I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in then I start to see
The edge of the bed where your nightgown used to be
Rachel walked back into her room for the first time since she and Nathan were officially over. She looked around, and she almost cried. This room, where so much had happened between them, so much had been shared.
She had, of course, been the one to end it. The first time she had told him she loved him there was a fight and a break-up. Then they got back together about three days later. She had said that she could bury her feelings, but she couldn't. Or at least not for long. She had fallen for him again, and it was scaring her. She wasn't good enough for him, and she didn't want him falling in love with her. Because she knew that if they stayed like that he would fall in love too.
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remember
What it feels like beside you
She had promised herself that this time it would be different. This time she was going to bury her feelings. She couldn't though. All these memories kept flooding back. The nights they spent together, the early mornings before anyone else in the house woke up.
"Nathan, what are you doing?!" she giggled. They had been in his room on his bed feeling each other up when he had gotten up and walked across the room. He opened a drawer across the room and pulled out candles. "Nathan." She said to him in awe, looking at how romantic he was being. "Come here." she called and pulled him back on top of her.
I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
"Mmmm." She heard Nathan moan into the back of her head, while playing with her hair. "You smell so good today." He had smiled at her. "Use all your senses today Nathan. Smell me, see, me, hear me, touch me, taste me." She teased him. She teased him like this everyday. Things had even gotten so out of hand once that they had sex in the boiler room at school.
Nathan didn't need to hear that twice. He had been sitting behind her on the bed. He moved quickly to her front and kissed her hard. He pushed her so she was laying down in front of him. He heard her giggling, like she always did before they did something sexual. He never would have thought she was as experienced as she was. Not with the way that she always giggled.
He quickly pulled off her shirt, and pulled off his own. He had her pinned to the bed. She liked it rough, and he was happy to give it to her that way. He unbuttoned her pants and saw that her wetness had soaked through her panties. Well, that's what happens whenever they spend the whole day together. "You're so wet Rach." He said, slowly pulling her panties down.
He went up and kissed her beautiful neck, working his way down her abdomen. "You said you want me to touch you babe?" he asked, slowly inserting his finger into her wet, hot core. He was answered by a moan. He started going faster, working with two fingers, then three. He slid down and kissed his inner thigh, feeling her shiver, and about to cum. "Not yet. You told me to taste you." He whispered to her. He removed his fingers and inserted his tongue, tasting her. He worked on her for about a minute before he felt her orgasm. He tasted her all, enjoying this experience. He had no idea how he got a girl like this.
While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took that you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't wanna lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
He had been talking to her several days before the break-up about certain things that were there. He said that there were pictures from the formal there, pictures that his parents wanted to see. There were pictures of him and the team, then just pictures of the two of them. She took out an empty box, and started to pack them. She put in the pictures. She tossed in some of his clothes that were still there. His iPod was sitting on the counter. She picked that up and tossed it into the box too. Under the iPod there was another picture. A picture of Rachel and Nathan at the mall.
"And what do you think of this?" Rachel asked Nathan, holding up some sexy lingerie inside the store. "What happened to not having sex every hour? Because, at this rate, its not gonna work." He responded, his eyes full of lust. "I don't think I can wait that long. I'm gonna go try this on." She said with a suggestive smirk, walking into the dressing room.
Nathan followed her, practically drooling. As soon as she stepped into the empty changing quarters Nathan followed her in, locking the door behind him. He didn't even bother to wait until she tried on the lingerie. He practically attacked her, his lips meeting her with such force that she got pushed backward. He pinned her to the wall, kissing her neck. "Nathan." She moaned. He took that as his cue and pulled off her camisole. She wasn't wearing a bra, which turned him on even more. She reached out and pulled off his shirt, then her hands made their way to the button of his pants. Nathan helped her get them off of him, then his hands made their way to her mini-skirt. He pulled it down, noticing that she was panty-less. At the notice of that Nathan quickly pulled off his boxers.
"Nathaaaaaaan," Rachel moaned as he entered her. It felt so right. There was so much intensity. It was all so public. It made this so much more fun. He was thrusting into her so powerfully, that she was getting a little sore. But it felt so good. "Almost…there…OH NATHAN!" She called as she reached her climax. Hearing her call his name like that pushed him over the edge. He exploded inside her, then almost collapsed against the wall. "Wow Rach." He said quietly to her. "C'mon." she said quietly to him, starting to get dressed. "Someone must have heard us. We should probably go." They got dressed and left the dressing room. No one seemed to notice. About an hour later they went at it again, having sex in the middle of the abandoned food court.
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remember
What it feels like beside you
She looked at the box she had packed. All of his things were packed in it now. "Nathan!" she cried. She fell into a heap on the floor. "Nathan!" She cried again. She could feel the tears flowing down her face. She needed him beside her. He was the love of her life, and she couldn't imagine living without him. But that's what she had to do. She had to cut him out completely. She knew how he would always get to her, those feelings would never go away. That was why he had to be out of her life.
I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
She could hear a noise downstairs, like the front door opening. Great, just great. Here comes Nathan. This was going to kill her. "Hey." He called to her from the doorway. She looked up and Nathan could tell that she had been crying. He could tell by her bloodshot eyes, her running eyeliner, her tear stains on her face. "Rach, baby, what's wrong?" he asked her. He was too good to her. She had dumped him. Harshly, yelling about how she never wanted to see him again. Now he was here, making sure she was ok. He was too good for her.
The bed I'm laying in is getting colder
Wish you never would have said it's over
And I can't pretend I won't think about you when I'm older
'Cause we never really had our closure.
This can't be the end
End
"Get out!" Rachel yelled at him. She pulled herself up onto her bed. Her bed, where they had made love so many times. It was so strange, thinking that they would never again wake up next to each other. She had always cherished those early mornings. "Get out!" she repeated. "I love you Rachel." He said, then walked out the door, down the hall, down the stairs, and outside the door. "Damnit!" She yelled to herself, curling into a little ball. What would happen with them? He loved her, and she loved him. But they couldn't be together. Could they?
I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
"I love you too." She whispered to a picture of him. She realized that she didn't tell him to take his box. Well, maybe… She got up and walked to the box. She looked at all of his things inside it. Rachel diverted her eyes from the box, but picked it up and brought it to her closet. She covered it with some clothes then closed the closet doors. Just because they couldn't be together didn't mean she couldn't miss him.
I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
Rachel pulled out her cell phone. She scrolled through the recent calls. Nathan. With one press of a button she deleted him from her cell phone. She kept scrolling through. Soon she reached Mouth's entry. She pressed the call button and put the phone to her ear. "Hey Mouth, its Rachel. Can you come over? I need a friend." She was answered with a "Sure." And fifteen minutes later there was a knock on her bedroom door.
(And I think you should know this)
You deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
You deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
You deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
"He told me he loved me." Rachel cried to Mouth. "He can't love me." Mouth had known everything that was going on. She told him. She told him everything. He was the one guy who she could talk to about anything, including Nathan. "Rachel, I don't get it. Did you still break up with him?" Mouth asked her quietly, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. She nodded slowly. "Yeah. Yeah I did." Mouth was wondering why she had broken up with him. "But, isn't that what you wanted? Didn't you break up with him because you were afraid he didn't love you?" Rachel thought that she had explained this to him already. "No, I didn't want him to fall in love with me. He deserves better than me. He deserves much better than me."