Hello fanfic readers this is my first fanfiction so I've decided to make a Once upon a time fic it may not be super adult but let's just go with the flow (btw no smut i don't do well with it this is pure humor) so sit down relax, grab some popcorn and enjoy
Life in Storybrooke had never been easy but that was before Good won the final battle and everything was peaceful (except for when Pan and Cora came back to life, all hell broke loose.) But everyone had settled their differences and decided to move in together as one (semi) happy, dysfunctional, twisted family. I was cuddling with Regina, While Killian, Dad, Henry, Pan, and Rumple were playing poker betting with gummy bears and Dr. Peppers, off to the side Cora, Belle and Zelena were reading Magazines and Neal jr and Gideon was sleeping. Everything was nice and peaceful until Cora looked up and saw something "The fuck...?" she said catching all our attentions, she was staring at Gina's apple tree, I looked over curiously and saw my mom talking...to the tree. "What is she doing? " I asked curiously not taking my eyes off her "Well it appears, love that she's talking to a tree." Killian answered me matter of factly, I rolled my eyes "I know that but why?" "Maybe she's on meds or high or smokin some 'magic' mushrooms or some shit like that" Henry supplied "Or maybe she's just crazy..." Pan mumbled causing Dad to glare at him, I was about to answer until I saw something move in the tree it came out and I saw a blue bird "I knew she talked to birds but she just looks bat shit crazy at this point." I said not able to take my eyes off my crazy ass mother, "I agree Dear she looks like a few screws are missing." Regina said acting as if this was normal (well as normal as you can get in Storybrooke we have werewolves and witches for fuck's sake.) "should we poof her to Jiminy see if he can help her." David suggested Rumple quickly inserted "No that crazy ass girl is beyond his expertise she needs to be separated from everyone to help her heal." "Okay...Let's throw in the White Room." Pan quickly and excitedly interjected (the White room is basically just what the says it has no color, no furniture or windows and doors.) "no I'll handle this." Cora said getting up and rolling her magazine "SNOW WHITE GET YOUR BAT SHIT CRAZY ASS OVER HERE NOW!" I heard her exclaimed then that got answered with" LEAVE ME CORA THIS IS MY FAMILY NOW!" "BITCH WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THEY'RE ANIMALS!" I then noticed everyone was laughing because Cora started chasing my mother with a magazine, I started laughing when I heard Cora yelling "I'M GONNA BEAT SOME SENSE INTO YOUR CRAZY ASS!" "Should we..help..her?" Zelena asked through the laughs "No this is to entertaining to pass up " Regina said trying to calm down, but then I saw something "Did she just throw shit at her?" Gina asked irridiculously, then I heard "DID YOU JUST THROW SHIT AT ME LIKE A FUCKING MONKEY?!" then I heard shrieking then silence "Should we go check on them?" Dad looked like he was about to answer until Cora walked in suprisingly clean(she magicked the shit away) "Mother what happened?" Regina asked "I sent her to the Sahara Desert " she answered with an evil grin "can you magic her back" "not yet the spell lasts for 2 hours until then I'm goin to Granny's peace motherfuckers" then she poofed out.
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