm a boy. A handsome one, if I may say so. - Len.'
'Hey, you didn't take this book out? - Len.'
'When will you be back? I guess I should have asked for your email address so I would have mailed you instead. -Len.'
'Ever heard of the midterm exams? :D won't give you my email address. I'm done reading this book. I'll tell you a secret. There is a shelf in here that is totally desolated because it contains outdated books. It was the last shelf from this row, old encyclopedias were there. I left a mail in between books A and C. - Miku.'
Beginning that day, Miku befriended her pen pal, oblivious of how he looked or what his real identity was like. Miraculously they never crossed paths, she never saw him within four years of being 'penfriends'. It was until their last weeks in the university when she received a letter from Len, asking if they could finally meet. They were able to keep each other's identity anonymous from one another for all these years, and maybe it was about time to meet. She set the date on their graduation day, right after the ceremony.
Miku ran quietly inside the library, smiling at the librarian as she put back her stilettos. The library was empty, no single soul was there. She grinned mentally because maybe it was quite dramatic for their first meeting. But being alone in a library didn't sound too safe as well. What if Len was a bad guy like what Luka said? Miku pushed that thought away, a guy reading a good book could never be bad. Unless he was reading a bad material?
The girl waltzed to the said shelf; her heels thudded at every step. She was giddy as she approached the shelf, but her excitement was interrupted when she heard someone cough hoarsely from the said shelf. It sounded like a horrible dry cough crackling on someone's throat, as though it was a firework. Miku continued walking and spotted a blond sitting on the ground. The afternoon sun was bathing him with so much light, his flaxen hair stood out against the brownish hardcover of old encyclopedias and dictionaries behind him. His face was turned away, eyeing the afterglow. His robe was wrapped around him as if it was a blanket, and Miku saw him shudder even if this place was not cold at all.
"Len?" she called; he stirred. Their eyes clashed and an awkward silence engulfed them.
"M..." he coughed, "uh, muh-ough, Miku?" he asked, slowly rising from his seat. He had an unhealthy complexion, his eyes were partly drooping. "I'm sorry. I am not feeling too well right now, so I kinda ditched the ceremony."
She smiled. He was really tall. "I can tell."
"Yeah, I need someone to nurse me right now. My head's pounding," he grinned at her. "Will you do the honor, Nurse Hatsune?"
She laughed. "I'm not a registered nurse yet, but why not?"
Miku finally calmed down. Her breathing was normal. The tears streaming like Niagara Falls finally ceased, and she was certain that she regained her energy right now. The sky was slowly beginning to clear, it would be morning soon. She stood and walked towards the bed. He was tucked under the blanket wholly, from head to toe. Did he know she was his nurse? Miku held the blanket and pulled it down to see his face.
They were together for seven months already. It was not hard for them to like each other - or love, even better – given that they flirted a lot in those letters for four years. On Len's twenty-third birthday, Miku decided to give him a present she decided only he could have.
She pulled his covers up to their chins, smiling at each other sleepily. He pulled her close to him, so close she could not escape, and kissed her forehead. He whispered a thank you, low and sensuous, and she was glad that he was her first. He was so gentle and was so careful with whatever he did to her, aware that it was her first. He confessed that she was his first as well, and Miku could not contain her happiness.
"Anything for you," she replied, lifting her face to steal a kiss from his lips. "You're so pretty, Len. You remind me of Sleeping Beauty." She was growing tired. Even if she wanted to hear what he would say next she only snuggled up with him. "Stay. Let's stay this way forever." She heard him whisper his assent as his arms around her petite body tightened. That night, she thought what they have was everlasting.
The folder escaped her grip. Her eyes widened at the sight of him lying there, he was dead white and extremely thin. There was a tube passing through his nose. She knew what it was for, that was where his liquefied food would pass through. Her breathing shook, her body quivered, her sobs echoed. She never imagined crying again, well not after when she thought she no longer had tears to shed. "Len," she fell on her knees while clutching the side of his bed. She could not take it – seeing Len like this was killing her. "Len," she held his bony hands in between her healthy ones, and she was losing her cool again. "What happened? What happened?"
This time, he woke up.
Miku was not kidding when she told Len that she found him attractive when he was serious. Whenever he would brood on things, she could not stop ogling him even though she had a taste of him and all. He was always a favorite of hers, like a cartoon show she would not get tired watching even if she had her hair grey. She smiled as she watched him scowl while solving the Sudoku set she presented.
"Dear," she laughed. "Will you stop pouting like that?"
He shot her a curious stare. "It's normal when you're leaning to your fist, honey. Applying force to your chin will make you pop your lips. Why did you give this, anyway? I really hate numbers. I won't take Biology if I have a liking to Math."
"Len, that's just Sudoku! You have chemistry subjects, hello?"
"Honey," Len dropped his pen and paper and moved to sit on the arm of her couch. "It's still Math. I hate it, I swear. Science's math is different, you know. Then let me say this, I hate Sudoku puzzles. But there's something I want to solve all my life,"
"Uh-huh," she grinned. "What is it?"
"You."
"Oh, so I'm a problem then?" she raised a brow in skepticism, silently mocking his failed pick-up line.
He rolled his eyes and ruffled her hair before going back with his Sudoku puzzle. He knew he was defeated. For the the twentieth time. His pick-up lines suck. "Will I get a price if I solve this?"
She grinned victoriously. "Of course, my love."
"Miku," he called again; their eyes met. "I love you."
"Thank you," she giggled and slouched on her seat. When he whined at her response she said, "yes, I love you more."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do."
"No, because I should be the one saying that." He scowled at her. "I love you. Forever."
Miku smiled, hoping that he really will keep those words true. Until the end of time.
Miku emptied the content of her stomach as early as four in the morning. She had her duty later seven, but it suddenly felt like she was ill. Leaning against the sink, she massaged her abdomen. Whatever happened to her, she could only have one accurate guess. Miku quickly ran to her room and rummaged her chest drawer, pulling out her pregnancy test kit. Her eyes narrowed at it, she would not know if she would not try. After all she and Len had been adventurous for the past month.
After some minutes of waiting, she could not stop the grin drawing on her face.
"Len," she saw him seated on a bench outside a restaurant they used to dine. He was brooding again, oblivious to the stares the girls were giving him. "Len! I have something to tell you."
"I have something to tell you, too." His voice was serious as though it was wishing her to keep her excitement down, because whatever he would say next...it was not worth the energy. "You go first, Miku."
She felt nothing but willies with how he spoke her name. Somehow, Miku wanted to run away and forget that she has good news to tell. "I'm..." she pulled his chin up so they could at each other's eyes."I'm pregnant," she continued, letting her fingers slip away from his skin. His tears flickered from his eyes, so quick; what she said broke the cold demeanor he was trying to show. Len was never a good actor. He was too honest to lie.
He felt his heart shattering – she saw him breaking into pieces as he cried. He was so vulnerable and she knew he was. His body trembled violently as he wailed like a lost wolf, and she could not hold him. She could not touch him and pat his back and tell him that it is fine. Miku figured out what he wanted to say, she had seen various movies about breakups. The recent one was something they watched together.
"I'm sorry," he said it, she snickered. Funny, it did feel so...genuine. Miku was starting to wonder if she was not enough. From now on, she would stop recalling their bed escapades. She would gradually forget those late nights they would snuggle up to each other, discussing what kind of family would they make in the near future. Their plans of growing old together – she had to erase them in her mind the moment she turned her back to him.
"Don't be," she chuckled, twiddling her thumbs. Her eyes were warming now. She would show him, she wouldn't shed a tear. "Do you have...any commitments? Why so sudden?" Casual, be casual – no, it was a torture. She was not a good actress, either.
He only winced. "You would understand it someday." She scowled. He could not even look at her right now. "But I love you," he added, voice cracking. "I love you that's why I'm doing this."
Miku knitted her brows in confusion. This kind of excuse, it was all too familiar—it was a movie material and she would not buy such kind of excuse. He had her, all of her, and yet here he was, breaking her heart. "Kagamine Len," her voice was pained and hoarse. "Thanks for everything, okay? Be well." And she badly wished that forgetting, that moving on, was as easy as one, two, three.
"Len," Miku cried, kissing the back of his hand. He was so thin; she barely felt any of his flesh against her hands. He was cold, too, and she was feeling nothing but fear. Fear of losing him at any moment. When she was assigned as a private nurse on the third month of her pregnancy, Len was her patient. It surprised her of course, to see him lying on a bed and staring at the ceiling. He was like an emotionless sociopath, but when he saw her, Miku saw his pupils dilate. But stress was not good for her, so she asked to be assigned somewhere else. When she could not stand seeing him every day for his daily checkups, she applied for a job in Switzerland together with Luka.
"Len," she called again, her voice reflected how torn her heart was for all these years they had not seen each other. She felt him held her weakly, and such action made her break her heart, if possible, because it was already broken. "What happened? Why are you here?"
He only winced—without a word. It was just like before when they broke up, the way his eyes stared at her was the same. Grieving for his loss. This triggered her to cry more, bathing his hands with her tears. The very first thing to do in a morning she wailed like there's no tomorrow – literally – and sat beside him, waiting for him to say a word. Until now, he was the same. Trying to look tough and magnificent through keeping the real problem a secret to her.
"Please," she felt her heart sinking. "Please," she repeated, hoping that he was not here to undergo that procedure.
"Euthanasia," his voice was still the same, except for its lack of vigor. "I finally saw the solution to this problem. Without involving you."
"Don't say that," she yelled, standing on her feet while holding his hands. "I don't want to lose you. Please, you should have told me earlier."
He only winced and smiled. Well, he tried to smile. With his bony face, the smile did not suit him well anymore. She wanted to turn around and just cry. It was like poking her heart with a huge sword. It was slowly killing her.
"Please," she cried. "I can't! There's so much...there's so much we have to catch up on, Len. You have your son, he is turning four now. He had a blonde. He was really noisy. Like you. He loves singing like you. He wants to see you. Please. Don't go. Don't go, Len. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
He only smiled and winced.
Len was diagnosed with gastroesophageal carcinoma when was twenty-four. It was on the early stage back then, but he knew the danger it would pose if not treated soon. Lately he was unable to eat well, he felt like there was a lump in his stomach and it was blocking the food. His mom accompanied him to be checked up, and the ad news was told them after series of examinations. When he had it confirmed after considering a second opinion, Len decided to tell Miku the truth. It was not a contagious disease. The whereabouts of how this illness began was unknown. Based on the possible reasons Len had seen on the internet, it might be because of his neglected ulcer gone worse. He didn't want Miku to worry about him, but when he found out that small percentage of patients survived it, he was doubtful.
Len did not expect that Miku was pregnant that day he decided to breakup with her. She was his world, but he could not be hers because of the child. So he decided to cut their ties so she could focus on raising their child, while he followed her in shadows. He never missed a thing about her everyday life, even until their child was born. He knew his name, how he looked, where he was—the boy was left in Arizona, in Miku's parents. But Len could not show up to him, to them, because with the silicon hose on his nose, he knew he would scare them. Len continued the chemotherapy and at some point he was able to eat solid foods again. Len survived for three years. Until one day, he was not able to eat normally again. His tummy began to inflate and worried he was, he went back to his oncologist. His cancer was on the third stage. The chemotherapy never worked for the past years. Almost weekly, Len has to come back in the hospital to drain the liquid filling up his stomach. His dosage for the chemotherapy was increased and his doctor used a stronger drug. Len was determined to survive from cancer and get to Miku and his son.
But having the determination would not help a person survive cancer at all. Len was against a fatal illness and he was aware of that. He never lost hope, but he still wanted to live and grow old with Miku. He wanted to watch their son, Rinto, be what he wanted to be. However as the time went by, that dream became too hard to achieve: his body thinned, his knees weakened until he could no longer walk. Soon, he was bedridden. He was so young to deserve this – Len could only weep. His doctor confessed that his end was indefinitely nearing to an end, so Len decided to undergo euthanasia. Be it done in the hospital where she was working, it was a coincidence.
"I have it scheduled today, Miku. Seeing you makes me the happiest man right now. I still love you. I do and my love is longer than what my life promises." Len has no regrets. He loves her with all of his heart, and distancing himself is out of love. It will be hard for both of them, so he took it all. "Do I still look like Sleeping Beauty now? I bet I don't. You know it, right? A kiss will not wake me up."
Miku cried against his hands. It's over now. Nothing could be undone.
Author's note: hey! I'm glad you actually read this, even if it's an obvious tragic story. Quite not moving, I know. Anyway, I have its draft saved in my laptop for two weeks now so I decided to finish this and tadaa~. Don't get me wrong, though. I'm still on a semi-hiatus and as long as I'm not getting over this writer's block, I won't be so active. And uni started, I'm busy. So, I just want to announce something here: I'm gonna marry-no, I mean... Allechant and I are collaborating to write a fanfic novel. But we don't have anything concrete yet, we're still drafting the story. (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WHO AM I TO WRITE WITH SOMEONE AS GREAT AS HER? *cries) so yeah, hopefully, the future updates I'm gonna make will be our collab work. :)