1
Ianto walked with Max towards the throng of people, they were running late. Something that he despised as much as Max and Jack was still apologising for losing the keys.
"Well, a spare set would be a good idea then" Ianto closed the non-argument with a kiss and then he took off, racing for the children coming towards them in a small wave of excitement.
Followed by dogs.
Lots of dogs.
"Shit" Jack huffed as they all tumbled over the children who tumbled over Ianto, his pristine white shirt now definitely grass stained, mud splattered and the little one with a ice block was probably smearing red food colouring all over it as well. Only the laughter inside the huddle stopped Jack from rescuing him so he walked over to Fred who was watching the show with affection.
"Our new one is the shaggy white thing" Gerry pointed, "Fucking thing eats shoes. Don't know why, loves them."
"Previous owner probably let it have one as a puppy thinking it looked cute dragging it about" Ianto explained as he came over with children still attached on his hips, around his shoulders and one sitting happily on his foot like a little coruscation.
"Can't break it then" he sighed.
"Go to the thrift shop and get some old pairs, put them in a basket. Keep yours up for a while. Soon the smell of them will be his, your will smell of you. He might get the idea but who knows" Ianto shrugged and then let the children down, kissed and crooned, then let them race off, dogs in tow.
"So. How did you get your dog then? Pound?" Fred asked Gerry.
"No. Heard of the problems others were having with that so I went to a breeder. Thought, room of puppies, how can I go wrong" he snorted, "we were so enamoured we didn't notice her leave the room until the yelling started. Found that thing out back on a chain. Clung to it like it was a fucking unicorn."
Ianto smiled softly.
"Was it mistreated?" Fred frowned.
"No, just old. The woman explained it was past breeding and retired. Tied up because it bites visitors but she was having none of it. Those big eyes, wobbly lip and … well. Even the woman was convinced, gave the bloody thing to her before we could even work out she was playing us."
"Mine rang an ad in the paper. Can you imagine? Three. On the phone asking politely for directions for the doggie." Heather laughed, "Mad. Said something about the betterment of the family unit."
"Fuck me!" Stan spluttered, "Family Unit. That's what Barret said, he said 'Tad, you know it's for the betterment of the family unit that we get a fuzz' and I thought it weird."
"So. Do they have cell phones shoved up their butts or something like prison inmates? How the hell are they communicating like that?" Fred demanded and all eyes went to Ianto who shrugged.
"Said it yourself. Used the phone. Max is often on it talking to some sibling or other. Mostly dog talk so I guess they are synchronising their attacks." Ianto said then looked at Jack as they thought the same thing.
Like a unit.
Use the word unit when speaking of themselves. Like a task force or … squad. Ianto looked over the little sea of heads and saw what he had created, what Yvonne had sought and what was now a reality.
An Army.
"Shit" Jack whispered as he saw it too then he started to laugh softly as he ran to catch a little girl who was caught in her skirts and giving them a right telling off as she struggled with her captured foot.
Ella slid her hand into Ianto's as they watched then she leaned in close and his eyes widened, "You're caught!"
She leaned back, "what I was about to whisper. You can … what … smell it?"
"Yeah" his face lit up as he turned to embrace her, delighted that they had managed to create. "well done missus"
"Thank you" she said softly, "I've not told him yet. Tonight. For some reason I … I wanted you to know first. This being yours too. Tonight while the kids are all with you I will tell him."
"Max is so excited for tonight" Ianto changed the subject as Jack started towards hem with Frank "I fear the main room will need a flea bomb once done."
"Nonsense, these kids are all yours so their dogs will be pristine!" Jack scoffed.
"I'm not talking about them!" Ianto said calmly, and then pointed, "I mean the other kid in the group. That bloody cuckoo."
Jack turned to see Owen in the sea of children, pulling at a toy as he argued that the kid was doing it all wrong. Laughter started as they watched the children swarm over the adult, holding him down as he screamed for help.
The little one triumphantly walked away with his toy.
The swarm released their pray.
Not a word had been exchanged throughout the entire thing.
Ianto tried not to think too much about it.
It had been perfectly executed.